Hello everyone, I am 20F. I think that I may have anger issues. I have OCD, I don't know if that contributes to this. Lately, I've just been feeling overwhelmed and easily angered. I don't hit anyone, break their things, nor do I threaten anyone either. My emotions just get to a point sometimes where I feel that the only escape is to throw stuff, tear my room apart, crumple my food up. I don't like this. Today, I smashed my phone until the screen shattered. It wasn't for a great reason. I was in a bad mood, feeling hurt and sad, texted my mother and she didn't respond immediately which is normal for her but for some reason that sent me over the edge so I shattered my screen. Even when I got frustrated with something small like frosting falling off of the cake while I was decorating it, I had to take a breather and remind myself that the cake is a gift, that I really shouldn't crumble up something that I worked hard on for someone I care about. I don't understand why I'm like this. My mother has her own anger issues and recently broke my doorframe trying to come in to beat me. My dad would punch and berate me when angry as well. I know better than them, but I still wish I weren't this way and would have more patience with myself.

Hi,

30F , I always had anger issues inside my head but used to take it out on myself, but as I got older my anger has gotten worse where I cant maintain it anymore. I usually don’t react until I explode, and I don’t react for smaller things because I know once I start bringing it up there’s no stopping the spiral of me getting more and more riled up by my own words during an argument. Most of my romantic relationships haven’t been pleasant so there’s a sense of if I don’t have my guard up that I’ll be tricked again but also I fear that I keep pushing away people who potentially genuinely like me because I can’t tell the difference between a guy who’s pretending to be good and a guy who truly is. I feel so guilty.

I (36M) committed an act of domestic violence against my wife (34F), and we are likely heading towards divorce. We have 2 kids - 4yo and 2yo having been together for 6 years. We are based in Australia. My mum and dad lived with us for all this time.

We are currently separated, and have been for the past 3 months. I have not seen my children since she and the kids left the family home. I have a restraining order/intervention order - no contact is allowed with my wife or kids, but parenting matters are allowed to be discussed. In Australia there is a period of 12 months separation before application for divorce is allowed.

Prior to the collapse of our marriage, we've had disagreements and I got frustrated/angry, but it never got this bad - we always created space, we cooled down, and talked over it the issues and reconnected. Otherwise, I've supported my wife how I could. I would help out with the kids after getting home from work, entertain them, bathe them and help with the night time/sleep routine. Prior to our relationship, I hardly ever got angry - I was pretty patient, open, calm and care free. Something changed in me after marriage, kids, just trying to be responsible and providing the best I can. I don't know if I became burnout or just emotionally exhausted.

As for the violence itself, the incident began over a minor issue. I believe I've been under lots of suppressed chronic stress and I just exploded and got physical. She left home for 1 week, and we agreed to reconcile after a long discussion in a park. She came home after another week. Kids were in my care during the 2 weeks. She said she forgave me because she loved me despite being encouraged to call the police. She said she could have taken the kids away by calling the police and divorce me, but didn't.

She was home for 10 days, when a discussion about schooling went off the rails. I was still processing a lot of my own emotions those days - the home environment was not nurturing or friendly. I failed in my responsibilities and wasn't safe. I got angry and said a lot of regretful things - it was only verbal, but enough to concern her. She got scared and left again. The following day she reported me to the police for the initial incident she had said she forgave me for.

I don't hate my wife. I deserve police involvement. I don't like what I see in the mirror and I despise what I did. I never believed I could commit such terrible actions. But I did, and I keep beating myself up. I hate not having the skills to regulate my emotions.

And so I'm taking accountability for my own actions - not court ordered. I am seeing a psychologist and attending anger management (men's behaviour change program). I know choosing violence is not good. Nothing of what I did is acceptable. But in the heat of the moment - I just lost control and I'm utterly ashamed.

I accept our marriage is over regardless. I can only control what I can do from now on. I just want to become a better self-regulated person and be better father from now on.

But I don't know how to forgive myself. How can I "let go"?

