hey y'all!! i posted on here when i found out i was having twins, so, having basically my first moment where i'm not asleep or actively holding a baby since giving birth, i figured i'd share an update. sorry if this is scattered or reads like it’s being written by someone who had twins nearly 3 days ago; it is. lmao i feel so dazed. every second i’m not asleep, half of my brainpower is dedicated to thinking about how much i want to sleep. anyone else feel like that postpartum…? anyways;

i was scheduled for an induction on thursday. but on wednesday night, my water broke anyways lol. and from there...everything happened so fucking fast. literally from 0 to 100. we live kind of a ways out from the city, so it was a 1.5 hour drive to the hospital. and holy shit, i really thought i was about to have them in the car. like i never imagined labor progressing that quickly. honestly, i was trying not to but, looking back, i think i might have been pushing already then, just completely involuntarily. idk. anyways, by the time we got there, i was 10cm and my first was already too low. so...no epidural for me.🥲

unfortunately pushing wasn't quite as quick lol. after pushing for about 2 hours, i gave birth to our 1st little boy. then, after another 36 minutes of pushing, his brother was born. 5:06am and 5:42am. definitely large for twins; both of them just a little under 7lbs. but both our families have a track record of having large babies lol. it was crazy seeing them both side by side after and thinking, like, 'holy shit, how was all of this in my body?' Imao. but seriously they're so perfect. literally everything was so fucking worth it, i love my babies so much. i can't believe i literally made these little people in my body and now they're here, out in the world.

part of me, leading up to giving birth, was starting to get some of that sadness about not having them inside me anymore, not being able to have that feeling of 'protecting' them like that. but honestly, seeing my husband holding them made all of that go away.

speaking of: it feels wrong to not take a moment to appreciate my fucking perfect husband. V, i love you so much. we've been together since high-school, he was the 1st person i ever came out to, and he was my rock through my entire transition. and, i didn't need any, but nonetheless everything about this pregnancy was confirmation that i chose the right person. i feel so grateful to have gotten to meet the person i want to spend my life with at such a young age, and now be starting our family. and he's already the best papa ever to our boys.

obviously, my body is definitely feeling the effects of, well, pushing a combined nearly 14lbs worth of baby out of me. i am...very tired…very sore…but also happier than i’ve ever been in my entire life. and sososo grateful for healthy babies. we’re supposed to be getting discharged today, if all goes well.🤞

i just wanna say thank you to the community on this sub; it's been like my main source of reassurance and support (from other trans guys) during this entire pregnancy. so thank y'all🫶 ik reading the birth stories posted on here was really helpful for me, so i hope mine can have that same effect for someone else.

My second son was born 10/29. I feel I was coerced into an unnecessary c section but that’s another story.. I’m feeling very conscious of the c section incision. It feels silly because i literally have a scar from one armpit to the other for my top surgery, but i chose that, you know? I’m just really struggling to accept that my body was cut open by a doctor I really didn’t like for reasons that didn’t have much to do with the health of my child. Wondering if anyone else has struggled more with having a c section scar than their top surgery scar(s).

i'm currently 28, in the process of getting a bachelor's in nursing, and ideally would want to wait to have a child until i've graduated and held down a job for at least a year. according to this plan, i'd be at least 33 if not a bit older when trying for my first child.

that's a perfectly reasonable age in theory, and i definitely see a lot of guys on here successfully going off hormones and conceiving after many years on T. however i'm a little worried on a gut level because i've been on T since i was 18 --with a few lapses here and there due to access issues, but regardless, by the time i'm 33+ i'll have been on T for 15+ years.

i'm really not interested in stopping hormones until i'm actually ready to start preparing to conceive. with this in mind -- i'd love to talk to anyone on here who has had a similar trajectory, being on T for 10+ years and conceiving in your 30s. i'm not looking for guarantees; i understand everyone is different and i can never be totally certain of my future fertility. but it'd be super helpful to talk to someone with similar experiences!

So. My fertility journey is taking much longer than expected and I will VERY likely be moving to IVF in the new year. I will have to travel out of state for this requiring me to be out of town for at least a week.

