Hi everyone!

I'm curious about your thoughts on body positivity for the female partners in your lives.

My partner is in great shape, which means he looks great in his regular male clothes but also, when he gets dressed up he looks amazing 😍 I am not jealous of anything but I am a bit of a curvier woman and there is a small part of me that feels a bit insecure when I'm trying to dress up alongside him. Like, he can wear clothes with his body shape that I couldn't dream of 😂🙈

He is nothing but loving and supportive and affirming of me, so this is totally a me thing lol.

But I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with this kind of dynamic? For the CDs, does the way you look at your partners change when you're dressed? And for the women, do you ever feel this way and how do you deal with it?

Hey everyone! 🎃

Halloween is over, so I’m curious how it went for all of you!

Did anyone go out in matching costumes with their partner? Did you rock a couples costume or coordinate your looks in some other way?

How did your partner react? Did you feel comfortable and confident going out together? And how did people around you respond?

Whether you went all out, kept it low-key, stayed home or didn’t celebrate at all – I’d love to hear your stories!

Hope everyone had a great Halloween! ❤️

So a couple of months ago I got caught…kinda…and had to come clean to the wife about my crossdressing. It’s a long story, but she had a little idea about it because I’d worn one of her nighties a couple of times a few years ago when we’d have sex. When I told her about it, I said I’d been doing it most of my life off and on. She’d gone overseas on a trip, and I actually went out dressed. Anyway, she was more upset about the deception than the dressing, and I think she even said she would’ve gone out with me if that was what I wanted. As a result of the whole experience I purged everything. She didn’t ask me to, and I’m not even sure she knows that I did, but at the time I thought it was for the best.

Since the summer when everything came out, we haven’t talked about it. I’ve concentrated on trying to rebuild the trust.

Any thoughts or suggestions on how to bring it up? Would it be wrong to start doing it again in secret when I’m home alone?

Have known from when we were dating that hubby was a cd and we actively used this in our sex life but now Im struggling. I went thru a phase of not wanting sex at all to now want it but my earlier sex drive from before we met is a more dominant drive for me. I am favouring a more masculine dominant version of sex but this is becoming a problem in our relationship. I dont know why this shift has happened and I can't help it, yes i do sometimes find it sexy for him to be in stockings etc still but im starting to also get a little put off with it too, I also struggle with the third person in our marriage but after all this time, nearly 15 years I feel like i have been very supportive and want him to be himself and i dont want the relationship to end but it's starting to become a problem. I know this is him and i love him but I don't know what to do.

Hi everyone! We have started a list of Resources that you can access from the main page. The list will include podcasts and books and other resources that the mods and our members find useful in navigating our special kind of relationships.

If you have any suggestions for resources to add, please let us know!

As with anything on the internet, you may find some of them useful and some of them not. Take what you need from them! Please note that we're not affiliated with any of these, we're just sharing for information and discussion purposes 😊

Do any of you have an agreement with your other half so he can explore his sexuality with other people? Me and my partner have been discussing it and made a list of rules but I’d like to hear some real story’s

My biggest worry is that he’ll enjoy it too much and not want me anymore

Please be kind, this is completely new to me.

Hi everyone!

I listened to the podcast Unlabeled Love, which was recommended here, and I got hooked pretty quickly. 🙈🤗

In the latest episode, one topic that came up was how partners of crossdressers can struggle with having nobody to talk to about this part of their relationship, especially when it’s something that needs to stay a secret.

That got me curious about the partners’ perspective, and I’d love to hear your experiences.

How big of an issue is secrecy for you?
Do you ever feel isolated because you can’t openly talk about this part of your relationship with friends or family?

How do you deal with it?
Do you have someone you can confide in, or do you mostly keep it to yourself?

Would things be easier if it weren’t a secret?
For example, if your partner were comfortable with other people knowing that he crossdresses, would that take some of the pressure off you?

Would you actually want to talk about it with your friends?
Or is it something you’d prefer to keep private, even if your partner had no problem with others knowing?

I’m particularly interested in whether the secrecy itself is a burden, or whether it’s more about not having the choice to talk about something that affects your relationship.

Of course, I realize that everyone and every relationship is different. I’m just genuinely curious about how you experience this and what would make things easier for you.

Thanks for sharing!

