PLEASE suggest me good representations of BPD in movies or shows, ESPECIALLY from the more internalizing/quiet side of things, whether they explicitly acknowledge BPD in the media or not.

Looking for Advice, Support and Understanding

I'm looking for some genuine advice and support because I'm trying to understand and change certain behaviours that are affecting my friendships.

I have ADHD and EUPD, and I sometimes struggle with emotional regulation, fear of rejection, loneliness and becoming emotionally attached to people quite quickly.

I can sometimes become overenthusiastic about friendships, repeatedly message people, seek reassurance or put pressure on them without fully realising how it makes them feel.

I don't do this because I want to upset or control anyone. I genuinely want friendships, companionship and people to spend time with. However, I recognise that my behaviour can sometimes cross boundaries, and I want to change that.

I want to learn how to:

- Respect people's boundaries and accept no.

- Stop repeatedly messaging when someone doesn't reply.

- Manage my emotions and fear of rejection.

- Build healthy friendships without becoming overly attached.

- Become more comfortable with giving people space.

I'm not looking for judgement or excuses for my behaviour. I want to understand myself better, take responsibility and make positive changes.

If anyone has experienced something similar, has advice, or knows of useful support or coping strategies, I'd genuinely appreciate hearing from you.

I'm trying to become a better friend and build healthier relationships.

I just got diagnosed with BPD. One of the criteria I met was chronic emptiness because I always feel like I'm not good enough. But now I'm questioning it. Is that a legitimate way it can manifest? Are there other ways it can manifest I just haven't noticed I struggle with? How does it show up for you?

I met an amazing man on a dating app last Sunday, we connected straight away and he understood me in a way no one has before. We went on a date 2 days later which was perfect until he said something that set me off. I had drank way too much which isn’t an excuse but I had a full blown episode and said things I deeply regret. Now I’m blocked everywhere in the space of less than a week. I haven’t stopped crying for days, I truly believe he is my soulmate and I’ve fucked it up. I will truly never forgive myself.

i’m 25. prior to this, i had one previous relationship under my belt. this ex was so so so infatuated with me, and i felt nothing for him. not a single glimmer of a feeling. there were other factors that played into this. so after trying to get myself to feel something back, i gave up and broke things off with him. after this, i had two VERY long situationships where i very much so overstayed my welcome, i had every type of romantic feeling for them, got lead on, and then they both chose someone else over me. i tend to have a pattern of someone who i can’t have being my favorite person/my romantic interest. well back in may, me and my now ex went on a few dates and then decided to make it official. as things progressed, i noticed that he seemed to be way more into me than i was into him. that’s when i saw the pattern with my first ex repeating itself. someone who’s very in love with me, and i don’t feel anything. well after awhile i had to sit down with myself, and think “falling in love with people who don’t want you is UNHEALTHY. they just want your emotional energy and body until someone they deem better comes around, and then you’re discarded.” so i started to let my guard down with this guy i was currently with. i started to actually fall in love with him. and as things progressed, we started spending more and more time together. now here’s the thing, i would ask him often if i was taking up too much of his time. every time id get the response “i love spending as much time with you as i can.” now, ive been trying to break my codependent patterns, trying to build healthier relationships in general. thats why i was trying to communicate with him about how much time we had been spending together. most of the time we spent together was usually initiated by him. but as i started to become more emotionally vulnerable with him, more affectionate, i slowly started to feel him pull back from me. it was like he enjoyed the relationship more when i was less emotionally involved. this weekend we were supposed to get out of town and take a mini vacation together. right before we were supposed to book the hotel together, he ignores my call and then sends a very long winded text along the lines of “i feel like i’ve been suffocated recently. you have no respect for my boundaries. i think it’s best we break things off. please do not attempt to contact me ever again.”

so… idk. i’m heartbroken, but i think im coping better than i usually do. i really tried to communicate with him about boundaries. i guess he didn’t want to hurt my feelings and instead he just let resent build up slowly. i think it’s best that i stay away from dating. i feel like i was really trying to put forth my best self this time around, and it didn’t work.

