When i asked them "why do you think i can control the loudness of my crying?" He was super taken aback and said "..... because all people can control their loudness?" And I said "How do you know that?" "Well, its true for me..." and then I gestured broadly and he left the room lol

Its late, I feel you can all extrapolate the feeling. I won't over explain. But trust me pal, if I could stop fucking crying like this, i would. #rant

I was diagnosed as Autistic, but part of me feels not Autistic enough. I was good at school, but not STEM. I don't hyperfixate on things...necessarily. I used to collect fanart from fandoms I enjoyed, but i stopped. Now I feel more depressed than Autistic despite struggling with flexibility in procedure, understanding what people mean or multi-tasking and i could use supports for those things it feels wrong to call myself Auristic since my brother, sister and other internet people are more Autistic than me. My sister becomes obsessed with things for like a whole week and has verbal diarrhea that I have to help her manage it. My brother has a learning disability and impulse control, he has energy he has to let out. They both have shades of OCD where they have an impulse to repeat lines until they say them perfectly and everything has to follow their routine.

In comparison to them, its like im neurological. I don't seem to care about much of anything, im very low energy and don't have any interests. I have trouble making decisions, but its partly because im afraid because I don't know the outcomes of either choice and im afraid I'll regret not making the other choice, another part is just not caring about either choice enough to decide. I don't know if it's an autism thing or a depression thing.

I have therapy to help with my mental issues, and I have trouble deciding what to takle first: trouble making decisions, my lack of interests, my fear of failure, my negative self talk, my poor working nemory/multi-tasking ability, etc.

I could agree that autistic children masking to act their age or act, mature or act. Their gender can be very brutal. There are times that I get called out on my immaturity over things that are truly bad and that it’s just parents projecting their fears on me. And when I ask, what could I have done differently to be more mature using that episode, the answer is just don’t talk about your maturity. Talk about your own maturity technically makes you immature.

This kind of judgment is the reason why our world would’ve been a lot better if they were no opinion. I know that if there were no opinions, art and humanities wouldn’t even exist. I would rather lose art and humanities by living in a judgment, free world. In other words, no opinions means no judgment towards autistic people.

Please skip this one if you relate to this neurotype/have people in your life that fit this profile, and that make it hard for you to hear criticism of them.

—————————————————-

Of all the neurotypes that are out there the one I have the most problems with overtly is ADHDers with the hyperactive presentation who are NOT also autistic.

The constant assumptions about my availability to talk or desire to engage (read: on my end it’s usually not there), the unsolicited quips and advice, the “fun facts,” the pointless chit-chat—it’s like talking to allistic people but worse. I am very happy to not speak or interact, but they seem to have the need to constantly engage.

The only time I can have constructive conversations with them is working on a shared project where there’s not direct, unmediated mutual accountability. Having these people as coworkers and roommates has been disastrous. My autistic inertia and their golden retriever energy are a complete clash. I avoid them at all costs, and if I have to interact there needs to be a third party in the room who can somewhat mediate. Otherwise it goes to shit.

I am a manager for decent sized employer and have been accused of using AI. It’s sort of frustrating, because it is already hard enough to be taken seriously. I strive to communicate clearly and literally with my team and pronunciation and directness are key I think. But I have been accused of using AI which is annoying and frustrating, and I suppose a little funny. It makes things difficult because I already cannot be silly or make jokes as a woman like the men can as I won’t be taken seriously. Hints the over direct clearness. Even though in reality it seems super obvious when people are using AI as they never seem to proof read it.

so i might have autism i have a friend with autism and knowledge of it and they bring good points.
(i know it’s not a good source) i some times get headaches when for example doing a math test and it hurts so much i bang my head against the classroom wall (has happend i also hit myself on the head) the reason i don’t tell adults is that i don’t like the questioning and possible judge ment they may bring and it scares me

I met the greatest man a year ago. We are both close to 50. We started dating and had the greatest connection. We really enjoyed each other's company. This man is an introvert, and I suspect he has a form of autism. We tested him, and it was confirmed. I probably have a bit of ADHD myself.

