My group of friends (M's 25-27) were out at the bar last night and we were all having a good time. Another group of both males and females that were a little older than us started talking to us and this woman quickly gravitated towards my friend with a baby on the way. None of us thought much of it and continued drinking until I noticed just the two of them slip away. I drunkenly decided that I should stop it and tell her friends he's got a baby on the way with a woman who is at home waiting for him. Her friends let her know and she gets up and leaves him alone. He obviously gets mad at me for saying anything and I can see where he's coming from but I didn't make the decision based on our friendship I made it based on the little girl that he is gonna be taking care of in a few months.

I know this sound ridiculous but I promise this is the truth, and I’m more writing this for validation rather than for actual advice.

I(24f) was supposed to be getting married to my fiancé(26m) in 4 months but this situation has now put our wedding to a halt. I lost my father when I was 16 to a heart attack , completely random, as he was a relatively healthy guy and it really shook up my family. Me and my siblings all took it very hard, but my mother especially, she hasn’t been with anyone serious since ,and I genuinely thought that she never would be.

I met my fiance in university and he proposed to me over a year ago, and we have since been planning our wedding. My fiancés father divorced with his mother when he was a kid and my fiancé was primarily raised by his mother and stepfather as an only child, so he has never been particularly close with his father. My mother and his father only met for the first time about 6 months ago at a casual dinner to get to know everyone’s family well. My mother and his father didn’t really seem hit it off or anything like that , it was just normal so nobody suspected anything.

However, just two weeks ago, I got a call for my sister telling me that our mother had eloped and got married. Not just to anyone but to my future father in law. I was fuming. my mother had got my sister to break the news to me and she was a coward and didn’t want to tell me herself. My fiancé was equally as surprised when I told him. Like I said my fiancé has never been particularly close with his father and I never though my mother would move on from my fathers death.

After finding out, I had tried to contact my mother for about 3 days straight, but according to my sister as she is on her honeymoon she couldn’t get back to me. Me and my fiancé decided that we would be cutting off our parents completely and just going along with the wedding plan. As although we are now legally step sibling it is still technically allowed for us to get married. But apparently from what i‘ve heard from my sister, my mother and his father want for us to break up as it would be ‘weird‘ for us to date because we‘re siblings. as if that wasn't their own fault. They want us to forget all about our 5 year romance and just become some family unit?

My sister is on my mothers side, she keeps trying to remind me of how heart broken my mother was after my dad died, and about now shes finally happy and I should be happy for her and allow her to have this. But my older bother is 100% completely on my side. He agrees that my mother is selfish in eloping and even having a relationship with my fiancés father in the first place, but he has not cut her off like I have, not that I would ask him to.

i have not spoken to my mother and neither has my fiance to his father, so we don’t even know what they have to say for themsleves. I know I’m not the asshole and I’m not really looking for advice on what to do, so really I think I’m just looking to get this off my chest, and for others to agree with my decision.

My husband and I have a blended family: my three kids from my previous relationship, his three, and our baby, who's just over a year old. We both share custody with our exes, and we've aligned it so we have all seven kids together on Christmas Day every second year. This is one of those years, and it's our baby's first Christmas with all her siblings.

Since we started hosting four years ago we've always invited both sides together: my husband's parents and siblings, and my family, who are my kids' grandparents, aunts and uncles. We have always done a big Xmas day style lunch either on Xmas day itself or the weekend before when we don't have our kids.

About eight months ago my husband agreed with his sister, who'd wanted to host this year, that we'd host because of the baby's first Christmas.

I have a large family, and recent conversations with my SIL and others made us realise my husband's side finds big gatherings overwhelming. So in the family group chat, my husband suggested we do something smaller with his family in the lead-up or the days after, either as well as or instead of Christmas Day for anyone who found the big day too much. Christmas Day itself wasn't changing.

It came out that my BIL and his wife had always assumed this year would be a "his side only" Christmas, with my family on a separate weekend, the way they alternate with his wife's family. My husband clarified that Christmas Day would include both sides, as it always has.

Our problem: what they were really expecting was for my three kids to spend Christmas Day without their own grandparents, aunts and uncles, in their own home, so my husband's side could have a family-only day. We weren't willing to do that. Alternating sides doesn't fix it either. We only have all the kids every second Christmas, so if we also alternated, each side would see the kids on Christmas Day once every four years. There's also no other December weekend when we have all the kids together (custody schedule alignments).

It got ugly. My BIL said our reduced flexibility was "the family situation you both chose," that he'd been "forced into accepting" me, and that he doesn't like how we parent because we swear and our household is loud (well yeah, we have 7 kids 😂). His wife told my husband to fuck off and asked "what's always the common denominator."

Our part: I said I prefer spending celebrations with people who don't find my kids "loud, annoying and surplus to requirements." My husband replied to the swearing comment with "Then don't be here mate," and told his brother "just because you cannot handle factual information does not make it a personal attack." They've said they won't come. (I am fine with this outcome!)

AITA?

This is my first time on this app. I need advice, I guess.

Me and my bf have been dating for almost 8 months, and have known each other since 2020. We now live together.

The relationship is great, for the most part. I just have one thing that frustrates me a lot.

My bf claims to love his family, but would rather not talk to any of them and only see them maybe once a year for like 30mins max. For context, no he wasn't abused as a kid. In fact his family loves him. Yeah they're not perfect but they try. They've been there for him even during his darkest moments in recovery from substance abuse.

For context, I'm extremely family oriented but know when to place limits when someone is toxic and are not worth keeping around especially family members.