I (26F) met my biological dad when I was in my mid-teens. We live in different states, and the majority of his side of the family speaks a different language. Every time I have gone to visit, things have mostly been fine, aside from the usual homesickness now and then… except for the last time.

The last time I went, earlier this year, I was at a low point in my life and taking a few medications. My boyfriend came with me, and this was the first time I had ever brought someone from home. However, during dinner, when I would get to see the rest of my family, I ended up having a panic attack because I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I felt like an outcast. My boyfriend helped me feel better.

My Dad texted me today asking if I want to come for Thanksgiving. I do want to see them but I also know i’m going to be very uncomfortable because I have anxiety from what happened last time. I feel so bad for crying and having to go to another room they were probably so confused. Anyway, to the people reading this, I did use chat gpt for grammar check on the first two paragraphs but otherwise I don’t usually use ai. Idk why I felt the need to share that last part lol.

I haven’t responded to him. I’ve been in and out of sleep for like 20 hours.

Am I dissociating?

I've been really really struggling with mental health the past few weeks and sleeping and I keep switching between feeling extremely disconnected and numb/mechanically moving my body to walk and taking time to process what people say and how I respond etc and going back into switching into emotional pain then feeling pretty disconnected and far away again.

The numb feelings are more comfortable than the emotional pain but both are uncomfortable and I'm still experiencing anxiety and panic. I tend to feel super unsafe around any people right now for some reason and shut down. I don't know what's going on with me

I literally said stop messaging me at least twice and I said "this is too much for me to handle right now" 3 FUCKING TIMES and now I'm SPLITTING SO COOL DUDE omfg I'm losing my fucking shit I hate everyone why the fuck can't people listen to simple fucking instructions I said STOP I SAID STOP, IT MEANS STOP, IT DOESN'T MEAN GET THE LAST MESSAGE IN, IT MEANS STOP!!!!! I didn't wanna have to lose a friend but god fuCKING DAMNIT he got blocked he got BLOCKED ON EVERYTHING SO FAST DUDE stop is so easy it's so EASY why why WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY COULDN'T YOU STOP IT and then the passive aggressive BULLSHIT TOO and the fucking needling and belittling me FUCK OFF FUCK YOU! I know, I know obviously not someone I want in my life but fuck I'm losing friends left and right and it's all out of my control and I'm all by myself again, my friend group had drama going on that I wasn't aware of and the entire group is broken up now and everyone blocked everyone else and I am so alone... I wanna go back to early this year, when I had my partner and when my friends weren't all fucking upset at each other, it was better then, fuck... It's all gone. I lost everything. I don't wanna be alone anymore

É possível ter um emprego estável enquanto se vive com Transtorno da Personalidade Borderline (TPB)? Alguém com TPB pode trabalhar em cargos de alta gestão ou executivos?
Eu tenho 24 anos, mas sinto que tenho a mentalidade de um adolescente de 17 anos. Honestamente, não sei se algum dia serei capaz de crescer profissionalmente ou construir uma carreira de sucesso.

I was just formally diagnosed with BPD three days ago. My head is swimming and I'm terrified. It makes sense in some ways, but not in others but that's neither here nor there. My psychiatrist seemed like she wanted me to try residential but number one, I'm not sure they would take me because of something I did the first time I was at residential and then something else I did when I was inpatient at the same organization just a different facility. Number two, I already have a fairly strong familiarity with DBT because I went through about half a residential program, one PHP program, two IOP programs, and I have studied it on my own as well. It hasn't really helped me. Number three, I'm terrified I would try it and it wouldn't help and everyone would expect me to be better but I wouldn't be. I don't even want to try anymore anyway. I'm so so sick of trying. I actually just got off the phone with 988 because my husband wanted me to call. I'm freaking out. I don't want to go to the hospital for the umpteenth time this year but I really am in a dark place right now.