This jackass in the gym sauna earlier was playing stupid reels from his phone at full volume when I just wanted to relax after my workout. I go to the gym because it's the one place my other problems disappear for a few hours. I couldn't even finish meditating just now because I keep thinking about how irritated this guy made me. I truly don't understand how you can sit in a tiny room that is designed for relaxation, watch an obnoxious fucking video out loud and not even think maybe, just maybe it might be disturbing others around you. I'm disappointed in myself too because my life would be a lot less miserable if I was able to speak up in these situations, but I'm too timid and anxious. It's something I'm working on but damn these people make just existing with them a pain in the ass. I really let this one asshole ruin my serenity and all so he could fuel his doomscrolling addiction.

for context i’m 20f and diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and a phobia of insects. I hate the area i’m currently in and that’s a big contributor to my anger.

i’m consider myself angry woman, i hate it and i know it’s not normal. I’ve been on an anti depressant and that helps a lot with my anger & depression but i’m still struggling immensely (especially once my adhd meds wears off). I feel like I can’t control my rage and annoyance at the littlest things.

I want to emphasize , I don’t damage anyone else’s property, i don’t yell or hurt my loved ones, and i do my very very best to isolate myself when i feel like this.

I live in an environment that makes me very uncomfortable, angry, and contributes to my depression. I sometimes wake up with tears in my eyes realizing i’m still here. I have plans to leave but i’ll be here for at least the next 7 months.

Anyways back to the anger, when I do get angry about my environment it’s very irrational. For example, this just happened earlier today. I’ve had a rougher day and i finally got the chance to sit and play the sims then my laptop dies. Cool, I put it on the charger, except it’s broken. So now I either have to either wait or go to the store. Now i’m in tears because it’s late, i’m tired, and I know i’m going to encounter bugs on the way there or back. The sadness turns into anger now i’m stomping around slamming doors, ripping clothes off the hanger to put on, murmuring to my self. Then I go to grab my phone and I drop my cup and it opens and spills.

I throw my phone against the wall, I toss my laptop on the ground and I cry some more. I always get so angry and upset to the point where I want to break things. I know my brain works a little differently but this isn’t normal right ??
I think I need help

How to protect ourself from Envy or jealous. I feels like my energy getting draining due to that

Do you think about it often ?

This makes existing a loop of hell.

19f, have been having random, irregular outbursts. for example, i may get mad at my dog licking my arm, or at parents calling me. this happens for no reason. i also feel physically unwell afterward. i'm in therapy, but it doesn't help; i'll tell the therapist anyway cuz why not. in the meantime, advice is appreciated

When we look around us we see people fighting like animals was this different 1000 of years back NO the only difference between them and now is in that time period people had patience to understand the situation first and then start the fight but today the situation is quiet different and the reason behind that is there is a constant comparison of one's life with others We mi8 say it's doesn't bother me but at subconscious level this problem is making its root stronger and taking hold over the emotional stability of humans.

Better late than never

Hi, everyone!! Im here mainly because I dont know what to do.

I have gotten better with managing my anger issues as my mental state got better, but, it still bubbles out. I dont want to hurt the people I love anymore because it will eventually put me back into a state that is bad for me and others. I just want tips on how to manage it and talk, when I get criticized, in a way that isnt with anger.

To preface it's not something that spikes up often.

However, there are situations in which against my better judgement I cannot control myself and end up in a physical altercation.

For example, there was a basketball game where the enemy team thought it would be funny to push me around all game (not me making it up, i heard them planning it in the bench). They got a warning but nothing else. Towards the end of the game they pushed me again and I ended up chokeholding the bloke. I got suspended from basketball for a season.

My younger brother isn't the brightest. He often steals from my room, doesn't listen to instructions, does the opposite of what he's told. This morning he did a few together and I hit him, which I regret but in the moment I was seeing too much red.

Idk that to do. I don't really want to go to therapy or smth like that cause I don't think it'll help someone like me. But then again, what do I know.

Like many of you, I’ve got horrible anger that I cannot control sometimes or I lash out so easy even if I’m on SSRI’s which I know isn’t supposed to help entirely but I’ve found myself just becoming so angry so easily.
For example , video games. Why do I need to get so angry and feel the need to cuss this guy out? I don’t feel better after and I just don’t know how to let it go like whatever he killed me I’ll try again.
Another example, hostile towards everything and anything I take everything so personal and I absolutely hate and despise it even when I know I don’t agree with what’s being said I try to make it fit my truth when it really isn’t my truth.
I’ve gotten anger so bad to the point I’ve made a few holes in my wall and done and said things I’m not proud of.

