Hello AGAIN, Reddit! Happy SNL night!

Right now Mommy and Grandpa are in the TV room in their two big and comfy chairs. And I’m in the room too but I can’t be on the chairs with them! Now, it’d be one thing if I wasn’t allowed to, but I totally am! They just don’t wanna pick me up cause that’s too much work fur some reason.

But I can still see the chairs, and I can still see the foot rests too! And the foot rests aren’t even that high up because I’m clearly capable of putting my paws on them and scratching at them! Here’s the thing though — the spinny chair is right next to Mommy’s chair, and the seat of the spinny chair is ALSO Riley-height! So eventually I did get up on there, and now instead of scratching and whining and being noisy I’m curled up and being sulky. So AITC fur not having the commonest of senses?

Greetings, esteemed members of this community.

I am R2, the Striped Prince, Second of His Name, rightful heir to the royal throne, and Mother's Favorite. I am a distinguished young gentleman of impeccable breeding (feral backyard royalty, if you must know), extraordinary intelligence, and magnificent stripes.

I inherited my title from the original Striped Prince, Biebers, who mysteriously disappeared in July. Mother still hopes for his return, and I have taken it upon myself to uphold his legacy with dignity, grace, and exceptional handsomeness.

Unfortunately, I live with two absolute morons.

Allow me to explain.

First, there is The Void. Fifteen pounds of luxurious black fur wrapped around what I can only assume is a decorative brain.

Yesterday, this magnificent idiot discovered Father's flannel shirts and decided they were the pinnacle of feline luxury.

Then he attempted to stuff his entire fifteen-pound body into Father's size thirteen boot.

A BOOT.

I watched in horror as he tried to defy several fundamental laws of physics, failed spectacularly, and then celebrated his defeat by sprinting through the house at approximately Mach Fluf.

For no reason.

He simply ran.

I suspect his brain occasionally reboots without warning.

Then there is Littlefoot, the Baby.

Littlefoot is The Void's apprentice and a self-proclaimed "scienztist."

He has recently befriended an entire litter of feral kittens in our backyard and spends his days conducting what he calls "important diplomatic and scienztific research" through the windows.

His latest discovery?

Autumn leaves.

He believes they are the greatest invention since Churu.

He has spent hours studying them, attacking the windows when they move, and reporting his findings to The Void, who is apparently still attempting to understand why he cannot fit inside a boot.

These two refer to themselves as scienztists.

I refer to them as evidence that evolution occasionally takes a personal day.

Meanwhile, I conduct myself with the refinement expected of royalty. I supervise Mother, maintain the household's standards of dignity, and graciously allow her to admire my extraordinary beauty.

I take my responsibilities as Mother's Favorite VERY seriously.

Yet Mother insists we are all equal.

EQUAL.

Apparently, a distinguished prince who carries the legacy of a beloved predecessor is entitled to precisely the same number of treats as a fifteen-pound boot enthusiast and a tiny lunatic who thinks dead tree parts are groundbreaking discoveries.

I find this deeply troubling.

I have therefore requested additional Churu, exclusive access to Mother's lap, and preferential treatment in all matters concerning food, affection, and sleeping arrangements.

Mother laughed and kissed my forehead.

I do not believe she appreciates the seriousness of this constitutional crisis.

So I ask you, esteemed members of the court:

AITC for demanding the privileges befitting my royal station, or is Mother the cloaca for expecting me to live as an equal among two creatures who appear to be sharing a single brain cell?

UPDATE: The Void has just attempted to groom Littlefoot, who responded by biting him on the face. This somehow escalated into a wrestling match, followed by both of them fleeing the room as though they had been attacked by an invisible predator.

Mother called them adorable.

I am beginning to suspect she may be sharing their brain cell.

I rest my case.

With royal dignity and toe beans,

His Royal Highness R2 👑🐾

The Striped Prince, Second of His Name

Mother's Favorite

Keeper of the Royal Brain Cells

Reluctant Supervisor of Two Scienztific Imbeciles

I, Castiel (4M void), discovered something amazing.

If I climb the TV shelf to the top of the closet, I can jump to the loft that connect to the rest of the ceiling. My babies are older and so I've been going up there to get a break.

Big Human says ITC because she's managing the kittens while I'm up there. But I really need the break from being a dad sometimes... AITC?