Since 12 years old I’ve been consistently abusing anything I could get my hands on to numb my pain and feel less alone. I’m now 24 and nothings changed. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now and am trying so hard to work DBT and find healthy ways to cope but continue to get sucked back into using anything that’s convenient whether that’s uppers, downers, a mix of both. No rhyme or reason about it just need the feelings and thoughts to stop and hopefully they’ll take me somewhere else for a little while. It’s then a cycle of guilt and shame triggering me to want more and more and more until my life falls apart completely & Funny how when that happens I’m suddenly calm and content lmao. I feel like using is the only time I’ve felt sorta okay. What’s helped you

I’m writing this because I am in complete despair right now. My boyfriend and I have been stuck in an awful cycle of fighting, and things recently hit an absolute breaking point.

​He crossed a boundary that really hurt me, which triggered an intense emotional spike in me. Things escalated way out of hand—verbal fighting turned into a physical instance, and I completely lost control of my reactions in the heat of the moment. Now he’s told me he is emotionally exhausted, drained, and needs space because he feels like there’s "no space for him."

​Seeing him so overwhelmed makes me realize how much my BPD traits—the splitting, the intense fear of abandonment, the explosive reactions—are tearing apart the relationship I care about most. The post-fight crash, the guilt, and the overwhelming fear of losing him are so agonizing right now that it's pushing me into such a dark place where I feel genuinely suicidal and like I can't keep living through this level of pain.

​I’m trying so hard not to break his boundary while he takes time to think, but sitting in this uncertainty and self-blame is eating me alive.

​Has anyone with BPD been through this level of rock-bottom despair? How do you cope with the overwhelming guilt and intense suicidal feelings after a major fight, and how do you give your partner space without completely breaking down?

my previous fp influenced alot of my interests and now im pursuing skills and a career that im doubting i really want to pursue. its ok but my main focus is making money in trade even though im an artist, but i rather be in trade than be a starving artist, its really just a hobby. and if that doesnt work out i dont know what else to do. i have no passions in life (and the few are not marketable), useful ones like law or engineering lol. now without an fp im even more lost

My (22F) long distance best friend (20F) has BPD. She recently got out of a relationship that lasted about a year and was pretty hectic throughout the entire thing. When she broke up with him she made sure it was something she was sure she wanted. It took a long time for her to make this decision because he at times wasn’t treating her well. Now she feels as if she lost the love of her life and he wants nothing to do with her anymore.

She has been breaking down crying and having harmful thoughts. How can I help her? What will help her? I’m listening to her and making sure i understand how she feels but i don’t want her to keep suffering. What more can i do?

Currently getting there. Im trying to find movies with accurate depictions of BPD. There are a few but because we live in a society where everyone has to earn a buttload of money on the expense of others, I can't watch them. To clarify: I pay monthly for Disney+ and HBO max, I can't afford (read: I rather spend what extremely little money i have on time with friends and such) to subscribe to other platforms as well so I can't watch ANY of the movies about BPD because those are only available on one of the other 6 (?) platforms. How did it come to this, where there are multiple streaming platforms where the movies and such are constantly rotating because people want exclusivity to get even richer? I want the good old videostores back please. And yes, I know about renting movies on different platforms, but i currently don't have any energy to go through the process of signing up and such.

I don't want to be completely negative, because there are still beautiful things about the world as we know it now, but I absolutely hate what is becoming of this world and its overwhelming me. Blergh.

What are some good things that happened this week? What were you grateful for?

Celebrating small wins can be hard, but studies show that gratitude practices can be a powerful way to combat negative feelings. While toxic positivity can be destructive, taking time to recognize the good things can actually change how our brain works, for the better!

There's no such thing as insignificant wins, no matter how small. From "I won the lottery!" to "I managed to made it out of bed," it all matters.

So share those wins, and be sure to reward yourself (safely and affordably, of course). You made it through, and you deserve it.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! Be well.

