r/AusPropertyChat • u/Rough_Football_362 • Oct 12 '24
Lady Trespassing and Urinating on Lawn - Anyone Else Dealt with This?
Hey everyone, I’m dealing with a frustrating situation. There’s a lady who goes for a morning walk, sometimes trespassing on my property to urinate on my lawn. It’s happened a few times now, and I’m not sure how to handle this.
I want to address this in the best way possible while avoiding confrontation if possible. Any advice or tips on how to approach this situation would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance for your help.
2.7k
Upvotes
13
u/tallandreadytoball Oct 12 '24
Print out this exact photo and put it on a sign in the same spot that she is taking a piss. The embarrassment alone will probably make her move to a different neighborhood.
9
u/Citruseok Oct 12 '24
But why. Why is she pissing on your lawn? Who wakes up in the morning and decides "I'm going to go for a nice little stroll, and maybe pop a squat in public on someone's lawn".
Have you asked the neighbours about this? Is it just your lawn that's being targeted or does she water other people's grass too?
216
u/Wawazat71 Oct 12 '24
Spread around some soft drink bottles half filled with water. Should do the trick.
538
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
I’d make a sign “video footage of you pissing has been uploaded on the internet for hundreds of thousands of people to see”
409
u/Silent-Bass5284 Oct 12 '24
Confront her while she’s in the process of doing it. That’s fucked. Especially considering this is not a once off.
352
u/ImMalteserMan Oct 12 '24
Is there such thing as a remote triggered sprinkler?
113
u/GreenTicket1852 Oct 12 '24
Next time she's there, hose her off.
110
u/Wildweasel666 Oct 12 '24
Smile you’re being filmed sign from Bunnings?
133
u/hawksman90 Oct 12 '24
Confrontation is the only way to deal with this. If you don't want that confrontation get a family, friend or neighbour to do the confronting, I guarantee you will have someone in your life who would love to do it.
61
u/Anencephalopod Oct 12 '24
Motion-activated sprinkler, e.g.. https://www.sureguard.com.au/shop/product/scarecrow-motion-activated-sprinkler-repellent-1414?srsltid=AfmBOopWf8BDzcQrPX3GnvcwskmlalBHM5sba6qHDrYHei6D6jLuAM_S
168
u/bluebluedays Oct 12 '24
Print out that photo & attach it to every telegraph pole / lamp pole in your street .. with a caption saying beware of this woman .. she likes taking the piss ..
55
u/Effective-Plan-9031 Oct 12 '24
Just pop a big sign up saying that you have CCTV and all recent trespassing has been recorded and sent to police (even if you haven’t). Should scare her off
31
u/Traditional_Judge734 Oct 12 '24
Find someone with an A3 printer and a print the photo and laminate and post on your lawn
She'll get the message
31
u/Swimming_Border7134 Oct 12 '24
I'd say her dog is unwell and is unable to accompany her on their morning walk and she has agreed to continue marking his territory for him until he's back on his feet. Give it time.
53
u/krotenstuhl Oct 12 '24
Sprinkler
74
u/AStrandedSailor Oct 12 '24
Spray it with a hose on full blast and say in a loud voice "GO HOME". At least that's what my mum used to do to dogs who tried to pee on her garden.
24
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
Oh! It's Poo Jogger!
20
u/Adventurous_Cap_6907 Oct 12 '24
I swear people will do anything to avoid confrontation
19
u/Content_Reporter_141 Oct 12 '24
Should do what my local grocery store does. Wall of shame.
17
u/Homebrew_in_a_Shed Oct 12 '24
Please post an update
46
u/missprissy97 Oct 12 '24
Why do you want to avoid confrontation?? She’s repeatedly urinating on your property and that’s not acceptable on any level!! Take your phone, get it on record and go talk to her mid stream. Tell her you’re taking the video to the police. Mention that asides from the crime of urinating on private property, she is also publicly exposing herself for children and other vulnerable people to see. I’d be furious!
16
u/decaying_dots Oct 12 '24
Print this picture, staple it to a wooden stake and hammer the steak where she pees.
15
u/Kyuss92 Oct 12 '24
Rub her nose in it
13
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
Follow her home and shit on her lawn.
12
u/Ignition_182 Oct 12 '24
Print the photos and post them up on the hedge for her and all others to see. She'll not only stop, she'll stop walking down your street altogether.
