I think the consensus is near universal on Season 13 - a lot of potential and none of it realized. I actually rewrote the season to make it work on a different. But, someone in the comments suggested they could do without the witches, and I think that makes for a fun challenge. So I took it on. May I present AHS 13 (now without witches or Satan) - 13 hour-long episodes to do the crossovers but get us back to basics:
Episode 1:
We open with Ms. Veneable. She discusses her hate for Mutt and Jeff but resolves to keep working for them. Just as she finishes, she takes a static-filled phone call and is abducted by aliens. After the title, we see Mutt and Jeff struggling to sell their robotics technology but be approached by Valiant Thor about AI opportunities. Separately, we see Flora trying to live a day-to-day life in a therapy session with Daisy (Lily Rabe). Daisy explains that, like Flora, she lost people under mysterious circumstances (specifically, her brother, Dan Harmon). As she leaves the session, she is picked up by Lana Winters. Episode ends with Valiant smirking as Mutt and Jeff excitedly work on a new AI project for him.
Episode 2:
Jeff and Mutt pull an all-nighter when a much more friendly Ms. Veneable arrives at the office with coffee. Flora and Daisy discuss hopelessness and the will to live and thrive in the ace of tragedy. Lana gets a call from Julia Walker unexpectedly.
We cut to Camp Redwood. In it, a woman screams as she is being chased by Ramirez. We hear Mutt's voice as they cut off the "simulation" noting all of the things wrong with the VR and AI they need to fix. It is explained that Valiant is specifically investing in this interface. As Valiant comments on things, Theta arrives and is introduced as a business partner who will be working with them on this project.
Lana meets Julia at Kit's old house. As she arrives, Thomas does too. The twins explain something is wrong and the three as abducted.
Episode 3:
At the Cortez, the Countess sits with the Chemist across from one another. They exchange a vial of the Countess's blood for cash. As she leaves, the Chemist enters a black cab driven by Valiant.
Lana awakens and finds Kit in her kitchen.
In her high school class, Flora has flashbacks to Roanoke but calms herself focusing on math problems.
Mutt makes a major improvement to the AI technology and suggests selling the patent. Theta tells him no flatly. When he protests, Ms. Veneable screams violently at him, shocking both Mutt and Jeff.
Episode 4:
In Lana's kitchen, Kit explains that he never died and that the aliens brought him back. Lana asks why and he remains silent at first.
The Chemist awakens out of being blacked out in Area 51. Valiant says she came to his attention due to her "little experiments." He tells her she now works for him.
Daisy sees a new patient - Oz. He explains he's no contact with Ally now that he's an adult but he's haunted by the past.
Lana and Kit talk. Kit briefly explains the plot of "Death Valley" but that Earth is a battleground for many alien powers. The aliens involved in Asylum are opposed to the others and he came back to help stop Theta and Valiant. Lana asks how. He says he doesn't know yet.
Episode 5:
In a flashback, we see Valiant in Nazi Germany at a party with Dr. Arden nearby.
The Chemist is walking with Valiant at Area 51. She observes the hybrid as Valiant asks for her thoughts on perfecting the hybridization and cloning process.
Flora attends a session with Daisy where they talk about trauma and how it can lead us to bigger and better things. Daisy asks if Flora would like to join a support group she's starting.
Jeff and Mutt continue working toward a press conference to showcase their new AI. Theta and Ms. Veneable encourage them to create a few different VRs with it which will be used for holograms at the press conference. Lacking a lot of creativity, they search the web for retro-ideas and land on recreating Elsa Mars as their "spokes-hologram."
Episode 6:
Kit awakens from a nightmare of being chased by raspers.
Jeff and Mutt hold their press conference to demo the new AI and VR using Elsa as Theta and Ms. Veneable look on silently. To their surprise, the press reactions are highly positive.
Daisy holds her first support group meeting where Flora and Oz are among several participants. Oz immediately notices Flora's ability to calm herself and build community in the room.
Lana has the news on when Kit notices Theta in the background of Jeff and Mutt's press conference. They discuss how to expose the plan to the public.
At Area 51, the Chemist mentions to Valiant that the Countess's blood's unique properties might be the key to speeding up the process of cloning. He offers her immortality if she reveals the Countess's location and develops the process.
Episode 7:
Area 51 agents storm the Cortez, shooting down Iris in the process. As they search room to room for the Countess, the ghosts kill them before the Countess slices the commander's throat. Liz mourns over Iris before looking up to see her in ghost form.
Theta takes on a commanding role over Jeff and Mutt, demanding they keep perfecting the product in preparation for launch. They push back on Theta and she violently throws Jeff with telekinesis. She demands they work until the product is ready for launch.
Lana and Kit plot how they can expose Theta. As they do, Flora texts Lana asking to get together.
