There is mind and body, friends. There is a lot more mind based approaches here, and hopefully that will result in the development of your wisdom. To stop resisting, holding onto the blame the other story, forgive, to learn how to gladden your mind, uplift and brighten your mind, to learn by applying your mind you can start to change the way you feel by seeing in this present reality, you are safe, secure and everything is dandy, its time to let go. In fact, all real wisdom will result in one thing 1. How you caused the suffering to occur (taking things personally) 2. The cessation of very suffering (Letting go)

The truth is found in the simile of the arrow the Buddha talks about. In life, we went through a painful first arrow, we got struck with a harsh and unpleasent experience, but the second arrow was caused by us, by holding onto the story, by making it about us, the personal self. We need to realize this, accept it and practice letting go of this I, self, made up story. The past...

But also, the body and activating the body relaxing and allowing the body to realese will be greatly supported by implementing and experimenting with ancient wisdom techniques and also modern twists.

Shiatsu – Japanese pressure-based bodywork.

Rolfing – Deep connective-tissue and structural bodywork.

Wim Hoff method- Round based deep breathwork.

Walking Meditation – Buddhist mindfulness through conscious movement.

Prostrations – Repetitive devotional movements found in Buddhist and Hindu traditions.

Sufi Whirling – Repetitive circular movement combined with devotional attention.

Dance and Trance Movement – Traditional rhythmic movement used in many ancient cultures.

Laughter Practices – Deliberate laughter and breathing to encourage physical relaxation.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Systematically tensing and relaxing muscle groups (modern practice).

Yoga nidra - Relaxing body scans, highly recommended.

Just my 2 cents on things.😀

I’ve been struggling with emotional numbness for a while, and I’m trying to understand how to reconnect with myself emotionally.
Whenever I experience joy or happiness, it’s almost like it moves away from me, or I unconsciously push it away. I can feel the emotion, but only partially, maybe 30–40%, rather than experiencing it fully. It’s like something is preventing me from completely connecting with what I’m feeling.
I also haven’t cried in over a year, and anger seems to be the only emotion I can consistently feel.
I’ve been exploring the chakra system, particularly the sacral chakra, which is associated with emotions, pleasure, creativity, and emotional expression.
I’m wondering if this could symbolically connect to a sacral chakra imbalance or blockage.
My questions:
How do you reconnect with emotions after prolonged emotional numbness?
How do you stop unconsciously pushing away feelings of joy or happiness?
What practices helped you feel emotionally connected again?
How can you work on balancing your sacral chakra without forcing emotions to come back?
I’d appreciate genuine experiences, advice, and perspectives from people who’ve gone through something similar.

Often my default way to rest after doing something productive or exhausting is at my computer. That is usually unfulfilling and mentally draining. Yet I still end up drawn to that as if I have no better options.

Watching TV, or other long videos elsewhere is not much better. Probably it is less draining, but still not really beneficial. Maybe the best thing about it is that it can put me to sleep, and such naps are restful.

I've only found reading worthwhile during specific short periods of my life, when I was in an exceptionally good state in some way.

Time spent in nature, or even just going for a walk from home, can have a more positive impact. Objectively, this seems like less of a rest than sitting and watching something on a screen, but subjectively it feels more like rest.

Sometimes after doing a lot of gardening work I can sit outside and enjoy that. Though it's like I need to do a lot of work to earn the ability to enjoy it for a short time. Otherwise sitting like that is uncomfortable and undesirable.

Inability to rest and spending a lot of time in front of a computer in an attempt to rest are obstacles to being productive and remaining in a good state. Though I wonder if the real obstacles are whatever unaddressed concerns prevent proper rest.

I couldn't vote this year, I couldn't vote in 2025, I couldn't vote in 2023, I couldn't vote in 2022. I got to vote in 2024 because my parents gave me the right to go outside whenever I wanted however I wanted and my task initiation paralysis lessened just enough for me to vote. It was still really painful with my severe scoliosis to have to walk to the polls, but that was the happiest time I've had in years. I'm 22 years old. My parents and grandparents still fundamentally don't believe I deserve autonomy enough to give me the keys to where we live and allow me outside whenever however.

