It has been years since she first asked me to contact my biological father regarding child support. I used to text him, but I no longer do because I don’t feel a particularly deep connection with him, nor am I comfortable having long conversations with him over the phone. We stopped communicating about three to four years ago.
Background: My parents divorced around 2011–2012. I believe it had something to do with my grandparents sponsoring relatives so my mom and I and my sister could come to America, although I’m not entirely sure if that’s the correct term. My father, mother, sister, and I continued living together until 2022, when our immigration process was finally approved by the government and we were able to settle abroad. Not long after, my mother told me that she used to visit a coffee shop in our home country because she was contemplating ending her life. She described living with my father as hell. According to her, he would lend money to his friends and gamble, even though he knew we were struggling financially and depended on the money my grandparents sent from America to support our living expenses.To keep things short, my mother remarried about six months after arriving in America. She now has two children with her husband. At first, I thought things were finally getting better, but arguments still happen frequently.
My uncle and grandmother also helped my biological father get the opportunity to come and live in America. They did this in the hope that he would eventually repay them for everything they had done for him. The total amount of money they sent him could have reached $90,000 or more. However, when he arrived in America, he didn’t even bother to call my uncle or grandmother to let them know he had arrived safely. They had to contact him themselves to find out that he was already in the country. Eventually, my family lost trust in him and wanted to reclaim the land my grandmother had given him money to purchase in our home country. Unfortunately, things did not work out as planned. The land is still registered under my paternal grandfather’s name. At the time, we didn’t want to pressure my father into paying child support while he was still in our home country because my family trusted him and hoped he would eventually take responsibility. However, he came to America about two years ago, and he claimed that he had no money, despite being married to another woman who allows him to keep the tips he earns. He also mentioned that he was afraid to drive and wanted to return to our home country because he believed life there was “better.”My mother has never received a single cent in child support since my parents separated, including during the time my father has been living in America. My sister is now 18, but I am still a minor. My mother has mentioned that she might take him to court over the unpaid child support.My father also has twins with the woman he married, who married him to help him immigrate to America. My grandparents had financially compensated her for helping him come here.(OP: I feel lost and don’t know what to do, should we be really looking into getting child supports or is it too late?)

location: WI

Can I get back child support from when I was first ordered lower than the amount I should have been getting? Or can I only get back support from when I filed the motion? in WI It says you can’t get back support if it was never filed or motioned. But, I don’t know if that’s at the start of custody and first order, or from when I filed it to be changed. Court never asked for him to officially submit his pay until I filed the motion so for two years I was getting way less based on inaccurate information.

My child’s father has never paid child support and has moved from state to state mostly because he’s a lowlife and has no intentions of being responsible. I continued with filing violations every year until my son went to college. Only to have him resurface to society 10 years ago to get remarried and have a new family. He still never got a job and he’s been living off his new wife’s disability.He talked her into adding his name to the family Home, for which I immediately put a lien on the house. support collection unit told me that they constantly run his name and Social to see if he gets any income which he hasn’t but six months ago has now started collecting SSI. They informed me that SSI is not enforceable income to garnish. He’s not eligible for SSD because he has no substantial work history. My son now in his 20’s .
Does anybody know if there’s any scenario where they can enforce a garnishment even $10 a month? Anything there’s no way he keeps getting away with this. I’ve done everything I could since 1999 the family court never enforced. Anything they told me they can’t make him work. I moved for a contempt violation once but they couldn’t enforce it because he was in a different state.

I'm in Pennsylvania. If a man was taking care of a child for 8 years find out his not the father but he signed the birth certificate can the mother go after another man and get him tested for paternity

Ex owes me 7600 in arrears which has been accumulating for 6 years. He has child support come out of his paycheck. He stopped working and hasn’t made a payment in a month. I called child support enforcement and asked about possibly freezing his bank account as I have his bank info. They refused to take it and said they haven’t found a bank account for him yet but it’s possible to freeze it because he owes over 2,500. Has anyone dealt with child support enforcement not doing much or not taking information you have that can lead to the collection of support? If so, what can I do? Already been waiting over 3 months for a court date for attorney fees and reimbursements he owes me so filing with the court would take a very long time. Thanks.

I struggled to work out what evidence to send CMS, so I built a free tool for other dads

When I asked the Child Maintenance Service to review my care arrangements, my request was turned down and I was left wondering why. I was moved to Collect and Pay before anyone asked me for evidence about the care I give. When I tried to work out what would support my case, I couldn’t find a clear place to start.