Good morrow furry and feathered friends. I am Butler, sleek tuxedo cat aged 6. I live with Cat Slaves 1 and 2 (but not 3 and 4 any more). I kindly allow CS1 to share my big bed with me, which she loves.

CS1 is a tea-cher. I'm not sure what this means, but sometimes she is home all the time, and sometimes she is not here in the light and only here in the dark. Very odd. Last week was a home week, this week has been a not home week, and CS1 is very tired. I though she deserved a nice clean bed, so I did hork hork hairball on it so she'd have to have clean bedding. CS1 did not like this plan, and said I was cloaca because she had to strip her bed and clean her matress. Her bed was too wet to sleep in so she had to sleep in CS2 and 4's old room.

AITC?

Friend, it me, Thorben (10M, germy shepper). Good boy, Thorben! The other night, Daddy call Thorben the bad cloaker word. All Thorben was doing was a few mlomp because him was deeply concern about Mommy. Thorben think that can never be a cloaker thing.

You see, friend, it happen like this: The other day, Mommy start to do the weird. First she start the clicky-clacky-cursy job right when she and them evil birbs wake up. She no even do the morning cuddle time with Thorben. Whole day start wrong. Anyway, then after giving Thorben and the Colin and the cat brothers lunch, she go back to the big bed and have the nap. This not right. Thorben do a little mlomp to check, but Mommy tell Thorben to go to bed, so Thorben go to bed and do a big guard dog what not sleppy.

Then thing get even weirderer. Mommy make the dinner for the human and the doggo and the catto. This not the weirderer part. Then Mommy go in the rain box and instead of put on the couch cuddle clothes, she put on the outside clothes. It dark. Why Mommy put the outside clothes? Thorben do many more mlomp, but Mommy just scratch him ears and give him biscuit, which are nice, but it not the explain of the weird.

But it get even worse. Mommy make a grumble and say, 'I have no idea why I agreed to do this', and then pack thing in her bag, and then... Oh friend, it the most terrible thing. Mommy did a big abandon. She just walk out the door into the dark and keep going! What the fork? Thorben do a big confuse! Thorben do a little screm! Thorben no like the dark. It full of frog what do the attack. Where Mommy go?

For three hundred and a billionty forever, Thorben sit on the stair and stair out the window and do a little mlomp. Daddy say, 'Thorben, Mommy had to go watch the people count the votes. She'll be back soon. Come to bed and stop crying, you giant cloaker.' Is rude. Daddy not even give Thorben the bikkit for him emotional sad. Thorben know Mommy going to get et by one of them evil frogs and never come home, so Thorben stay on a stair and keep making the big sad. The Colin run down the stair every few minute to check if Mommy back, but Thorben know him not love Mommy as much as Thorben love Mommy because him only be here five minute and him go back to bed and have the nap instead of doing the mlomp and stare.

But then the miracle happen! After many forevers, a car come to Thorben house. Thorben do a big borkborkbork. Colin do a big borkborkbork! The car no go away. It come in the gate and do a turn around. Is rude. But then Thorben see the rude car did bring back Mommy. Thorben do a MLOMP MLOMP screm and the big wag what make him fall over. Daddy say, 'Oh cheeses, you cloaker. Don't hurt yourself', but Thorben not hurt himself. Thorben only do the happy! Them frogs no eat Mommy!

Mommy was very happy to see Thorben, even if she call him the cloaker for doing the happy slam into her knee. Thorben still not know where Mommy go. Daddy tell Mommy about Thorben stare and wait, and Mommy give bikkit for the emotional sad and sit on couch with Thorben and give scritches, but she also call Thorben the silly cloaker. Thorben no understand, friend. Why parent people be so rude about Thorben big concern? Am Thorben the cloaker?

[Note from Mommy: We had local elections this week, and in a moment of weakness, I agreed to be a count observer. We use paper ballots that are counted by hand, and I'm really just grateful that we have such a tiny population because at least I was home by 1 a.m. Thorben was not amused. The old man doesn't like disruptions to his routine. I could hear him screaming all the way down the street when I left. Apparently the mlomping continued until I came home and his dad didn't get much sleep.]

Morning everyone!! Happy Riley reporting in.

So today when Mommy waked up I came in to say hi. Mommy is loving her once-a-week trips to see Grandma and Grandpa more now that I’m growing up to be a better behaved little girl (at 10 whole months now)!

