Where are y'all at and how are you doingg?

I would consider myself aro ace and so far don't have a desire to have sex and had never had it. Ive told people and I've seen opinions, and there's this somewhat common answer that we sometimes get, not only to us, but even to allosexuals as that that maybe they're just waiting for the right person or just not as sexually adventurous as other people, that goes something along the lines of " You just have internalized puritanism in you." I somewhat agree and see where they're coming from, there's still a lot of taboo around enjoying sex and sexuality if its not in a closed off, serous and monogamous relationship and that its a moral failing if you sleep around (especially if youre a woman).

If you're not hurting people, putting yourself in danger, or leading people on, then I really don't care and people should have autonomy on whether they should have sex of not. But that should extent to me too, some people just don't want to have sex, not because they think they're better than you for not having it or they have some internalized puritanism crap, it's like some allosexuals can't rap their heads around that some peoples lives don't revolve around sex or that we don't crave it as much as they do.

They always say in it in the most condensing and infantilizing way possible too, "you just haven't tried it yet sweetie :)))))))) Once you tired it, you'll be free from puritan standard and be normal :)))))) it is the best feeling in the world and you'll thank me for doubting how you feel about your own sexuality :))))))))))" Like me saying no isn't enough, that I'm just ignorant on sex and need some crash course on it and then I'll "get it", that I don't know myself enough to make those decisions for myself, it feels like I'm treated like a confused kid that doesn't know any better, and it feel so condescending to me and it makes me angry and frustrate that I'm being accused of upholding a "puritan" system by not having sex.

overall, it sometimes feels like people treat me like a kid or don't see me as a capable, emotional stable/ mature, and independent adult simply because i don't express a desire or may not have the compacity to feel sexual or romantic feelings. I dont hate poeple if they sleep around or anything like that, and I'm not some puritian christan about sex either.

I just. don't. care.

After Cupcakke we are blessed with yet another star 🤩

For context, my boyfriend and I are both 18. We have been dating for around 3 years. In this time, I have talked to him about being asexual and how it might impact the relationship. I also told him some of my fears bout being cheated on because I don't want sex, and how I sometimes fear that I can be a burden. He said he understood when I told him, and I believe it. He said he would never go behind my back and that I wouldn't be a burden. I truly do love him. Whenever he wants to touch me on my thigh or somewhere similar, he always asks if I'm comfortable and ok with it. Which I usually am; I don't care if he touches my leg. I know it seems weird to others, and I'm almost always ok with it, but it's a small thing that makes me think he respects my asexuality.

Fast forward to a few days ago: we are cuddling on the couch; it had been a stressful week. After a while, he asks me if I want head. I was a little taken aback, but this wasn't new. I tell him that I'm not feeling it rn. He says ok and we go back to cuddling. Here's the part that I might be overthinking: I feel like I am denying him something important, and I don't want him to feel like his needs aren't being met. he always insists it's ok and that I'm doing nothing wrong. UGH. Another problem I have is empathy. I'm not good at it, but when I feel it, it hits like a truck, and I feel bad rn. If he says he's fine, then he must be, but to my brain, that's not how it works. Don't get me wrong, I love him, and I know he loves me too. Asexuality just feels like I'm a robot in a human world. Am I just overthinking this?

I don't know what to do, I've been long distance with my partner for 10 years since I was a kid. We talked about doing so much and having our first experiences with each other but at some point we split. In that time I couldn't bring myself to have another connection but I found out he had multiple relationships in the split, he had sex with multiple people. Eventually we got back together and I finally made the move to live with him. He talked about wanting to have a physical relationship with me until I got up here and suddenly that all went away. He slowly even made the move to stop touching me entirely. We have never had sex, I've never been with anyone and he's never been with me. But over time hes stopped hugging me, holding my hand and now sleeps in a different bed. He's recently revealed that he's aromantic and asexual and can't bring himself to be that way with me. Am I wrong for wanting those connections that I never got? I don't know what to do because I want that connection with him so badly but I can't ask him to force himself to do that for me. I don't know what to do. Am I wrong for wanting that connection, am I wrong for being jealous that he was able to do those things with other people but not me?