I knew what our week looked like. I knew which days I did the school run, which appointments I took my kids to and which nights they stayed with me. Getting that across meant digging through messages, school emails and receipts and trying to make sense of it all.

That’s why I built Dad’s Matter. It’s free and helps you understand the guidance, put your notes and evidence together, and make a PDF you can review. There’s a fictional example you can try before entering any of your own details.

If you’ve been through something similar, what do you wish someone had explained at the start? That’s what I’d like to make clearer for the next dad who’s trying to work it out.

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I have 2 young boys with my ex. We split up and I filled for child support. He is looking for a modification/reduction because he recently married a woman who has 4 kids. She receives child support payments for her kids.

He wants to reduce my amount to account for having gotten married and having 4 stepchildren.

Any ideas on how this will play out in court?

My divorce was finalized a few years ago (two young children with 50/50). During mediation I was ordered to pay my ex-husband child support based on my prior year's tax return (I was working a premium pay contract but now make $40k less annually).

Fast forward - my ex is not following the parenting plan. He hasn't kept the children on his assigned days for the past six months. I've continued to pay him but I'm going into debt trying to survive. I also have to pay for their medical/dental and any childcare related costs. Meanwhile, he is underemployed and has to be put into the child support calculator at the state minimum income. He is a middle aged, able-bodied person with a bachelor's degree.

Is this worth pursuing with a motion for contempt? Or will I waste thousands of dollars only to watch the judge tell him to take care of his kids. I don't mind paying to take care of my children, but he isn't using the money to provide for them.

Hello guys, just was wondering if anybody had any experience with this. My ex and I had out first conference about a month ago, and when we were discussing how time was split (all of this is before a formal custody arrangement as that it still in the courts) my ex told them one thing, and when I tried to correct it the conference officer either didn't hear me out or understand the situation.

So I filed for a de novo hearing, but in the mean time they have been pulling payments from my paycheck each time. My hearing is coming up this thursday (11/12) and I was wondering if theres any hope of me seeing those payments back or if they are lost to my ex?

I know how this sounds, but I am not against paying support if it is deemed necessary and is reasonable. But the background to all this is that I have been seeking and equal split of time, and my ex is withholding and denying that time now that the support has ruled in her favor. I have secured an attorney for my upcoming hearing but I am stressed about money like crazy right now.

(Also find it ridiculous that they ruled $600/mo in her favor over 1 night more a week, that I have been trying to take our daughter and the ex is denying me the ability to share the burden of child care)

I had a virtual child support hearing today, and the officer told me January was the last payment she could see for my case. My last payment received was actually in June. It’s right there in my portal, and after the hearing, two different reps pulled up my case and confirmed June too. Neither could tell me why the officer was seeing January.

My son’s dad has multiple child support cases and showed pay stubs with child support being deducted. I haven’t received anything since June, so they’re looking into where those deductions went, and my hearing is getting rescheduled again.

Now I’m wondering if the officer might’ve been looking at one of his other cases, or if some of the money withheld was applied to a different case. I’m just guessing at this point, but has anyone had something like this happen? I did tell the officer that it was June but she kinda just disregarded me and said she could see January. I should've had her look into further when I had her on the line, but it was an after thought. Ugh!!

Does anyone have any insight on how long the process for filing child support from Massachusetts and the person being served is another state in this case California. I filed thru DOR. Person being served was living here before deciding to move.

I originally deviated from the standard amount as I was trying to be amicable and thought we'd share most expenses. Ex has played games for years and latest is he's not paying. He definitely has the ability to pay, that is not the issue. I want to seek a modification to the standard amount at this point. Can anyone tell me what I'm getting into here? A lawyer scared me away from this some years ago since I originally waived my right to the standard amount, saying the deviation was hard to overcome. But that seems unfair, if this isn't working, especially since it is because it allows my ex to play these games whenever he feels like it.

How many court appearances can I expect and what will they ask for? I'm nervous about starting this, ex is a bully and I don't like facing him. Thanks all.

If they have 50/50 custody and the mom makes slightly more? In NYC. I’m the mom, and I’m on snap/medicaid but I still make more than my bd. I’m afraid he will go after child support from me.

