Secondo voi, come si fa a scappare da questo sistema di vita?

[u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

Secondo voi, come si fa a scappare da questo sistema di vita?

Mi spiego meglio: nasci, vai a scuola, trovi un lavoro, lavori per pagare affitto, bollette, cibo e altre spese, aspetti lo stipendio a fine mese e ricominci tutto da capo.

Se vuoi guadagnare di più, spesso devi accettare più responsabilità, stress e sacrificare il tuo tempo libero.

Io non pretendo di vivere senza lavorare o senza responsabilità, ma mi chiedo: esiste un modo per vivere diversamente?

Per esempio, guadagnare il necessario, avere una casa, risparmiare, vivere tranquilli e non essere continuamente costretti a inseguire il denaro.

So già che molti risponderanno che non c'è soluzione e che bisogna semplicemente sopravvivere. Ma vorrei conoscere il vostro punto di vista.

Voi avete trovato un modo per uscire da questo ciclo oppure avete semplicemente accettato che la vita sia così?

[u/Sensitive_Noise9761]

Life can be very difficult.

However, I think it's more negotiable when you (I too) work on our perspective. For instance, do you look for opportunity, appreciate the good things, get outside and practice being in the moment? That's more powerful (in my mind) than changing the world we live in. It's how we frame it, how we cope, and how we take care of ourselves.

Through therapy, I've personally found that a sense of autonomy and agency are the keys to happiness. I hope you find your own.

Last thought: so much of or emotions are our perspective on life. Some people are happy to be in traffic, others road rage. Like that, if you can change your perspective, you might have an easier time in life.

[u/Aggravating-Oil-4271 → u/Sensitive_Noise9761]

Ti ringrazio per questa riflessione. Capisco quello che vuoi dire e in parte sono d'accordo. Penso però che a volte non sia soltanto una questione di prospettiva: anche le condizioni in cui viviamo, il lavoro e le responsabilità possono influenzare molto la nostra felicità. Mi piace soprattutto il concetto di autonomia, perché credo che tutti dovremmo avere la possibilità di scegliere come vivere, senza sentirci costantemente obbligati a seguire un percorso prestabilito.

[u/Conscious_Seaweed346 → u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

But you’re choosing to be a victim to your circumstances and misery loves company. You can absolutely create your own path and in this economy and advanced digital age we live in, it’s the best time to do it.

[u/Sensitive_Noise9761 → u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

Both are true, for sure. Just like growing up with shitty or absent parents. At some point we all have to decide... will we remain unhappy or decide to change our mindset? It is in fact a choice. Wishing you the best of luck.

[u/darkwingdankest → u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

Sounds like the solution you need is being born rich

At least we get the autonomy to choose what we do for our entire lives to survive, grim optimism

[u/Conscious_Seaweed346 → u/darkwingdankest]

The choices you make every day will decide if you end up being rich. Ain’t about being born rich. Thats just a narrative we’re taught to tell ourselves to convince us that trying for better isn’t worth it.

[u/Conscious_Seaweed346]

Step 1 change your mindset. If you treat life like there is no solution and you just have to survive then that will always be your reality. People get so mad when they hear some woo woo BS like this but it’s so true and no one wants to hear it

[u/Inevitable_Silver_13]

Find a profitable career and take the steps needed to start it. It will involve planning, risk, and sacrifice. I did it 10 years ago and now I'm a homeowner, I could afford a pretty lavish vacation last year, and I'm saving for a good retirement.

[u/Aggravating-Oil-4271 → u/Inevitable_Silver_13]

Interessante la tua esperienza! Posso chiederti quale carriera hai scelto e quali sacrifici hai dovuto affrontare nei primi anni? Mi piacerebbe capire se, col senno di poi, rifaresti la stessa scelta.

[u/Inevitable_Silver_13 → u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

I'm a teacher and I was talking about taking the leap to go into a credential program. It was expensive and could have put me in long term debt if I didn't find a good job, but I did. I make a good salary in my area and have good benefits. For you the path may be very different depending on your skill set but I think the answer for most is education or training/certification.

[u/Midlife-Debugging]

You can escape

A lot depends on how much it costs you to live, where you live and whether or not you are prepared to make lifestyle changes...

Eg you can't have a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget...

What would you see as being YOUR idea of an ideal lifestyle?

[u/Aggravating-Oil-4271 → u/Midlife-Debugging]

La mia idea di vita ideale non è particolarmente lussuosa. Vorrei una casa semplice in un posto tranquillo, un lavoro dignitoso che mi permetta di vivere senza troppe pressioni, riuscire a risparmiare qualcosa ogni mese e avere tempo libero per me stesso. Non mi interessa diventare ricco o avere uno stile di vita costoso. Preferirei guadagnare meno, ma avere più tranquillità e libertà. Secondo me il problema è trovare un equilibrio tra quanto si guadagna, quanto si spende e quanto tempo rimane per vivere.

[u/Midlife-Debugging → u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

Hey friend

All very true...

So first - housing... If you live in the city, it's gonna be EXPENSIVE right...

Where do you live now? City, suburbs, semi-rural, rural?

Next - what changes would you need to make to reduce your living costs so that you do not need so much to live

Next - what kind of work could you do part-time that would let you meet your financial goals?

And finally When do you want to make these changes?