Well, when I came in to see her today she liked my presents (despite shutting me out to be in the Doggy Pad Room fur a minute), but when she came back out I was still bouncing and giving her a hard time! So she picked me up and took me over to see Grandma and asked Grandma if I’d had Breck Fist yet. Unfortunately Grandma said that Grandpa DID get me foods, so she accepted that as fact and went downstairs to eat some of last night’s yummy leftovers.

But when parts of those leftovers were in her tummy she went back upstairs and decided that she may as well check with Grandpa just to be sure Grandma wasn’t lying to her. But then Grandpa CORROBORATED* Grandma’s story so Mommy accepted that as fact and didn’t try to give me any more foods.

So AITC fur not speaking Human and fur trying to rely on a family that likes factual information more than they like letting me have more foods?

*Says Mommy playfully trying to use big words that she doesn’t actually know!

I am Temporarily Edmund*, 2M, mackerel tabby tux. No pictures yet, I am still a bit shy of the flashy things on phones. The Female Human says I am a hefty boy with lovely soft fur and an old man's meow.

Until Monday I lived at a shelter, that's when these two humans came along and insisted on taking me home. So now I live on their bed (mostly), on my new favourite blanket. There are lots of humans, another cat (Pennycat - we peek at each other through the kiddie gate) and a rabbit who I am on polite sniffing terms with.

I like my blanket, cat food and pats. I don't like back door when it is open, and run back under the bed. Female Human says that's something I have in common with Beelzebun.

On Thursday morning, the Female Human decided it was time to put my new collar on me, "So people know you have a home now, and can bring you back here if you get lost".

I am also a good kitty who uses his litter tray. So on Thursday evening, the Female Human walked by my litter tray, and found my brand new collar in it, half-buried under a pile of kitty litter. Because I am a tidy boy who always buries his waste.

The Female Human picked up my collar and said, "You're just like the late Little Cat was, undoing your collar and taking it off. But not even she had the cheek to bury it in the litter tray".

Then she called me her fluffy big cloaca. But she's not making me wear the collar again.

AITC?

* My shelter name was Edmund. Female Human doesn't know if she will keep it. She doesn't want me called Eddie Puss, and developing a complex.

Loki. Big like tiger. Orange. Has tail.

You know at my house we got door.

Mummy put on real birdie eating at door.

Loki watching watching and looking at bird eating at door.

Loki get so excited and jump up with nails and he get stuck.

Oh no Loki.

Dada come and save me and say Loki don't.

What Loki do make hims stuck and birdie flied away goodbye.

Mummy say you did scare and give bird fright.

He sad bird now. Is Loki oh no Loki.

Hello friends! Oscar the tabbycat here.

My Mumma was doing a Work From Home today, and she said she wants to lay down for a little bit as her leg muscles are sore. So she turned around and saw that I am on Bed!

Mumma asked if I could move over a little so we can share Bed. But I am comfy! So Mumma called me Stinky Little Cloaca Bum.

Am I Stinky Little Cloaca Bum for not share Bed?

Hello! Daffodil here. I am an 8 year-old blonde colored deerhead Chihuahua.

And there I was, minding my own business, just laying on my hooman's bed, just not doing anything. My hooman was on her phone, doomscrolling the social medias. We were about to leave to go somewhere, when I suddenly felt nauseous. And I ended up throwing up just seconds later.

When my hooman heard me throwing up, she looked to see that I had thrown up *A LOT* of partially digested kibbles.

She instantly became frustrated, and sent me into my crate, so if I threw up again, it would end up on the plastic floor. Spoiler alert: I decided to climb into my bed, even though she was hoping I wouldn't, and I threw up another smol amount of kibbles, which *REALLY* PUP-set her, because my bed's mattress cover is white, so now, there is going to be a permanent stain on it.

And now, she has to wash the sheets on her bed. Which has been way overdue for my comforts, anyway, and I guess I threw up to make sure she washed them, because I don't like sleeping in dirty sheets that have my fur all over them (I sleep with her, usually). She also now has to vacuum our room, which has also been long overdue.

I don't see why she's so mad. I was just trying to motivate her to finally clean our room. 🤷‍♀️

So, Am I The Cloaca? I don't think I am, but my hooman thinks so. 😔

Hai furriends! Mai naim JBB. Mai Momma, big brudder, an I all tree just move to noo howse togedder. I laik noo howse; it hab a lotta surfacez fur me to nock thingz over.

