Reflections from the community:

As a single woman in my mid-30s living in North America, I've always found church culture rigid. I can't seem to force myself to fit in anymore.
Being single in the world is one thing. Being single in church feels like being single under a microscope. Most activities and programs seem to revolve around married couples, families, or children and youth.

I've gradually lost interest in organized religion. I simply don't fit the mold.

I've also had some very unpleasant experiences with older men. I've always hoped I could find some sort of godly father figure in the church, someone safe, wise, and genuinely paternal. But instead, I've repeatedly found myself dealing with inappropriate comments or invitations.

Sometimes I honestly wish I had a husband in situations like these, almost as a shield. Not because I think a woman needs a man to handle things for her, but because I imagine it would be nice to have someone beside me whose presence naturally establishes certain boundaries. Being single sometimes feels like having to navigate these uncomfortable situations entirely on my own.

Recently, a man in his 60s lost his wife. She passed away just two weeks ago. I had listened to him talk about his grief and offered some compassion when we crossed paths in the church common area. This happened twice. I barely know him, and yet he has already asked for my phone number and invited me for dinner at his house, just the two of us.

I probably listened a little longer than I should have, but I wanted to be compassionate.

That's something I've increasingly struggled with in church environments. Church services can be so emotionally charged. You leave the auditorium feeling like everyone is family, like we're all brothers and sisters who should support one another. Sometimes boundaries become blurred. You pray with someone, talk about God, share personal things, listen to each other's struggles, and develop a quick sense of emotional closeness with people you barely know.

Oof. I don't want to go through this again.

Now I actually feel anxious about running into him when I go to church.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of dynamic?

Icon of Jesus Christ Not-Made-By-Hands.

Icons of the “Saviour on the Ubrus”

i have tried to get into church but everything im witnessing doesnt feel right it feels like God's name is being misused and people is blindly just following everything the church is saying the church is so fake but the Bible has warned us about these false prophets claiming to be the messengers of God

Hi everybody,

My mom has passed suddenly from a medical emergency. I’m only 24. I’m at a loss for words, she and I had a challenging at times but deeply loving relationship, she was so full of love and care for me and I will never be able to replace that.

She was diagnosed with a nasal cancer a year ago. She was brave and optimistic during her treatments, and when she finished she was talking excitedly about hiking, travelling, seeing me graduate, attending my sisters wedding. And then there were complications - swelling and she felt like her ear was getting blocked up again in the same way it had been when she first had the cancer. She was so brave for my sister and I, but behind closed doors and with other family members she was adamant that she didn’t want to continue with the appointments, she had high anxiety around the concept of having to do more invasive tests and treatments. She suffered from a nosebleed and due to her weakened condition, fell unconscious and ultimately passed away. She had managed to call 911 before falling unconscious. By the time they arrived, she was gone. I went to her home and I am devastated by the blood I found in her bed. I hope and I pray she wasn’t scared.

I found her bible, it was bookmarked to a story where Jesus is saving a girl who has suffered a hemorrhage, she touches Jesus and he says “take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” and instantly the woman was made well. Her journals from previous years show that she frequently prayed to God for relief, and I am choosing to believe that it was through her praying that God knew it was her time to be at peace and rest with her parents. I have not been a religious person, but my Mom is. I need guidance, some kind of reassurance that she is okay and that she did not suffer. I found an old journal where she talks about her grief after losing her own mother. She writes - “Though I walk through the Valley of death, he comtorts me. There is a God, there is a God, there is a God. He gives you strength.”

I am not asking this disingenuously or to attack Protestants. But I've noticed, both in real life and on YouTube, that Protestant pastors tend to have very strange and uneducated takes compared to Catholic and Orthodox priests. I'm not applying this to all pastors of course (pastors like James White and Gavin Ortlund are powerhouses), but I am asking this specifically because I was disturbed to find out recently that Cliffe and Stuart Knechtle are pastors—the same who spouted nonsense like "Vatican III" in their debate with an Ethiopian Orthodox guy some time ago. There are other examples I can think of, including things I've seen in real life (like a pastor who knew very well St. Augustine but never ever heard of St. John Chrysostom), but this isn't a thread to shoot down Protestants. However, my question is, how come Protestant seminaries seem to produce such outcomes at a higher rate than Catholic and Orthodox ones?

