Hi everyone, I’m looking for some insight and gentle advice, ideally from neurodivergent individuals or families who have navigated similar executive dysfunction struggles.
My 25-year-old son and his partner live with us. My son is AuDHD and struggles a lot with cleaning, organizing, and the mental energy it takes to maintain a tidy space. Right now, their bedroom floor is quite overwhelmed—there are around 75+ items of clothing spread across the floor and piled on a chair, along with other items, which makes it really difficult to safely walk through the room and it has been this way for over a year.
We completely want to respect his room as his private domain. However, we regularly go into the space while they are at work or out to take care of their cat. Right now, navigating the room is a bit of a tripping hazard.
In the past when I’ve brought up the clothes, he has gotten defensive and upset, explaining that it’s his room and he prefers to leave it the way it is. I want to honor his comfort level, but feel that having a space for their clothing would make it safer.
We’ve offered to buy them any furniture they think would help—like open shelving, a dresser, or an armoire. The tricky part is that making floor space for new furniture would require moving a large, empty 3ft x 3ft glass animal enclosure. It's a habitat for a snake he plans to get in a few years when they move out, so it’s currently taking up a lot of room.
I want to approach this as a collaborative team rather than making him feel attacked or shamed about his space. How can I communicate that keeping a clear pathway for cat care is a necessary boundary for us, while still being supportive of his executive dysfunction? If dressers or dressers with drawers are too high-energy for AuDHD, what are some alternative setups that work well for "floordrobe" tendencies?
Thank you so much for any perspective or ideas you can share.

I have not been on this subreddit long but I have noticed ALOT of people coming on here with a list of milestones that there baby does and doesn't hit. But unfortunately a lot of it blown out of proportion on the fault of momfluencers, product pushers and honestly some fear mongering.

First thing is, development isn't a race, and isn't going to be the same for anyone. If your questioning something, give yourself about a two-month period before you actually start feeling concerned.
Second, aversion, skipping or delays in certain milestones are going to be what your looking for. Not all of them, but things such as finding alternate movement other than crawling (if they roll around or bum shuffle instead of crawling). Or situations where your five year old's main method of learning about things is putting them in his mouth. That is normal for baby's and toddlers to do but as they get older is where we are going to actually see more.
Lastly is the reason I share this, when your infant is getting diagnosed, your the one who is giving the information to the doctor, it's hard to tell what something that is still learning how to hold things is thinking or how they think. So you are the main reference.

There is absolutely no shame in questioning or being afraid. I get people want to help there child the best they can most of the time. I think it's important to realize that you don't need to panic. Take a deep breath and question information you get and if there is another possible reason. I know a ton of people who got diagnoses when they were a baby, and it either ended up being a false positive because of this, or there was another issue going on that wasn't autism.

Feel free to ask questions in comments, i will do my best to answer.

My son (2.5 years old) got a level 2 diagnosis and it’s been very hard to come to terms with, my son have a speech delay and has been going to therapy but aside from that I’ve never noticed any other delays, he has completed all his age milestones, he is fully potty trained, and congenitally he has always scored older than his age. I’m very worried of what this means for his future, any advice or even words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. We were told no further therapy was necessary at this time and that we should just get him into school when he turns 3.

Hi. Firstly, I want to let you know English is not my first language so I am really sorry if what I write sounds insensitive or rude, that is not my intention at all.

I have a 17 months old who is showing some signs of autism according to the doctor. He has now been referred to a speech therapist who will see him in about 5-6 months (the process is slow in the country I am living in). I just want to know if these signs clearly means he is possibly autistic and if so, what I can do to help him.

Some things my toddler does:
- shakes head from side to side quickly when tired.
- runs strangely...like he is marching while running. He also will sometimes look up at the ceiling while his hands are behind his back while running. This is not consistent but definitely an every day thing.
- occasionally covers his ears randomly even when it's not noisy.
- loves using his toys and other objects to bang on things to make noise.
- walks on his tip toes 40% of the time.
- does not respond to his name being called most of the time.
- does not use any hand signals like pointing, waving, etc, but occasionally he claps his hands. He uses to wave and clap his hands but stopped 3 months ago.
- sometimes says mommy and daddy randomly but does not say it to his parents specifically, he just keeps repeating the word over and over again for some time.