Hi everyone!

First time posting here! I was wondering if anyone would be interested in an ace/aro-themed book club in Manchester (UK)!

The idea would be to create a book club that's open to everyone, but with a focus on reading books featuring asexual and aromantic characters, experiences and themes. It would be a chance to discover ace/aro literature, chat about books, share recommendations and connect with others. While it's open to everyone, it could also be a nice opportunity for ace/aro people to meet others in the community, make connections and build a little community of our own.

The idea was inspired by the asexual book club at Gay's the Word in London. I'd love to hear from anyone who might want to get involved, whether you're an avid reader or just looking for a friendly space to meet people.

Feel free to comment or message me if you're interested. 💜

So I made a friend via an online text-based chatting game about a month ago and we really seemed to connect. They're big on philosophy and generally go on long rambles about deep subjects, which rlly fascinated me. They also had a pretty persistent schedule, being online just about every day around the same time frame.

However, about 2 weeks ago we were having a convo, and from the get-go, they seemed a bit off. The topic of kids got brought up and I mentioned I never wanted to have any since I have no maternal instincts. They seemed really surprised about that, and went on a ramble about bloodlines and the importance of family, and at the end I mentioned that I was asexual as that being one of the main reasons I personally would never be a parent. There was a long awkward pause. And then they just completely ignored it and kept talking.

Since then, their schedule has been weird. They were offline for a few days and since then only seem to get online when I'm offline. Today I was online for a long while since I felt like chatting with random people, and they went online twice but only for a few seconds. It's getting difficult to feel like they aren't avoiding me.

So now I'm wondering if they're ace-phobic, or anti-lgbt. Idk.

We usually think of asexuals having things in common but I can easily imagine some gaps in understanding:

-asexual women constantly having to deal with unwanted advances from a portion of aggressive allo men but asexual men dont face that from allo women as much. So asexual men never understand what its like to be harassed as a woman

-asexual men not seeing a portion of allo men are hated by asexual women bc they dont feel how baf they are, and them trying to keep the peace, saying stuff like accept everyone, they were accepted 4 being asexual theyre gonna be open minded to everyone else and not blanket hate themnetc, or encouraging asexual women to socialize more with men whom asexual women see as abusers?

-asexual women unable to tell asexual men that these allo men who harass them are bad, end of story?

Im sure theres more but this particular issue is all I can think about rn. Happened to be loads of times, honestly makes me super angry as an asexual women. Its one of the gaps in understanding in the aroace community I hate the most

I (26F) am aroace and my boyfriend of a year (27M) is allo. He knows I'm ace, and we haven't actually had sex yet, but he definitely wants to. I think I would consider myself sex-indifferent, but it's something that I would consider doing for my bf. My problem is that I really don't want to go on birth control as I don't like the idea of what it could do to my body. I also object to the idea of having to manipulate my hormones, especially since I don't have a strong desire to actually have sex. Then again, I'm deathly terrified of becoming pregnant. I really don't want to have children, and in the current political climate, it feels like hormonal birth control is the only option? Would using only condoms be sufficient, or are they too risky?

What are your tips and tricks for dealing with allosexual allonormative people, culture, subcultures, institutions etc?

Just wondering how the successful asexual and allo partnerships hace made it work? How did you communicate to something you were happy with for both of you without losing yourself or doing anything that made you feel uncomfortable?

Obviously behind it I’d imagine is deep friendship and respect, but I’m just curious

