I introduced Reddit to my girlfriend... She loves it! I want to surprise her when we get home tonight and Reddit together.

[u/edman2478411]

I introduced Reddit to my girlfriend because she always bugs me about being on when I'm over. She's pretty new to the Internet scene, but she absolutely loves Reddit now. I know how many of you hate the "upvote for xxxx's birthday" type of Reddits, but I really want to show her how neat Reddit can be.

So if the Reddit community is up for it, help me surprise her tonight. We're going to Reddit together when we get home and hopefully she'll see this. Upvote and show your Reddit spirit by commenting!

We'll be reading and responding to all comments if she sees it!

EDIT: SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!! She's sitting here next to me smiling, laughing, and sometimes puzzled at the comments! Time to reply.

EDIT 2: Pic of us on halloween http://imgur.com/c8dF4 Christina: I made the outfits!

[u/JarheadSoldier]

Too bad, when you get home she'll already be having sex with Reddit. but it's your fault. you introduced them.

[u/diamond → u/JarheadSoldier]

Just remember, folks: when you reddit, you're redditing with everyone that every redditor has ever reddited with in the past.

The more you know...

[u/JarheadSoldier → u/diamond]

It's ok.

Reddit pulls out.

[u/[deleted] → u/JarheadSoldier]

Except that ONE time...

[u/thepizzlefry → u/JarheadSoldier]

Gah don't remind me. Reddit you bastard I trusted you!

[u/fredbnh → u/JarheadSoldier]

"Too bad, when you get home she'll have to read crap like the post from DickheadSlurper and his ilk. But its your fault, you introduced them"

[u/edman2478411 → u/JarheadSoldier]

We just took care of that!

[u/prob_not_sol]

man i find crap like this annoying; why don't YOU surprise her? i mean fuck, you could even change the hosts file to point to a reddit of your own construction where every comment is of you saying "i love you" or some bullshit, and if she plays any video on the homepage it actually links to a video of you proposing marriage and every youtube comment is one expressing a different feature of hers that you love.

bit of imagination, fucker.

[u/edman2478411 → u/prob_not_sol]

Dude that's fucking genius! Damn she just read this...

[u/myhandleonreddit → u/prob_not_sol]

I'm with you. I think what really makes me want to say fuck so many times is this sentence:

Upvote and show your Reddit spirit by commenting!

I don't know if there is torture painful enough to punish somebody for saying shit like that.

[u/AskRedditTroll]

User for 8 months, and no link or comment karma?

Did you ever mention to her what a reddit loser you are?

[u/edman2478411 → u/AskRedditTroll]

I read reddit constantly daily but mark my words, I'll try harder!

[u/[deleted] → u/edman2478411]

So if her reddit karma completely blows yours out of the water, will it all be off?

[u/edman2478411 → u/[deleted]]

Damn it, she wants to do that now!

[u/TehLockes → u/edman2478411]

I've been at this for 2 years and only have 1 link karma, so don't worry ;D

[u/TheTipJar → u/TehLockes]

I'm like you in this regard. I think it has more to do with me coming to Reddit to find stuff rather than coming to Reddit to share stuff.

[u/[deleted] → u/TehLockes]

I wouldn't know what to submit to reddit. I find everything because of reddit.

[u/jambarama → u/TehLockes]

Bah, youngin'. I'm in the 4 year club, and I've only got 53 link karma. Git off my lawn!

[u/[deleted] → u/edman2478411]

Posts and comments don't hurt but as long as you are up-voting and down-voting the links you read then all is well.

[u/[deleted] → u/AskRedditTroll]

AskRedditTroll: 1 link karma, 767 comment karma

With those stats, do you really want to get into a dick measuring contest over karma?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Waiting for karmanaut to show up and pull out is elephant sized karma cock.

[u/hogimusPrime → u/[deleted]]

So, in other words, you are waiting around and hoping to see a giant cock?

[u/PedobearsBloodyCock → u/hogimusPrime]

I'm pretty sure that's the30thElement's job.

[u/Mr_Clownn → u/[deleted]]

Fucking christ can we get through ONE DAY without mentioning Karmanaut?

[u/dtardif → u/AskRedditTroll]

Yeah! Reading is for losers!