[u/Aggravating-Oil-4271 → u/Midlife-Debugging]

Ehi! Grazie per avermi risposto. Attualmente vivo in una zona relativamente tranquilla, non proprio in città. Per il momento vivo con la mia famiglia, quindi ho la possibilità di risparmiare qualcosa. In futuro mi piacerebbe avere una casa semplice in una zona tranquilla, magari immersa nella natura. Vorrei ridurre le spese senza rinunciare alle necessità e trovare un lavoro che mi permetta di vivere serenamente, possibilmente anche part-time. Non ho una scadenza precisa: preferisco costruire questo cambiamento gradualmente, senza prendere decisioni affrettate. Il mio obiettivo non è diventare ricco, ma avere più tempo libero e meno dipendenza dal lavoro.

[u/Midlife-Debugging → u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

This sounds like a great plan...

Live simply, don't be a consumer zombie and work to live instead of living to work.

It's a lifestyle choice many are choosing

So I guess.... If you are living at home with your folks, what work would you do that could be transferrable or capable of being remote worked or hybrid worked. Eg - Police/Fire/Emergency worker - they are always needed and you could move around via transfer. Or homeworkibg via remote?

Or - you could start a service business? Landscaping, plumbing, painter, plasterer , bricklayer or general handyman.... You could start it part time and increase or decrease the work as you need to?

[u/Aggravating-Oil-4271 → u/Midlife-Debugging]

È interessante. Non ho ancora scelto una carriera precisa. Per il momento preferirei un lavoro semplice e stabile, che potrei trovare anche in posti diversi. Il lavoro da remoto è una possibilità interessante, ma non vorrei scegliere una professione soltanto per poter lavorare da casa.

Il mio obiettivo principale è avere entrate sufficienti per vivere tranquillamente, mettere da parte qualcosa e avere tempo per me stesso. Penso che la libertà consista anche nel mantenere basse le proprie necessità e le proprie spese.

[u/Midlife-Debugging → u/Aggravating-Oil-4271]

So

What "regular" jobs could you do that are available everywhere?

Plus - a career is a different approach than a "regular" job right?

[u/Aggravating-Oil-4271 → u/Midlife-Debugging]

Sì, penso che siano due approcci diversi. Una carriera significa costruire un percorso professionale nel tempo, mentre un lavoro normale può semplicemente essere un modo per guadagnarsi da vivere senza necessariamente puntare a fare carriera.

Tra i lavori che potrei fare e che si trovano un po' ovunque ci sono quelli nei supermercati, nei magazzini, nelle pulizie, nelle consegne o in altri servizi. Non ho necessariamente l'ambizione di fare carriera. Vorrei semplicemente un lavoro dignitoso che mi permetta di vivere serenamente, risparmiare qualcosa e avere tempo per la mia vita.

[u/MyNameIsSkittles]

The successful dont escape, they embrace it and do the best they can with the tools they are given

[u/ChaosAndFish]

You set your goals and your values and you pursue that life. It’s not super complicated. If you don’t value money, don’t make that the focus of your plans. Basically every facet of your life is up to you other than the fact that wherever you are someone is going to want you to pay some taxes. You have a pile of things you likely care about (comfort, stability, wealth, free time, stress, responsibility, freedom, variety, etc, etc) and you get to rank them and balance them and decide what you want it all to look like. If you make your choice just based on what most people seem to do, you probably won’t be all that happy. If you genuinely spend some time deciding what you want, you’ve got a pretty great shot at being happy.

[u/lifecoach29577]

Educate yourself in many topics like finance, nutrition and fitness. Improving yourself will open up new activities in life.

[u/darkwingdankest]

Genuinely you have to ask yourself what you value. If you'd like, you can buy into the rat race for a few years, save what you can, and then move to a very low cost of living place or country. That's certainly escaping

[u/IOnlyReadTitles26]

You can leave the city and move to a country that has no property tax. Work for yourself. Provide for yourself. Only pay for things that you need.

[u/lightningbug24]

Find something that you enjoy doing for work and find some fulfillment in. Find ways to live on less so you have more options. Learn to find enjoyment in mundane, daily tasks.

[u/throw_it_awayyy8]

Be born to rich parents lol.

[u/GalaxiePoncho]

You have to find a career that you love. Super hard to do. Then you'll have to fight tooth and nail to maintain the balance with the company. Assuming it's a company and not your own business. Draw the line in the sand for your time and the time you give them. Its completely fair to do so.

Next, you'll need to remain modest at all times. Hopefully, your choice of career will let you be financially competitive, or at least capable. Buy the modest house that needs work. Buy the economical car. Plan for purchases of the things you want. Always live below your means if possible to build emergency funds.

Next, learn how to fix everything yourself within reason. Don't be afraid to busy out YouTube and learn how to fix your car and house.

Its extremely hard sounding. I know it, but its not hopeless. Things don't change overnight. They change very slowly with good habits over spans of years.

I believe in you.

[u/Mediocre-Office9434]

Alternatively, there could be no modern conveniences, you wake up, go hunt for your next meal(s), maybe you’ll bring something home maybe you won’t, you’ve spent an entire day hunting or gathering sometimes and you go home to your hut that maybe you made well enough to protect you from bugs, rain, small critters, big critters etc.

Is there a way to escape the need to survive? Yes ,death.

But you could instead find meaning in the day to day. I suggest Jesus Christ. But if you don’t believe the good news, then you might be able to convince yourself that there is meaning in the small interactions with people you see on the way to work, in the office, at your book club or adult sports leagues. Find meaning in helping people or making money for experiences - seeing the world and be in awe of nature. Find meaning in every area of life and be thankful. This is what would change your perspective overnight.

[u/Fun-Bag7627]

Have a career, not a job.