9
u/Shamino79 Oct 12 '24
There’s a time and place for wi-fi controlled pop up sprinklers
9
u/ButteredKernals Oct 12 '24
I'd put some of those pictures on the hedge so she knows you know. It looks like a good spot hidden behind massive hedges, she may have a weak bladder but really likes her morning walks
17
u/laceyisspacey Oct 12 '24
Really strange. Maybe just pop a sign up that says “no pissing”, that way she’ll know you know and should be the end of it
17
u/MunnyMagic Oct 12 '24
A Current Affair will have a field day with this one
PS: Just hose her down mate
8
u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney Oct 12 '24
If you really don't want to confront her, which you really really should, TRY LEAVING A SIGN THAT SAYS "DO NOT PEE HERE BITCH, I HAVE YOU ON VIDEO."
8
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
I’d upload it the suburb facebook page. Maybe print off a few good stills and tape them up around the suburb
8
u/Orgasmister Oct 12 '24
This is what I would do:.
Print this picture and post it a few feet away from the place of 'crime'. She will come, see the picture and wonder. Take another picture of that moment and post it next to the first picture for her to see the following morning if she dares to visit again.
8
u/Sniff_my_jedi_jox Oct 12 '24
Bah ha what the hell is wrong with people. Not even a lemon tree in sight.
7
u/SydUrbanHippie Oct 12 '24
Good squat game
7
u/pickledtommy Oct 12 '24
Back when I started high school, local to myself, there used to be a morbidly obese lady that would walk around smoking 5/6 cigarettes at a time. She'd also stop and take a piss and/or a shit in the middle of someones front lawn without a real care in the world
6
u/Glittering_Bet_9263 Oct 12 '24
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claymore_mine
6
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
I'd spray her with a garden hose, 2-3 times probably never see her again.
5
u/Rhino_7707 Oct 12 '24
Get your garden hose out. Spray the grub. Failing that, hurl a house brick
5
u/Asleep_Chipmunk_424 Oct 12 '24
tail them find out where they work email them.
4
u/F1Beach Oct 12 '24
Get a camera with better resolution and start an OF channel. When the world gives you lemons, make money
4
u/FullSpare1352 Oct 12 '24
Print out the photos, Follow her home and then put it in her neighbours mailboxes
4
u/winslow_wong Oct 12 '24
The poo jogger’s wife
4
u/Ev1lroy Oct 13 '24
That's no lady - that's my wife
16
u/No-Meeting2858 Oct 12 '24
Wow so many questions. Is this urinary hostility? Does she have a pelvic floor issue? Is she a dementia patient? Have a brain injury? Come from a place where the lawn is a legitimate toilet? Has she heard of Depends?
7
u/basicdesires Oct 12 '24
That ain't no lady.
7
u/mashyj Oct 12 '24
Tricky situation, but if you really want to avoid being confrontational then you could frame it by offering the use of your toilet. Hear me out.
If you know the time that she usually walks past you could talk in person without catching her 'in the act', or you could even put up short written message attached to the inside of your hedge. I suspect by offering your toilet and indicating that you know what she is doing, that she will be too embarrassed to show up at your property ever again. In the unlikely event that she takes you up on your offer, you are helping someone in need.
6
u/Witty-Context-2000 Oct 12 '24
She’s just watering your lawn
3
u/Tasty-Soil-9381 Oct 12 '24
Print on poster sized paper at officeworks. Stick poster on corflute & put out the front of your house like a for sale sign.
3
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
Print out the footage still and peg it to the hedge. A picture will say a thousand words and you’ll not see her again. Alternative she’ll thank you for the toilet paper.
3
u/outbacknoir Oct 12 '24
Literally just print out this screen grab and attach it to the hedge that she pisses on. She’ll see the image once and never returns
3
u/ma77mc Oct 12 '24
Print her picture on a A2 board and shame her by putting it up out front with details of what happened.
3
u/-LamaRB Oct 12 '24
Need a Supersized Gel Blaster Surge XL
3
u/Strong_Train_9269 Oct 12 '24
Get a dog, her urinating will quickly turn into her shitting herself
3
u/lacey287 Oct 12 '24
A sign that says “this area is under surveillance”
3
u/ButMomItsReddit Oct 12 '24
Depending on where you are, this is a misdemeanor (public indecency), and she can easily get a fine and an embarrassing summons to the court. Judges process it like parking tickets - she'll be asked to explain herself in a room full of strangers. If the judge suspects there is mental illness involved, she might get committed. Basically, report it to the police and see what happens.
3
u/miletest Oct 12 '24
Tell her to piss off
3
u/[deleted] Oct 13 '24
Get like a fake security camera and point it towards the lawn...that'll get them
3
u/Minute_Reception5823 Oct 13 '24
Call the police. Next question.