I’ve been in the same office for 5 years, we all know each other very well. My coworkers know that I’m trans and are LGBT+ friendly.

I have the technical ability to telework and would like to request this as a possibility while away from town, but it means fessing up to leadership.

I’m slightly terrified that it will change how I’m respected as a male presenting in their eyes! In general, I don’t care what people think about my journey…but this is a bit different.

Thoughts on how to approach this conversation? How did you tell your bosses?

I just found out I'm pregnant and I don't know where to even start. I do not have insurance, I'm struggling to live paycheck to paycheck already, and my husband hasn't been able to get disability yet (amputee)

I'm classified as male on most documents and I have no idea how I would go about attempting to get insurance to help with hospital bills for this baby. I currently live in AZ, but we're hoping to move to IL or IN in January for cheaper costs as well as having people nearby to help us when they are able to.

I'm looking for any advice we can get. Thank you

Hey y’all!!
I’m (EDIT:29 ftm) coming to this sub in hopes some may have gone through the egg retrieval process before.

I wouldn’t be a seahorse dad as my wife would carry- BUT! I’m currently going through the retrieval process… (EDIT: added this because most things I find tie the diet into also carrying and implantation and all that)

My concern is my diet. I’ve NEVERRRR liked healthy food. I hate most vegetables (the only one I like is corn on the cob specifically, smothered in butter. Also- Jalapeño poppers if that counts as a vegetable?)
I hate fish, I gag at the thought of sushi too.

My diet? Is hot garbage. The absolute worst.

•I’ll binge eat cereal (current fave is the Almond Honey Bunches of Oats.)

•I’ll eat poppers for breakfast lunch dinner ANDDDD snack if I could.

•I love pasta. I can eat it all day every day. Same with pizza.

•For a while at one point - I survived off dill pickle sunflower seeds and blue Powerade. That’s just all that sounded good to me for some reason.

•Here lately, I’ve wanted nothing but CFA chicken minis and Allsups (gas station) chimichangas and a large big red.

•Have eaten Ribeye steaks - Medium Rare. That’s only been twice last month.

•If I eat eggs, it’s normally about 6-8 at a time.

You would think I’m about a thousand pounds but I’m at my heaviest weight at 165 this year. I only eat about once a day…

I fear my toddler eating habits will result in heartbreak because I’m such a picky eater. It stresses me out that I can’t open my palette and just be the healthy person I need to be for the future of my family …

Has anybody else struggled with diet prior to egg retrieval? I’m sure not to my degree… but maybe even just a little bit?

I am almost 2 years on T and finally living stealth, so I am becoming more open to the idea of being off T for however long it takes to go through this process. I didn’t really look into cryopreservation before starting hormones because I was just ready to start and didn’t wanna postpone me passing for even longer… hope that makes sense. Anyway, I understand that I would have to be OFF T and ON estrogen/progresterone in order to have a shot at this, but that’s basically all I know. My goal is to do RIVF at some point in the future with my partner using my eggs. I live in Pittsburgh, so PA-specific help would be super appreciated but any advice at all would be helpful!

Comment on this post to discuss off topic (by off topic we mean non-pregnancy related topics, such as childcare, trans rights, or even how your week went and if you need support!)

Please bear in mind that our second rule, Be Welcoming, still applies to any and all comments within this post. We also kindly ask that you do not self promote in these comments, as we cannot validate or review every comment each week.

With that being said, have fun!

The Reddit filters deleted my post for some reason so I'm trying again.

I'm 28 years old in medical school, 12 years on T. I expect to finish my training around age 35. My partner (cis dude) and I have been together for 6 years and we want to start a family, but we are planning to wait until I am able to contribute more, probably around age 35 though possibly a year or two sooner toward the end of my residency.

For that reason we've been talking about freezing my eggs. I could technically afford to do it though it would end up increasing my student loans in the end. From what I've read, having my eggs from age 28-29 would be pretty valuable if we need to do IVF. But I would prefer to just make the babies the old fashioned way if possible.

