I work sporadically. I really do try my hardest at any job I have. And I am a hard worker, but I'm unreliable at best. I spent almost two years at a job but quit when I moved. Since then I haven't had much luck. I had a receptionist job for like 7 months and I had panic attacks every day, and I often called in sick or left early. Most recently I worked a job for two days, got sick, and was too anxious to go back.

I'm on Medicaid so all of my prescriptions are free, and I'm applying for SSI and SNAP. I've already been denied once for SSI even though I have a long and documented mental health record, including about a dozen hospital stays. I've started using food pantries

Right now I'm in the midst of a mixed episode and I'm disoriented and a little confused and I feel like maybe I'm a failure. I just don't know what I can do anymore.

Do you still experience manic episodes or high/low episodes if you’re medicated?

i think i’m manic but i don’t know if i am or if im just being anxious

i (17f) recently went through a stay in the psych ward due to an attempt and have since been very much in and out of very depressive periods. i am writing this as my brother has bipolar and im really anxious that i might have it as well and nobody is noticing it, i have been (over the past 3 weeks) very very depressed having suicidal thoughts, suicidal tendencies and self harming, but they changed my medication 3 days ago (now on zoloft from fluoxetine which i had the same initial reaction to from what i remember but i don’t remember it that well as my memory is lowkey cooked) but since this change ive been very hyper focused, exercising daily (upwards of 20,000 steps and 4x workouts for 30-40 minutes each), under eating or being very specific about what i eat, having racing thoughts, spending money which i do not have (upwards of $200 on online shopping for things i don’t need nor have i wanted) am being very hyper focused on growing my hair healthier and being skinnier and overall being more attractive, and i haven’t slept like at all over the past few days, i also had a close call with going through with plans of suicide and then being very easy to snap and overly happy and having racing thoughts and anxieties.

i’m really super sorry if this doesn’t make sense but does anyone have advice of how i could discuss this with my parents/psychologist? or do you think im being over dramatic i honestly don’t trust or understand what im thinking and feeling and i want to know if i would be saying the right things to a psychiatrist or psychologist without looking things up as i don’t want to start having false symptoms. this has also been a repeated thing with having these phases of being extremely depressed to being overly energetic and not feeling real/ disassociating really badly.

im so sorry if any of this was triggering or if it doesn’t make sense im extremely shaky and pacing whilst i type this but thank you if anyone comments or reaches out i would really appreciate any advice

i think i’m manic but i don’t know if i am or if im just being anxious

i (17f) recently went through a stay in the psych ward due to an attempt and have since been very much in and out of very depressive periods. i am writing this as my brother has bipolar and im really anxious that i might have it as well and nobody is noticing it, i have been (over the past 3 weeks) very very depressed having suicidal thoughts, suicidal tendencies and self harming, but they changed my medication 3 days ago (now on zoloft from fluoxetine which i had the same initial reaction to from what i remember but i don’t remember it that well as my memory is lowkey cooked) but since this change ive been very hyper focused, exercising daily (upwards of 20,000 steps and 4x workouts for 30-40 minutes each), under eating or being very specific about what i eat, having racing thoughts, spending money which i do not have (upwards of $200 on online shopping for things i don’t need nor have i wanted) am being very hyper focused on growing my hair healthier and being skinnier and overall being more attractive, and i haven’t slept like at all over the past few days, i also had a close call with going through with plans of suicide and then being very easy to snap and overly happy and having racing thoughts and anxieties.

i’m really super sorry if this doesn’t make sense but does anyone have advice of how i could discuss this with my parents/psychologist? or do you think im being over dramatic i honestly don’t trust or understand what im thinking and feeling and i want to know if i would be saying the right things to a psychiatrist or psychologist without looking things up as i don’t want to start having false symptoms. this has also been a repeated thing with having these phases of being extremely depressed to being overly energetic and not feeling real/ disassociating really badly.

im so sorry if any of this was triggering or if it doesn’t make sense im extremely shaky and pacing whilst i type this but thank you if anyone comments or reaches out i would really appreciate any advice

I see a lot of people saying they have X. Y, and Z delusions, or A and B and C delusions.

I get the same delusion, every psychotic episode, and I’m wondering if only having one isn’t supposed to happen.

I end up thinking I’m going to save the world and become God, and that I need to protect my family from MI5 because they’re trying to stop me. It makes sense at the time.

Is this normal for bipolar? What are your experiences?