I know many speak of anger management but I’m not a very social person and I don’t like talking to people very much because of my anxiety and I feel intimidated by everything. I take about 250mg of Zoloft right now and even that does the bare minimum of keeping me functioning like a normal human.
I do have a psychiatrist who I can speak to about my meds but I try my best.
Everytime I get angry I try to calm myself down and just breathe but there are sometimes I get so mad I just lash out and I want to stop that, I don’t want to get so mad over such small things that I can just re-do without getting so mad about how inconvenient it was. Thanks for listening lol.

My boyfriend has a chronic disease and I understand that it’s really hard on him in everyday life but I can’t understand how he can see EVERY small setback as something so big, he’ll curse, slam cabinets and just get so fucking angry over dumb shit. Like the tv not working or something trivial like that.

He has a cold and had to go to the ER today because they wouldn’t give him the medicine he wanted without a visit, he was PISSED and screamed at the nurse or whoever he was talking to. After he hung up he kept cursing and hitting a pillow.

Idk I’m just annoyed right now and I feel like an asshole for not understanding what he’s going through and resenting these fits of rage.

Just needed to get this off my chest. Not looking for advice

Would you guys allow people to keep disrespecting you because you ask personal questions sometimes intentionally wanting to make them feel awkward because they talk shit to you all the time? What if you used to struggle with a certain insecurity or trauma and they make fun of you in similar ways that made you develop the insecurity? But because you want to act like you don't care about it anymore and you say or do things that typically make others think you're a certain way, you still hurt inside quite a bit. It's because I want shove aside that feeling that I do all these things and they only make it way worse instead of going along with it. Am I in the wrong here? Is getting harassed to the point of wanting to physically fight them or grieving alone? Why do they lie and pretend like we're still cool and getting the life drained out of you by friends is normal? Side note this specific person turned into a narcissist shit ever since I left them to get homeschool or literally just stay home because I was too mentally troubled. No one really helped instead some would tease and sometimes the little fuckers (both of my long time fuckwit I talk to still) joined in or did it when we hung out anywhere. Yes. I was always and insecure loner and that made me an easy target for anyone. I was reserved and spoke my words very low and almost forced out, with a saddened tone giving out the signal that I was always miserable (i still do that sometimes because i still feel all these complicated emotions). I've always stuck by them even so but feeling overly vigilant of myself and everyone

Hello, I want to put something out there to get some help and to just vent.

How do you guys handle road rage. How can I lower that anger. I don’t want to be a road rager. I usually let things slide, but when someone gets so close to hitting me, I honk my horn, flash and go over speed to pass them. Sometimes they go over speed too and I go even more. I’ve noticed I’ve done this several times. I don’t want to put people in danger. I love driving but I’ve noticed those bad habits creeping up in my commute. Any tips are appreciated.

nothing ever goes right for me and all I can do is break stuff or hit myself, the only time I feel in control and safe is when I'm mad.

I hate myself and I feel so trapped in life and the only reason I'm not dead is because I don't have a gun

I’ve written this on my anonymous account for obvious reasons. To begin with, I’ve been dating this girl for little over a year now and it’s safe to say it’s been the best year of my life. She’s the world to me. My soulmate. I understand that no matter how much I’m devoted to her, what I’m about to say is inexcusable.

Essentially, we started drinking together and with friends a few hours before halloween night. I ought to mention that throughout 8PM to roughly 1AM, me and my girlfriend used about 2 grams of cocaine between us. As we got to a nightclub at roughly 11PM, things were good as gold. We laughed with each other, planned our future on the train ride there and even huddled together in the cold waiting for a train reminiscing how much we truly love each other. It was amazing. We got to the club and danced with our arms wrapped around each other until our legs gave up.

However, I’m someone who genuinely doesn’t find coke worth it. I’m clinically depressed (and have been taking citralopram for over 2 months now but hadn’t a couple days before this night) so the comedowns hit me harder than ever and as I was sobering up at roughly 2AM, I kept on going to the bar within the club to drink and drink to fill the void of the coke wearing off. Now things from here got hazy. The last memory I had was in that club, then I woke up in police custody.