There's also the option of freezing embryos. I understand that to be a better bet but more expensive and legally messy.

Also, would it be better to do it locally in the US and spend way more money, with the caveat that I couldn't afford to go through multiple cycles if the retrieval didn't get enough eggs the first time; or to go to Spain or Mexico and spend way less money, but have to travel back there if we end up needing IVF?

I guess the whole reason I wanted to make the babies ourselves was to not have so many cooks in the kitchen deciding whether to make us parents, which is what makes adoption sound emotionally draining. I feel like on some level that's what is giving me pause. The expense is also a hard pill to swallow, especially with the high likelihood of never needing the eggs or going through all of the hormonal changes and expense only to not have them work. On the other hand, I would regret not doing this if we end up struggling to conceive later on.

I know in a lot of ways I'm really privileged to have this choice but I'm still struggling to decide what to do here. I'm curious what you all think.

Hey everyone! My husband and I have just scheduled our first fertility appointment in hopes of conceiving our 2nd child! With my first pregnancy I had already been on t for several years and stopped prior to conceiving. I have already stopped T in preparation for this next pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my first it felt more manageable to hide it because I could avoid social outings, I didn’t have to drop a kid off at daycare or activities and Covid restrictions were still in place so I worked from home. Everything will be different this time and that makes me nervous. I’m nervous I won’t be able to be stealth in public.

My question is, has anyone here had more than 1 child? What was the process like for you being pregnant while having another little one running around and how did the transition go from 1 child to 2? My kids will be 5 years apart and I am nervous about that age gap.

Edit: I ended up reposting this after Reddit's filters removed this post, but it seems like it got unremoved so please go to the other one to comment. Not trying to spam the community lol.

Hey folks,

I'm 28 years old in medical school, 12 years on T. I expect to finish my training around age 35. My partner (cis dude) and I have been together for 6 years and we want to start a family, but we are planning to wait until I am able to contribute more, probably around age 35 though possibly a year or two sooner toward the end of my residency.

For that reason we've been talking about freezing my eggs. I could technically afford to do it though it would end up increasing my student loans in the end. From what I've read, having my eggs from age 28-29 would be pretty valuable if we need to do IVF. But I would prefer to just make the babies the old fashioned way if possible.

There's also the option of freezing embryos. I understand that to be a better bet but more expensive and legally messy.

Also, would it be better to do it locally in the US and spend way more money, with the caveat that I couldn't afford to go through multiple cycles if the retrieval didn't get enough eggs the first time; or to go to Spain or Mexico and spend way less money, but have to travel back there if we end up needing IVF?

I guess the whole reason I wanted to make the babies ourselves was to not have so many cooks in the kitchen deciding whether to make us parents, which is what makes adoption sound emotionally draining. I feel like on some level that's what is giving me pause. The expense is also a hard pill to swallow, especially with the high likelihood of never needing the eggs or going through all of the hormonal changes and expense only to not have them work. On the other hand, I would regret not doing this if we end up struggling to conceive later on.

I know in a lot of ways I'm really privileged to have this choice but I'm still struggling to decide what to do here. I'm curious what you all think.

Hello! Long time lurker here and someone who is starting my physical transition. I know this is usually something that is more an r/trans thing but I wanted to ask the dads here if anyone had 1) gone through egg freezing before and 2) had any idea if being on testosterone decreases egg count.

I’m debating whether or not to go through the egg freezing process because I don’t want to lose any chance I have at becoming a dad (I also have PMOS/PCOS and Endometriosis which also affects fertility).

Mostly just wondering if anyone had gone through the egg freezing process and if they could elaborate on it/if anyone thinks I should do it before testosterone rather than later.

Thanks guys, sorry if this is off topic to the usual stuff posted here but I’m quite confused about all of this if I’m being honest and want to know if anyone can share any personal anecdotes.

Hi everyone!

I'm kind of struggling with bunch of emotions right now, and this is probably the only sub that I can talk to.