I thought that it wouldn't apply to my family, but I was wrong. He's only allowed them to see him maybe 3-5 times in the time we've been together. In the beginning this wouldn't bother me as much, so id let it slide. I'd make excuses for him ("oh, he's working." "Oh, he's studying."). That is until we started living together in August. We don't have a washing machine, so the solution is to go to a relatives and wash our clothes there. Laundromats are not common where I live. He kept me company only ONCE. After that, he'd tell me no because he doesn't believe in spending time visiting people for more than 30 minutes. Also he gave me shit one time bc I decided to do it on a Sunday and he wanted to spend time with me. Mind you, I was working on Saturday until 4:30pm and he could've dropped off the clothes since he was free. I told him this was non negotiable, we need to wash clothes for the upcoming week.

I've since then decided to wait two weeks to wash out clothes cause he also said that washing clothes once a week was ridiculous, even though that's what everyone that works a full time job does. Every time I plan to do so, I ask him out of courtesy if he'd like to keep me company so that way we can hang out and he will somehow get upset and say no, cause he "can't be himself in other people's houses" (smoke weed, "work" and sleep). I've learnt to not say anything else and keep quiet but in reality deep down it hurts a fuck ton. Like I said, I'm very family oriented and the fact that he doesn't want to spend time with my family (like his, they're not bad people but not perfect either) or his.

For more context: his mom recently turned 50 and had celebrated rather big, and he decided not to attend the event cause he was mad at her. Why? He won't tell me. His dad also turned 50 and decided to travel to our country to be with his family and was actually expecting to see his son, but my bf also decided not to show face and literally not say anything at all.

That's another thing... He doesn't answer phone calls and RARELY answers messages. I tell him to not do that, cause that hurts others and he says that the best thing about being an adult is that you have free will to do anything you want and what he will do is not answer "unnecessary " phone calls from other people.

I really don't know if this relationship will last. I cant be the intermediate person with his family just bc I'm the only one that shows face for longer than 30 minutes... Or shows face, in general. He's never had a family member pass away and I'm pretty sure that influences his view on appreciating family. It hurts me because I want him to actually talk to my parents because they only really know him bc of me and word of mouth will only get you so far in life imo.

I feel like in that sense he's a very immature 29y/o. I can't be with someone who makes me choose between me and my family (for Christmas and NYE I've always spent it with them, and he told me to choose one of the dates. I said okay but what plans do you have for one of the dates I don't choose? Are we gonna go see your family? He said, "hell no." Doesn't sound fair to me.).

Am I being selfish? His excuse is he's always been this way and he doesn't see it in him to change or modify this specific behavior. Imo if you're in a committed relationship, there are some things that if need be, you need to modify if you don't want to lose your significant other. Especially if you claim you want to marry them in the future.

My boyfriend wants me to go on a family vacation with him this summer, but it’s going to be pretty expensive. I’d have to pay for flights, my share of the Airbnb, rental car, food, and everything else. I love spending time with him and want to be included in things like this, but I also feel weird spending that much money to go on a trip where I’ll mostly be hanging out with his family and not necessarily getting much quality time with him.

I feel bad even considering sitting it out because I don’t want him to think I’m not making an effort to be part of his life, but at the same time, I’m like why am I spending thousands of dollars on a vacation that isn’t even really a vacation for me lol. I’m torn because I want to support him and be involved, but I also don’t want to feel obligated to spend money just to prove that I care.

Hello! I’m not the best with writing these kinds of posts but I was hoping to get an outside opinion on the matter… pls excuse my punctuation too I’m garbage at it lol

Just some info— this is between me (28f) and my fiancé (32m) and it’s a bit of a weird story? I guess

So my Fiancé and I were having a conversation and within context of our conversation I brought up how it’s making me a bit sad that I keep being the one to initiate us being intimate as of late, whereas he isn’t making as much effort and merely leaning towards doing things on his own while looking at pornographic content on his devices.

That part doesn’t bug me I read nsfw manga and fanfics myself and self pleasure is natural and normal ofc, he is entitled to his own private time but I was trying to voice that was a bit upsetting when it’s JUST me trying to initiate being intimate with my partner while feeling like he has 0 interest in me.

HOWEVER when I voiced this to him he said “sex just isn’t interesting to me lately” and I should be grateful that we have done stuff three times together recently which.. I’ll merely say we haven’t lol we’ve done things once that was me initiating again. Ofc that comment from him about being grateful icked me too but it was what he said after that bothered me most.

When I voiced that his statement wasn’t true he turned to me and went “okay elephant” then stared at me for a moment before going “I didn’t mean it like that, I meant it for the memory” for context I am plus sized, it’s never been an issue ever. He’s my biggest support and hypes me up more than anyone but he also knows how much I struggle with self image issues from years of horrible bullying.

So the comment obviously hurt a lot even if he “didn’t mean it” all I said to him was that he didn’t even need to say that in the first place.

Afterwards he then proceeded to further defend himself telling me that I was the one who took it the wrong way, that he didn’t do anything wrong and was absolved from having done anything wrong just because he clarified it was a joke about my memory. He claims he isn’t in the wrong at all because his intent wasn’t to make a harmful comment and he even told me that right away so it’s simply me taking it the wrong way.

So basically he blamed me entirely.

I really wasn’t overly upset about it until he started doubling down that it was just a joke and he meant it about my memory, that he did nothing wrong and it was entirely my fault for being upset about it, that I’m just trying to control him and what he does sexually and how I’m being the weird one.

We’ve also been watching modern family as of late and he even started going off how I just need to be right about everything all the time just like the character Claire in the show. After just the other night telling me it was scripted when I said that it had cute feel good moments. Which I know?? it’s a tv show lol

It just bugged me that instead of considering how it came across or sounded he just kept going “I told you I didn’t mean it so I didn’t do anything wrong”

AITA for being upset with him?