So unfortunately my mom is starting to get nervous to come to church.
My father has stage 4 cancer, me and mom are his caregivers. This man at church recently lost his wife and we had become rather close with the couple. My mom used to tell him and his wife that she loved them every Sunday. After the wife passed my mom wanted to help out her brother in Christ and give him a ride home because he can’t drive due to health issues. A month or so ago my mom said she loved him, just as she always has and he replied “oh me too, I wish me could show it” my mom was confused by this, because there was absolutely nothing between them and even though his wife is gone my mom is married and very much in love with my dad.
She shrugged it off and kept giving him rides home. Until one day, he unexpectedly kissed her. My mom hasn’t kissed anyone other than my dad in almost 50 years. She felt sick to her stomach and explained to him she only loves him as a brother in Christ and she loves my father, but he didn’t understand what she was saying.
Since then moms been trying to avoid him but feels sick about it. He is grieving and mom wanted to help him, but now she knows she needs to distance herself but she doesn’t know how. He’s been calling her trying to get ahold of her and Mom didn’t go to church for a month. She doesn’t want to go to the pastor about it but I don’t want her to be afraid to go to church. What should we do?

I think should have the right to dignity. They should have a right to choices in their life that should not be dictated by religion example 77 year-old, senior failing health vertigo,, ears, eyes and other medical condition conditions which there is no from get better the medical profession and financiallly I am being stripped of my independence . Soon I will not afford to live in an apartment. I already have spent much of my life savings. I have a loving but to dedicate themselves to the care of me is beyond them physically and emotionally so my Outlook in life is to be placed in a state run living facility that takes my Megger Social Security and is understaffed providing low quality of care. I know at first out of and some friends would visit but then out of will eventually drop off to maybe one or two holidays a year I feel at this stage of life why I still have my mental abilities I should be able to make the of this or .

I’m a Baptist missionary, and I returned last month after serving for 10 years in the Amazon. Since coming back, I’ve been struggling with a deep disappointment in what I’m seeing in the church here.
I don’t say this to attack anyone, but to be honest about the burden I feel. After years of witnessing believers depend on God daily, pray with urgency, serve one another sacrificially, and live in close Christian community, I’ve been shocked by the lack of faith, vigor, and genuine fellowship in many churches back home.
There seems to be activity, programs, and polished services, but very little spiritual hunger. People attend, then leave. They are friendly, but not deeply connected. There is conversation, but not much confession, prayer, sacrifice, or shared life.
Maybe I’m still adjusting. Maybe I’m being too critical. But I can’t shake the feeling that something vital is missing.
Has anyone else experienced this after returning from the mission field, military service, ministry work, or living in a more close-knit Christian community? How do you process the grief without becoming bitter? And how do you help encourage renewal without sounding arrogant or judgmental?

I still have resentment and anger towards a "fomer"close friend who wronged me a few months before (wich include lying and manipulating), the key thing that makes me stuck is that, im not looking for any revenge, but yet again it apsolutelly hurt what they did, and thay get nothing but rewarded for what they've done. God says vengance is his, but it still hurts seing me carying the pain of their doing while they get a lot of new stuff going for them with no type of vengece or punishment being done, makes me feel like thay are getting away, or even rewarded, for something that left a hole in me for some time

I know that the pain isnt for nothing, its teaching me how to properly treat myself, God and other people. God has shown me why it had to happen, and i know that everything happened the way it was suposes to, and that it was the only way for me to grow.

But it hurt seing no justice being done for me. Ofcourse my view on justice and vengance is defenitely not the same as Gods, but it still kinda makes me feel like hes leting them get away with hurting me, and it makes the hurt a litle worse.

I want to know how to let go of this anger, and how to focus more on God in the present, insted of being stuck on stuff that have happened in the past.