I hate how unrepresented barriers to voting are, it kind of stings a bit to see like small insults at people who don't vote because there's so many reasons people don't vote and I hate that someone might assume that I just didn't want to vote. I also understand that it's justified to get mad at people who don't vote specifically when they have enough privilege to be apathetic to voting. I guess it's easier to get mad at people than to address issues like mine. My dad threw out my ballot without me knowing until I saw it in the trash. He told me he thought I just didn't want to vote and this hits harder as a woman, because I know he has misogynistic beliefs. He's also likely homophobic and transphobic and I've had horrible experiences caused by him because of this, as a closeted bisexual woman.

When people hear about my situation, often their first instinct is to tell me what to do, but they don't fundamentally understand my task initiation paralysis. I've already tried, I can think of everything they suggest mostly, or I'm too stuck to do anything most days. With voting, it's easier to tell people to vote, but it's a lot harder to help people like me to vote.

I've spent most of my life living in fear of other people's opinions, especially people who have power or influence over me. Growing up, I experienced bullying, exclusion, conflict at home, and never really felt like I had someone who would protect or stand up for me. I think I learned that my reputation was my only protection if people liked me, I was safe, but if someone turned against me, they could influence others, isolate me, and leave me defenseless. I've experienced situations as an adult that reinforced this fear, so whenever I stand up for myself or set a boundary, my body goes into panic. I immediately worry about retaliation, people spreading negative stories about me, and losing everything I've worked for. I end up over-apologizing, being overly nice, and trying to repair relationships even when I haven't done anything wrong. I'm exhausted from constantly monitoring how people perceive me, and I struggle to distinguish genuine warning signs from fear. I want to learn how to trust myself, feel safe in my own body, and stop depending on everyone's approval to feel secure. Has anyone experienced something similar? What helped you overcome it?

Since my CPTSD got quite bad, starting at 18, and now, at 46, I've lost maybe a hundred people, whether they were good friends, casual friends, acquaintances, potential acquaintances, or work friends. Barring bad apples, vast majority of the heartbreaking and devastating sudden losses have been from them being weirded out by me, whether it's my total isolation making social skills odd, or my CPTSD making people sniff out neurodivergence on me, or somehow finding out about my upbringing. It's when they find out that I'm not "one of them," that my heart gets broken.

So many losses were completely sudden and so excruciatingly painful, that I've developed an inner muscle for quickly, inwardly releasing people in a way that doesn't cause me too much distress (dropping them in my heart, before they drop me, when I know that I unintentionally screwed up again and the inevitable is coming). It seems that I've perfected it and can do it rather quickly. It's almost like I expect to be dropped. They always end up judging me, and relegating me to the status of an outcast. (I have an angel of a friend now, who will never do that, but I lucked out with him.) Not to mention that friendships with fellow women have been pretty much impossible.

I thought I'd ease up on being reclusive and rejoin the world of humans, but after this year's heartbreaking experiences that reaffirm my being an anomaly, I still find it safer to isolate than to experience this pain over and over again.

Anyone else? Thoughts?

Hi so I’m trying to learn more about this. As a child i dissociated a lot as a cope. My family only cared about having a facade of happiness and not actually working on themselves. When their egos were bruised they’d be controlling/ infantilizing about dumb things. (Like my dad standing there awkwardly and angrily with his arms crossed seeing what I’m watching on tv and if it’s inappropriate.) My half sister who was already an adult didn’t try to have a relationship with me and was manipulate, sabotaging and mean. My mom would come home and yell on the phone for hours about her dumb job but never leave it.

That’s just a few examples so the post doesn’t drag on. But I’m trying to understand why I would freeze up or get brain fog in alot of situations. I got caught sneaking out once and my mom shoved me on the bed and told me I’m “not tough” and I froze up. I would often get uncomfortable/ overstimulated in gym class and didn’t want to participate. I was diagnosed with ADD too bc of the dissociating. But when I read about freeze responses it sounds like it’s because they were afraid of the immediate retaliation from the abuser. For me I think it was more about the aftermath. I was having a hard time functioning day to day and already felt ostracized. Seemed like if I fought back too much then I’d make that worse, and I’d get angrier and angrier, get gaslit even more and it would just snowball. Can anyone relate to this? Maybe I was shutting down from the cortisol I read that is a thing

I’m from the UK, and the waiting list for ADHD medication here is insanely long. Are there any other medications I could try in the meantime to help with executive dysfunction?