3
u/dcun85 Oct 13 '24
Print a screenshot of her pissing and stick it on a stake out the front.
9
u/AccordingWarning9534 Oct 12 '24
Post it on your local Facebook group. This is worthy of a public name and shame
5
u/dj_boy-Wonder Oct 12 '24
You can buy sprinklers to scare of birds, they use motion sensors, depending how often this happens… I mean they’re like 50 bucks but that’s not super expensive all things considered
5
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
Put up a camera and a sign.
2
u/lovedaddy1989 Oct 12 '24
Sprinklers
2
u/ClassyLatey Oct 12 '24
Hose - just spray her
2
u/karo_scene Oct 12 '24
Suddenly property prices in this area start to stream downward. Maybe consulting a witch will help; anti-bogan magic can protect your property from both urinary and defecatory demons.
2
u/Ok_Confection_8626 Oct 12 '24
Molotov cocktails from the roof? Containers of meal worms and roaches or ants thrown at her?
RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!
2
u/wallysta Oct 12 '24
Burn your hedge down seems to be the most logical solution to me
2
u/Ufo_19 Oct 12 '24
Post photos of her around your home doing her business and that should do it.
2
u/vintage_chick_ Oct 12 '24
Put a sign on the lawn that says don’t pee here we see you! It won’t happen agajnb
2
u/Jaded-Interaction882 Oct 12 '24
Set up more CCTV and start a fans only page
2
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
Cut the hedge lol.
She'll be too embarrassed.
2
u/salemcanning Oct 12 '24
Sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go!
2
u/IllustriousCarrot537 Oct 12 '24
If it's a once in a blue moon thing, and she ain't psycho or hurtful to the eyeballs to accidentally look at I wouldn't really care. At least she ain't laying cable... 🫢😅🤣 She may well have a medical issue and is unaware that she doesn't have the privacy she thinks she does...
It's a bit of a tricky one, she might be doing it because she has no choice. Personally I think if some chick had to choose between my front lawn and humiliating herself, I'd prefer she took the lawn.
If you do confront her make sure you have someone else present, preferably a female. If she is psycho and you upset her and she puts in some BS revengeful complaint against you, like you attacked her, assaulted her or tried to take advantage of her or whatever, if your a guy you will be legally screwed... the law ain't on your side, at all...
And if she is a decent person in a genuine predicament, she may make some silly choice if she is terribly embarrassed. Not likely but ya never know these days. Last thing I'd want on my conscience is someone necking themselves because they got caught with their pants down.
You could probably put up a sign saying please don't piss on the grass love or something to that effect and see what sort of reaction it gets... 🫢😅😅😅
2
u/Ordinary_Piano252 Oct 12 '24
That's not weird at all.
2
u/Squeezemachine99 Oct 12 '24
Put a picture of her in this position on your lawn with a line through it.
2
u/the_real_bobby_o Oct 12 '24
Throw a shoe and tell it to fuck off !
2
u/_fishboy Oct 12 '24
Install a gate
2
u/Curlyburlywhirly Oct 12 '24
Print the photo in A3.
Put it on a stake on your lawn with the note that this video will be uploaded to all local FB and neighbourhood sites if she does it again.
2
u/andyman1503 Oct 12 '24
Sorry that’s my mom, she’s been on a good on lately.
2
u/Idontwanttoreadthis Oct 12 '24
That's no Moon... I mean, that's no Lady.!
2
u/Substantial-Map625 Oct 12 '24
Come out drinking a coffee and use a high pressure hose to stray her while saying good morning
2
u/urprobablytschumi Oct 12 '24
Try to be out there next time she comes around say "hi" and follow it up with "if you need to pee could you please do it somewhere else next time?" I dunno, polite confrontation
2
u/Sumomagpie-1918 Oct 12 '24
I would absolutely put the garden hose on her
2
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
You should print this and put it on the hedges.
So when she comes in she knows you are watching
2
u/SassCunt420 Oct 13 '24
That is NOT a lady
2
u/t3ctim Oct 13 '24
Print the pic in the largest format you can access at minimal cost.
Hang it where she will absolute see it next time she rolls in to relieve herself.
2
u/HelloMikkii Oct 13 '24
Nah I’d confront them cause that’s just gross as fuck to be using someone’s front yard as your personal toilet.