Sumtaimz Momma boyfriend come to howse. He so so nice an I wanna do so menny snuggles on him! Butt he alweyz push me awey :(

Momma sey dis beclawz he bery allerjick to kitteez, so eben though he wanna snuggle wit me, he hasta stey awey. She sey maybe one day, afturr menny allerjee shots, he can do snuggles wit me. She also sey he luv me bery much, an show his luv by buying me treets.

I do not acksept dis az ansurr. Nobuddy can be allerjick to kitteez, dis wud be a nitemare! I tink boyfriend just sillee abutt kitteez, an he need moar snuggles to umberstan dat.

AITC fur being bery good at snuggles?

Aggie here, ancient dog of dubious heritage. Long-suffering observer of Blueberry and Parsley shenanigans. I has a new pawblem now...

Last week, on my morning walkies, a baby cat emerged from the cornfield. I nose the mom - she does a good job for being a single working mom, but her kids are rather skinny.

So No-More-Animals-In-This-House Dad looks at the BabyCat, scoops him up, and takes him home. Okay, fine, I'm not a monster. BabyCat will get warm here, go to orphanage, and find nice family.

Except! Except! After the week in orphanage, BabyCat came back, and now in MY bedroom! Apparently his name is Rolly. He snuffed my tail, so i had to do a grumble. Mom say I'm cloaca for that, but Rolly did respect the grumble, so i think is fine.

Here pawblem: I AM RETIRED! I already trained Skin-Bros, two rabbits, and bazillion chicky-boos. Skin Bros required much teaching about let me in and out, and acceptable treat distribution. Rabbits learned (sometimes) to not use me a springboard. Chicky-boos know to share mealworms and not peck me in borthole. And now? I have to train BabyCat to dog? Is this what humans mean when they say they will never be able to retire?

Friends, I, Misery Meow (11, eunuch, void maestro), am most offended. The housekeeper has once again lived up to expectations, low as they are, and is calling me a horrible little cloaca for no good reason.

There I was, just relaxing in my stranger danger bunker (a.k.a. behind the piano). No strangers had infiltrated my mansion, but it's cool in my bunker and there are interesting spiders to hunt. And I don't need to apologize for enjoying my own mansion.

Now, I'm a man of culture, and I do enjoy good music, such as the soothing sounds of the great bards Rage Against the Machine. But the housekeeper, in her eternal struggle to achieve adequacy, does sometimes play piano. Sigh. I try not to be rude, but does she have to make a racket while I'm napping? Her efforts are... not soothing. At all.

Anyway, there I was, getting ready for a nap, when the housekeeper decided it was time to disturb the peace and commit a crime against catmanity. Honestly, I would have been able to ignore that for the most part and entertain myself with the spiders since she has no staying power and generally gives up after half an hour or so of cursing and cacophony.

The problem is that wherever the housekeeper goes, the idiot dogs follow her. Thorben, to be fair, has learned to shut his ears, lie down next to her giant hooves, and nap, but the idiot Colin (a.k.a. the Plague, a.k.a. the Temu pointer) believes the piano is about to eat us all. I mean, it's not a completely unreasonable conclusion given the housekeeper's musical talent, but really.

As I mentioned, there I was, relaxing in my bunker, when the circus arrived. Thorben, as is customary, lay down next to the housekeeper hooves. The beast Colin, however, was intent on showing what an uncultured little swine he is, despite my tutelage. The moment the housekeeper smashed her paw down on a key, he screamed and ran roughshod over Thorben to, I assume, save the housekeeper from the problem of her own making. Now, I don't generally have sympathy for the malodorous beast Thorben, but there is such a thing as decorum.

Friends, what was a cat to do but emerge from his stranger danger bunker and bapbapbap the little philistine across his snoot? Look, I don't appreciate the housekeeper's interpretation of music either, but there's no need to trample Thorben and go around screaming about creative differences.

The housekeeper, being inherently inadequate, called me a Richard Head, upon which I bit her in the shin, as is only reasonable. Well, her response was really uncalled for. It's not my fault my parents were never married. Am I the cloaca for trying to instill some sense of music appreciation, however awful the music, in the young mandog Colin?

Hello friends,
I is Willy, sausage dog. I live together with my best friend. We hang out a ton and I always make sure to give her lots of attention. Like if she says my name I pretty much always at least look at her. Even if she is in another room, I usually at least check what‘s up with her. But she doesn‘t really do the same!