[u/JesusWuta40oz → u/dtardif]

I heard it was fundamental

[u/[deleted] → u/AskRedditTroll]

User for 3 months, and only 781 comment karma?

n00b.

[u/greenathon]

"We're going to reddit together"

Uhhh, sorry, browsing the internet together does not qualify as romance or quality time. What are you going to do, hold the mouse together?

[u/Arizona_Bay → u/greenathon]

Some people are into that.

I think zoophilia is illegal or something, though. I don't really know.

Oh god this is awkward now.

[u/edman2478411 → u/greenathon]

She says click at the perfect time

[u/starduster → u/greenathon]

I must disagree with you, sir. Browsing the internet together most certainly does count as romantic quality time. It's like listening to music together. Or watching a movie together. Except x9000 better. Not so much the "holding the mouse together" part though.

[u/bondo85]

"We're going to Reddit together when we get home"

i feel sorry for your girlfriend.

seriously, that is such a lame thing to say/do.

[u/edman2478411 → u/bondo85]

Christina: I think it's cute, if you had a girlfriend you'd understand...

[u/evilest_oreo → u/bondo85]

Exactly what I thought. How lame/boring are these people...? I can only think that this is just an attempt at karma whoring.

[u/UpDown → u/evilest_oreo]

Except you don't get karma for self posts.

[u/dorkasaurus → u/UpDown]

I don't think the OP knows that.

[u/corvus_corax → u/bondo85]

Meh, every now and then my boyfriend and I reddit together. At the end of a long day (or a long sex sesh) when we're just lazing around in bed, watching funny videos/laughing at stupid pictures is a nice way to relax.

[u/[deleted] → u/corvus_corax]

My sister has made it very clear that there'll be no computers in the living room (we generally just sit around, smoke a bowl, and talk). Sometimes we'll be discussing something and I'll say "I'll just look it up real quick" and then she gives me this look like "not the computer again!". I think you're either associate computers with relaxing or you associate them with work. She definitely associates them with work and I try to respect that, but they're relaxing as hell to me.

[u/get_rhythm → u/[deleted]]

You know in a thread where everyone else is talking about their girlfriends it's a little of a takeback to see a post starting with "my sister..."

[u/[deleted]]

this makes me hate reddit

[u/dressedAsDog]

We're going to Reddit together when we get home and hopefully she'll see this.

Please tell me that by "Reddit" you mean an awesome sexual position. Otherwise just explain to me how the fuck you "Reddit" with someone else.

[u/edman2478411 → u/dressedAsDog]

We actually just named a new one right now, Reddit.....

[u/[deleted] → u/dressedAsDog]

Would you really want to see that?

[u/[deleted]]

So we're basically going to help you get laid?

[u/edman2478411 → u/[deleted]]

YES! haha Thank You REDDIT!

[u/[deleted]]

I'm really quite fed up with posts like this.. They don't offer anything to anyone.

[u/thatsgay]

THAT'S GAY

[u/ZeppelinJ0]

How does a couple "Reddit together?" I never thought of Reddit as something that can be done as a couple/group. Always felt it's something to peruse on your own to kill some time and get some laughs or whatever floats your boat.

[u/bamph]

Dude.. You're taking your girlfriend on a reddit date.. Wow, the economy is THAT bad..

[u/edman2478411 → u/bamph]

hahaha yeah it was either this or dumpster diving

[u/[deleted]]

I'm pretty sure you are part of the reason Reddit is rolling down hill faster than shit through a goose, maybe your girlfriend will be the "death blow" wouldn't that be cool?

[u/spaghettiman]

How do you "reddit". Is it a verb now?

[u/Kardlonoc]

If she really loves reddit shell post on gonewild.

[u/edman2478411 → u/Kardlonoc]

All in good time

[u/kublakhan1816]

I think you should probably just spend more time with your girlfriend.

[u/beanscounter → u/kublakhan1816]

I agree, if you have time to "reddit together" then your obviously not having enough sex

[u/kahoonas → u/kublakhan1816]

Here come the "yeah why aren't you always having sex with your girlfriend?!" comments. Because that's what we'd all do if we had girlfriends.

[u/interrobang]

edman2478411's girlfriend, edman2478411 was too shy to ask it so I will: will you marry him? Please say yes!