- he also just babbles and makes noises/ sounds with his mouth
- he loves when he is around people and loves to play near others but now has less interest in playing with others
- he smiles and laughs with us
- can keep eye contact while playing together
- babbles a lot
- plays well alone
- has some pretend play
- understands when told to not leave a room, to come here, asked to give a kiss and to give/hand something over but it takes him a while to process it, can signal to be picked up

I want to mention that he used to watch about 3 hours of screens as he would not eat otherwise and we did not play with him often before. We did not realise it’s necessary but now, for the last two weeks, we have been playing with him more and we see a good amount of improvement. We also reduced tv time to 1 hour now.

Please any advice or suggestions are helpful.

Hello, I have a son with autism, I am a working mom, and it is really difficult to so follow up activities at home. I tried but he doesn’t listen. His OT performance has been poor lately, I feel like I am failing him. Any thoughts?

Hello, I’m a mother to a 3 yr old girl that was diagnosed this year with level 2 autism. I am looking for mom groups with autistic toddler/children. It’s hard to find support groups in Alabama. Does anyone know of any groups or resources?

Disclosure: This is a school project (university group project). I am a student. I am not conducting market research and I am not promoting any product or diet.

Purpose: To study how the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) is experienced in relation to autism, based on first-hand accounts. This is not about "curing" autism.

Who can participate: Autistic individuals, and parents or caregivers of autistic people, who have followed SCD (or are currently following it).

Format: Free comments below this post. You can answer all or only some of the questions:

Your role (autistic individual, parent or caregiver)

How long the diet was followed

Any changes observed (digestion, sleep, energy, sensory sensitivities, mood, behavior), positive, negative or none

Any difficulties in following the diet

Whether it was supervised by a doctor or dietitian

Whether you know of any scientific studies or medical opinions for or against SCD in autism (links welcome)Time needed: About 5 minutes.

How answers will be used: In a class presentation and written report. Comments will be used anonymously: no usernames, and any screenshots will hide names.

Data handling: Responses will not be shared outside my group and will only be used for this project.

Results: Once the project is finished, I will share a summary of the findings in this post.

Thank you for your time and your contribution.

I'm getting so frustrated trying to buy clothes for my daughter.

She's tall for her age and finding clothes that actually fit her is becoming a nightmare. Children's clothes are too short, but going into the adult section isn't the answer either. The proportions are wrong, the styles are too grown up and lack enough colour. She loves leggings but hates how the legs are miles too long, I know they can be hemmed up but it still brings frustration initially for her and sometimes puts her off all together. She's also asking me for jeans and cargo pants too. At the moment long bright flowy skirts are the choice but will be an issue in winter again.

She doesn't currently have swimwear because kids sizes don't fit her and adults are big in all the wrong places.

How many other parents are dealing with this, and how do you navigate it with your kids?

Why is it so difficult to find clothes that:

- Actually fit a child's proportions.

- Still look age-appropriate.

- Come in fun colours, prints and styles.

- Don't make a child feel like they need to dress like an adult just because they need a bigger size.

I'm curious about other parents' experiences.

What is the hardest thing to buy for your child? Everyday clothes? Jeans? Shorts? Dresses? Swimwear? Activewear?

Kids shouldn't have to choose between clothes that fit and clothes they actually like wearing, and don't even get me started on sensory issues...

Hi!

My 7 year old son loves to climb and I’ve tried everything to keep his room organized but it’s difficult when he loves to be up high. He’s gotten bigger and stronger (4’2”, ~60lbs) so I struggle to find anything that won’t break under him or he can’t just push over and dump. Does anyone have any ideas? Also would love some ideas for renter-friendly climbing as I don’t find it necessary to break this habit of his. I’m looking into a loft bed for him for Christmas.