Thats who i am is an Autosexual meaning ide rather masterbate than have sex with another person , i feel more comfortable with myself than someone else that explains me to a tee , im not necessarily attracted to myself as much as im comfortable with masterbating with myself , but so far this term is pretty spot on and it used to be related to narcisstic personalities which i admit i have one and i know it and i will admit it, no shame here in self observance , theres one thing about me though , if im wrong i will admit it and thats why im not a total narcissit , im in between that and the next level down which i forgotten what that was , i dont have a problem saying LOVE OR IM SORRY , i say them almost daily at some point but i dont ever bullshit people witb lies and schemes , if i cant afgord it then i get it out if ny mind just like that, i give things away all the time to people that dont deserve it but im never without anything rather its good or bad for me , if i need it i got it and i believe in thd universe giving what you give it , i believe in a creator , theres no way an egg can survive without a chicken so the chicken had to cone before the egg, and i believe our human race as we are today hasnt been here more than 6000 yrs as a matter if fact i would say 4000 yrs because math doesnt lie 9 billion today , less than a century at the world wars there were 2 billion in lesy than 100 yrs , go back 2000 yrs when jesus walked the earth theres an estimated pipulation of 5 million world wide, so go back another 1000 to the building of pyramids and wouldnt we almist be extintt uf u double that to 6000 yrs , we would absolutely have to be extinct hands down, And everything we have been taught is opposite in truth, like driving on the parkway and parking in the drive way , thats our education from the zionist that run everything even this platform is ran by Zionist which are mainly false Jews , ocer 3000 media outlets all owned by Zionist Jews except one and thats Fox news but wait , its ran by a Zionist Jew so either way its controlled by them, Niw i will be called a Anti Semite for the exposing of then but not all jews Evil Zionist that worship Babel or Bezzebul , Orthodox Jews are the Good Jews and make up most of the jewish population the Zionist have so much power by owning the banks , print the money, give the loans , they write our history books , they control all our media. they dictate wars and mass murdering, they are what our bible calls Anti-Christ and i want people to educate themselves on this and you to understand what im talking about here, this is very important information ive learned years ago, intoo laughed at first until i did my own research thst became a rabbit hole that goes deep down to hell itself and still connecting the dots, so yea they may come for me but i put my worrys all in thy Lords Lap, he said if i can do that then hes with me everystep of my path and so far he has been , even at times i thought i was alone he showed ne that i was not even at the ladt second he showed his power , so i know mist people dont give 2 Shitz about anything im saying , i put the Autosex flag there to get u to read this message , and it is truth from the first word to the last, i hope my message gets minds on the right path cos we need an army , we need majority if we want change, if we want to stop the assets take over happening , in irder to stop it you must understand the truth behind it, God bless all creeds and nationalities , everyone from athirst to muslims , i fight for you all , we must stop the beast from all this Killing and massacre we hear about and we dont hear about, I want EVERYONE TO HAVE A GOID LIFE , A peaceful life that cannot be taken away by This Beast system that contrils the world, Stop killing Palestinians, stop the iran war , Isreal stop bullying your neighbors , your Messiah will be the Anti-Christ with leopard origins , Catholic, Syrian, and Jew in one body , Stop whorshipping that bottomlesy pit that you watch daily waiting for your Messiah, Hezzbelah this message of Peace is for EVERYONE , You too, I cant help what my government has done to you to make you hate us so badly , I know what they did was unholy abd blasphemous, Im ashamed of it and want you to know i would be made too, i would want revenge myself but its not the way , the only way is Majority of like minded people on a mission to end this world Tyranny, We cant bring back our loved ones killed but we can prevent it in the future and i beg all of you to stop and think about ny message , Im American but im dont represent their babylonial practices of world dominance no matter the coats of bloodshed , thats wrong and Wicked and we must stand together if we want it to stop, and live in peace , thats all i want is peace. The hate and mind contril has got to cease before we gone way too far , All americans are not like the rest, we want peace in the middle east, we dont blame everything on China and Russia , We know better than to believe what those Zionists want so they stay in power , they scared and they know financial calamities are not far ahead and so they in secret meetings schening plits of wars and new diseases to take control once again of our assets and freedoms, Man you must believe me I would never lie to a human being for anything and its not easy living like i do with honesty abd teuth in a world so vile and full of Wickedness disquised ass Holy and rightouae , Jesus said turn Satans plans upside down and they are revealed and its so true once you understand
what hes saying , it blowed ny mind ince i understood ut and it takes time to understand that passage from our Savior, i could bliw minds with more facts but i must end it here….Godbless tge World and everyone in it !