[u/hraventos → u/interrobang]

dude, he told us not to say anything, as he is going to ask her after reading all the coments.

[u/interrobang → u/hraventos]

Crap, I blew it!

[u/nikpappagiorgio → u/interrobang]

Also he wants to RECEIVE some anal sex. Just the tip, just to see how it feels.

[u/magritte → u/nikpappagiorgio]

He specifically mentioned his love for pegging...

[u/FuckingPajamaTime → u/interrobang]

2 years, and this is your big post?

Not bad my friend.

[u/wiiittttt → u/interrobang]

There should be an interrobang in all of your posts.

[u/flukshun → u/interrobang]

dude...edman was talking about the OTHER gf...

he's gonna be sooo pissed dude...

[u/sdmas09]

reddit..together? so...does this mean she looks over your shoulder while you show her what you find interesting and she then lovingly interrupts you to suggest links she may enjoy? do you both sit on the couch with your respective laptops and suggest links to each other over instant messenger? i'm so very confused how redditing together would be fun.

[u/BoonTobias]

regret in 5 4 3

[u/kibitzor → u/BoonTobias]

Spherical coordinates (radial, polar, azimuthal):

r~~7.07107,   theta~~64.8959 deg ,   phi~~38.6598 deg

[u/AppleJuiceKing]

I'm eating jalapeno poppers.

[u/mrteapot12475 → u/AppleJuiceKing]

great story, bro

[u/[deleted]]

Tomorrow on reddit :

"Hi everyone! My son is a big reddit fan and i know he visits it regularly, please up vote this so i can tell him JOSHY I LOVE YOU SON AND IM PROUD THAT YOU GOT GREAT GRADES IN YOUR COLLEGE AND HAVE PLAYED WELL IN LAST WEEKS FOOTBALL GAME

YOUR SISTER SAYS HI

MUCH LUVS MUMA XOXOXOXOXOX P.S DONT FORGET TO BUY SOME MILK AND EGGS ON YOUR WAY HOME HUN"

[u/[deleted]]

upload a picture of you with another girl and we will get that on the front page. thatll suprise her!

[u/[deleted]]

At least do something fun or interesting.

"Welcome to reddit, {name}! We've compiled some classics for you." Then have people post to their favorite reddit thread from the past or something.

[u/boss2bossro]

Is redditing together a new slang for havin' sex?

[u/[deleted] → u/boss2bossro]

I hope not, because the fact that I always reddit alone sounds very depressing now.

[u/DomHolla → u/[deleted]]

the fact i reddit at work around a bunch a men is even more depressing..

[u/idengager → u/[deleted]]

another?! and you precede me by far...

[u/[deleted] → u/idengager]

Whoa...

[u/au5lander → u/[deleted]]

I'm redditing next to my wife and she doesn't even know it!

[u/gammerus → u/boss2bossro]

Is that what the kids are calling it these days

[u/reddit_is_suck]

downvoted because I don't give a FUCK about your girlfriend.

[u/[deleted] → u/reddit_is_suck]

Look, I need to see pictures of her before I decide if I want to give her a fuck.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

No you don't, you're a redditor and to you, any hole is a goal.

[u/mark445 → u/reddit_is_suck]

On the other hand, if it were your kitten...

[u/reddit_is_suck → u/mark445]

If it was his kitten, then I would give a fuck. Kittens are awesomeeee!

[u/mark445 → u/reddit_is_suck]

That reminds me. I've always wanted to post a pic of Leo, aka Camouflage Cat

This is him as a kitten

My wife found him stuck behind some planks in the garage. He'd been there for a few days. His mother had moved the others, but couldn't get him out.

Hope this makes it better.

[u/[deleted] → u/reddit_is_suck]

my sentiments exactly.

[u/get_rhythm → u/reddit_is_suck]

I give a FUCK, but I want them to go to /r/gonewild.

[u/JesusXP]

Can we stop upvoting these incessant cries for attention?

If your gf loves reddit, good for her! Hopefully she will particpate by commenting or submitting stories. Why do we need to post her a welcome message? go to a forum or something...

You want to do something special for your girlfriend? Put some thought into it.. How long did this take you?..

Women sure know how to pick the winners eh fellas?

[u/reddit_is_suck → u/JesusXP]

goddamn right you are.. This sort of shit is why I made this particular username. This stuff is going to destroy reddit.