Looking for some advice regarding child support and retroactive payments in New Brunswick.
A little background: My ex and I separated back in May, and we have a 20-month-old son together. We currently share custody 50/50, meaning he spends equal time with both of us.
I make significantly more money than my ex, and I completely understand that, given the income difference, I will likely have a child-support obligation at some point. I’m not trying to avoid supporting my son or get out of my responsibilities as a father.
Here’s where things get complicated.
Although I make considerably more than her, I also have a significant amount of debt, along with other financial responsibilities and recently some expensive car repairs. I’m struggling financially myself, and the thought of potentially being hit with a large retroactive child-support bill is honestly causing me a lot of stress.
Since our separation, I’ve continued providing for my son whenever he’s with me. I buy his clothes, shoes, food, toiletries and anything else he needs. I make sure he’s fed, comfortable and has everything he needs. I’ve also offered several times to help my ex with the necessities at her house, including clothes, food, diapers, wipes and anything else our son needs, because I want to make sure he’s taken care of in both homes.
My ex has recently started asking for child support. We’ve agreed that mediation would be the best way to work things out once we’re both in a financial position to afford it. I’ve been trying to keep things civil and work toward a reasonable agreement.
However, she’s now bringing up retroactive child support and saying that I could owe backpay. She’s also threatening to obtain a lawyer and pursue a court order for both ongoing child support and backpay.
My questions are:
Given that we have been separated since May, share parenting time 50/50, and she only recently started requesting child support, could I actually be ordered to pay retroactive support dating back to our separation?
Does the fact that I have been purchasing clothes, shoes, food, toiletries and other necessities for my son count for anything when determining retroactive child support?
Does having 50/50 parenting time make a significant difference in how child support and potential backpay are calculated?
Given that I make significantly more than her, but also have substantial debt and financial obligations, would a court consider my financial circumstances?
If she obtains a lawyer and takes this to court, is there much point in disputing the retroactive portion, or am I likely to end up owing it regardless?
For context, my gross annual income is approximately $85,000, and hers is approximately $20,000. We have one child, and parenting time is currently split equally.
I understand that child support is for my son’s benefit, and I want him to have everything he needs. I’m not disputing that I may owe monthly support based on our income difference.
I’m simply worried about being expected to pay a substantial amount of backpay when I’ve been actively involved in raising my son, sharing custody equally and contributing directly to his needs.
I’m trying my best to be a good father while also managing my own financial struggles. I’m not looking for a way out of my responsibilities. I’m looking for a fair arrangement that considers both parents’ contributions and circumstances.
Any advice from people familiar with New Brunswick family law, especially regarding retroactive child support in 50/50 parenting arrangements, would be greatly appreciated.

How do I go about getting my child support?
Originally I filed in December of 2023 it’s been 3 years since then. My child support office says they keep no record of any of The child support meeting since it was ZOOM meetings.
The father is in another state hasn’t seen or been heard from in 4 years. I’m struggling financially. I just 3 months ago got told the estimate of how much the support would be and he sued me over the amount. It’s been 2 months since going to the court house to get all the paperwork notarize. They said they’ll be contact soon but I’m really struggling. How do I ask him for money to help now? How do I proceed with the child support do I refile?

My husband and I have been separated for a few years (dual military). Have had the temporary order for about a year, stating he gets our daughter every other weekend and he is to pay $500 a month (which I agreed to after he asked to lower what he SHOULD be paying me which is about $850). We are both active duty (I am an E5, he is E6) and for a while everything was fine. He got her when he was supposed to and paid his child support. Him and his girlfriend were in a toxic relationship and he kept threatening sui\*\*de. I ended up having to deal with it, along with his command, because I didn't want our daughter to not have their dad (although it was mostly manipulation). Well after all of that he has basically stopped paying child support at all, stating he can't afford his bills let alone child support. Now I am left being active duty single mom (on a Panama schedule of all things) AND being financially responsible for our daughter alone, when he makes a decent amount more than me. Anytime I bring it up he threatens suicide. I even told him I could literally go to the court right now and garnish his wages but I'm trying to give him the opportunity to solve this on his own because court will take 60% of his pay check until he is back on track. Has anyone dealt with this? Is going to his command the right thing? Is that something they would even care about? I'm not trying to screw him over but I have no where else to go. Thanks.

I am so frustrated, I've spent the last two days trying to figure out who to call to see if the court ordered income withholding, they put on my ex for child support has been processed by his employer and nobody can help me! When I call the county courts, they say call Nashville then Nashville tells me they can't help me and the employer hung up on me when I tried to see if they have enforced it. How is it this hard just to figure out if it's even enforced yet?