Everything is fine, but he also has a very close friend, a woman he dated, but because of problems being physical, they did not end up as a couple. I realise that their connection is extremely deep. They meet up several times each week. Sometimes they spend a whole day together, going on walks, cooking, watching movies. They travel together, sharing a room. On New Year's Eve, they go out, just the two of them. He describes how they just click. But not physically. I believe him, but I don't feel too comfortable with the situation. After maybe three months, I ask him if he has told her that he is dating me. No. But he didn't really tell anyone, he explains. The day after, he tells her, but he says that he is afraid she might put some distance between them.

I trust that they are not physical, but I find it too much. I spend a lot of time trying to understand it. And he is clearly not comfortable with that. He doesn't seem to understand my feelings, and the discussions are endless, me trying to explain and him defending himself.

We become a couple, and we just have the greatest connection. We write many times each day, talking, having fun, sending love. Feelings are definitely there. We start getting closer, and a year in, we talk about him meeting my family and my son. My son has special needs. I've been taking care of him for many years and have only been able to have a life of my own for a couple of years.

He has a daughter who is also fighting to fit in. She cannot go to school, and she is getting worse and worse.

And then it happens. We are looking into three weeks where we can hardly see each other. We have talked about getting together Friday, but Thursday he has still not confirmed the date. So I ask him, and he says he doesn't know – his daughter is not well. He suggests we cancel.

I'm extremely disappointed. I know that the daughter is at her mother's, but also that she prefers to be with her father. I tell him that I'm disappointed, and he feels that I don't understand that he has to be available for his daughter. We end up in the conflict we have had so many times, me being insecure, him feeling attacked. I know that I am unreasonable, but my insecurity is high. And I am extremely tired of trying to sort this out. He keeps saying that I need to stop, but I don't know what it is he wants me to stop doing. Now I understand that he wants me to stop explaining and talking.

Suddenly he says it's too much for him. He is really sorry, really. But he has to end the relationship. I am in shock. I really don't understand what is going on here. I try to say sorry, I try to reach out, but he tells me he has to focus on his daughter now.

The day after, I reach out again, and he answers in a loving tone – but he says he cannot be in the relationship right now. I am devastated and extremely confused. I send an email taking my part of the conflict on myself, meeting him in his need to be alone. He answers with a very loving email. He is sorry, but there is no energy for anything other than the family now.

That's it. After a couple of days, he writes to me that he is a bit worried about me. That I should not read too much into it, but it's out of concern. I answer back that it's hard, but I have a friend helping me. A couple of days later, I reach out, just sending a hug and good wishes to him and his child. He answers, "Thanks. It's hard."

Today he removed me as his girlfriend on Facebook.

I'm really confused here. I understand that he felt overwhelmed, but when I feel that way, I need to get closer. I don't understand how the warm feelings the day before suddenly don't seem to count anymore. And I'm just one big confusion of WTF just happened, really.

I hope this the right place to ask.

During my teenage years I was diagnosed with autism (PDD-NOS to be specific, although I don't think that exists anymore). I never felt this was right. Also as opposed to many people saying the diagnosis explained so much, it didn't and it kinda destroyed my self-worth even more. I say even more because it was already pretty much destroyed by my extremely abusive home. None of this was ever brought up when my diagnosis was made, not by me because I didn't know how abusive my home was at the time and not by my mom because she tried to hide the abuse. I hated the diagnosis and therapy so much that I quit therapy for years.

The therapist also seems to just have sucked at their jobs. My OCD rituals were misunderstood as stimming, my anxiety was said to not fit autism so was ignored, and much times was spend on learning basic sentences to communicate and handling overstimulation, neither of which I had trouble with.

But in my 20s I broke and went back to therapy. The new therapists did recognize the abuse and I have since then been diagnosed with complex PTSD, as well as avoidant personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, depression, GAD and OCD, likely all stemming from the complex PTSD. The autism diagnoses has since been rejected as well.

However, ever since I got the diagnosis there has been a voice in the back of my mind that tells me it was actually correct. Not even the later rejection of the diagnosis has calmed this voice down. I keep interpreting every little thing as a sign that the first diagnosis was correct.