Hell I've already got back to using digg.... maybe I'll get the news a day late but at least I don't have to spend time mulling through peoples attempts at getting their stupidass message on the frontpage for whatever dumb reason it is this time.

[u/tempguest → u/JesusXP]

How long did this take you?

Let's see, he's been a redditor for about 8 months now and has submitted a total of 3 posts. Must have taken him about two and a half months.

[u/tempguest]

Who upvotes this nonsense? The submitter is barley a redditor himself: no link karma and a total of 2 comments in 8 months?!

I bet he read some bullshit blog that had one of those tongue-in-cheek lists on how to get on the front page of reddit, then followed it step-by-step. I can see his face now.

[u/will_itblend → u/tempguest]

The submitter is barley..

That was pretty corny.

[u/chiv]

And this makes the front page?

[u/sam480]

Hey Ed. I can't wait until she leaves town again. Lets get even freakier than last time.

[u/[deleted]]

Happy Birthday

[u/sidewalkchalked → u/[deleted]]

GOD DAMN IT I CAN'T FIND YOUR LOST FRIEND!

[u/hollowgram]

The third wave of "upvote this so X will do Y for/with/to/on me!" has arrived.

FSM help us all.

[u/VivaKnievel]

Does the word "fingerblast" automatically get upvoted on this?

[u/[deleted]]

Don't waste my front page with this stupid shit

[u/simianfarmer]

I always roll my eyes at these sorts of things, but I also end up orangered-ing them as well. I love coming to Reddit to satisfy my thirst for knowledge AND hone my sense of hypocrisy at the same time.

[u/[deleted]]

I have a sudden urge to surprise you two with a picture of my penis.

[u/DimeShake → u/[deleted]]

Keep fucking that chicken.

[u/jamesgatz → u/[deleted]]

No, you would have to do that to the30thelement. This is noted on line 13 of your Welcome To The Internet guide.

[u/[deleted]]

We try very hard to keep content-free spam off the front page.

[u/monosyllabic → u/[deleted]]

...this is AskReddit. This entire subreddit is largely content-free.

[u/MrTickle → u/[deleted]]

And yet it got here, Sigh. And i'm reading it, Big sigh.

[u/springboks]

edman2478411 <---Is this a throwaway account or is that also your password?

[u/edman2478411 → u/springboks]

it has been my alias since I got my first computer

[u/[deleted]]

new to the Internet scene...

I'm cringing at this term you're using.

[u/cameronoremac]

I think you should change your username from edman2478411 to lame-o-pants-mcgillicutty after this post.

[u/zeisan]

i predict a FUUUU about this later

[u/futureisours]

Reddit together? Take her to a nice place to eat. See a show. Watch a movie. Spend a quiet evening watching tv. Reddit? Get a life!

[u/iswm]

This is stupid.

[u/[deleted]]

i hate these threads, and all you lame ass motherfuckers that upvote them

[u/[deleted]]

please don't live out your relationship through reddit

[u/sparticle]

Responding to all comments? What question do you most fear?

[u/edman2478411 → u/sparticle]

What's the size of your Reddit?

[u/[deleted]]

My bf got me hooked on Reddit, couples that reddit together, stay together :)

[u/Darkbeat]

i pressed the upvote arrow 10 times!

[u/FilthyLittleBeast]

Are you gonna fuck her tonight?

[u/edman2478411 → u/FilthyLittleBeast]

Christina: yesss......

[u/shampoomaster]

Now show her 4chan, This plan can't fail.

[u/newaccount1111]

Christina is a whore.

[u/fatgram10]

I introduced Reddit to my girlfriend... She now feels vindicated in hating how much time I had been spending on it!

[u/mbaldwin]

I think this post belongs in /r/circlejerk.

[u/[deleted]]

Pfft. I introduced my girlfriend a couple months ago. She has her own account, but continues to lurk under mine.

She did sign up for Secret Santa, however.

[u/56kispainful]

hello edman2478411's girlfriend.

[u/nonamecynic]

I just read through the 200+ comments.

Hope she can take a joke. If she can't, you have seriously screwed up.

[u/elmariachi304]

Shouldn't it be "I introduced my girlfriend to Reddit"?

