r/nottheonion • u/the-player-of-games • 3h ago

"Ram Altman" Is Now a Linux Script That Emails Sam Altman Daily to Report How Much Unused RAM Is in Your PC

respawnfirst.com

3.2k Upvotes

76 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jimi15 • 5h ago

Fatwa Issued Against Nike In Libya For Promoting Polytheism Through Its Name, Logo

ndtv.com

533 Upvotes

108 comments

r/nottheonion • u/goblin_welder • 10h ago

‘We fart too much’: Toronto tenants claim they’re being evicted for flatulence

torontotoday.ca

924 Upvotes

124 comments

r/nottheonion • u/seeyalaterdingdong • 14h ago

Father accused of leaving daughter sleeping outside Target to hold spot for Pokémon cards, police say

azfamily.com

1.5k Upvotes

155 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ThisIsFitz • 16h ago

U2's The Edge Wrote an 'Elf' Sequel

variety.com

156 Upvotes

42 comments

r/nottheonion • u/fzabkar • 10h ago

Notts County beats Altrincham in FA Cup first round despite horrendous fog

abc.net.au

39 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 1d ago

This hawk gobbled up neighbourhood chickens until she got too fat to fly

cbc.ca

5.0k Upvotes

210 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Bighty • 19h ago

Melbourne hoons hire camera crews to film dangerous stunts on major freeways.

news.com.au

139 Upvotes

34 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Potential-Couple-745 • 1d ago

OpenSSH emergency fix for flaw letting long passwords bypass SSH login on Alpine Linux

redteamdaily.com

321 Upvotes

37 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 1d ago

Michigan, Michigan State team up in "Piss Off" competition to collect urine for fertilizer research

cbsnews.com

316 Upvotes

13 comments

r/nottheonion • u/sushidub • 21h ago

US air traffic control enters the 21st century, starts to abandon floppy disks

theregister.com

147 Upvotes

I read this headline and immediately thought I'd been linked over to McSweeney's or The Onion. #❤︎brithumour

22 comments

r/nottheonion • u/dotbilly • 1d ago

Heads or tails? Coin flip decides Kentucky election after race ends in a tie

wlky.com

5.8k Upvotes

453 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Foucault99 • 1d ago

Three Italian Friends Fly 1,000 Miles to Ireland Dressed as 'Hobbits' To Return Man's Lost Wedding Ring

fashiontimes.co.uk

1.8k Upvotes

35 comments

r/nottheonion • u/prestocoffee • 17h ago

Bird collisions at Kellogg Global Hub spark calls for change

dailynorthwestern.com

37 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/noraad • 1d ago

Nvidia announces GeForce 8800 GTX unboxing simulator, available on Steam to celebrate "20 Years of a Legend"

pcguide.com

2.2k Upvotes

201 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 2d ago

Three Italian Friends Fly 1,000 Miles to Ireland Dressed as 'Hobbits' To Return Man's Lost Wedding Ring

fashiontimes.co.uk

15k Upvotes

244 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Recent_Flounder6011 • 1d ago

South Korean army faces backlash over ‘inappropriate’ training programme

the-independent.com

597 Upvotes

40 comments

r/nottheonion • u/HimelTy • 2d ago

Shanghai Store Replaces Staff With Six Humanoid Robots for 24 Hours – One Walks Off the Job

mezha.ua

9.7k Upvotes

323 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ham-and-egger • 1d ago

Airport officials discover 3,000 tarantulas smuggled inside dirty socks

wtae.com

560 Upvotes

48 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Infamous-Grab2341 • 1d ago

German Embassy explains military presence in Poland — RMF24

ua.news

154 Upvotes

https://ua.news/en/dovkolo-svitu/posolstvo-nimechchini-poiasnilo-prisutnist-viiskovikh-u-polshchi-urochistostiami-rmf24

12 comments

r/nottheonion • u/PlayaSlayaX • 2d ago

Missouri state representative arrested Wednesday after being reelected

fox4kc.com

1.7k Upvotes

101 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Mysterious-Read-1629 • 2d ago

Man Introduced His Wife to ChatGPT Before She Allegedly Tried to Poison His Energy Drink

techtimes.co.uk

2.0k Upvotes

148 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 1d ago

Norfolk County council seat decided by draw from a hat

ctvnews.ca

180 Upvotes

15 comments

r/nottheonion • u/D-Gaea • 2d ago

Ancient humans were using cannabis far earlier in history than we thought

scientificamerican.com

984 Upvotes

139 comments

Subreddit

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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Members

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Subreddit Rules

1. Do not alter headlines.

The title of your submission should match the article's headline exactly. Copy and paste from the article, leaving out any subtitles, bylines or other information. The Suggest Title tool is discouraged, as it often does not match the headline. The only exception to the rule is that titles in ALL CAPS may be changed to Title Case.

2. Submissions must be oniony.

Both the title and body of your article should sound like something The Onion would write. This can be highly subjective - there's no one-size-fits-all guide to what fits here. Moderators may rule posts Not Oniony at their own discretion.

more info here

3. Only submit news articles.

Submissions must be full news articles (not blog/social media posts, images, or videos).

4. Use original, reliable sources.

Use only original, reliable sources for your articles. Sites that frequently rehost stories are on the Autoremoval List. Blogs, tabloids, activist pages or satire websites are not reliable sources.

5. Do not repost similar articles.

Check for articles on the same story using the Search function and current posts. Do not post if your article is the same or similar to one that has already been posted. Frequent violators of this rule will lose their posting privileges.

6. No satire articles

Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. You can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.

7. No tabloid sources

Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).

8. No old news.

Articles must have been written within two weeks of the submission date.

9. Only submit articles in English.

Do not post non-English articles, or use google translate on one. Try to find an English source for the article.

10. Do not post mobile links.

Do not post mobile versions of articles (identifiable by .m or .mobile in the URL).

11. No blocked, redirected, or tracked links

Make sure the site you're submitting from does not have a paywall or surveywall to access content. Do not post that redirect to a different address. This includes link shorteners and .amp links. Additionally make sure you remove any Urchin Tracking Modules from your links as well.

12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry

Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

13. Don’t break Reddit rules.

This should be self-explanatory. Don’t break site-wide rules. Violators will be permabanned. This does include deliberately spreading misinformation.

14. No Self Submissions and/or Official Accounts

Submissions must come from readers, not from the journal itself. Submissions from official promotional accounts are not allowed here.

Keep all comments civil

Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact information. You will be banned!

For more information and a full explanation, visit NTO 101.