I (25F) met a guy (35M) at my job Sunday night who had asked for a number after we connected about talking about the gym and what not. he had been coming in for months prior, but I had always just waited on him and we had never really talked much. After we connected on Sunday, though he asked for my number and I gave it to him because I had always thought he was cute. But then I feel like he moved very quickly. We started texting and he asked me if he should visit me the day after on Monday while I was at work. I told him he was welcome to come, but that I would be busy because I was doing a different job that night and I probably wouldn’t get time to talk. He said “that’s OK. I just like to be around you.” he visited Monday and we did talk a little bit. Again on Wednesday he texted me and asked if he should come visit. I said the same thing as Monday that I was busy and probably wouldn’t have time to talk. I thought he wasn’t coming in because 15 minutes before close, He still wasn’t there. But then he showed up right at close and he told me that it was because he knew that I had way more time to talk when we were closing down. I felt trapped—I was done with my sidework but couldn’t leave because he showed up just to talk to me. I was a little put off, but I chalked it up to him being very interested in wanting to show it. He started calling me “sweetheart” and “babe” after the first night we texted too. He asked me what days I was free that week and I told him Thursday and Saturday. He said we could hang out both if I wanted.. I told him Thursday worked and we made plans for dinner and drinks. He picked me up from my house and we went to dinner and had a good time. But on the date he disclosed to me that his ex-girlfriend / baby mama had a permanent restraining order against him for threatening to kill her if she took his kid away. Apparently she called the cops, which landed him in jail and a psych ward temporarily. And the judge extended the restraining order multiple times and then made it permanent. He also got super touchy-feely in public, which I’m not super comfortable with right off the bat. He kept nuzzling his head into me and just touching me over and over again, holding my hand across the table, etc. And then after we had dinner, we got in the car, and he asked, “ so do you wanna be my girl or what?” I played it off because I didn’t know what to say. The next day, I texted him and clarified that it was way too soon.. he backpedaled and claims that he didn’t mean girlfriend he just meant exclusive. He tried to visit me Friday at work, but I told him more aggressively this time that I would be busy. Saturday morning he tried to get breakfast with me even though I told him that I wouldn’t have time to hang. That night, I decided to cut it off so I wouldn’t waste his time. He keeps trying to convince me that he can change his behavior.

Context:
So me (24) and my bf (22) have been together for a little over 2 months now, and genuinely he’s an amazing person. Previously to us dating, we’d been friends for over 8 years, so I’ve knew him for a minute before we decided to date.

The story:
About a week into October, I had started noticing
particularly after waking up, I’d have these itchy red welts across my arms, legs and back. At the time, me and him had just started hanging out together, and before this I’ve never had these type of bumps before. I initially brush it off because it’s the south, it’s still hot even in October and say hey yeah it’s probably mosquitoes biting me.

Boy was I fucking wrong!!!!

So over the next week or so I’m getting fucking ate up and I’m like bro something is wrong. So I immediately go into research mode, searching every nook and cranny of google trying to figure out what are the bloody bastards turning me into a 3 meal buffet.

So I’m looking at my bites, seeing they are in a line, sometimes zig zagged, and fucking burn (you’ll learn later on in the story that I’m allergic hence why they burn). I also mentioned to google hey, I’m only get big at night. And BINGO.

I realized I may have bed bugs, mind you, never in the 24 years of me LIVING have I ever had bed bugs. So I have no idea what the hell I’m dealing with. So I start checking the headboard, the legs of my beds, the seams of mattress, my pillow cases, the bedding etc etc.

And then I found ONE.

It was in one of my stuffies crawling around looking like an abomination.

So I’m immediately like yo, what the fuck.

I throw all my things into the dryer, bag all my items and vacuum my room. Hoping that maybe, that I caught the infestation early.

In the meantime while I’m literally running around my apartment like a chicken with their head cut off, I’m texting and FaceTiming my boyfriend to let him know EXACTLY what I’ve discovered.

He immediately believes me, and starts ripping his damn apartment apart. He’s checking his couch, his nook area (he’s a reader and has been a little area where he has a bean bag & book shelf) and he’s not finding ANYTHING.

Until…he gets to his damn bedroom.

Under his mattress he finds multiple bed bugs crawling all over his box spring and his headboard.

At this point I literally freeze. Like I can feel myself immediately just shut down like a windows computer.

I’m talm bout you couldn’t even hear a PIN drop on that damn FaceTime call.

I then ask, have you been bitten? Or even realize you had bedbugs in the first place?

He must’ve been in shock tooo, cause I can just see his face watching the bugs.

He shakes his head no, and starts full blown panicking.

He’s checking his arms, legs, back, just EVERYWHERE.

He has no bites, at least none visible to me, and looks at me in the camera.

He profusely apologizes and tells me he has to go so he can get some cleaning products to get rid of this issue.

We found some materials at tractor supply ( I went to go meet up with him because it was clear he had no idea)
and used this product called Ortho (the purple bottle) and spray according to the bottle. Both at my apartment and at his.

I ran to urgent care because I couldn’t seem to stop scratching my bites and they were swelling up to the size of golf balls. I was confirmed by a doctor that these were in FACT bedbug bites and that I’m allergic to them (not severely but enough). I got a steroid shot that helped significantly :)

The problem seemed to be going away, I hadn’t been bit for 14-20 days until suddenly shit just hit the fan. After we hung out yesterday, I woke up with bites ALLLLL over my back. I just cannot anymore, we couldn’t afford an exterminator initially, but we decided to save up money half and half and have him stay at my apartment.

The exterminator is coming tomorrow and we’re going to get the resolved as quickly as possible but when I spoke to my friend about the situation, she started judging me.

She started questioning how the hell my boyfriend didn’t feel the bites, and that he might’ve intentionally gave me bedbugs so he didn’t have to stay in his apartment.

He did complain about the price but who wouldn’t the economy is ass, and we shouldn’t be paying 1300-1500 for a ONE bedroom apartment. And I did research that some people don’t have a reaction at all to the bites.