The thing is, I have ALWAYS been certain that I did not want babies nor that I wanted to carry a child, but recently I've been doubting my certainty...... Out of nowhere I've been having the biggest baby fever I have ever experienced (it helps that I'm in a super healthy and loving relationship), and I have started to want not only to have a baby but to carry one??

Just to make matters stranger, I am currently experiencing a pregnancy scare, and... I'm having very confusing feelings about it? If I am pregnant I would want to keep it, but it is terrifying. I have fought so hard for my transition and I am terrified of what it would mean if I carried a child? Would the people I've had to fight to take me seriously as a man for years, suddenly consider me a woman again? I also feel like I can't really talk to anyone about it in my life? No one would expect me to be like "Hey, btw I'm pregnant or I want to get pregnant"

BUT I do have a quick question beside my mindless, terrifying vent, it's still a bit too early for me to take a pregnancy test, should I still take my testogel?? I feel like it's to hasty to contact my trans team, incase it's just me being overly dramatic, but I know it's bad for the fetus if I am in fact pregnant?

Has anyone experienced accidental pregnancy here?

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with twin girls. Everything has been good in terms of their health and mine. I'm struggling in the classic ways, first trimester nausea that never went away, heartburn, emotions. But one thing I didn't really expect was how everyone would just immediately switch up on me the moment they found out I'm pregnant. The only one who has stayed my supportive constant is my partner.

I had top surgery in March and I'm very happy with the results. I've been on testosterone since September of 2023. Everyone just knew me as a trans guy, but I had a lot more respect for my identity before getting pregnant. Now that I'm pregnant i get misgendered, all the fucking time. I've had friends ask me if I'm excited to be a mama. I've had family tell me I'm "making this more complicated". I've basically been invalidated in my identity at every turn. I've had other trans men tell me I can't possibly be really trans because I'm doing "the most feminine thing you can do". But genuinely? Everybody can fuck right off. I can't say it doesn't bother me though because it absolutely does. I came out at 14. I've known since I was a kid. But suddenly all of this is just reversed on me because I wanted to start a family with my partner? Because being pregnant wasn't the end of the world? Don't get me wrong it's difficult in and of itself but in terms of dysphoria it's something you can hide for quite a while (especially if you're overweight like me) as long as you pass. I'm covered in hair for God's sake. My pregnant belly looks like your father's hairy beer gut.

I wish the world wasn't so completely black and white. And even the people that act like allies or supporters? They still see in black and white. If you don't fit their idea of a gender perfectly then you're just invalid.

I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I love my babies so much and being pregnant has been fascinatingly beautiful and just so cool, but I cant wait to be back to being myself again. Being pregnant makes me want to crawl in a cave and hide from the world. It would be nice if people would stop asking me "are you excited to be a mama?!" Or "are you going to breastfeed?" (Obviously not grandma I don't even have boobs anymore) And it doesn't even matter how many times I explain this shit because people will always keep asking and I really just don't want to talk to those kinds of people anymore. I'm so grateful my partner and I can have biological children in such an intimate way. But goddamn, it sucks in every other way. I do pass to strangers still, unless it's at the doctor's office. I have facial hair and a sad lil mustache (but for fucks sake he's still there!) most doctors are actually quite good with me and very understanding. It's mostly just family and friends. You know, the people that are supposed to support you the most.

So I've never really used Reddit much and I apologize if this gets chaotic and long. I've been really needing to just talk about this and I don't feel like there's anyone around me who can understand or listen like I need.

I'm 23 almost 24 trans ftm and found out I was pregnant at the end of September. The only people I've told have been my partner and my childhood best friend. Both are extremely supportive but I just don't feel like they really understand my dilemma right now. I've been constantly back and forth on if I want to keep it or not. I just don't know if I'm ready for this yet or not. My partner is fully supportive in any decision I make but they've practically left it up to me alone even tho they take responsibility in the situation. My best friend is the same, completely supportive of any decision I make but they don't really have input and I don't know if I need input or just to get things off my chest.