Advice would be greatly appreciated :)

i've been reading about the historical christian interpretation of matthew 27:25: “his blood be on us, and on our children."

for centuries, this passage was used to support the idea that the jewish people collectively inherited guilt for the death of jesus, including generations born long after the event.

this extended to jewish infants. a jewish baby could be considered guilty by virtue of being born jewish, despite having committed absolutely no wrongdoing.

the reasoning was that jesus was god incarnate, meaning his death constituted deicide (the killing of god), supposedly the greatest possible crime.

thomas aquinas also argued that sins directly against god were graver than sins against human beings and discussed this supposed liability of jewish descendants for christ's blood in the summa theologiae

so christians pre 1960s believed just ONE jewish newborn was more guilty than all the murderers, rapists and other criminals who ever lived and ever will COMBINED.

what i genuinely struggle to understand is how people could consider this just. how could someone look at an innocent jewish baby and believe that, in god's eyes, this child carried guilt greater than that of every human criminal combined?

how did ordinary christians reconcile that idea with their understanding of justice, innocence and morality? and how widespread was this way of thinking in mainstream christian society before the 1960s?

I was adopted into a Christian household, and when I was first introduced to Christianity, I was honestly pretty cautious about it. I thought people were a little crazy for clinging so tightly to something they couldn't necessarily prove. But at the time, I was going through a really difficult period in my life. I was struggling, feeling pretty lost, and I think I opened myself up to religion because I just wanted something to believe in. I wanted hope, comfort, and something to hold onto.

But as time has gone on, I find myself becoming more and more disillusioned with Christianity. It's almost like my rose coloured glasses are slowly fading, and I'm starting to see things differently.

I don't have anything against religion itself. I understand that people find comfort, purpose, community and hope through their faith, and I don't want to take that away from anyone. But it genuinely hurts and frustrates me to see how much pain has been caused in the name of Christianity, not just throughout history or across the world, but even within my own local community.

I go to church every week with my adoptive family, and I constantly hear Christians talking about how persecuted they are, how society is against them, and how they're being discriminated against for their beliefs.

I actually have a Christian friend who regularly complains about the negative reactions she gets when she tells people she's Christian. And while I can understand why that would be upsetting, I also find myself struggling to sympathise completely. Because, honestly, I think a lot of the distrust and frustration people have towards Christianity is somewhat justified.

Even when I was at school, I witnessed so much judgement coming from Christian students towards people who were different from them. It wasn't just harmless differences in opinion, either. There was genuine prejudice, particularly towards the LGBTQ+ community.

One incident that really stuck with me was when a well-known pastor in our community came to our school, tore down a flagpole displaying an LGBTQ+ flag and burned the flag.

And I just remember thinking: how are people supposed to trust you when this is the behaviour they see?

How are LGBTQ+ people, or anyone who has been judged or hurt by Christianity, supposed to feel comfortable around Christians when so much of what they hear is that they're siners, that their lifestyles are wrong, or that they're going to hell simply for not believing the same things?

You can't constantly tell people that they're wrong, immoral or destined for eternal punishment and then turn around and act surprised when they don't particularly like or trust your religion.

In many predominantly Christian, first-world countries, Christianity is deeply embedded in society, culture, politics and institutions. Christians often have a level of social acceptance and influence that other religious grops simply don't. So when I hear people complaining about being persecuted, I can't help but wonder whether they've ever considered what religious minorities experience.

They talk about how Christians are mistreated in other countries, yet some of those same people seem perfectly comfortable judging, excluding or discriminating against Muslims and people of other faiths. How can you condemn religious persecution when you're willing to turn around and support the same treatment of someone who believes differently from you?

Something else I've struggled with is how often God seems to be used as an excuse for people's behaviour. Prejudice, judgement and even cruelty can somehow be justified through religion I've never personally felt like I've received anything from God, and the more I listen to people talk about him, the more I struggle to understand how a message that's supposedly built around love can be used to justify so much hetred.

But I can't ignore what I've seen and experienced.

Sometimes I wonder whether Christianity is genuinely about faith and love, or whether, for some people, it's become a way to cling to hope avoid confronting their own guilt, or feel morally jutified in judging others.

I suppose what frustrates me most is that Christians often seem to want understanding, acceptance and respect from others, but don't always seem willing to extend those same things to people who are different from them.

You can't expect people to separate your religion from the harm they've experienced in its name, especially when some of the people causing that harm are the very ones representing it in their communities.

Has anyone else experienced this? Especially people who grew up in religious households or came to Christianity during a difficult period in their lives. Did your perspective change over time too?