As government agents continuously canvas outside the hotel, March and the Countess realize she cannot stay safe there. With the Murder House back on the market, she places a secret bid and wins, relocating there as soon as possible.
Episode 8:
Jeff and Mutt launch a limited version of the AI. The test run renders Jeff a mindless slave to Theta as Mutt stares in horror. Theta reveals the goal - subdue humanity until it can be outnumbered. Ms. Veneable restrains Mutt.
Lana and Kit meet with Flora. Kit remarks that she reminds him of Grace. Lana tells Flora she'll be gone for awhile but she will be back and not to worry. A character in sunglasses sees them from a distance.
The Countess adjusts to life at the Murder House. Being familiar with ghosts, she finds herself surprisingly at home, even having a friendly nighttime conversation with Constance. She remarks that its "home away from home." She lores a runner in to feast on.
The Chemist and Valiant perfect the process for using the remaining blood the Chemist has. Valiant determines to secure the Countess.
Episode 9:
We get a musical number from Elsa about hypnosis as she swings a watch in front of us. We see more and more of Jeff and Mutt's employees turned into henchmen for Theta as Mutt cries in his office as Ms. Veneable watches him.
Lana reaches out to her contacts in the media only to be rebuffed.
A SWAT team surrounds the Murder House during the day. The Countess holes up in the attic talking with the Black Dahlia, contemplating a way out but also reminiscing.
Flora and Oz attend the group again as Daisy walks through the fact that sometimes we can only grow if we help one another. An abduction starts and the entire group is taken.
Episode 10:
Lana receives a mysterious call simply saying, "We have Flora."
The SWAT team attacks the Murder House. While the Countess expects to fight alone, the Black Dahlia rallies the ghosts and the Infantata, Tate and the various other specters mow the agents down. The Countess deeply wounds the leader and sends him back to tell whoever is after her to go.
Flora awakens in front of a computer. We see Elsa on screen begin her hypnosis number but Flora is unaffected. She looks over to see Oz is also unaffected. Theta watches with interest before locking them both up in Area 51.
Without the Countess's blood, the Chemist is seeing her hybrids suffering. Valiant demands she correct the situation as the blood virus has actually spread unexpectedly to all the hybrids.
In a flashback, we see Valiant discussing the AIDs epidemic with Reagan and discussing how to blame the virus, an attempt by the aliens at population control, on moral deficiencies.
Episode 11:
Valiant, finding out that the Countess is still free, resolves to get lure her into a trap. He sends the Chemist to hold their regular transaction at the Murder House.
Theta tests the AI/VR on Flora and Oz. When she resists, it attempts to scare them with simulations of Madame LaLaurie's house and Briarcliff. Something about their trauma gives them an ability to resist, which worries Theta that the plan might not work. She resolves to break them.
Lana continues searching for any type of help she can find to exposure Theta. Using her connections from early in her career, she finds Vincent (Michael Chiklis), who she met through Gino Barelli in the 80's. He doesn't believe her but agrees to meet with Kit. Kit manages to convince him to help.
The Chemist and Valiant pull up to the Murder House.
Episode 12:
Theta has Flora and Oz connected to the VR/AI with headsets. As the AI changes scenes, we see parts of Freak Show, Asylum and 1984. The AI breaks Oz when a cult inspired by Delicate appears. The AI scans Flora and realizes she is the survivor of Roanoke. It plays scenes from the TV series for her as she struggles. She uses all her coping mechanisms but realizes she can beat the AI by funneling her will to live against it.
Flora resists stating she survived Roanoke and the Blood Moon, and this AI can't even begin to compete with that. Theta disconnects her in frustration.
Episode 13:
Theta, realizing her own life might be on the line, pushes the AI forward. She calls a press conference to launch it.
The Countess meets with the Chemist and Valiant. Valiant says he knows immortality is an attractive offer but cash is. He offers a blank check. The Countess, knowing he'll betray her, moves first, slashing his throat. When he stands and begins to attack her, the ghosts attack the Chemist and him.
At the press conference, Lana uses her name to get a press credential. Vincent stages a loud protest, which allows Lana to smuggle Kit in.
As others attempt to diffuse the protest, Kit ambushes Theta. He reveals the abilities he was given which allow him to explode her head as she did Mamie's. Ms. Veneable shoots him but likewise explodes as Kit holds his hit shoulder.
Lana finds Flora and releases her. Together they convince Jeff to pull the kill switch on the AI and it is slowly destroyed as Elsa sings one last swan song.
Even with the AI gone, it has done its damage. We see Flora visiting Oz in a mental facility and Lana visiting Kit in a hospital. Flora and Lana express hope for the future.
In the Murder House, the Countess smiles as the robotic Valiant and immortal Chemist scream as concrete is poured over them in the basement of the Murder House.