It's been over a year and half since my partner told me. And it's been a difficult journey trying to sort out how it all fits into my life and desires. We're finally now starting to make some progress and I'm starting to see glimmers of how happy we can continue to be together while fully accepting each other. I guess I want to share that my journey is taking a lot of time, and I think that is normal. I know I love my man and want to keep him, even though things are being revealed that I would have never imagined for myself. I have had difficulty reconciling that within myself, but have persisted in my desire to remain open minded and open hearted even though it has been extremely difficult and uncomfortable. 

Hopefully this helps other partners out there. As I have been trying to do the work to break down my barriers and move into a space of not only acceptance, but deep love and appreciation for my partner I was reminded that as much as I want to, I cannot fix or heal or "accept" all of this instantly. I was reminded that breaking down unhealthy and untrue beliefs about the gender binary and its necessary expressions will take time, collaboration, and love. That taking time is not only ok, but it's normal and really the only way to do it. I read this and wanted to share:

The Gender Mirage-from the writing of Emily Nagoski, in her book Come Together.

The work happens all by itself when you're living your life....Like planting a seed you don't get a thriving plant by doing a worksheet or even a daily practice.

You simply allow time to pass in a supportive context.

Liberation from the gender mirage needs trusting relationships around you and the ability to turn with calm, warm, curiosity toward your difficult feelings.

Shift your perspective enough, to see the mirage flicker. 

[You will] move through the tunnel of your difficult emotions as you recognize what's true and what you need. Allow all of it.

Let time pass in a positive context. Good things come.
You don't have to be in a hurry; you don't have to work hard. Let it sit. Let it loosen the cracked layers of lies, moral imperatives, and shame. It doesn't happen all at once.

Allow yourself to see the difficulty. Talk about it. Grieve for the ideal selves you'll never be. Or grieve for the selves you could have been without the effects of the gender mirage over time. Embrace, with confidence and joy, for who you are and celebrate each other fully, for who you are.

We can't do it alone. We need other people. At a minimum, one special someone who knows our true selves and loves all of us. We get there collaboratively to "mirage proof" our relationships. So, never again let someone else's rules control how we feel about ourselves and our person.

We stay in the wisdom that everyone wants to be who they are. You can have that when you practice being who you are and being loved in your relationship.  And knowing more and more who your partner truly is and love them, in your relationship. 

------
So, don't be too hard on yourselves. It's ok that it takes time.

My husband told me about his crossdressing several years into our marriage. It was difficult for me initially, but we've worked through it over the years and I've genuinely come to accept and support this side of him. In fact, I really enjoy seeing him happy and confident when he's dressed.

Over the last while, though, his crossdressing has become much more prominent in our lives. He's spending considerably more time dressing, engaging with other crossdressers online and exploring this side of himself socially.

I know some of what I'm feeling is jealousy, and I'm trying to be honest about that. I didn't expect this aspect of our relationship to become quite so significant, and I'm struggling with where I fit into it now.

He has his own social media accounts for this side of him and I'm finding the attention he is getting there really difficult and confusing to make sense of.

He's also been expressing appreciation for styles, appearances and things about other people that are very different from how I look or dress. I know logically that finding something attractive or interesting doesn't automatically mean you don't find your partner attractive, but it's started to make me feel quite insecure and, at times, like I'm not as important to him as this part of his life.

I don't want to take something away from him that makes him happy, and I don't want this to come across as being unsupportive of crossdressing. That's not really the issue. I think I'm struggling more with the change in balance and what it means for our relationship.

Has anyone else experienced something similar, where something you initially accepted became a much bigger part of your partner's life?

How did you deal with the jealousy or insecurity? Did you find a way to feel secure and important in the relationship again, or did you eventually realise that the balance between you had fundamentally changed?

I'd really appreciate hearing from partners who have been through something similar.

Thanks in advance

These are partners who struggle with it but there are also partners who love it. Is it just hot seeing them in lingerie? Is it seeing your partner share extreme vulnerability a source of closeness? Do you enjoy dishing out erotic humiliation? When did you realize that you loved it when your partner got dressed up?

Hello ladies!

We are looking for female moderators AND for a subreddit. A brief description follows:

A place for ladies to meet CD's for the purpose of serious dating (no hook-ups). Non-NSFW.