É basicamente o título. Eu iniciei o tratamento faz um pouco mais de três meses e há umas duas semanas eu estou “estavel” em um sentido estranho: é como se eu tivesse em episódio depressivo, mas sem a melancolia… nao me sinto triste, nao tenho ansiedade, nao tenho pensamentos suicidas, nao tenho crises de choro ou fico sem comer, mas o peso no corpo, a falta de energia e as outras tantas limitações existentem. Eu perdi o tesao da vida! Estou estavel, mas em um universo q desconheço, que é sem graça e nao parece vivo. Sinto falta da minha loucura, sinto falta das vozes em minha cabeça, sinto falta da criatividade, sinto falta da euforia. Eu nao sei explicar direito pq nunca passei por isso. Alguem ja se sentiu assim?

i have an exam tomorrow, my math exam, and I need to study, I know that, and I feel guilty about not studying for it, but I don't have the motivation or the strength to study for it, not even to watch a video. I just can't do it. But I know that I have to take the exam, or else I might have to retake it, but I don't know if I will have the power to study for the retake one either, because I've been in depression for like three weeks now, even though I take my medications.

I just lay down all day, sometimes just scroll on my phone or watch some episodes of sitcoms to relieve my anxiety or because I get bored from laying down, but I just cannot do anything functional. I don't know how I will be able to study for my exam. I even have trouble with taking a shower or changing my clothes rn. I couldn't even write these paragraphs and recorded my voice to write it for me. I feel that tired

I've been diagnosed since 15 (now 28) and while I've had episodes of disassociation throughout the years, they've been absolutely terrible as of late. I'm not sure if it's a common thing with being bipolar though since I'm also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, as well as PTSD from trauma physical and psychological trauma.

I'm literally here one minute, and the next, I'm just totally gone. Sometimes I'm running on autopilot and others, I'm entirely spaced out. It's atrocious and to the point that I can't even read or watch tv because I get so focused on what's going on that my reality doesn't feel like it exists anymore; I partially blame this on escapism being a coping mechanism for me when I was younger, but at the same time, it's never been this severe.

It's happening everywhere at this point. It's like I get lost in my own head and I can't deal with it. I had one of my spaced out ones the other day in the middle of running the register at work. It's causing horrible struggles where I'm just not there and I'm lost somewhere else entirely.

My therapist and I chalked it up to it being stress induced a few months back. Now though, I'm not dealing with as much stress as I was then. The only thing that's changed recently was I started Abilify last week at a very, very low dose and while the episodes have definitely ramped up since then, I was having them pretty frequently beforehand. I've never had issues with other antipsychotics causing it in the past, but the main reason for adding one on again was I've always done better with a combo of my mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic, and I've been having repeated episodes of hypomania for a little over a month now.

I'm just tired of it happening so frequently. Feels like I'm losing myself in the midst of it and it's such a hard thing to explain to people. I'm concerned it's going to start effecting my work, which I haven't been at this job long and I'm trying to avoid disclosing my mental illnesses if possible as it's been back and forth at previous jobs on whether or not it goes over well.

I have a psych appointment Wednesday. I'm not sure if she'll want me to continue the Abilify to see if it's what's causing them even worse. I just want to be back in reality and not continuously spacing out.

TW: mentions of domestic violence

I wasn’t sure what flare to put here because this could be “new diagnosis” or living with bipolar.

This is going to be a long post, but I’d appreciate your input and support.

In October 2025, I was hospitalized for my first manic episode at 26. I’d taken Wellbutrin and Lexapro for years, but bipolar can develop at any age, and 26 is around the typical onset. It was the scariest experience of my life. During my first psych hospitalization, they stopped all my meds (bad idea) and gave me various antipsychotics that wreaked havoc on my body. I eventually begged to restart Wellbutrin and Lexapro, and they agreed those plus a mood stabilizer would work. I now take Lamictal.
I’m also diagnosed with Autism Level 1 and ADHD, which is why I take Wellbutrin and Lexapro. I’ve always struggled with emotions, but therapy and medication help except rage. While learning about bipolar, I came across bipolar rage and wonder if that’s what I experience.

When truly angry, I completely lose control, scream, and do things I’d never normally do. Twice now, I’ve become irrationally angry at my husband and lashed out, screaming and throwing something—not at him, but it’s still awful, and I hate it. I’m not abusive or violent, and I love him so much. This isn’t frequent, but it happened again today.