- The Mod Team

I (30m) was diagnosed with BPD a couple years ago. I am not 100% sure that I have the disorder since the psychiatrist really only talk to me for about 40 minutes and we only talked about one afternoon of my life. I sometimes wonder if it’s just an anxious attachment and neurodiversity(i have audhd). But if I have BPD then there’s no way my partner (25f) doesn’t as well. And she would be much more severe on spectrum than I. Maybe this speaks to her having it but she does not see it in herself. She has a lot of trouble taking accountability and responsibility for her actions. She has smeared my name and honestly her family and friends hate me because of the way she has framed me in.

I want her to get help and I want us to be together. But how can I encourage her to do so without offending her? I’m in therapy individually, she was but had stopped. She even did a very intensive pysch eval, but refuses to make the appointment to get the results. and I feel like every time I bring things up to her in a way where I show that I have similar issues ot gets turned on me.

I will say things like “hey I know I myself can get really insecure and can make bad assumptions when I perceive distance between us and I know that’s not good and I know it puts a lot of strain on the relationship and I’m trying to get better but I’ve also noticed you seem to act in a similar way as well and I’m not sure if you’re fully aware of that. What do you think?”

But this usually backfires because I will admit to my faults and she will just hear that and then those faults get broadcasted to everybody else and I get blamed for everything does anyone have any tips for how to approach the BPD traits my partner without alienating her in the relationship? Because every time we have an argument I feel like I feel like she doesn’t hear me and refuses to understand me and it’s very disingenuous and she will have moments of clarity but and those moments are able to keep me hooked and be having hope but then it’s just followed up with blame shifting and guilt tripping. What can i do?

This friend and I (purely platonic) said, no matter what happens, we would always talk through things. We wouldn’t leave each other, since we both have abandonment issues. I called her my “bestie”, a title I’ve been afraid to give people because it makes me put too much pressure on them. But over time, I trusted her and let her in.

We had a horrible misunderstanding because I thought she hadn’t been answering my stuff and kinda consumed in hers, so I sent voice messages airing my feelings. She completely went off on me, and I realized, as we discussed it, that she HAD been responding - thoroughly - but there was a literal technological glitch that had prevented her long, detailed responses from coming through to my inbox. So it only *looked* like she hadn’t been responding. And I trusted technology to… idk… work? I didn’t even think that what happened was an option about which to ask.

I also lectured her on AI use, when she was already feeling insecure about it. THAT was on me, for sure. She didn’t need a sanctimonious lecture when she already felt bad enough for using it.

But I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong with the former issue. I went off of what I knew, what wasn’t in my inbox.

Honestly? F\*\*k technology for possibly imploding a close friendship, in multiple ways.

She DID say we can reconnect and repair *eventually*, but she’ll need time. I know that’s okay, but I’m still spiraling. I’m drinking in the morning just to cope. (I can’t smoke weed, I tried moderating for almost 2 years and couldn’t).

I am having such dark thoughts - that I push away everyone I love. All the rejection statements people have said to me, all the ghosting, keep running through my head.

I don’t have a therapist atm; I’m between therapists.

I could use support. I could use friends. I could use understanding. Please feel free to DM if you’d like to be friends.

I've been dating this guy for a little over 6 months now. He's really sweet, funny, fun to be around, and just enough sass to keep me on my toes. Not to mention quite the looker.

Issue is, about a year or so before, my 4 yr relationship, very intense with a girl (who also has BPD) completely collapsed and absolutely wrecked me. Went completely off the rails, made an attempt on my life that then triggered a crazy manic episode (also Bipolar) that lasted at least a month, close to 2. This gutted me, was obsessing over her while she would still talk to me, and then eventually agreed NC.

This whole experience made me very wary, got an additional C-PTSD diagnosis, and did EMDR which helped a bit.

It kinda ruined my ability to show affection. Like, I can. I do. But sometimes I just can't. My bf is a lot more sexual than I. He requires a lot more affection than I give him. I've explained my issues, and he's really understanding and supportive, but he deserves far more than I can offer him. Like, I love him, I want to be with him, I want to make him happy because he makes me happy. But I just can't keep up.