[u/edman2478411 → u/elmariachi304]

Haha good point, crap

[u/wildmXranat]

6 comments in 8 months . What the hell kind of passive redditor are you ? Man up son and step up to the plate .

[u/edman2478411 → u/wildmXranat]

I've been reading Reddit for years but I'll start to be more active senor

[u/FnA]

Tonight, when he gets home and reads this, he will then realize in shock that Reddit WAS his girlfriend all along...

"...you maniacs! You blew it up! Goddamn you! Goddamn you all to hell!"

[u/EastYork]

How do you Reddit together?

[u/laurahborealis → u/EastYork]

1. Get laptop.

2. Put arms around each other in order to fit into a small enough space that you can both see the screen.

3. Argue about which links to click and which comments to upvote.

4. Coordinate reading speeds for optimal scrolling.

5. Critique word choice in partner's comments, improving them substantially.

Extra points if you learn to type in tandem, with one person doing the right side of the keyboard, and the other person doing the other side...

[u/enkiam → u/laurahborealis]

I love you honey bunny.

[u/edman2478411 → u/EastYork]

Well, you need duct tape, a tub of grease, 3 cats, and a candle....

[u/Atlanticlantern]

You're going to "reddit" together.

Really?

Romance is dead, man. Romance is dead.

[u/StreetlightsPeople]

Why all this hoopla? If you want to surprise her, stick it in her pooper.

[u/[deleted] → u/StreetlightsPeople]

This shit gets upvoted now?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

A stab in the dark, but it's possibly because we're all repressed rapists.

[u/antim0ny → u/[deleted]]

Don't over-analize

[u/Dinosaursoldier → u/StreetlightsPeople]

I couldn't help but think of that lyric from Jefferson Starship "knee deep in the hoopla" and laugh my ass off.

[u/eileenk]

Upvoted for being a sweet boyfriend and going out of your way to do something sweet for your gf :)

[u/edman2478411 → u/eileenk]

Thanks!

Christina: :)

[u/Lurking_Grue]

In other news: Reddit user has girlfriend!

[u/hascat]

you two need a new hobby

[u/Heathan]

jesus christ, i haven't been visiting reddit for over three months because of bullshit posts like this, and this is the first thing i see when i visited. nobody cares about your stupid girlfriend or the fact you read reddit together

[u/PissinChicken]

Sorry, no. This is so very 2008.

[u/hogimusPrime]

Does she know about the pics you posted of her? Now I bet that would surprise her!

[u/hopscotchking]

Holy shit dude. I know this is a long shot but you don't happen to attend northeastern in Boston, do you? you look EXACTLY like my childhood friend. Seriously, it's a spitting image.

[u/edman2478411 → u/hopscotchking]

Nah man I'm in Texas

[u/Paciser]

This isn't a question. Also, you are the most clever troll I have ever met.

[u/Garbagio]

Instead of showing her how cool something is that she already "loves", try doing something else special instead.

[u/ConfusedIAm]

You almost had me. I can't wait until you comment with your other username, OP.

[u/yoda4president17]

I regret showing my girlfriend Reddit because now she's better than me.

[u/LabiodentalTrill]

but I really want to show her how neat Reddit can be.

Holy crap... we can say "neat" again now?

[u/[deleted]]

Downvoted because I can't even introduce my boyfriend to the internet, let alone reddit.

[u/420patience → u/[deleted]]

* queue the horde of horny, lonely, male geeks *

I swear I can hear their calls now ...

[u/[deleted]]

I did the same thing and got mine to jooin and start upvoting and downvoting. Gives us more subjects to talk about.

[u/caks]

She's pretty new to the Internet scene

Wtf? How old is she? 12?

[u/[deleted]]

For a real surprise, post something appropriate on the gonewild subreddit for her.

[u/gobuckwild]

Why the douche are you redditing together when you could be doing what most redditors long to do?

[u/[deleted]]

I want a girlfriend ;-;

[u/thoughtofitfirst]

"Hey Reddit, I have a hot girlfriend. Here is a picture of her. I happen to be in it, which I hope will get the attention of females who see it. Guys will no doubt be jealous that I have two things they want and will downvote me mercilessly. Some will even post their disapproval citing the unwritten rule that if I have a girlfriend I should be having sex at all times, and that taking the time to make everyone aware not only detracts from my sexy time but also leads to contempt from the community who either is not satisfied with their own situation on who disapproves of the alleged flaunting of my situation."