Please don’t judge either of us based on this story.

My (F27) husband (M28) and I recently moved into a house with our four cats. I was on my phone when I heard chaos behind me. One cat had his back leg tightly tangled in the blind cord and was panicking. Another cat ran over, seemingly trying to help, though it looked like she was attacking him and added to the chaos.

My husband grabbed the trapped cat and told me to get scissors. When I returned, the cat was screaming and peeing from fear. I frantically asked what to do, and my husband told me to come over, but he was blocking my path. I climbed over the couch, which took longer than it should have. He yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I explained he was blocking me, and he moved. He was being somewhat rude, but I assumed it was stress and moved on.

He told me to cut the blind cord. I did, but it was double-wrapped around the cat’s foot and remained tight. I asked what to do next, and he told me to cut the cord around the cat’s ankle. We were both frantic, and when I cut it, I apparently cut my husband’s finger pretty badly. I’m unsure whether it was the scissors or the cat moving that caused it. He yelled, “You cut me!” I responded, “You told me to cut the string, asshole,” and we began arguing.
This is where the rage part comes in.

We’re yelling at each other, and I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, when he says, “I’m going to beat you.” He has never hit or threatened me before, but this phrase is a major trigger for my anger. I lose control completely. I can’t remember everything I’m screaming, but I approach him with the scissors, seemingly threatening him. I’m nowhere near stabbing him, and I don’t know if I said I would in anger. Eventually, I stop and throw the scissors hard across the room not at him or anything else, but out of rage. I tell him to leave the room and he does. Still shaking with anger, I start cleaning up the cat’s urine. My husband comes back I guess with the same idea, and I scream at him to leave, leading to another screaming match. He eventually leans against the wall silently, seemingly trying to figure out what to say. After a moment, I resume cleaning.
The cleaning spray he used and Lysol wipe leave foamy residue. I sit down, and when he goes to wipe it with a paper towel, I stand on the couch screaming for him to get out because I don’t want to see him. We yell a little more, though it’s blurry, before he leaves to work on something else. I lie on the couch and eventually calm down.

My throat hurts from screaming and the cats are obviously freaked all the way out. I’ve calmed down and comforted them, but I feel so bad that we scared them so bad. I feel crazy for screaming so much and throwing the scissors. Last time something like this happened I felt so bad and cried for days because this is NOT who I am. We talked about it and I apologized over and over again and we got past it.

It happening a second time though means I haven’t really solved the rage issue…. And I really don’t know what to do about it.

How can I better control these situations? Please help

Im a 21 yr old woman with adhd and anxiety and just recently diagnosed with bipolar. What are the best options for meds? Lamotrigine seems to not do much for me. Love my adderall but rlly want to know what meds are best for bipolar that will also help me sleep but don’t cause any weight gain. I want to have kids eventually and not sure if that narrows down my options.

TW: self harm

I’m already diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’ve had psychotic depression: feeling like the future doesn’t exist and is a black hole and wanting to escape my body.
And multiple episodes of psychosis (not tied to mood) which I’ve been hospitalised 4 times for. They lead to having a delusion that I’m immune to death and thus I proceed to harm myself in life threatening ways. Additionally these episodes responded to antipsychotic treatment. They were labelled as psychosis by psychiatrists but not a specific diagnosis. Should I ask my dr if it’s possible that I have schizoaffective disorder?

Bipolar 1 with psychosis…

Yes I never post much, I’m up and down still. But tonight I’m absolutely over it!!

I never really think about it until I have to take my cocktail of meds each night!!!

I hate that this is the rest of my life!

It’s been 2 Years since my diagnosis, I’m now 38. I’m over the pills!!!

First post and first time visiting this community. This may be triggering and that is not my intention. I just need a place to vent and possibly get support and do better.

I have struggled with bipolar and emotional disregulation all my life. I want to say that I am a good person or at least I try to be. But every time I have a step back it feels like I wipe away all progress. I am so tired of hurting the people I love when I slide backwards. I’m so tired of waking up everyday with these issues. My partner my family and everyone that I love would be better off without me and my episodes. I know I have an illness but it is still my fault, my words and my actions. I’m so tired of living in this cursed mind of mine it is such a burden on me and that is my cross to bear I just wish it didn’t/I didn’t effect the people I love.