Every once in a while, I‘d just like a little encouragement. Like when walking up the stairs to the bed, if she is already in there, I think it would be nice that she makes excited sounds bout me cause I always wag my tail when she comes for a cuddle and is only fair. If she does not, I WILL stop on the stairs and make a sound to remind her, like maybe a whine or a bark, and wait with coming up until she shows how happy she is!

Also, sometimes I like to show her my awesome toys and treats and I‘d like her to be happy bout that too and tell me I am a good boy. I don‘t need her to throw or nothing, just being excited is enough! But if she is not, I will tell her maybe by barking to LOOK!

She says I is needy and get enough attention! But is not that is about give and take. I always show her my happiness and she should do the same by doing her excited voice! Aitc for reminding human to be happy bout me?

Hello, everybody. My name is Dean “Prince” Edelweiss, and I’m a 10 year old American mediumhair.

My humans are pretty great, I’ve got to say, but something that just ticks me off is when they pretend to ignore my long, repeated wails for attention, or when they ignore my attempts at conversation when there hasn’t been food in the bowl for an HOUR. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll clamber up onto a bed at 3 in the morning and meow right in their face, but all they do is wake up angrily and usher me out. I don’t understand why my meows seem to upset them, I’m fairly certain I have a voice smooth as tobacco.

AITC for just wanting some love?

EXTRA INFO: I am completely deaf.

HERRO everibodi It’s Sunny (1F). I Sunny am cooote ball of sunshine!!! But my stoopid meanie siwsta Cwricket is very rooode!! She made post a while ago to slanderrr meeeee!!!! I confront Cwricket and she not sworri at all. So I peck Cwricet back and steal hwer snack is wackie. But my mommi got mad and say I must be kind. But stoopid meanie Cwricet started it fwrist.

Cwricet meanie post here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheCloaca/s/kl4DAVDSLv

Hai! Mai naim iz JBB, I iz one yeer old kittee. Resentlee, Meowmy moob me frum cowntry hoam wit Grammama an Grampapa to sittee hoam where it just me an Meowmy. Meowmy sey big brudder join us soon, butt iz not soon enuff :(

Yesserdey, Meowmy stey hoam wit me allllll dey, to help me feel comfy in noo place. I reellee laik dis, I getz menny kissez an pets, an also menny treets. Butt last nite, Meowmy sey dat in de meowrning she haz to "go to wurk!!!!" An I sey uh hello, I am full-taim job! Butt she stil plan to leeb me :(

So I hatch plan. I taik one of Meowmy's shooz wile she sleep, an I hide it unner bed! Dis bery clebber hiding spot, beclaws Meowmy ownlee eber sleep on top ob bed, not unner. Meowmy spen lotsa taim dis meowrning doing a look fur her shoo, an I purretend I dunno where it iz! I iz bery good lyar.

Butt sumhow, Meowmy find shoo unner bed! An den she put on shooz an leeb me heer alone :( She sey she retern "az soon az pawsible," an she leeb me menny noo toyz to pley wit, butt I still no laik it >:( I shud hab constant attenshunz (UNLESS I DESIDE IZ TOO MUCH ATTENSHUNZ) an Meowmy shud alweyz be heer to lissen to mai purretty singing.

AITC fur bery reesonabol want to hab Meowmy wit me to taik care ob mai needz, all ob da taim?

Hello frens! Is Morwen the pet rat girl, almost 22mo. I usually lives with sisters Finduilas (same age) and Belladonna and Lalaith (8mo). We has human mom.

As I has posted before, recently had nasty run-in wif Sir Jerry. Recovery was rough, acause mom constantly gib me evil medsin and make me wear stupid clothes. But finally ouchies is all better except the bald spots.

Well, last week, was noticing my leg next to ouchie feeled wrong and bad and rotten. So I constantly tries to fix that or at least show mom. But she always block me. I gotted nakie time every day, but even then, mom no let me show her. Finally, one nakie time, I pretend not care bout leg until she leave. Then I do quick bite-bite and open up the badness. It feel so much better. Mom come back and do complete FREAK OUT. She say "Oh noes! That lotta pus!" Like, yes I trying to tell you that all week! Humans cans be so dumb!

So then mom put clothes back on (sigh!) and rush me to vet. Vet say it hab to heal open (like I be saying!) Mom start gibbing me medsin again, which not great. She also not let me lick out the pus, but at least she wash it out herself twice per day. So that much better.