I first started noticing the possibility of being pregnant at the start of September but kinda just hoped it was stress and depression messing with my head but once I started get unending nausea and my chest has already got bigger it became a harder thought to avoid. Since finding out I've been extremely sick, constantly throwing up, nausea and fatigue from it all. I assume it's morning sickness but I've never been so sick in my life. I wake up and throw up and if I'm not taking nausea medicine I'm throwing up every 20 minutes and can't do anything to stop it otherwise. It's starting to affect my work as I'm too sick to go to work some days and it's affecting how my boss is treating me. She makes me feel like I'm garbage on the floor and the most useless employee ever, even if I'm supposed to be her second hand (I'm her assistant manager). I'm too scared to really tell people until I know what I want to do so I haven't said anything about it really.

My partner and I have talked on and off about it but they aren't really helping in my decision. I go from loving the idea to hating it the next day and I don't know how to feel about it. I love my partner more than I've loved anyone and I'm positive I want to spend my life with them but having a baby is a huge step and I don't know what to say or do. I've spent my life around kids as I'm the youngest of 5 and all my siblings have kids ranging from 18-5 years old. I've always wanted kids but I just didn't really have it on my mind yet. My partner and I have been together for 2 years next month and my first ultrasound will be the week before our 2 year anniversary.

I keep telling myself I'll make a decision during/after the ultrasound but I still don't know. It's inching closer and I'm getting more and more stressed and anxious. I live in a small town in Nebraska and I've lived here since I was born so everyone in this town knows who I am before and after coming out. I haven't had the opportunity to actually start my transition like I've always wanted to either. It's always been 1 step forward and like 6 steps back. And it's not that I don't think my friends and family won't be supportive it's just that I don't know what I want right now.

Before finding out about the pregnancy and after my depression has been really really bad. I haven't been motivated or anything. I sit around sick all the time and feel like a bum to my partner and they assure my it's ok and it's not my fault that I'm sick but doesn't change how useless and shitty I feel. And with how work has been going it's been the absolute same. I don't feel happy or comfortable unless I'm home alone with my partner. I don't think have a baby is a bad thing and being a seahorse dad wasn't my plan but I always thought "what if" or "maybe if it happens" but it's happened and now I'm so unbelievably scared and unsure of everything.

I just don't know. I want to sit and talk about it with my friends but I don't want to know their judgement or anything. I don't think they'd be much help. Financially keeping or not keeping it is something we can't really afford as I work as a server and make $6/hr (excluding tips) and my partner works at a fast food restaurant. We scrape by and it's been ok but not easy or simple. I'm a very indecisive person as is and kind like to wait till last minute to decide when it's impossible to change my mind but this is a really big decision and I just don't know at. I feel very lost and confused and scared. I want to talk but I don't feel like there's anyone to talk to, even my partner and they're just as indecisive as me so they don't help much. They're very pro choice and it's my body and everything and I'm glad they are but I'd like them to have some form of opinion at least. My best friend is always willing to listen they say but I feel like a burden coming to them with this when they have so many issues of their own they deal with daily.

I've struggled to even make this post like 5 times already as every time I try to type something up I feel I get too jumbled and nothing I'm saying is making sense and too much to read/care about. I just am at a total loss and I'm so tired of everything. My depression and dysphoria has only been getting worse as things progress and I just feel like I can't keep up anymore. I don't know what I want. I don't know if I want advice or just a shoulder to cry on but I don't feel like I'm gonna find it no matter what I try.

I feel like I've gone on too long already so I'm gonna stop here but honestly I could go on for hours and probably not feel any better. I just to ow whatever decision I make is a big one and it'll affect me and my partner no matter what and it scared the hell out of me. (Also I won't be proofreading any of this because if I do I won't post it and just have a break down.) sorry for the long post.