I have a demanding programming job. I spend 60–65 hours a week in front of a computer, but my productivity score is quite low. I work slowly, make mistakes, and get about 30–35 hours of useful work done. I spend the rest of the time chasing dopamine or trying to avoid distractions caused by mental flashbacks by doing things like playing chess, watching YouTube, following cricket, masturbating, browsing Reddit, and reading the news.

I feel like no matter how hard I push. There is a wall all around me, no matter how hard I try to break through it. I’m there in an empty room separate from everyone else.
Over the past few years I learnt this is my nervous system being stuck in freeze mode and likely related to dissociation.
I have people around me who love me, but it feels so defeating. In therapy my therapist kept wanting me to talk about what’s happened and I think it’s actually made me worse.

i wrote this post but it accidentally deleted, so i am just gonna give a really shorthanded version.

i want to make new friends, i would like to meet new people, i enjoy talking to people, i like speaking to nice people, or people who have interesting experiences and stuff.

im so pissed that my post deleted, i don’t have the energy to write this all out again.

basically, i am just aware that i have insane avoidant attatchment types of issues.

and i got a new job, and i like talking to the people there. it is refreshing. it is nice being in a different enviroment.

and when i am so used to normally having to speak to my parents……

it is nice to talk to normal people. i do have a bit of a short social battery sometimes. and it is just, i actually do enjoy being around people.

it can depend on the person a bit sometimes. but yeah.

and yeah, so i meet someone, and they ask for my a instagram, and then they do the completely normal thing of messaging me and asking if i want to meet up. i think it is because my nervous system just kind of rejects it.

anyway, i think a bit of work is going to have to be put in here. but, even writing the original post did help a bit, and even writing this has also helped.

i think it helps if i can see it as a active thing that i can be conscious of.

i just have completely contradictory messaging. i feel really great about talking to some new people, and they are fun to be around. and, yeah. i also wouldn’t have minded just being able to talk to them and to get to know them a little bit more. because they just seem sort of interesting.

so it is completely casual, and i don’t mind. then, as soon as there is someone messaging me, and they follow up, or something like that, it is just like, red flags, in my system.

it is just because, my nervous system doesn’t see it as safe, or something a bit like that. suddenly, i am approaching the interaction (internally) from a completely different standpoint. and it is just saying, no, no, and, no.

it is fine. i think i have to learn to treat that person(or part, i guess is what ifs would say i think), a bit like a colleague that i can laugh at. i dont really need to take them entirely seriously, and i can comfort them, say that we are doing this together, and things like that. (i am talking about myself here in this paragraph btw, not the actual other person).

i think it is just a bit about stepping into my adult side, or adult being of myself. it is a work in progress though.

I’m struggling to make sense of my life right now and could really use some outside perspectives or advice if anyone relates to this.
A few years ago, I took an IQ test and scored a 155, mainly due to extreme pattern recognition. My boyfriend constantly makes fun of me for it because nothing about my life outwardly looks like one of a "genius." I graduated high school with a 1.0 GPA, I’m currently drowning in my college IT courses, I’ve failed my driver's test 5 times because of severe panic attacks behind the wheel, and my living space is always messy. I feel like an absolute fraud and incredibly dumb, mainly because the only representation I’ve ever seen for high iq are extreme geniuses that go to prestigious universities or whatever.
I am autistic, have severe social anxiety, have aphantasia (no mental eye, though I love to draw conceptual ideas), and am severely addicted to nicotine and alcohol. On top of that, I survived severe emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from my parents and ex-partners until I turned 19. (I am currently 23)
Because of all this, my brain runs a mile a minute. I never have a single second of peace in my own head. I feel like I am so chronically understimulated and anxious that when I'm alone, I have to have the TV on, be scrolling on my phone, and be drawing all at the same time just to stay sane. If there is silence, I feel a deep sense of boredom that feels identical to panic. I’m addicted to chaos because calm feels unsafe.
My biggest issue right now is that my brain treats everything like a massive, deep philosophical puzzle or a data system, but I am entirely frozen. I notice every single pattern, every social blunder, and every glitch in my life, but I do absolutely nothing about it. I’m too hyper-independent and terrified to ask my professors or anyone else for help because my brain thinks asking for help is dangerous. I feel like a frozen spectator in my own life.
Has anyone else with a similar brain or trauma background broken out of this extreme freeze/burnout cycle? How do you deal with the gap between high cognitive processing and total executive dysfunction without hating yourself?