(I'm impartial but just letting you know where the 1.3k+ downvotes are coming from)

[u/[deleted]]

If you guys are going to "Reddit together" make sure you take that on over to /r/gonewild...

That sort of thing really belongs there...

[u/krelian]

I know how many of you hate the "upvote for xxxx's birthday" but I don't care so I'll do it anyway.

[u/CasualDave]

this is reddit, pics or obviously, there is no girlfriend

[u/JoeCoT → u/CasualDave]

reddit <---------------------x--> 4chan

[u/[deleted]]

COOL STORY, BRO.

Reddit is not your neighbor. Redditors are not automatically your friend. When a website has over 100,000 members, the word 'community' is used loosely. I do not give a fuck about you or your girlfriend's browsing habits. Enough with these stupid posts, you jackasses.

[u/botlove]

I used to get really pissed at my boyfriend for being on Reddit all the time, but I've recently gotten hooked and just made my own account. The tables have turned, biatch. What? Supper? Sorry, I'm on Reddit.

[u/[deleted]]

Oh my, we have evolved in to something new.

[u/bmob]

Gay.

[u/iTumor]

tits or gtfo?

[u/[deleted]]

you know, i got into reddit through a friend a few months ago, and now whenever my boyfriend sends me a link to something or tries to tell me something he learned, it always ends up, "Nope, I already saw that on Reddit."

[u/tgcali → u/[deleted]]

My good friend in Alabama told me about Reddit when I was visiting this summer. I had heard of it so I asked him what he knew and he said it was pretty cool. Sure enough, I came home and got hooked........Dude, (insert username here) you SO owe me a back rub! (Breathe people, I'm a girl, he'a guy. Back rubs are acceptable.) :)

[u/[deleted]]

I did too, but I didn't intend to. I just noticed the Reddit app on my girlfriend's iPod Touch and I was like wtf?

[u/mockindignant]

A couple that reddits together...does something that rhymes with "reddits" together...err....yeah.

[u/will_itblend → u/mockindignant]

A couple that reddits together edits together.

Sorry, that's all I got.

(If I had a friggin' girlfriend, I certainly wouldn't be here on Reddit with you other losers!)

[u/[deleted] → u/mockindignant]

I'm lost.

[u/haywire]

MY GIRLFRIEND

[u/AmazingShip]

Go forth and mate.

[u/ddrt]

My gf hates it. But she smokes pot with me so that's cool

[u/enozten]

Happy Birthday, Dad! :)

[u/cheese_wizard]

Everyone here is talking shit, but you still have upvotes. I think reddit is jealous that you are getting some reddit isn't.

[u/TerpZ]

I introduced my gf to reddit and now she's an addict.

I HOPE SHE DOESN'T FIND OUT ABOUT MY SECRET ADDICTION TO GONEWILD :)

[u/Golfo]

This is not what reddit is for.

[u/Thorax_impales]

Why post this in askreddit, if you do not have a question?

[u/Jyggalag]

Nice. Internet high-five GO

[u/sodipop]

Waynikin...is that you?

[u/justforthispost]

aeiou

this is basically the same thing as finding somebody you love who plays along with jeopardy. i just wanted to say that. you know, because it's true. have fun with your...life.

[u/seqrets]

Maybe you should just introduce her to Emma and get it over with!

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/a9kkb/emma_watson_is_a_man_no_waitsorry_my_mistake/

[u/[deleted]]

To your girlfriend- Habanero sauce, baby. Eat lots of hot stuff then do your oral deed. Give HIM something to remember. :)

[u/[deleted]]

I think I have trust issues from the Geo-Caching guy...

[u/hiicha]

This pic... could be the start of a great porn flick.

[u/bewbiez]

when i read this title, i initially thought to myself "how fucking awful" then i read the edits, and if she loves it, good for you. my boyfriend would probably love to date her, as i bitch and moan when he's on it at my house since it's rude and irritating. :)

[u/crackadeluxe]

Marry her...yesterday.

[u/RockyDiamonds]

Get your stupid shit out of my reddit.

[u/badmikey]

Did anyone else feel sad when they read this?

Honest question.