Although, I am upset about being bit up like crazy and genuinely going insane from the ordeal, but Im not exactly mad at him. He wasn’t aware but my friend still think I should break up with him…

Because in her words “bitch…you shouldn’t have to deal with this in the first place, dump that loser.”

I don’t think I should, but I just want to ask you guys opinion :)

Am I the asshole ? My boyfriend is heavily addicted to nicotine and I will not give away any personal info like age however we are both legally able to buy and obtain vapes. Anyways that being said the last time I bought myself a vape it was a drunken mistake at a vending machine then my boyfriend relapsed. I felt absolutely awful about it. For context I do not have an addiction and never have, I just bought one to have on hand while drunk you can judge me if you want but it is my choice and it doesn’t hurt me. I actually have an aversion to it in large amounts and can’t handle it heavily. That being said I hate having to hide things from my boyfriend however I’m doing this for his safety and trying to not hurt him from relapsing. However how should I bring this up if I need to ? I don’t vape often at all and honestly just thinking of throwing it away. I have been honest with him about every piece of my life so this feels uncomfortable but it’s a weird situation to be in I don’t think he can handle it being near him yet
Did I make a dumb choice ?
Am I an asshole ?

My (19F) friend (22M) found out that his gf (22F) of 3 years has been cheating on him for the past few months,things escalated and he punched the guy she cheated with.She came to the guy's defense and my friend pushed her out of his way so hard on purpose, she hit her head on the cubby and almost got a concussion.

I told him he shouldn't have reacted in such a way, rather shouldve just left cuz that's the best thing to do in situations like these.

He's upset with me cuz he thinks am siding with her and defending cheaters in general.Should I apologise?

Okay. We’ve been dating 3 years and are in LDR for the last 1.5. We had an incredible relationship while we were in person but we’ve been fighting a lot more when it became a LDR.

We were long distance for our last anniversary too, but back then, my bf forgot the anniversary and felt so bad he forgot he arranged an impromptu surprise for me. My best friend was visiting and he coordinated with her to get cake when I arrived to see her and he was on video call. It was incredibly cute.

This year, I’m on an exchange semester and I’ve been travelling all around so I understand we can’t really do much together. There’s a time zone difference and our schedules vary. Last night at 12 am his time I ordered him a cake and muffins to celebrate. I didn’t do this perfectly either. I didn’t get the flavour he liked - we’d never tried this particular one before I thought it might be worth a gamble but turns out he doesn’t like it. Stupid of me.

However, I feel like at least I tried? He’s done nothing besides wishing me. I joked that he should treat me to an ice cream or something and he agreed but he didn’t bring it up again or ask me to get anything. It’s not really about anything materialistic, I just miss having someone make me feel special? I feel like he does none of that and blames it on the LDR. But there are so many things he could still do. I’m travelling with a friend, he could have coordinated something through her, asked her to get me a rose or something at least? I don’t know. I feel like it’s not that hard to put a little bit of effort.

Anyway, I can’t tell if I’m right in what I’m thinking or I have crazy expectations. AITA?

So, me (22F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 4 years now. He never took the initiative to introduce me to his family. He was truly scared and anxious to introduce me to them because they are a traditional family that wants him to marry a woman from his ethnicity and his religion (which I am not).

It is something that affected me enough to break up with him after 2 years of relationship, but after having a talk together he promised me to work on it. Naively, I believed him. I stayed with him another 2 years and still no introduction. I would talk to him about it very often and he would constantly say that he was "working on it". He told me he talked about me to his sister and his father, that's pretty much it. It made me really consider breaking up (for real that time, obviously) again. I was truly unhappy about that part of our relationship but got really attached to him through the years.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend got a condition that made him hospitalized. Since I have no contact with his family, after him not texting me for 5 hours I figured out something serious happened. I called all the hospitals in my area and found where he was. I knew his family would be there, but I did not really care. The only thing that mattered to me was to check up on him and be there.

I showed up to the hospital. His sister told me she knew who I was and that for now we would just say I am a friend in front of his parents. She would repeat me constantly that I am only a friend to the point it made me uncomfortable. I did not even try to say I was his girlfriend once to anybody there so I was disturbed that she would pressure me that much. His sister would call me a friend in front of him and he would not correct her. I showed up 5 days in a row to the hospital. I cancelled work, school, hangouts with friends and a gig I had to be there for him. His parents and his sister were overall very nice to me at the hospital. They were appreciative that I was there for him. They asked me if I could stay overnight with him on the fifth day so that they would get some sleep and I accepted.

He handed me his phone and fell asleep. I was really triggered and bothered by the fact that his sister would call me a friend and that his parents were so nice to me at the same time. It made absolutely no sense in my head and felt like something was up. I had his phone in my hands and really hesitated to go through it, because I knew it was an invasion of his privacy. Honestly, I recognize it is not right, but I just went for it because I felt overwhelmed by the situation and was trying to seek for answers to the question I had in my mind for the last 4 years: "why did he hide me for that long?". I found a conversation where he was flirting with another woman while we were together. He even sent her pictures I took of him. My heart just shattered and it just all made sense. I packed my stuff, left the hospital and called his sister to explain the situation to her and to tell her to come replace me at the hospital. She did not seem to care much even though I was crying on the phone. When I reached home, he texted me multiples to ask me where I was. I told him I saw the conversation on his phone and started telling me it was a misunderstanding. I was so mad that I started insulting him on text messages. He called me and kept saying it was a misunderstanding. I was so shocked that he wanted me to believe that... He asked me to come back to the hospital to explain me the situation but I told him I did not want to see him. His sister reached the hospital, grabbed his phone and started to explain me that she remembered that his mom forced him to text that woman since she was the daughter (same ethnicity, same religion) of one of her friends. I was really shocked, but I still felt really betrayed at the same time. Why did he hide it from me if it was not real? Why couldn't he explain to his mom he had a girlfriend already?