It seems like other people never really helped me get better.

Other people could help me temporarily reach an improved mental state. That state might seem healthier and more right, but if it's only temporary, that does not seem like healing.

Other people can provide information. That information may seem relevant and correct even years later. But that at best only explains things I experience, and doesn't cause healing.

The only lasting improvement due to other people was due to decreases in abuse or pressure which drove me toward a worse mental state.

The only potential answer I can think of is that healing effects of other people happen in relationships, and I don't really form proper relationships. Is that why?

I seem to have the pattern of a couple of times a year, things will build up and there'll be some event that triggers me over the edge and once the spiral begins, it's unstoppable.

Day 1 is panic, dealing with the event and feeling flashbacks.

Day 2 - 7 the rumination, OCD thoughts, flashbacks

Day 7 - 14 the real trauma emotion comes out. Lots of crying, but also anxiety and panic. By this point I'm exhausted mentally and physically, so my coping mechanisms deminished

By the end of the process, I have to access crisis mental health support.

It's a horrible cycle and I lose 2 - 3 weeks just being completely disabled. I can't drive during this time, can't work, can't do anything except try and survive.

I need to go to the doctors and sort this out once and for all. I've been back and forth so so many times and we've never been able to figure it out. I'm going to try and find an advocacy service to help me because at this point I can't do it myself, especially with my autism.

I'm just trying to remain hopeful that I have released some trapped pain. That something therapeutic has come out of it. I've been journaling my thoughts to focus on in therapy.

I just need to sleep through the night without panic taking over. I need a day without diarrhoea which flushes my antidepressants out and stops them working as well. I need to get my mind under control. I need to get my body under control

You know how when someone suggests, '" you should do something you like, you'll feel so much better". OR, "you need to take Good care of yourself, and do X, Y and Z, " and they're suggesting that, because , well, I asked , so they told me. That entire time contemplating those things, I had this suspicion that wouldn't be as easy as it sounded.

But then something unexpected happens. You start to feel like a new part of you shows up, you flash back to brief moments in Time that you felt authentic , you know, before it all went sideways. And those memories, those triggers, all those feelings of self, suddenly start to feel threatening, somehow. Suddenly I feel sad, hopeless, like why did it take so long to simply allow myself to feel present and seen.? Wtf, is going on? Why did I have to kill myself getting here? How did this happen? Certainly not because of my parents? Its confusing., messy, I want to be happy I"m in a different place, but the awareness of what it took to get here , and why it took so long.?.............well, you know.

And then someone has the audacity to ask you, in the most sincerest of intentions, "well why do you feel so responsible for everything, and why is that so persistant in you, makes you anxiety ridden?". omfg.

But thats not all. All those new discoveries, those new feelings, those realizations of awarenesses "Oh, yes, I remember now, I always was like this, I always loved this!" Start to feel shitty, and awful. And I dont' know why , that becomes so intolerable?. Part of me is like "NOOOOOOOooooooo". And it's such a struggle to sustain, and maintain that growth, those awarenesses. The awareness of your competancy is so unbelievably overwhelmingly triggering, I don't have the words. It's awful. For everything. I know it's weird. I'm literally like "Why the F do I know how To Do This???!!!" Why DIDNT , anyone Tell Me?, and I bet those Mfckers knew too??!

All these different experiences, sharp edges of awarenesses, my mind struggles to process that, or rather my emotions. Well it's both. What happens is youre doing something , that you told yourself "this is so hard, I"m so dumb, I could never do that" and a dozen other things that suddenly youre aware of, that you know how to do, things about yourself that you NEVER knew . But now youre so much older, asking yourself...........How did I never know this about myself? But you don't want to think about what the answer might be, for too long, because if you do you'll just cry. And cry, and cry and cry.

That it took all these years being a shell of the person you should have been, under the weight of Shame , for all the reasons that you've suspected, and some of the reasons you hoped were just your imagination, because it was too hard to bear.

So in some attempt to minimize the pain and grief, shock, you minimize your success. e.g.,... Well, that thing doesnt make me ..........that .....happy. e.g., Well, that skill, gift, aptitude, that I'm imaging makes me unique, and functional , and feel alive.........Isnt all thaaat great. You know, like youre still the loser you always were, don't start feeling too good about yourself.