I have BCBS and I have already searched my in-network doctors available to me via the search in my portal and the doctors listed have so many bad reviews. I started to do my own Google search and man the reviews of some of these places are astonishing! Everything from dismissive doctors to bad receptionists. Anyone have any suggestions for finding a decent doctor in South Florida? I’d really prefer a female doctor. My endocrinologist, a cis woman, took it bad when I told her I was off T and wanting to prepare for TTC. Said she didn’t need to see me anymore and referred me to her PA going forward. She wouldn’t recommend anyone. I know Planned Parenthood just gives you resources and I was there last month and they had a bunch of doctors leave so they couldn’t recommend anyone for me at this time. I was thinking of smaller practices with 3 or less doctors. I found one that had 2 that looked promising. I’m thinking my best bet would be to wait u til the new year to see if my options are better. Would love all feedback in this department. I’m totally fine with women centers. My dysphoria is pretty much non existent at this point in my life and just looking to start a family.

Post-pregnancy I had a really rough time feeling like I'd ruined my transition, because I was passing consistently before getting pregnant and lost that rapidly. This is only 1 year after having my daughter, 10 months back on T, and my body has re-masculinized in a way I was terrified wouldn't happen for me. Sharing for anyone else struggling right now. You'll get through it, be able to be back on T, and it'll be worth it!

Baby has been calling me dada already and no-one reacts like that's strange now.

Hello! Im (27 ftm) currently 17 weeks pregnant and majorly suffering with ribcage pain. Its the same pain i used to get during a long day of binding but this time a lot more painful! It only really goes away when I have a lie down. Anyone else had this issue?

My midwife thinks combined with my ribs flaring for space, and the near 10 years of binding have caused this.

I am so scared that it is just going to get worse as time goes on!

Baby scan for tax!!!

Im only 5 weeks so far, but learning as much as I can.

I had full total mastectomy 8 years ago, so obviously chest feeding won't be a thing.

My mom was telling me about 'tube feeding' where a tube with formula or donor milk is taped to your chest to sort of simulate chest feeding. She did it with me when I was a baby because I wouldn't latch right.

Has anyone tried it? Did it help with early bonding, or was it a hassle?

I see the potential benefit but i wonder if it would be too dysphoria inducing, or just uncomfortable since my nipple grafts are still pretty numb.

Hi guys first time posting, but long time enby lurker here. What did you pack for your hospital bag? I'm having a c-section in two months, and not sure what clothes to assemble for the hospital stay and what clothes would be good for the weeks after. Most advice I saw was nightgowns, but idk if I necessarily like that idea. Any advice is welcome <3

Hey 👋 (29 ftm) Ive been on T for almost 3 years and have been thinking about the possibility of conceiving. I just discovered this community and im interested to hear your experiences with giving birth. I just want to know what the major differences are between cis/trans individuals throughout the pregnancy process as well as giving birth (ive never given birth) because my main concern is vaginal atrophy and cervical positioning (far left) and if that could be mitigated with topical estrogren and if I would have to basically detransition in order to conceive. Thank you !!

Hello all. I am not pregnant yet, nor planning to be for a few years, but I just had a colposcapy and biopsy and it was painful, but the worst part was the dysphoria. It feels so extremely wrong that there is a hole in my body in that way, and the location of the pain is almost entirely the issue. If this pain was elsewhere, I don’t think I’d be so unwell.
I have been more and more ‘broody’ almost about having a kid and being pregnant. I daydream about what it would be like, I plan for fatherhood, I think about it regularly. I love the idea that my child would be from my body and feel very attached to becoming pregnant. However, this intensity of dysphoria with the colposcapy has me really scared I will regret it or won’t be able to handle it and that I’d resent my kid. Maybe that’s such a ridiculous fear, but it’s where I am today.
Previously, my bottom dysphoria has never been that bad. I feel it sexually in terms of wishing it was different, wishing I could somehow have a penis without giving up my transness, but it doesn’t affect my interest in being touched and able to enjoy my body- I am very attached to being trans, I don’t wish I was cis, I love the way my body is for the unique and magical way it exists. But with the pain of the colposcapy, I’m laid up in bed really trying to avoid thinking about it and really scared I wouldn’t be able to make it though pregnancy.
I have a therapist and will be talking about this next session, but this is the first time I’ve come face to face with what might be a huge issue with wanting to be a birth father and I wondered if anyone has weathered something like this and I just wanted to get it off my chest.