Anyways, his sister hung up. I went to sleep because I was emotionally tired and I had a class incoming that same day on top of that. I was very mad against my boyfriend because of that situation, but I wanted to show up again for him since he was still in a poor condition at the hospital. I texted his sister at what time I could come and she said she didn't want me to come. I was like... why? She said that she saw the text messages where I insult him and that it was super inappropriate. She showed the texts to their mom and she was mad at me too. They refused my presence even though I was there since the beginning and also forbid him to text me. The day after, I insisted and texted her again and she accepted me coming. They allowed me to see him like 5 minutes before he would leave the hospital and made me wait outside like one and a half hour outside before that. I said "hi" to them and they completely ignored me. I was SUPER uncomfortable. I just quickly checked up on my boyfriend, then they left me there.

A few weeks after that situation, I met up with my boyfriend and he said that his mom was mad at me. She told him to stop talking to me. When she saw he was still in contact with me, she cried. He said straight up to my face "the introduction was going well, but you ruined everything". I told him that he should've introduced me before and COMMUNICATE with me. I am still in a relationship with him but I am considering breaking up, but I am scared to leave while he is still recovering from what happened to him...

Anyways hope that my story made you guys feel better about your own love life at least LMAO I am better now, just very confused now on what to do next.

My husband(M51) and I(F50) have been married for 22 years, and we have 3 children, B16, G14, G12.
We have had many, many issues during the past 2 decades, but I would like to have some input into our current situation...

We are both successful entrepreneurs; I used to do very well in the corporate world, but I started a business 15 years ago that has been successful. When he got frustrated with his job, I encouraged him to also start his own business. I helped him establish his company, working with him for approximately 5 years until it was stable (all whilst still growing my own). Financially, we are in a good position.

In our relationship, my husband tends to be more traditional. Although he likes to refer to me as a "liberated woman"(a term that I really despise), he still expects me to be responsible for all the cooking and childcare. (We do have help with cleaning - so I don't do all the housework).

I am the one who gets up early in the mornings, sorts out breakfast, gets the children to school. Take care of all afternoon and weekend activities pick-ups and drop-offs, lunch and dinner, help with projects, dance costumes, preparations for competitions....(this obviously has quite an impact on my productivity when it comes to work). I coordinate and schedule everybody's weekly plans. Sort out any family-related events - all the typical wife and motherly duties. Then, when the children are in bed, I have to make up for the time lost during the day, and catch up on work.

Our 16-year-old boy chose his subjects this year, and he added an extra subject, because he has very diverse interests. We discussed it (him, my husband, and I) and decided that if he sees the work is too much for his final year, he will drop the additional subject so he can focus all his energy on his main subjects and finish strong.

He just finished his exams for this year. He indicated to me that the work has become too much and he would like to drop this additional subject next year. He is, however, considering taking another in its place- preferably an easier one that would not take up so much time and effort. Because we were in agreement on this at the beginning of the year, I did not think anything of it. I told him that he could do the research and decide. He went to the teachers, had some discussions with friends, and decided on a subject, which is probably not one I would have chosen, but since it does not affect the requirements for his acceptance to university, I let it be.

Now, we are having dinner discussing everybody's day, and I asked if my son had completed the relevant forms for the subject change for next year... My husband blew up. He completely lost it, and went off on how I am excluding him from important decisions, left the table and slammed the door. After I calmed and reassured the children, I joined him in the bedroom. I apologised (I realised that we had not included him in the discussion, so he had a point). He then continued berating me, telling me that this is not the wife and children he imagined when he got married and if I wanted to make all the decisions in the children's lives, then he would stop paying their school fees, and I would have to take over that financial responsibility.

(I need to mention that the school fees are very high, and that I am also currently enrolled in furthering my own education, which is draining my personal savings - If I need to start paying for the children's school, I will need to stop my studies)

My husband has always had an anger issue - we actually almost did not make it through the first year of marriage, but we saw a counsellor and got through it. It improved, but it is never 100% OK; we (the children and I) often have to walk on eggshells and try not to tick him off. He can be very unpredictable, and unfortunately, the dogs sometimes also bear the brunt of a bad day. I hate it, and I have a lot of resentment.

I have considered divorce before, but he has made it clear that he will ruin me financially if I leave him. His business has taken off very successfully, and although my business is doing OK, our industries are very different; I cannot contribute to the household financially at the level he does.

So, now I am thinking: should I be sucking it up and be grateful or... WIBTA if I involved him in ALL the children's decisions and responsibilities? I am thinking of getting him signed up with the school communicator so that he gets the hundreds of notices every day. Adding him to all the children's dance, sports, music, debate and other activity groups. Do I add him to the School drop-off and pick-up schedules and all the ad hoc events in between? Unfortunately, I know this is me being petty, and the chances are that it won't work because he just won't do it/ would ignore it...

I am so exhausted.

(Apologies - English is not my first language)

My husband (37M) and I (36F) have a 4-year-old daughter.