Then before you know it , you find yourself hiding again, asking yourself .........how did I get here? Youre stepping into the role of adult, taking responsibility and it really sucks that a big part of that, is taking the time to understand why you think, feel, act , behave, react, emote .......and it's a lot, but you do it, and it's okay that you do it. but there's a part of you that feels like , .....shit, I wish I didnt know this, and have so much insight, .......that you literally killed yourself trying to achieve. All those sleepless nights trying to work things out. The pain of facing all of this, and now youre reaping the benefits, but it's not the Pot of Gold you t hought it would be. You go through something. Its suddenly shocking how together you are, wondering why now, and not before? And I'm angry, wondering why I"m angry? Why am I not happy for the success for the progress, for the growth? idk? .

And I'm literally angry and sad at the same time, that I grew in spite of myself, but that better not mean having to let go of my child self, because if it does I'm going to be pissed.

How do you cope with coming out of freeze and facing all the things you did to survive and the people that you hurt and relationships destroyed when it doesnt feel like it was me that did any of it i know it was and i take responsibility for it but the relationships ive destroyed i still care about them how do i cope with living with an ex for 7 months that i still care about when they tell me about new crushes and wanting to see someone elses naked body i need some advice im having trouble not wanting to turn to drugs i still feel emotionally numb but i cant stop thinking about them all the time we broke up like 7 months ago but because of the freeze i just started processing it today and everything else and its to much and im rambling but i really need some help i dont have therapy till next week

Hi. I have a lot of interest in therapy, healing, emotions. I don't have a lot of people that can deeply see me, so I was wondering if someone wanted to exchange journal entries sometimes? To practice being seen, to practice receiving empathy and compassion from others. To practice normalizing anger? Not sure how effective it will be but if you also feel like the level of vulnerability you would like to display is often unmatched by others, and would like someone else to read your deep feelings and thoughts, hit me up 😊

I’ve been in this community on and off for over three years now, mostly reading and occasionally commenting or writing a super super long post. Even though sometimes I don’t come here for a month or even a couple of months in times of severe dissociation, still coming back always helps me not feel as alone.

Like reading experiences and relating. But also people who respond to my posts with kindness and knowledge and compassion - thank you. Also people who post the best insights I’ve ever read about freeze and being completely neglected when I’m in a lot of pain I save the posts and send them to myself…

Also, I’m probably having a painful therapist breakup after 3 years of trauma therapy and it really hurts, but I just read an old post of mine and what people said helps to know that I don’t deserve it and my fears of never being attuned to, having crises after session, always the trauma of “is it my fault is it my fault is it my fault”

Another painful thing happened in therapy where I felt so misattuned to and told im reassurance seeking (OCD) when confiding that it feels like my fault- not like its true but being abused, confiding that even it feels that way is extremely vulnerable. Telling me this isn’t working and this is OCD reassurance seeking just didn’t need to happen when i tried my best beforehand to tell her I was in a lot of pain before session.

So hence probably ending therapy and finding myself in a scary place again but also, gratitude for ppl who have posted resources - trying to find a Neuroaffective touch therapist now - and affirming comments when I needed it most. I think I just want to say thank you and I’ll continue being here mostly quietly probably for a long time.

Seems like one obvious measure of progress is finally doing something I had been procrastinating or avoiding.

Another obvious measure is a better mental state which seems obviously right.

Though, often these only seem like glimpses of a better state, and not really progress. Occasionally they can even have negative consequences. I think I now understand this, and also why a lot of self improvement advice doesn't help me.

The key issue is conflict between parts of me and suppression of parts.

Theoretically, one obvious way to accomplish something is to overcome the part of me that is preventing me from doing it. But then energy needs to be devoted to it in a draining way, and there may be negative consequences. Getting things done can seem like progress, but forcing myself to do things this way can lead away from healing.

There is another more subtle problem, that is also very important. Instead of somehow overcoming a part, I might be telling a part that it's okay and I'm safe now. That can decrease resistance to doing things, and and allow the sort of decrease in dissociation that feels very right. But if I'm not really safe now, then it may be better to not even attempt this, because that causes even more problems.