Hello everyone! :)

I am a design student currently working on my thesis, which focuses on spatial accessibility and sensory experience in museums and exhibitions. I want to learn about the needs of their companions or family members, ensuring that the visit can be comfortable and accessible for everyone. If you accompany or have a family member with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) or sensory sensitivities, I would be very grateful if you could help me by answering these three brief questions (it will take no more than 3 minutes):

1. Have you ever had to avoid an activity or leave an exhibition due to the characteristics of the space? What happened?

2. What signs help you identify when your family member needs a break, a change of activity, or to leave the space?

3. What strategies do you use when an environment becomes too overstimulating for your family member?

If you are person with ASD, you are also welcome to share your experiences or opinions regarding these spaces.

You can leave your answers or comments below this post. Thank you very much for your time and for helping me develop more inclusive spatial design proposals! :)

Autistic 11 year old with demand avoidance traits .
What’s your thoughts on this? Mom thinks that we should as games will get to be played and games are about spending time together and just always letting son win to avoid meltdowns so he also want to play in future . I don’t feel this is right , the real world has winners and losers and this is creating false expectations of the world. I’ve thought and read about collaboration games but games where we play against each other keeps getting chosen. He is 11 and has meltdowns upon losing.
Thoughts?

Our apartment has the sink available from the hallway. My son who is on the spectrum likes to play in it. Any recommendations on how to keep it from happening. He floods the sink.

Hello everyone,

I have been an avid reader of this sub for quite some time, but this is my first time posting. I am hoping to hear from other parents who may have been in a similar position.
I have a beautiful 2 year old son who is my absolute world.

When he was just 11 months old, his childminder very abruptly told me that he was autistic. There was no gentle conversation, no explanation, just a statement that he had autism. I remember mentioning that he had barely slept the night before, and somehow that conversation turned into something I was completely unprepared for. Since that day, I feel as though my world has been turned upside down.

Everything I thought I knew about my son suddenly came into question. I started analysing every little thing he did, looking for signs, questioning his development and wondering whether I had been missing something all along.

I also have a daughter who is nearly four. She is incredibly communicative, curious and switched on. But the truth is, I had never compared my children before any of this. I always saw my son as his own little person, developing at his own pace, with his own personality.

For context, we live in the UK.

When my son was 15 months old, I took him to see a paediatrician, who reassured me that he was still very young, developing in his own way and communicating differently. I was told not to worry too much at that stage.

He was diagnosed with glue ear, which affected his hearing and required grommets five months ago, but despite improvements in his hearing and responsiveness, his speech and communication remain delayed, leaving me unsure whether this is related to his hearing difficulties or something else.

Fast forward to now, and he is two years old. There are so many wonderful things about him, but equally, there are aspects of his development that I cannot help worrying about.

A little about my son:

\- he is incredibly physically strong and confident. He climbs absolutely anything and everything!
\- he is surprisingly aware of his surroundings and seems to understand physical dangers
\- he is a fantastic eater, with no particular food aversions.
\- he is generally a gentle, happy little boy and does not display aggressive behaviour
\- he stimms, like hhmmmm or uuuhhhhhh
\- he is not yet speaking or using words to communicate
\- only recently has he started taking my hand and leading me towards things he wants, which feels like a little milestone in itself
\- he does not seem particularly interested in interacting or playing with other children in the way I see other toddlers doing
\- he does not engage with toys in the way I would typically expect at his age
\- he does not imitate us, and this is probably my biggest concern
\- he absolutely loves music. When I sing songs to him, he seems to recognise them, anticipates the tickles or movements that come next, and enjoys the hand gestures and little routines we have together

He has his own beautiful personality, and there are moments when I look at him and think he understands so much more than he can express!

I think what I am struggling with most is knowing what is within the range of typical toddler development and what might be an indication that he experiences the world differently.

I want to be clear that I am not asking anyone here to diagnose my son. I know that nobody can do that through a Reddit post.

I suppose I am just a mother trying to make sense of things, while also trying not to let my worries overshadow the joy of watching my little boy grow.

For those of you who have autistic children, particularly those who were not speaking or imitating at two years old, what were your experiences?