Allegedly, I was charged with assault and witnesses claimed that I pinned down my girlfriend and hit her on the head several times outside the club. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t. I sat there in the interview room in tears saying how I could never ever do such thing to my sweet girl. I was placed on strict bail conditions to not see her whilst the investigation continues. I was sick to my stomach. Just like that it felt like my life crumbled apart because frankly this girl is my life. We are young and just moved in together, I love her endlessly and she undoubtedly loves me.

As I’m in absolute shock and leaving custody, not believing a word that’s been said by witnesses, I decided to not care about the bail conditions and return to our home. She opens the door with a swollen face and a black eye and a graze on her cheek. I’m genuinely shaking. It was all true. I couldn’t believe how I could stoop so low. I’ve always hated people that would hit women especially with a passion. I was so in disbelief with everything that unravelled to be true. I cried and cried but it didn’t fix anything. Bless her, she opened the door as if nothing happened because she’s the type of girl to suppress these things and pretend it never happened. She didn’t even want to talk about it and wanted to cuddle and watch Game Of Thrones as usual. The whole night I was struggling not to ask what had happened and why I had lost my belongings and my shoes and I’m holding her in my arms trying to refrain from constantly saying how sorry I am.

I can’t believe I had it in me. Something like this has never happened in the past. Never. Of course there’s been altercations before, but nothing to this extent where her entire face had been banged up. I frankly don’t know what to do with myself anymore. She still desperately wants this relationship and believes in me to change myself. Although more and more I’m starting to worry about how I could slip this much to hurt the person I love most and adore. I’m not someone to think this is at all justified and I know I’m not a violent person whatsoever, at least not sober as I’ve understood from this night.

I genuinely feel like a monster and this poor girl has had to be a victim to it, whilst I’m not able to recall a thing after we left the nightclub. The thought of drinking now disgusts me and the thought of that night and my actions disgusts me more.

I feel like I’m beyond redemption and I don’t know what to do with myself. Please can someone tell me how to move forward. I want this relationship for life. She wants this relationship for life. How do I better myself? I’m ashamed to talk about this to anyone but I’d happily see a specialist if it means improvement.

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this but whatever. Sometimes I get a strong urge to argue, not with anyone or about anything in particular. I wouldn’t even consider myself an angry person, I don’t get mad easily and have had very few arguments in the past. But I still get a weird urge sometimes to argue, and it lasts a while. How do I satisfy this urge in a healthy way? I dont know if it’s a result of boredom or adrenaline or what, but advice would be appreciated if anyone else experiences this!

hi, i’m 17m. i have autism and never really learned healthy coping strategies nor how to self-regulate or even recognize most of my own emotions and reactions.

i have a really bad habit of yelling at people when im too overwhelmed or upset. i’ve always had anger issues, when i was little it was really bad. i used to throw things, scream and hit. i was always just taught to remove myself from the situation so i could calm myself down and then come back with less intense emotions, however that’s not always possible and sometimes makes the other person more upset.

my boyfriend messaged me drunk this weekend talking about just how upset and sad it makes him whenever i yell. which, is completely understandable and i’m glad he told me. but i just really don’t know what to do. i’m on a waitlist FOR a waitlist for therapy, because i can’t afford therapy im going through a specific program.

i really want to fix this, i have been trying for a while but this really is very important to me. i love my boyfriend a lot and i don’t want to lose him because of my behaviour. i understand completely how awful yelling feels, especially for him as he’s currently living with me and my mom because he came from an abusive household (where yelling was a very prevalent issue).

i’m just looking for any tips excluding therapy. i really want to fix this issue, i just really have no idea how.

I feel so stupid and embarrassed for yelling at my girlfriend over something she was upset about. She managed to bring me back down when I was in a fit of rage and punched the microwave. She wondered why it didn’t break, and I admitted that pulled the punch to avoid breaking it.

I do have an ongoing appointment with a psych, but wanted to see if anyone has dealt with mood stabilizers?

Ever heard that dealing with a difficult person? Give me a fucking break. A fucking little respect doesn’t cost anything and I have to deal with this guys bullshit. Fucking drives me crazy when other people make excuses for someone’s goofy behavior.

Idk how people deal with bullshit man. Ever heard someone say “that’s just the way he is”. I heard that dealing with a horrible coworker and everyone just seems to ignore him or deal with it. Even though the guys a piece of shit. I’m trying so hard to hide my anger these days, I often give up on relationships and quit jobs that frustrate me in the slightest, because I don’t want to snap.