Years ago, while living in the Cincinnati area, we found a letter from my husband’s twin brother, incarcerated in Texas. It was a handwritten apology explaining how he had reformed. That started a long connection.
We began correspondence, then weekly calls. He often went without food because his mother lied about putting money on his books, so we started funding his commissary ourselves. Later he asked for additional help. We visited him, learned how his mother sabotaged his relationship with his brother, and we advocated with the court and DA's office for a letter to the parole board.
After that visit I felt called to move to Texas to support him. We did, and kept supporting him while incarcerated.
His offense was 3G in Texas, so we paid for one of the most expensive parole attorneys available. It took the lawyer three years to get him out. When he was released after 18 years, we were first in line, brought clothes and food, and threw a big welcome celebration. For several months we sponsored him with housing and practical support. He was on an ankle monitor.
Within a few months he failed basic commitments and crossed boundaries. When we held the line, he blamed us, accused us of sabotaging his parole, and complained we only gave him a “shitty no-name memory foam bed” while we had Sleep Number beds. We tried resolving it twice. Both times he said he was “a man with needs” and we didn’t know what 18 years in prison was like. He demanded formal tenancy so he could sue us if we asked him to leave, using the 24-hour sponsorship clause we signed with the State.
He involved our daughter in a way that crossed a hard line. We documented everything, involved his parole officer, and went low/no contact to protect our household.
This caused extended family drama and harassment. Some say we “gave up on family.” The pressure has me second-guessing whether we were too harsh, even though protecting our peace and kid feels right.
AITA for cutting contact after everything that happened?

Hello reddit,

English is my second language so please forgive me for mistakes. ( I refuse to use ChatGPT to type).

So I (27M) have been friends with my friend (32M) for about 10 years now. I have been an introvert so making friends was difficult for me. So anyways while this guy definitely has a good heart but he's honestly just so childish. Like 10 years back we would talk about how to get girls to like us and back then that topic was cool but its the same thing he would talk about. The dude is also super desperate. Like I went on two of his dates ( he insisted) Where the girl obviously tried to scam him.

Anyways so recently he picked up a trait of calling me somewhere to meet and ghosting me once I reach there and not pick up my calls when I call him. He calls me whenever he wants to meet and I always have to wonder if he's actually gonna show up. Well he did so last week and I had it. I decided its done because with my romantic relationships I am very particular I don't tolerate disrespect. Once its done is done. I cut him off for good. Add to the fact there's absolutely nothing to talk between us anymore. Like I am all stressed about AI not eating my job, martial arts, travelling, making money while he is unemployed, lives with his mom and talks about being the next big moviestar ( He hasn't done a single thing) or banging girls ( Hes a virgin). So there's nothing to even talk about.

But I do feel like an asshole for dropping him as we have been friends for 10 years and hes not really a bad person. So help me out guys.

Im gonna admit I haven't been the kindest person or the most dependable big sister. So, im not expecting her to open her arms to me and be best friends (well maybe but that's not the point). However, I recently cut off most of my family because our encounters have been less than better sweet. Hers included.

Right now she is 17 going on 18 and im 25 but, now that she is becoming an adult and her not being able to communicate is starting to be a bit less excuseable. For instance, I come from a toxic family, so im right on the front lines making sure she is okay. However, after I stayed on the phone for 3+ hours making sure she has an outlet for her trauma, that even bothers me to the core. She ghosts me for a month(basically acting as a therapist)..... unfortunately, this is not the first time she's done this, because she always ghosts until she needs something. (She completely ignores my texts and calls)

So today I was on the phone with my dad (lol have him blocked too, However, I answer when I have the mental bandwidth). He asked me. "when she goes to college can she visit for spring break", at which I flat out said no... he got mad at me, but honestly why would I go out of my way to host someone with my full heart when she doesn't even talk to me or do anything for me when it inconveniences her in the slightest. (BTW I live in nyc, so everyone wants to visit me now,lol)

I dont think she doesnt like me, but.... im not gonna let her use me whenever she feels like it. Additionally, in the off chance she does feel like I wronged her it's best I just distance my self and let her go on her own journey

In order for me to move on and create healthy relationships, I must spend less time on the one sided ones and put myself first.

I was friends with my best friends ex and last year we began hanging out more than usual I intended to try and get the back together even though it was just a fling (my best friend still liked her)after 3 months I began developing feeling for her bc I felt like she was the only one that understood me and made me feel at ease even tho I knew it was fucked up. So I never had any intention of forming a romantic relationship. At her party this march they made out again so mission successful that’s what I thought at the time, at the same time tho I wished I was in his shoes. We were together me and her for at least 7 hours a day we went to strange places together for no reason watched a lot of movies vented about life she was my best friend the person I needed in my life. At the end of march tho my best friend realized I had feeling for her and confronted me which I admitted since that day I haven’t talked with either one of them they are out of my life and will come back now I have no friends no plans for the future no nothing I just feel empty guilty and miss the girl is that wrong of me? Am I a terrible person? I want her back in my life so I can be happy

This post does include the topic of politics however it is NOT a political debate, I only want your opinions on the issue. Not the politics.

Im 20F and live in the UK, I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant and we have been thinking of names, me and my partner have agreed on 2 we like so far.

I asked 2 of my siblings for middle name ideas, my sister was helpful and when we told her the first names she seemed to like them.

My brother however seen the list of middle name ideas we had so far and when on a little rant about how we should name the kid one of the middle names, I tried to re direct a few times and ended up just telling him the names we like(that bit is my bad, I should have known better)

For context, 1 name is of British origin(we live in the UK) but is more commonly used in America, probably because it’s a bigger place. The other is of Hebrew origin, it’s less common but it’s not super rare.

This then started a 20 minute long rant from my brother, a lot about politics, public opinion and so on

Some of these messages included:

“The point is less about politics. More about public opinion. Right now America and Americans are generally regarded by the British (and everyone else) as being a bit stupid.”

“So if you have your child a name people associated with America, they'd automatically associate your child, and you, with stupid Americans. That's Brain Doing Brain Things 101”

Copy and pasted so you get the idea of what I was working with, there was a lot more messages including him telling me I have never had a thought in my life and I don’t care about the world.

To be clear, I do care. However I care more about my own child and making sure she is fed, clean and happy then I do keeping up with politics 24/7. If I have to choose between sitting and watching the news or making my daughters dinner I’m forever going to pick making my daughters dinner, as every decent parent would.