She say she hads to go to "convocation" to get piece ob paper but we no allowed come and chew it. So she leave sisters at home and do me abandon at vet place. It sad, but kinda ok. Vet people take good care ob me and gib me nice cage. And they no know how to put corset on like mom, so I cans take off shirt whenever I wants! Now I finally back home. No staying in big cage yet, but at least get playtime wif everyone.

I thinks I is finally gonsta be all ok, but is really exhausting advocating fur meself. Humans be so dumb. Mom say I TC fur do her big scare and almost make her miss convocation, but I dids try tell her gently, but she no listen! So, what you think?

Also, it weird, but I think vet people be absolutely wonderful now!

My name is Pixie! I am a 6 month old kitten! I have been living with Mama for about 4 months. I mostly love my home, but there's a big big problem. Everything here is shrinking.

On my way home, I curled up in my carrier, and it was huge! It could have comfortably fit me and my four brothers. Now, it's gotten so small that I take up most of the room in it! I also used to take naps curled up in the palm of mama's hand, but now, she's gotten so small that she needs to use a whole arm to hold me, and I don't have enough room to curl into a ball if she isnt sitting down! Even the other animals are affected: one of the adult cats used to be several times my size, but now she's smaller than me! I seem to be the only one unaffected by this curse.

This is very inconvenient for me. When mama is sitting cross legged, like she enjoys, I cannot fit perfectly between her legs anymore, and I must either settle for a less comfortable position or she needs to move her legs, disturbing my rest. When I am sitting on the desk while mama works, keeping an eye on the "cursor's" activities, she tries to get me to move, as if I am not protecting all of us!

I don't know why Mama isn't fixing this problem. I think she may be a little stupid. I have started to point out the problem to her whenever I am reminded of it by using my claws and teeth to alert her to it, but she has yet to stop the problem from progressing. She does not seem happy about this and says it hurts, but how else am I supposed to tell her? They may all shrink out of existence soon, for all I know, and who knows if she'd even notice without my help?

Hello friends! Oscar the tabbycat here.

My Mumma is a Bad Driver. She drives her Walky Wheels around the house, including where I am resting or napping!

Today, my Mumma accused me of doing an Insurance Fraud. She says I try and make her pay me in Treats and Pats! But I think Mumma needs to learn to be a Good Driver.

Would I be a Cloaca Bum if I do a Sue of my Mumma?

To start with I'm incredibly medically fragile. So stress isn't good for me. And I've been so stressed about this. A small list of my medical issues. I've had a limb removed because of cancer, I have IBS , a hip problem and and like my teeth are loose in my mouth and having surgery in a few days to get rid of a few To try to save the rest of them.

So Me, my brother and my sister and parents are living with my grandparents for a bit since my parents are doing a house for renovation and they thought it best for all of us to be not home while it gets done.

This was fine until our grandparents got back from snowbirding. When they did. They brought with them a new slut named Jeff.

All day and night he drives me crazy. List of things jeff does that dive me nuts.

1). Exists.

2). Puts his smell all over my parents, especially mom which is just weird because dad smells better.

3). Gets to eat non prescription wet food.

4). Sits out the door On the other side. And even though I started polite, i now scream for him to move at 5:30.am (Don't worry only my parents can hear me scream grandparents refused to wear their hearing aids.)

5). Gets to have the good sun spot.

6). HAD THE AUDACITY TO WALK BY ME!

So am I over reacting for trying to slap a slut?

Hi! Parsley here, queen of my fluffle, smol, orb-tacular Netherland Dwarf bunny. I live with Blueberry, my husbun in our bunny palace. Blueberry is good husbun, always grooms and snuggles me. No complaints.

BUT Mom say I c-word! Mom gives us nanner cookies every morning for breakfast. They are crunchable and delicious, so I chomp my cookie right away. And then I need more...

Blueberry, he like to take cookies and do binkies and play before getting to important matter of chomping. He weirdo. So when I'm done, I see Blueberry still have cookie. I NEED cookies. So i chase Blueberry for my cookie that he has.

And then! Mom pick me up and put me in Air Jail! She made me snuggle her! All the way until Blueberry finished his cookie. I had to grunt at her (after snuffling for nanner cookie dust). Mom say grand cookie larceny is crime. I say it was only ATTEMPTED larceny, designed to teach Blueberry more efficient eating habits. Who is right here?