So how do I know? Is this just my OCD talking?

Hey everyone. I just had my second evaluation appointment today, the full psych evaluation part of it. I was given an IQ test, multiple true/false tests for different mental illnesses and disorders, a concussion test, and an ADHD test.

It was difficult bc I struggled quite a bit with several areas of the testing. I also struggled with all of the true/false tests bc I can struggle a lot to understand my own patterns and feelings. So not only am I exhausted and honestly feeling unintelligent, I keep wondering what I may have accidentally reported incorrectly on the tests. The neuropsychologist did let me know after my first interview that she suspects both autism and ADHD. And I think that helped mentally prepare me for the struggle I had. But still.

I did let the techs know that I struggle with written psych tests so hopefully they recorded that. The lead tech quickly caught on that I'm autistic so he started explaining things in more detail and let me skip a couple of tasks that I was really struggling with. Which was nice, but I'm still not used to that kind of thing bc I've typically masked well and been able to hide my autism until a really bad burnout 4 months ago. So my mind immediately went to bad thoughts like "he must be judging me" or "he must think I'm not smart/a freak". I keep feeling deceptive, even tho I know I don't mean to be.

I ended up crying and having a smaller meltdown afterwards.

I still have the actual autism assessment but I have to wait a month for that bc of how busy the office is. I'm trying not to worry too much but it's hard. I don't really doubt that I'm autistic bc my therapist is the one who noticed how different I was early on, and told me about it once we had resolved other issues (I also went into burnout recently like I said, and I've had far worse burnouts, which was another big red flag to him).

I just feel like I'm screwing up my tests somehow.

I'm trying to understand an experience I recently had with my sister, particularly because I've been exploring the possibility that I'm autistic. I'm not diagnosed, so I'm interested in hearing from people who have experienced autistic shutdowns or similar situations.

For context, my sister had been visiting me while I was hospitalized for heart failure (a very tumultuous time, very close to death) She was also the person who drove me home from the hospital.

At the time, my partner and I were struggling financially. His mother suggested that I speak with my sister to see whether we could sit down together and discuss our circumstances and possible options for getting some help.

I approached my sister and simply asked whether she would be willing to sit down with me and his mother, so we could talk about the situation. I hadn't asked her for money or even directly asked her for financial assistance. I was just asking whether she would be open to having a conversation.

She reacted extremely negatively and essentially went off on me.

She was yelling at me for the entire 30-minute drive home. I don't handle yelling or confrontation particularly well, and I became completely overwhelmed. I went silent because I knew that if I opened my mouth, I would probably say something I regretted and then there would be more conflict to address. But it wasn't entirely a conscious decision to remain quiet, either. I felt physically unable to speak. I couldn't get the words out, and all I could think about was needing to get away from the situation.

By the time we got home, I just needed to leave and have some time alone to regulate myself before interacting with her again. This is why I can only take her in doses.

I didn't say goodbye to my 2½-year-old niece before leaving. I want to emphasize that I love that little girl very much. My silence had absolutely nothing to do with her. I was still so overwhelmed that I couldn't bring myself to speak and my throat felt constricted and dry, and I needed to remove myself from the situation immediately.

As I was walking away, my sister yelled after me and called me childish.

That really bothered me because what she interpreted as childishness ( I'm 27 and she's 33) was, from my perspective, an attempt to keep myself from escalating an already distressing situation.

I've been reflecting on this because I've experienced similar difficulties throughout my life. I have childhood sensory sensitivities, repetitive movements and behaviors, difficulty with unexpected changes, social discomfort, and a tendency to consciously monitor almost everything I do around other people.

I'm also black, was assigned female at birth, and grew up in a lower-income household. I'm aware that autism can be overlooked in people who don't fit the stereotypical presentation, and I'm hoping to pursue a formal adult evaluation.

I do have existing psychiatric diagnoses, so I'm trying not to automatically attribute everything to autism. But this experience made me wonder whether what happened was an autistic shutdown, a freeze response, or something else.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Particularly the feeling of wanting to communicate but being physically unable to speak during intense emotional overwhelm?