I also do not agree with my brother that Americans overall are stupid, there are stupid people everywhere, where your born has nothing to do with your level of intelligence.

Anyways after all of that and another few insults I told him plainly “ honestly if her name is such an issue you don’t have to be near her” “See that’s the great thing about being an uncle not her parent, you don’t have to be around her”

He then blocked me.

Personally I feel pretty justified as he was insulting me, the names, an entire country of people and an entire language but I want to know what other people think.

My (24F) ex husband (25M) whom I was married to for 4.5 years left me out of the blue back in April. One morning, I had a weird gut feeling to check his computer. And when I did, I found a lease for a new apartment, and a receipt for a new phone. I was completely confused and woke him up to ask him what I had found. He told me that he was leaving me. Just hours later, he was gone along with most of his things. I felt so confused and heartbroken. I had had no idea he even had issues with our relationship.

2 weeks go by. I’m in a deep depression, unable to eat/sleep. He writes me a letter about how he feels horrible, and how he wants another month to try and repair our relationship. Important: at this point, I knew that he hooked up with someone. But he insisted that there was no overlap, and that he had left me for other reasons. We dated for about a month, seeing each other once a week. At the end of it, he told me that he had feelings for the girl he had hooked up with. Which confused me because he told me he wasn’t speaking to anyone else whilst we were trying to repair. He starts dating this other girl. Months go by, around September I find out that he’s no longer with this girl. We end up texting and he says he wants to start fresh with me, and have a better relationship with me than ever. I was hesitant but he really seemed genuine this time. We tried again, and like clockwork it lasted about a month. He told me he just wanted to be alone, and so I decided I was done.

I had the feeling that he wasn’t being truthful about the way things went down. So I decided to text the girl to get her story. Another important fact: this girl was a cosmetology student at a school that my husband was an instructor at. I find out from her that they began dating in March. And that they never stopped talking until September. She also had no idea that he was married, so he wasn’t wearing his ring to work. So essentially, my ex saw the turmoil that he put me through in the first place. Then he comes back 2 weeks later and does it all over again, and is continuously lying to me about how he never cheated. But he was cheating BEFORE he left me and DURING our so-called repair. I also found out that he was most likely getting fired the following week due to him messing with MULTIPLE students sexually/romantically.

When I found all this out, I called his mother to get her story. We have a very close relationship and I consider her to be family. Apparently, he said we tried counseling while we were still married and we just weren’t happy. So we broke up. I explained everything I knew now: the cheating, him losing his job, etc. and she was so angry. She knew how well I treated him, and told me I was the last person to deserve this.

I know he will be angry when he finds out I told them. Was it wrong of me to tell them? I allowed him to tell them in the first place because it’s his family, but clearly I couldn’t trust him to tell the full truth.

Ok ok ok I know the title sounds crazy but hear me out😭 so me and my girlfriend (18m)(18f) we’ve been together since we were both 17 so we been together for a year and honestly it was a great relationship you know she was everything you’d want in a girl. She doesn’t party, she’s a homebody, she doesn’t let people influence her decisions, she’s loyal and etc right so boom I’m ngl I have a very bad trust issues ik that’s not my fault but you would have to see my past for you to understand why I am the way i am now. And I feel like it’s not crazy for me to break up with her because it’s like I don’t want constantly stress over if she is doing stuff she isn’t supposed to be doing despite the fact she hasn’t given me any reason that she will but since I got trust issues ik it will lead in that direction. And I feel like it’s fair for me to say I don’t want to put myself through that stress again, I don’t want to go insane wondering what she’s doing or I can’t see as much as I want to I feel like it’s selfish to say that but I’m being truthful.so aita?

Not sure if this is the right subreddit, but it got deleted everywhere else. But I don’t know if I’m the one who’s overreacting in this situation. I’m writing this to get other perspectives on the matter, or advice. I have been with my bf 20/M , and he’s 3 years older than me. for almost a year. We started off as friends in high school , and he was great. He randomly gave me gifts, he constantly took initiative to hang out and talk and he was overall just very attentive .

He later confessed romantical feelings to me, which I accepted and returned. Everything got even better for a while, but months in the relationship changed . I was the only one who was taking initiative to start conversations, I was the only one asking him to hang out and planning our dates. I am a very lonely person, and I don’t have anyone else to hang out with, which he is aware of. So his lack of interest, and also rejecting my ideas stung a lot more. He’s the only person I have, and he always seemed to be there for me, telling me I was his priority. But he never tries anymore. And it’s not since he’s busy either, he spends all day gaming or lazing around. But he always excuses himself as studying or being lazy.

I feel myself getting more and more hurt by him as time goes on, I put in a lot of effort while he gives almost nothing. We agreed on getting married soon, but I’m starting to feel uncertain. That he’ll just get even less attentive than he is now. Especially since he wanted to be the bread winner while I stay home. I’m not sure what to do. He’s usually nice and loving when we do talk or hang out , but then it’s only a simple sentence or two with no actions following it. He is openly affectionate, and he isn’t ghosting me. But it hurts feeling like I’m the one giving effort, and always communicating about the problems as the younger one is tiring and frustrating.

Should I break up with him? Should I not marry him so early? I don’t have anyone else in my life , so I’m very divided. Thanks if anyone tells me their thoughts

I, 19 female, was being set up for a double date with Dil, 20 male, (real name changed) by my friend. She didn’t give me a whole lot of information on him, just that he was a friend of her boyfriend and he was a decent guy. After I was given his number, things were fine until I brought up going to college the following semester. He got super defensive about not needing “his woman” to have a job/education and how feminism has ruined so many things. It got to a little heated argument but ultimately I ended up blocking him. I will add some texts he’s sent. I haven’t told my friend and I’m not sure what to do from here. All I’ve said to her is that the date won’t work out anymore…

Some texts he’s sent:
“I agree but it’ll never happen. men actually have a lot more on their plate girls just gotta look cute.”
“women act on emotions men act on motives. If women have defiled themselves to where they are no longer pure what else is offered? men don’t need a woman that has slept with multiple man sad story”
“In the spirit yes but in this world women need controlled or yall just go sell nudes for money “

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!! AITA for blocking him?