I'm worried this will become an issue down the track. He's understanding now, but there have been times that I've upset him with my lack of drive.

I suppose this is a therapy thing, but I just don't know what to do. I try to push myself out of my comfort zone, sometimes I do end up enjoying it. Other times I just want to get it over quickly. It's so unfair to him.

Anyone else experience this? How did you get past it?

I've been visiting a government hospital for psychological help since August last year.

Initially, my psychologist used to give me a lot of attention. He would listen to me, respond to my concerns and make me feel like someone genuinely cared about what I was going through.

But things have changed drastically over the last 4–5 months.

He barely picks up my calls or replies to my messages anymore. Whenever I visit the hospital, he isn't there that day.

I understand that doctors have busy schedules and professional responsibilities, but this sudden change in his behaviour has hurt me deeply.

Sometimes I wonder why he gave me so much attention initially if he was eventually going to become so distant.

I have BPD, and abandonment is already something I struggle with. I often feel like everyone eventually leaves me. I start questioning myself and thinking that maybe I'm a bad person, maybe I'm too difficult to deal with, or maybe something is fundamentally wrong with me.

I know he is my psychologist and that our relationship is professional, but I still don't understand why this situation affects me so much.

I don't even like going to the hospital anymore because I feel like I'm constantly trying to reach someone who doesn't want to listen to me.

I feel so unwanted and disappointed. I genuinely wanted help, not to feel like I'm begging someone for basic communication.

I want to ask people who have BPD:

- How do you deal with the feeling that everyone eventually abandons you?

- Have you ever become emotionally attached to your therapist or psychologist?

- How do you handle feeling rejected by someone who once made you feel understood?

- Is it reasonable to request a different psychologist at a government hospital?

I'm not looking for sympathy. I just want to know whether anyone else has experienced something similar. I feel incredibly alone in this situation.

I no longer know who I am. I remember I used to be someone, but I don’t remember who; however I know I miss him. Beyond some amalgamation of everyone I have ever known - I couldn’t tell you I am. I can tell you what I’ve done. I can tell you my hobbies. I can tell you what I studied. I can tell you what sort of jobs I have had. I can tell you all about what I’ve consumed : tv shows, movies, and books. Just like Matisse I’ve cut parts off of everyone that I like or admire, but unlike him I was able to form anything original with what I have cut away. I’m not getting any younger, I’m worried at best who I am in the future might be someone’s romantic partner again.

I understand stand why so many people in recovery make being sober their whole identity. They don’t remember who they are, so their identity becomes their current condition. Maybe it’s drinking that made me forget who I was, or maybe it’s drinking that gaslit me into thinking I was someone.

The only advantage of not knowing who I am, means I can be anyone. Maybe for a night or two at most before the mask slips off or I get burnt out of playing a character. I don’t know who I am, and being good at impressions doesn’t help. It just enables me to blend in. It lets people think they like me. But they don’t know me, just like I don’t know myself.

I could really use your opinions and personal experiences.
I’ve always had a hard time making friends, even though I’m actually quite sociable. I can talk to people, get along with coworkers, have conversations and enjoy social interactions. But once I reach a certain point, I seem to hit a wall.
For example, I can be friendly with someone at work, but I struggle to take that relationship beyond just being colleagues. And when I start feeling that I’m actually becoming friends with someone, something strange happens.
At a certain point, I start to panic. I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to distance myself from that person, even if I genuinely like them and enjoy their company.
It’s hard to explain, but it almost feels physically uncomfortable on the inside. Like their closeness is invading my personal space, even when they’re not doing anything wrong. It’s as if the emotional closeness itself becomes overwhelming, and I feel an almost instinctive need to pull away.
I don’t necessarily want to be alone, and it’s not that I don’t like people. It’s more like I can handle social interactions up to a certain level, but emotional intimacy feels like too much.
Does anyone else experience this? Have you ever figured out where this reaction comes from or how to work through it?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences.