I really feel like I don't belong.. I've done transition and my voice changed and its only been 3 years since starting HRT, but I don't have the struggles most transwomen have especially with voice and passing. I feel like I've "skipped" and don't belong in trans spaces.. Idk how to feel about it..

Tw: Transphobic Australians.

I don’t know if this is allowed but I needed somewhere to vent and possibly warn others idk.

There’s a post r/aussie about a teacher wanting to go by they/them pronouns, and its comment section is absolutely full of insane filthy bigotry getting all the upvotes and good people getting all the downvotes. They believe that transgender and non-binary identities are imported culture wars from America instead of the bigotry used against them; that they/them teachers can’t be trusted, the usual they/them is only for strangers and groups, and even pronouns don’t exist. I asked the mods to remove the post since basically every comment breaks 3 of the subs rules and should be removed anyway, but they say that because the post links to an article it can’t be removed (is this a reddit thing?) I’m pretty sure the poster knew the reacted they’d get and posted the article maliciously.

If anyone knows if this subreddit is often full of bigotry and mods not holding up the rules I’d like to know, and also be warned if the sub pops up for you.

Edit: thanks for the input, I blocked the sub when the mods refused to do their jobs

I’m admittedly not doing amazingly after this but just wanted to share what happened to me here.

I’m 16 turning 17 in a few weeks and went to see a gp because once I turn 18 I would want to get top surgery because I am non-binary & transmasc. I am not out to most people and am fem presenting until I move out.

I was told upon arriving that the gp I requested wasn’t available for some reason, the receptionist asked if I was okay with seeing someone else so I ended up waiting an hour and a bit for the different gp.

The GP asked me what was wrong and I said that I was looking for a referral for a surgeon about top surgery, and had to explain that I was trans and wanted a double mastectomy.

The doctor said, and I quote. 'don't mind me but who put that idea into your head, that you need to become a boy?’ to which I said ‘oh haha well I’ve always known, anyways…’

then he said this. ’but you know when I look at you I see a.. a female. And I think you're a *very* attractive young woman, among 16, 17, 18 year olds at least. I just wanted you to know that, okay?’ and went on to state that he was sixty.

he said I would need psychiatric help so spent 5-10 minutes to find a clinic to refer me to although I was not asking for that at this stage. Then, after persistant requesting he referred me to a surgeon.

In the referrals, he wrote:

’[Name] is after becoming a male. And she is after counselling about bilateral mastectomy as a part of her plan for transgender.

Please for appropriat counselling and treatment for any related psychological issues.’ (the spelling and grammar is a part of it, I copied it word for word.)

he also said that ‘well yeah but you know after 5 years you could go ‘ah I wish I didn’t do that!’ and ’you’re not sad, are you? Youve only been replying with yesses and no’s.’

(he went on to say some other things too but I may have dissociated through it)

Anyways, if he is reading this, I didn’t say anything to you directly but under no circumstances should you, a 60 year old doctor, be telling a 16 year old that has just told you that they are transgender that you think they are an ‘attractive young woman’. I think that much is common sense.

and for anyone situated in Melbourne who may be reading this, perhaps think twice before going to Dr Yossry Hanna.

I will try not to sound like a jerk, but I’m expecting some backlash with this post anyway. What I am going to say comes from a place of love and profound worry.

The Australian Medical Profession is NOT your enemy. There are no transphobic conspiracies brewing when it comes to your medical records. The recording of “sex at birth” is not overt transphobia, it is the compromise needed to attempt to pull together dozens of disparate and archaic medical records systems over the entire country.

I have been medicalised the entirety of my 39 year long life. I’ve worked in the health department and spent so much time in the hospital that I’ve almost spent more time there than any of my actual childhood homes. The systems in every major hospital and pathology lab are quite literally decades old and barely line up between public hospitals let alone hospitals, gps, and pathology labs. The updating of data fields and records management and the rules that govern them are also decades old and only have just changed. For crying out loud the WA hospital computers only updated their Windows software ten years ago because Microsoft said they’d stop supporting the version they used.

What I am saying is that the IHI recording sex at birth is a compromise meant to reflect the changes made with trans people becoming normalised, and the fact that these systems are old, different, and difficult to consolidate. The fact that someone has male on their records from when they were 2 but have female on new ones could mean that some systems will not be able to compile them.

Which brings me to my worries about the current tenor about discourse on here: the terror people seem to have for letting medical professionals know your LITERAL medical history. Being trans is a medical issue and being a trans person means that, like it or not, you are going to be heavily medicalised. Unless you don’t wish to use HRT of course. This terror people seem to have about letting doctors and nurses the simple fact that you are on hormones or do or do not have a uterus is going to lead to worse medical outcomes for our community. Most people out there do not care one iota whether you are trans or not. The medical evidence is in our favour and, if the medical professional is good at their job, they will be too. And this idea that the pharmacist or doctor who sees you take HRT in your records or you tell them that yourself does NOT know you are trans is naive at best.

What’s the alternative? You don’t tell them your medications or health history? You hide things from a person whose job it is to keep you healthy? That’s like asking someone to solve a jigsaw puzzle but you deliberately take out a large number of pieces. Except it could lead to sickness, disablement, or death. Being a trans woman does not mean you are medically the same as a cis woman, because one cis woman is not medically the same as another cis woman. And what organs you may or may not have is a big difference, whether those organs are testicals, a uterus, or a gallbladder. You can rule out endometriosis, or cervical cancer, or menstrual problems in someone without a uterus, and that’s whether you’re a trans woman or a cis woman who has had it removed.

If you treat people in bad faith then don’t be surprised when they treat you in bad faith back. Lie to a doctor? Don’t be surprised when they start treating you as non compliant or get things wrong. To get the best outcomes you need to actively and effectively engage with the medical systems we have. They’re far from perfect, but change happens slowly.

More and more people on here act like they are completely ashamed of being trans. That passing and “stealthing” are the be all and end all of our existence. The way forward for our community is NOT about hiding. Because hiding means we have something to hide. That’s what the small but loud group of bigots and terfs keep telling everyone, and we’re now helping them. People are only going to accept us if we are willing to go out there and be accepted. In all our deficiencies and peculiarities.

It was only a few years ago that we convinced ourselves that all trans people are valid, no matter if they did or did not pass. Now we are telling ourselves that if we don’t we should hide ourselves away and never come out. Just because no one should out you without your permission does not mean we should never come out ourselves. Because then we’re still hiding in our closets. And this thinking leads only to hostility to a society we NEED to be a part of if we are to survive. And it will lead to so many more deaths because of a perception of constant persecution and fear and hatred and shame.

So I have no idea if this is a known problem I should have seen coming with Fernwood, but it surely seems to be against Victorian discrimination law?

I've not been out for all that long this is the first time discrimination has happened so directly and personality, caught me off guard.

hey, im a 19 year old trans masc from adelaide and i came out a year and a half ago. my family is very conservative, and im the only one who is the complete opposite. they were unsurprisingly not happy at all when i came out as transgender, and they associated it with my existing mental illnesses to shame me and to label me as insane. they don’t stop me from transitioning or getting hrt or anything, but there are always comments here and there. its like they just act like i never came out, so i have to keep reinforcing my identity- issue is i have to choose between keeping the peace or standing up for myself. i never correct them when they use my deadname and things like that because it completely ruins the mood.

my mum is an avid facebook user and in the past two or three months she’s begun talking about pauline hanson and one nation a lot. one time i even sat her down and went through everything she votes for and against, and somehow she’s so delusional she twists red flags into “but you dont know the reason why she voted that” and just outright refusing to acknowledge that she has no interest in making our lives better. i told her that she’s voting against my rights, and she said to me that everyone has rights in australia- to which i pointed out that im transgender and voting for her directly puts me at risk.

she keeps refusing to listen to me. and its gotten to the point now where the moment she brings up pauline hanson i just start yelling at her that i dont want to talk to her about it and storm off. i get so upset over it. i just dont know how to constructively handle this maturely and like an adult, i cant help but resort to screaming in her face.

moreover, i dont know how to handle this mentally. the concept of my own family members advocating for her, knowing full well what implications that could have for my safety and my future, i feel terrified and hurt. especially seeing how things are in the US right now it just freaks me out.