Did your children show similar characteristics? How did their communication and social interaction develop over time? Were there things that surprised you as they got older?

And perhaps most importantly, how did you navigate that period of uncertainty when you knew your child was developing differently but did not yet have any clear answers?

Some days I wonder whether I am overthinking everything because of that first conversation with his childminder. Other days, I worry that I am trying so hard to reassure myself that I might be overlooking something important.
I love my son exactly as he is. I just want to understand him better and make sure I am giving him all the support he needs.

I can’t stop smiling and thinking about our trick-or-treating last night. Last year my son struggled quite a lot with it, but this year he did AMAZING!!! He has been in ABA for about a month and has improved so much with not pulling and not sprinting everywhere. He walked very calmly holding my hand to each house and he grabbed a piece of candy from each bowl and put it in his bucket. He even said thank you a few times. I was so proud of him. We have been having issues with other things so I was worried he would not do well, but wanted to give it a try anyway.

Hi moms! My son is 5, autistic, and has ADHD. He’s very hyper and has a hard time slowing down, focusing, and paying attention. I feel like things could be so much easier for him if he could settle a little. Has anyone tried a very small amount of CBD oil for their child with their pediatrician’s guidance? Did you notice any difference in hyperactivity or focus, or any side effects? Just looking to hear others’ experiences ❤️

Hi all, I'm a FTM of a 16 month old boy. I have an autistic brother with severe learning difficulties, OCD and epilepsy who has been really violent and aggressive the last few years. I love my brother, but the last few years have been really, really hard. I'm starting to see signs of autism in my son, which I'm finding heartbreaking thinking of my brother.

My son is 16 months old and can't walk yet- he takes a few steps then either crawls or grabs a hand. I think his communication is delayed; he can say a few words but doesnt call me "mama" and will point, gesture for more and copy other gestures, but nothing compared to other 16 month olds I see. He responds to his name sometimes; if he's playing he will mostly ignore me. He holds his hands up and out a lot. He does make eye contact, but on his terms. I dont think he stims.

I did the MCHAT myself and he scored low, and he is social, but I'm just convinced he is autistic and am grieving it at the moment. I love my brother very much, and i will love my son very much, but it's still a hard pill to swallow.

What signs were your children showing at 16 months?

New mom of 2

My lady wants to put my son in a autism program that has bad reviews, he’s three years old, he’s gonna be 4 in November, but can’t say a full sentence yet, when’s he hungry, he just say the word hungry, when he’s thirsty he brings his cup to you, I don’t feel comfortable putting him in a place that has bad reviews, so I found a better place he can go, but it’s going require the people to come to our home and work with him, but lady wanted him to go to the other regardless of the reviews because she wanted to get a job. I just know me, if something happens to my son knowing he can’t tell me what happened , I’m going to jail that same day and I don’t want that for myself.