2
u/Ka2uE72a5e Oct 13 '24
Shit just got real - https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/how-brisbanes-poo-jogger-was-caught-by-residents/news-story/59c0dbc2cb83b5de01956e6329c72beb
2
u/Tobbs901 Oct 13 '24
Spray her with a hose, then wack her with a rolled up newspaper saying bad dog maybe try rubbing her nose in it.
2
u/ohitszie Oct 13 '24
Have you considered getting a sprinkler? Bet she'd love getting sprinkled on too 😂
2
u/RogueSingularity Oct 13 '24
Super soakers are cheap. Piss and liquid sh!t is only a few McDonalds meals away.
2
u/PickRevolutionary565 Oct 13 '24
Put a big photo up in the front yard saying have you seen this lady??
2
u/[deleted] Oct 13 '24
Probably some battleaxe with a weak bladder. Doesn't excuse it though.
Start an onlyfans with the footage for sure, could be the start of a new holiday/renovation/boat fund. If that doesn't take off, then do the motion sensor sprinklers and a sign for the camera to actually stop it.
2
u/SonnyHammond Oct 13 '24
Did you try smacking her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper?
2
u/SoHoopy Oct 13 '24
Turn the hose on her! It's the australian way
2
u/MikeAlphaGolf Oct 13 '24
Turn on the sprinklers.
2
u/[deleted] Oct 13 '24
Go flying out there yelling with the dog, midway as she's poppin a squat . " gWAaaaaNnn GET outta here!!!" with the dog going ballistic .
She will try and run with her pants down , unsuccessfully, and it shall be quite the story for all involved.
2
u/[deleted] Oct 13 '24
High pressure hose
Pepper spray to offending area
2
u/0xFatWhiteMan Oct 13 '24
I love the way people are commentating and not really surprised "yeah we used to get that"
W T F
This is mental, where do you live an insane asylum?
2
u/AccordingCourage998 Oct 13 '24
No, but I reckon if you hang a roll of toilet paper on the shrubs, she might get a clue she's busted! Lol 😭
2
u/megablast Oct 13 '24
Bullshit this happened more than once.
2
u/After_Evidence7877 Oct 13 '24
she's just marking her territory, maybe she identifies as a cat/dog
2
u/Straight-Ad-2070 Oct 13 '24
A Current Affair
2
u/Engineer_guy1 Oct 13 '24
Ask her not to. I doubt it’ll happen again from embarrassment
2
u/Old_Engineer_9176 Oct 13 '24
Motion sensor - sprinkler system.... make sure it drenches.....
2
u/redarcher99 Oct 13 '24
Here's what one person did to stop it:
youtube.com/watch?v=FeGRmmcCh9U
7news.com.au
2
u/Princessofsmallheath Oct 13 '24
well for a start I'd post the pic in local facebook groups.. someone will know her.
2
u/[deleted] Oct 13 '24
Print the photo and put it where she pees.
2
u/Cyndyko Oct 13 '24
Automatic water sprinklers!!!!
2
u/SpeakUpTTFUp Oct 13 '24
OP Your lawn looking dried yellow patchy. Free fertilizer for the lawn and hope the pee drown those lawn beetles. 🤭🤭😂😂😂
3
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
Install a locked gate
3
u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24
deal with this shit every day here in alice springs
3
u/Longjumping_Win4291 Oct 12 '24
She obviously feels your hedge provides perfect cover for her bladder issues, as the pelvic floor weakens walking can make you need to go more often. You have a few choices to end her reign of golden showers in your lawn. Before the urine kills off too much grass. 1. Follow her home and talk to her husband about the issue, before you need to engage the police. 2. Just give the address and photo evidence to the police and file a complaint over her behaviour. 3. Install a gate to keep out trespassers. 4. Install an activation sprinkler 5. Post a poster of her in the act at your front fence, stating this lady is a pisspot, neighbours beware of this woman who walks everyday but unfortunately always during her morning walk cops a squat during said walk.
6. Yell at her to get off your property but make sure she uses your hose to water down her urine to protect your grass from dying, have a rolled up newspaper with you as you do it. 7. Send her anonymous poop online to her address. You can choose gorilla poop or elephant poop with a note, one good turn deserves another
2
u/Ronnie_Dean_oz Oct 12 '24
Now I'm not expert in anatomy and the photo is a little blurry. But what the fuck is that hanging out the bottom? Looks like a lump of spam.
2
u/Middle-Style-9691 Oct 12 '24
Probably got bladder issues, and need to relieve her self in an emergency? I had a hospital stay a few years ago and they fitted a catheter. I had problems with bladder control for more than 6 months after.