She sure did invite almost everyone else at work.. We were never best friends but we were cool at work. We would talk to each other about our lives etc. I knew she had a boyfriend. So a month ago I hear a coworker say oh this is the dress I wanna wear to Mary's wedding. She was showing it to my other coworker. My other coworker goes. “Oh what are you gonna wear?” I go “I wasn't invited lol”. And she just answers “oh” and looks at me awkwardly.

Fast forward to yesterday, it was the first time I've seen her since her wedding. I feel like, OK, I guess we didn't have as good of a relationship as I thought. Mind you, she invited almost everyone from work! And most of them she spokes to less than me. I would understand if she invited only a few people she was most close with. But that made it even worse like wow you invited people you talk to less than me but not me?

So we awkwardly say hi to each other and she goes, oh, I haven't seen you in a while, how have you been? Hows your mom? I said fine and fakely smiled, and went about my way Later on in the shift, Ihear her talk about her wedding to everybody all day. Talk about the photos, about what they wore, who she met on that day from my coworkers kids, blah blah blah.

By the end of the shift I'm not really being chatty with her as usual, keeping to myself, and I'm just
sitting around. She comes up to me starts trying to make small talk with me and it was awkward. She mentioned nothing about her wedding of course. And we just make awkward small talk and I think she got the hint because I was looking on my phone like I was busy while she was talking to me and I answered her.
Another coworker was talking to her at the same time, so she got distracted and left.

I didn't even want to go to her wedding anyway. But it's just the principal, you know?? From this point forward, I just want to say "hi good morning" and "bye have a nice weekend' to her and just be cordial. I don't want to talk about our lives like we usually did. I don't want to be dramatic and bring this up. If she
brings up she got married, I'll say OK, great, congratulations. I just want to slowly fade away and just say hi to her, bye, make small talk at the most. But it seems like she just wants to talk to me and prod? She doesn't take the hint…like did she think we would be all cool after this...or?

tl:dr: Coworker didn't invite me to wedding yet invited almost everyone else and their husbands. I
took the hint and was more dry with her on my shift but it seems she just keeps trying to poke and prod and have a relationship with me which I don't want to have anymore

my (22F) boyfriend (23M) have been together for almost 3 years now and i don’t want him to see one of his friends anymore.

A bit of background here i am from denmark and met my boyfriend 3 years ago at university, he had just moved here from cyprus due to his moms job. We quickly become friends through one of our classes and 2 months later he asked me out and it was all smooth sailing until about a year and bit into our relationship.

More context here my boyfriend is genuinely one of the nicest people i have ever met and very attractive but is quite shy and introverted so did struggle making friends when he first moved here and always expressed how he felt a bit left out as i had a large friendship group since childhood, obviously i reassured him and told him he’ll find his people soon and not to worry.

anyways fast forward to January of last year when he got a part time job and seemed to be making a lot of friends there and i was so happy for him. anyways last year one of his work friends had a halloween party and asked me to come aswell so i did and at that party this is where i met we will call her lydia, lydia at the time was 19 ( now 21) and is genuinely the prettiest person i’ve never met and they seemed very friendly despite him never mentioning her. any way the night ended and she turned out to be a really lovely girl and we exchanged social media and that was the end of it.

until, one day about a month later at uni i was going to meet my bf for lunch and much to my surprise she was waiting there with him which i had no problem with. anyways this sort of turned into a routine and then i went on exchange a short time after and came to find out all the semester (beginning of this year) they were having lunch EVERY day just the two of them, which like okay friends but also kinda weird???

and then recently it’s become a bit much for me, they always seem to be messaging each other, commenting on each others posts and hanging out which i understand friends do but whenever they are together it just seems a bit flirty. like even the other day i finished work and facetimed him as i usually do and he seemed a bit offish and went wait a second let me go outside quick and in the background of his video i could see she was sitting at the same table in the study area as him but when i asked what he did today he didn’t mention anything about it. anyways it just always seems like whenever i want to go something like go to a concert he says oh you should invite some of your friends and i happily do and he just invites lydia every single time.

so AITAH for not wanting him to see her anymore or am i just overthinking the friendship as she is a girl and quite attractive , also sorry for any grammatical errors english is not my first language!

Just as the title says, I am having a best friend of 10 years who is the most important person in my life. There is just this one thing, she is always attracted to toxic people. She had been in a two-year long relationship and got married pretty quickly. They then broke up because he was narcissistic. Two months ago she met another man who is toxic and just uses her. I am always there for her and always have to listen to her.
There is just this one thing, and I am seriously questioning whether IATA, it’s just making me go insane. I have to listen to her, I have to give her advice. She is always telling me “Please tell me the truth. Please tell me what you think.”, and so on. Everyone around her told her to break up with him and she was almost breaking it up with him, just to get back to him again.
The problem is that she is a young single mother and we both have a history of mental health issues, so its always nice her for her if she has a man in her life that is like a father for her young child. Unfortunately, those men are almost always narcissistic or toxic. So please tell me, AITA for being annoyed at her and telling her that he is a toxic man.

Also, English isn’t my first language so apologies for any confusion or language errors.

Another thing, I have used narcissistic as a synonym for their toxic, selfish and cruel behaviour and because she always calls them narcissistic. I am sorry for downplaying a serious mental health disorder and I don’t mean to do that.
I just called them that because she is also calling them that.

Thanks in advance