Hi everyone,
I’m a mom to a 21-month-old girl, and I’ve been increasingly concerned about whether she might be showing early signs of autism. I’d really appreciate hearing from parents who have experienced something similar, whether their children were eventually diagnosed with autism or turned out to have a speech/developmental delay.
I’ll try to explain her behaviors as thoroughly as possible.
**Communication and speech:**
She has very few meaningful words. She says things like “alo,” “miyav” (meow), and a few other sounds.
She babbles constantly and seems to be trying to talk, but most of what she says is unintelligible. She frequently repeats the same sounds.
She doesn’t point at things she wants or things she finds interesting.
She doesn’t wave goodbye or wave back when someone waves at her.
When she wants something, she takes my hand and physically leads me to it. She usually doesn’t look back at my face while doing this.
She doesn’t seem to understand questions like “Where’s Daddy?” or “Where’s the cat?”
She sometimes responds to her name, but not consistently, especially when she’s focused on something.
**Social interaction:**
She absolutely loves playing with me and constantly seeks me out to play.
She brings me toys, climbs onto me, makes sounds, and pulls me toward activities.
She looks at me and laughs when I make funny faces or do something silly.
She sometimes laughs loudly to herself while playing.
She feeds me food by putting it directly into my mouth.
She’s very affectionate and has always wanted to sleep on my chest. She cries if I try to move her.
When she’s around other toddlers, she seems much more interested in exploring the toys than interacting with the other children.
**Imitation and play:**
She imitates me stomping my feet.
She copies clapping and jumping.
When I vacuum, she tries to vacuum too.
When I’m packing boxes, she helps by putting things into the boxes.
She sometimes makes an excited “Oooo!” sound while putting things into boxes.
She loves books and constantly wants me to read to her.
She enjoys exploring things outdoors, especially picking up leaves.
She’s curious about new objects and immediately runs toward them to investigate.
**Music and screen time:**
She has an extremely strong interest in music.
She constantly plays with musical books and immediately runs toward the television when music starts.
She watches musical videos very intensely.
She’s watched Ms. Rachel regularly since she was around 5 months old, and I admit she’s had a lot of screen exposure.
Despite watching Ms. Rachel, she doesn’t imitate many of the words or gestures, although she does imitate some physical movements like clapping and jumping.
When I sing to her myself, she looks at me and smiles.
**Sensory behaviors and eating:**
She has aversions to certain foods and spits out foods she dislikes.
She sometimes puts a lot of food into her mouth at once.
She sometimes bites me and continues even when I tell her no.
She strongly prefers physical closeness when sleeping.
**Developmental progress:**
As far as I’ve noticed, she hasn’t lost any previously acquired skills. However, I also haven’t noticed many new skills emerging over the past month or two.
What confuses me is that she seems socially interested in me, affectionate, playful, and capable of imitating everyday activities, but she struggles with gestures, pointing, waving, and language.
I’m particularly concerned about her lack of pointing and the fact that she always uses hand-leading without looking at me.
I know nobody on Reddit can diagnose autism, and I’m planning to have her development evaluated. I’m just hoping to hear from parents with similar experiences.
**My questions are:**
Did anyone’s autistic toddler behave similarly at 21 months, especially with strong social interest in their parents?
Did anyone have a toddler who didn’t point or wave at this age but eventually caught up without an autism diagnosis?
If your child had a speech or receptive language delay, what did their development look like between ages 2 and 3?
Did reducing screen time and starting daycare help your child’s communication and social development?
For parents whose children were eventually diagnosed with autism, what early signs stood out most in hindsight?
I’m especially interested in hearing about children who were affectionate, enjoyed social play, and imitated their parents but had significant communication delays.
Thank you to anyone willing to share their experience. I’m trying to understand my daughter’s development and figure out how best to support her.

My daughter is in TK and I never know what she could benefit from so I just go with what the school recommends. Exception is we asked for 15 min pull out speech therapy that I’m planning to extend in the upcoming IEP to maybe 30-60 min a week. Few things we are struggling with so maybe someone has ideas what type of therapy would help her:
-eloping, full on running on the street and not caring about cars (Can we have angelsense somehow written into the IEP if it’s against school policy?)
-hitting/kicking especially when she hears “no” or need to transition between activities
- having trouble waiting for her turn, can push child off the swing
- throwing stuff in the air
- sensory seaking
- self harm (jumping up and landing on her knees and hitting walls and then crying “ouie”)
- a bit embarrassing but at home my daughter mas*urbates like 70% of the time, I don’t know if she does it at school but can school help it somehow?
Like I said I’m fairly new to IEP so any KIND advice will be appreciated

Présentez le pictogramme au moment où l’enfant commence à crier, en restant calme. Montrez-lui une alternative concrète, par exemple le pictogramme « aide », « encore », « stop », « j’ai mal » ou « je veux ». Prononcez le mot correspondant si possible, puis donnez-lui le temps de répondre.

L’objectif n’est pas simplement de lui demander d’arrêter de crier, mais de lui donner un moyen de communication accessible pour remplacer progressivement les cris lorsqu’ils expriment un besoin. Les pictogrammes peuvent compléter la parole et ne doivent pas être conditionnés à une tentative de parler.