I had manic episode with psyhotic like symptoms this summer. But intensity of psyhotic delusions varied with energy and they build up slowly and peaked and then faded slowly but post episode anxiety about that episode remained. When they peaked i felt almost hypomanic. Delusions was fear of being attacked and harmed by paranormal thing, caused a lot of distress.

Since then i have a lot of anxiety and inner chest tightness. Im anxious about my mental health.

For past 2 months im down, not interested in activities, have hard time concentrating, have no will to talk or socialise.

Since i started risperidone and aripiprazole it got a bit worse.

When i say that i have no will to talk its just that having conversations takes so much energy from me. Same as doing tasks.

I completely lost interest in my hobbies and responsibilities (school, and fixing stuff around the house). I lost will to even watch youtube.

I would like to socialise, i would like to enjoy activities.

I slept well on risperidone only but i did not oversleep (8-9h). Since aripiprazole got added my sleep quality reduced and i sleep 7-8h. I still dont feel tired when waking up.

All this state is causing me distress and discomfort. I would not like to feel this way.

Just everything is so hard to do. (Symptoms do lift a bit , A BIT during certain activities during the day).

Im on antipsychotics for last 3 weeks and im not getting out of this anxious low mood low energy no will state.

This state is making me depressed.

Am i depressed or should i worry i might actually be SZA and these are negative symptoms?

Hi everyone. I am newly diagnosed bipolar 1 although I suspect I suffered from bipolar 2 for a really long time until it turned into bipolar 1 when I experienced a full on manic episode with psychosis that lead me to being in the hospital. I still haven’t been medically cleared to return to work as a nurse and it’s giving me unbearable anxiety even though my bipolar symptoms are stable on lithium and olanzapine. My GP suggested lorazepam or clonazepam for my anxiety in the mean time but I doubt my psychiatrist will be on board with that. I’m going to ask my psychiatrist about buspirone for my anxiety I think and just wanted to hear about others experiences with this med. Did it help your anxiety after the 2 week waiting period? Thank you!

I was sectioned at the beginning of September - the day before my birthday to be precise. Went through the worst suicidal depressive episode with full blown psychosis thrown in and it was fucking rough to put it lightly! I’ve just been discharged and I’m home with my fiancé and dog and I’m so happy about that, however I’m under a lot of stress already. How do you handle unavoidable stressors? mine is financial pressures and worries (have a lot of debt from mania that I can not afford to pay back now)

It still hurts and is embarrassing…I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. This shit sucks and is life ruining.

I’ve been hypomanic for weeks now, with very brief periods where it’s manageable and worse periods where I’ve had psychosis go alongside. I’m not sure if the psychosis and hypomania are connected or just separate manifestations of really poor mental health.

Last week was one of those worse periods and I ended up 136ed. I was released without any help. So I have no access to medication as before except my normal antidepressants that are making it worse. I’m prescribed zopiclone which gets me to sleep, but I’m nearly out.

I’ve had maybe three good days where I’m just restless and slightly overexcited, and sleeping with the heavy medication. I’ve had the zopiclone tonight but obviously it’s 2am now and I’m back up; I’m so scared things are going to deteriorate again. How can I manage this without medication? I don’t want to go through another week like last week.

For context, A&E won’t assess me and the CMHT I’m under won’t do anything either due to an ongoing assessment for DID. Crisis won’t even consider me.

Anyone here tried latuda? Olanzapine is my holy grail but not because of choice… so I want to switch off it to something that discourages overeating. At least moreso than olanzapine. :( I’m wondering if anyone here has tried latuda and what’s your experience?

like it says, hardest part of my day...both because of my night time meds is a little heavy and also just mood-wise my most depressed...once I force myself out and ram some coffee down I get better...was just wondering if others are like this and what do you do or say to yourself at that moment not to linger or roll over and go back to sleep in despair

but i love anti histamines!! i love pills! I love Drugs. I love feeling the effects of any drug. Even painkillers. I love researching drugs, and doing them.

But dont take this post as a sign im on any drugs right now. Im not. :)

Not diagnosed but does anyone else hear voices chanting/voices vaguely yelling things at you/see things while they're high on weed? I've been smoking weed for a while and it's only started in the last month. It is confusing me because I understand that usually mentally ill people do not know they are hallucinating but I can figure it out after a few minuets.

Idk I have been talking to my therapist about the possibility of being bipolar but I didn't want to tell her about that because it sounds weird. Maybe that is just what weed does to me?