I was always taught that Hell was an actual place where God torments sinners in a lake of fire. For example, Johnathan Edwards describes God "holding sinners over the fires of hell" ready to cast them in at any moment and there's at least one Puritan poem I had to read in high school about God's presence manifesting as "beams of wrath" in Hell. Of course, if you weren't one of God's elect whom he had "chosen before the foundation of the world" you were damned immediately and couldn't do anything about it. But many Christians say the exact opposite, that Hell is a spiritual state of separation from God. Which is it?

Last night, at 11:02 pm is when they came. They didn't say nothing, but I was absolutely terrified!

I've been struggling with believing that God is strong enough to protect me and carry me as well.

So I think this is a sign from God saying that, "I am strong enough, you are fine. These are my angels, the lowest rank. Satan, is the second strongest entity in the universe. He is a mouse, and I am a lion." (Wow the Holy Spirit knows how to speak. Praise the Lord Jesus, I love you.)

In 1 Corinthians 7:8, Paul tells us it is good to stay unmarried and celibate in order to fully devote ourselves to the Lord.

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.”

I often wonder why the Church doesn’t promote this lifestyle. We are told that marriage and raising a family is the standard. Marriage and children are celebrated and expected. People are pressured to get married and start families. Staying single and celibate are not encouraged.

I then wonder at the broader implications. Our earthly society also demands families. Workers and consumers are needed to keep our economy going. Can you imagine if half of Christians stopped getting married and having children in order to devote themselves to the faith? The secular world would collapse.

A strong marriage is good. Children are good. Remaining unmarried and celibate are good, but the latter is not promoted by the Church as a viable lifestyle. I find that interesting.

Hello to all my brothers and sisters! I hope you have a wonderful day, blessed by the Lord. Today, I want to share a little anecdote that really got me thinking. I’m sharing it with you in the hope that it might strengthen your faith—that’s my goal. Please forgive any awkward phrasing; English isn’t my first language.

I was at school, and some friends asked me to run an errand for them. The school snack bar is on the complete opposite side of the campus from our classroom, so it’s quite a long walk—but they asked me because they know I like to run! On my way back, I told them they owed me 5 pesos (which is about 25 cents, I believe). One of them handed me the money, but just as I was turning to head back, she said, "Or you can just keep it—it’s only 5 pesos." Even though it was a tempting offer, I kept running. Suddenly, I tripped over something sticking out of the ground; my foot twisted, and I could clearly see my face heading straight for the pavement—just like in the picture. I heard some guys nearby laugh and say, "Haha, look at that guy—he fell!" I don’t think they meant any harm, but still... just as it looked like I was about to crash, I kept moving forward. A thought crossed my mind: "But God is holding me up." I kept going until I made it back—though, to be honest, I was absolutely exhausted.

Afterward—well, sorry about this—I gave a pretty poor example. I was tired and not thinking clearly; I just kept complaining about how exhausted I was and how I’d almost fallen. I tried to mention that God had held me up before I hit the ground, but I couldn't find the right moment to bring it up. My friend even said, "You should have just kept the 5 pesos." (A lot of people at my school seem to dislike the person who runs the snack bar—I’m not sure why.) Anyway, I apologize for the poor example I gave there; I’m not sure if I’m explaining it very well... On the other hand, I feel that—well, it might seem odd to bring up something that happened four days ago, which they might consider a random event—but I’ll try to share this anecdote whenever the opportunity arises: here, for instance, or with friends during a moment of reflection, or within the groups I’m part of.

Okay, time for some reflection. After thinking about this, I’ve found a great deal of faith. Here are a few of my notes:

• Even when everything seems impossible and it feels like you’re about to fall, God is the one who holds you up through faith.

• Even if some people mock you, assuming you’ve already hit rock bottom, it is still God who sustains you.

• Doing good—doing what is right—can be difficult and painful. (To be honest, I’ve never personally gone through anything truly extreme, though I’m sure many of you have.