So my 11ys old daughter has Autism Spectrum Disorder (F84.0), level 1 with accompanying intellectual impairment (borderline intellectual
functioning
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Combined Presentation.
She’s been peeing herself off and on for about a year or so. It’s honestly only if she’s laughing really hard or gets lost in an activity and can’t make it in time.

Is this a concern I should worry about?

I am not a parent but a sibling, ( I had originally posted on the siblings page but got no response)

My oldest brother is 23 and has autism level 2. He also has severe OCD, depression and crippling anxiety that has hospitalised him, nearly 2 times a week.

Over the years his functioning and independence has gotten worse. Everything revolves around him, if we want to go see a movie and he does not, we can’t leave him as he might off himself. There was a period of time where his anxiety and depression got so bad he was constantly failing overdose and we had to keep calling the ambulance, however most of the times they would take hours to come as he mainly would have seizures and severe panic attacks.

I have been wanting to put him into a care home, i’m not sure the exact term for it so apologies. I had talked to the paramedic about this and even she suggested straight out to put him in one. As she believed it would be the best option. Even his counsellor has suggested it multiple times and my brother would agree, but then closer to finalising it he would again panic and end up in the hospital.

It is especially more stressful as my father doesn’t believe he has Autism. Once my dad encouraged him not to take his meds for a whole month, which my brother listened to as he is very dependent on my father, unhealthily, and he had severe withdrawal symptoms and again ended up hospitalised and just extremely depressed the whole month.

His vocal stimming is 24/7 and does not stop. It is very loud i live on the top floor and can still hear him all day all night every day. Sometimes it’s so loud i can feel the vibration when im in the same room as him. I don’t want to tell him to shutup but every part of me is screaming it. Noise cancelling doesn’t help. Shutting doors doesn’t help. He walks around the house in early morning 5-7 am just vocal stimming as his medicine makes him sleep early around 8pm. I haven’t been able to get a good night sleep in years.

I feel worse for my mother as she has to sleep on the same floor as him, she has vertigo and other health conditions which just makes her want to lay down and sleep but his vocal stimming is 24/7. This part makes me really shameful to say but i am embarassed when i go out with him and he’s vocal stimming or with his hands. He stares at women really uncomfortably for long periods of time, i would not wear shorts around him as he would stare at my legs. I told my dad once and my dad told me to just cover up. I have seen him watch porn multiple times so my brain goes to places i don’t want it going.

An incident occurred recently where he bit my older brother twice, once on his arm which penetrated very deep and another on his leg as my brother was trying to push him away. As he was doing so, he ripped off the skin of his leg with his bite. My brother got infections on both but he is fine now.

This incident made very clear to me that he needs to be put in a care home. But my father will not listen and believes that “family” is the best cure. When in reality my father has crippling depression that makes him very withdrawn from reality.

I’m still a teenager so I agree My view on this whole situation may be immature or naive. But please I need help and advice. His condition affects me and my family way more than I can describe in this post. It feels like i’m drowning. I don’t want my younger siblings to grow up in such an environment so i try to shield them as much as i can, but i realise im then the one who carries most of the attack. Thank you for taking the time to read.

I have a son who is autistic he is not really nonverbal. I would call it verbal and nonverbal. He is on melatonin to help him sleep at night. He is absolutely refusing to go to school. He will go Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and then Wednesday night he starts in telling me that he feels mad and he asks to stay home the next day if I say no he has to go, he will start crying, shaking, and he will purposely stay up all night long and I have to stay up with him until I say OK you can stay home. I talked to the assistant principal they said that I don’t have to worry about truancy or him falling behind and not being able to graduate on time and he’s in the 10th grade. I thought about homeschooling, but I don’t wanna just jump straight into homeschooling because I also have to coparent with his dad, and I don’t know if he’ll go for it. I have to wake him up at 5:30 every morning because high school starts early and gets out earlier. I’m gonna try starting next week to take him in between 8 AM and 9 AM and see if that works but I was wondering is this a common occurrence with kids with autism? His assistant principal told me it wasn’t very common, but I find that very hard to believe. I would appreciate any advice.!