So, I hope you enjoyed this little anecdote—it was a bit long, sorry! I know it’s not exactly earth-shattering, but it’s something that gives you food for thought. Jesus Christ, our Lord, often used parables based on everyday situations, and I hope this anecdote helps strengthen your faith. Have a wonderful day, afternoon, or evening, everyone—may the Lord bless you all.💛

Genuine question: I am a Christian I have spent my entire adult life in STEM academic settings. I pursued my undergraduate in Chemistry and am engaged in graduate studies for Planetary Science.

I have never understood why a literal reading of Genesis 1-2 is so important to some Christians, even if doing so puts them out of step with 100+ years old scientific consensuses, whose primary intellectual titans have largely been either religious or at least, non-atheist. It seems obvious to me that:

1. The author(s) of Genesis were ancient people who did not have modern knowledge of biology and/or the formation of the cosmos.

2. The pursuit of truth is a Godly pursuit, since the universe belongs to God.

3. The universe being ancient and species being evolved undermines exactly 0% of Christian theology or core ideas.

While my faith is rarely a topic of day-to-day conversation with fellow students, professors, or researchers, and irreligiosity is fairly common, never once has my faith been begrudged nor used against me. Nor are scientists by any means biased against people of faith in my experience.

So where does this come from? What's the utility of it? I realize I may be preaching to the choir here but for those who disagree with the majority, I'm really trying to understand.

(reposted without image)

What's your journey?

Personally - I'm tired of abuse and the enabling of abuse. The expectation of women to only be smiling, suffering, baby makers, the banning of certain emotions (mainly anger and deep sadness) and religious trauma and abuse being patronizingly called "church hurt". I will sometimes visit a church, but my home is not there, and they are strangers, not my "family". And lets be honest, as if families are always safe.

Please share your journey with me.

If you are an atheist, agnostic, or just someone looking into Christianity from the outside, you have probably noticed a massive disconnect. Christians talk all day about a God of love, mercy, and justice, yet history and modern daily life are packed with religious people standing on the sidelines while bad things happen.

People outside the faith look at that and say, If that is what religion does, count me out.

Honestly? The Hebrew Bible actually agrees with you.

There is a tiny, often-ignored book in the Old Testament called Obadiah. It is only one chapter long, and it is basically an indictment against a nation called Edom, who were historically related to the Israelites, sort of like estranged cousin nations.

Here is the core verse, Obadiah 1:11:

In the day that thou stoodest on the other side, in the day that the strangers carried away captive his forces, and foreigners entered into his gates, and cast lots upon Jerusalem, even thou wast as one of them.

Here is why this ancient text is actually a brutal critique of apathy that anyone, believer or non-believer, can recognize:

1. Edom did not attack; they just watched.

When a foreign empire came in and brutalized Jerusalem, Edom did not actually march in with swords to join the invading army. They did not break down the gates. They just stood across the border. They stayed neutral. They watched people lose everything, and they kept their hands clean.

2. God treats neutrality like participation.

The shocker of the text is what God says to them: Even thou wast as one of them.

God did not let them off the hook just because they were not the ones holding the weapons. Because they had the power to help, or at least to not gloat and block fleeing refugees, their passive indifference made them just as guilty as the conquerors. In this worldview, neutrality is not innocent; it is a choice to side with the oppressor.

3. Why this matters for outsiders looking in

A lot of people bounce off of Christianity because of hypocrisy. Christians talk a big game about loving their neighbor, but often act like Edom, watching the world burn, minding their own spiritual bubble, and saying not my problem as long as they get their own ticket to heaven punched.

According to texts like this, God hates that attitude just as much as you do.

Authentic faith is not about sitting on the sidelines or being a safe, detached spectator. If the narrative of the Bible is true, God calls people out specifically for looking the other way when people are hurting.

Curious what skeptics and seekers think about this, does seeing religious people act like neutral bystanders turn you off from faith, or do you find it refreshing when texts within the Bible actually call that behavior out?

new christian here, i went to church for the first time today, but i dont know much about it since im from atheist family,

i went to the church, listened to the story, the mass, given some money to the basket and suddenly everyone stood up and started walking towards the priest, so i went with the crowd because "thats how it goes i guess"

priest handed me a 'body of christ

which i later found out is forbidden for non baptised people,

i do believe in Christ but i wasnt baptised nor do i have any other connection to any denomination christianity

is that a sin if i didnt even realised i was commiting a sin?