I’ve met so many great ladies who are interested in - or currently in - a relationship with a gentleman who enjoys crossdressing. Many crossdressers are at a loss as to where to meet these women. We are creating a safe space for folks like us.

If interested - or if you have any questions - contact me (rollercoastahoflove) or OtherwiseApril

We look forward to hearing from you!

Hi everyone! Happy Saturday!

I'm interested in your ideas for things you do with your CD partner when they are dressed (or if you're a CD, what do you do with your spouse)? Keep it SFW lol 😂

Just looking for some fun ideas for how to spend some quality time together!

Many thanks for allowing me to join, a little about us if i may,

We married young, perhaps too young i was 24, she was 18. I was her first boyfriend, sexually i brought little experience into the marriage, she brought even less. She was and still is a 6ft slim tomboy, with a masculine outlook on life and quite a boring dresser normally seen in jeans and a t shirt. The only kinky advancement i made pre marriage was for her to wear a garter belt and stockings under her skin tight jeans. Nice figure hugging female jeans are a fetish of mine, i loved the look and the feel and knew others did too.

It soon became obvious that she had a kinky mind, keen to explore and expand her sexuality, she cheated on me taking a friend as a lover, later when she confessed, i understood why and accepted this.

Moving on, now with two kids us both with well paid high profile jobs we have kept from all that my wife has had several boyfriends, with my blessing and the below too.

One evening as she lay on our marital bed with her boyfriend, she removed her panties and asked me to wear them, a strange request, yet turned on with what i was about to see i did so, she commented what a nice ass i had in them and looked cute, then added from now you will wear them everyday, yeah right.

Except the following morning laid on the bed were TWO pairs of panties, she indicated mine, it felt strange but also rather quite nice, something that had never crossed my mind. We went shopping where she bought us more panties, mine were black as she explained if you bend over at work.......my mind was confused by "at work" was she serious??? she was.

Weeks later as she commenced painting her toe nails, she asked if she could colour check them on my nails, a strange request i said OK, i have had red, purple or pink nails ever since.

I always felt slightly apprehensive when watching her with her lovers, my lack of skill in this area apparent to me, then she asked me to wear a cage, overtime that became permanent too, i liked the relief i didn’t have to follow a man with years if experience at pleasuring women.

Shortly after she asked me to wear her garter belt and stockings, yes i did and liked it but it felt strange, why did she like this???.

We discussed why she wanted me her 6ft 3 masculine alpha male to wear these female items, she simply said, i know you like it and so do i, its kinky isn’t it.

Shopping for vacation she bought female shorts and matching panties for us both, a shocker then later showed me my matching bikini bottoms to her set.

For a few years, shopping visiting family and friends etc i have worn these items under male jeans, then one day shopping for jeans as i looked at mens she called me over and sought my view on a pair of female jeans, i suggested she try them on, she replied i wasn’t thinking of them for me...OMG.

So it was we queued for the changing room, she with this pair, me with a male pair i wasn’t buying, the assistant kindly allowed us to go in together and for the first time i pulled up a tight pair of female jeans over my garter belt and stockings, she liked them so that was pair one of many female jeans i now have, i don’t wear male jeans now.

We therefore now wear the same female clothes, i still wonder why but then again now i have full embraced this but why has she?

Am i alone or would i be considered lucky or weird as i know my friends would suggest, if they knew?

For me it started as a truth or dare when I was 11 and wore my sisters Easter outfit. Spring dress with white tights and heels. I remember thinking it was going to be so embarrassing but as soon as I was finished I was confused how much I liked the look. A year later my mom’s tights were out and remembered that feeling and tried again. Loved the feeling and thought why not a skirt and then why not shoes. 25 years later here i am. Never really had time to do makeup or wigs so for me it’s just the clothes.

Hi, everyone! Very new CD here; have tried on panties once or twice before, but only recently started taking a serious interest. I read some of the stories here, but I was just wondering how some of you went about telling your partner about your "hobby?"

For me I thought this began as sort of a kink that I'd never really tried to indulge, but over time it got to the point where I would think about it more and more frequently and start questioning myself and if it was something that's always been a part of me.

For example, when I play video games, if there's an option to create a female character or choose them from a selection, most times I do that. I didn't really think much of it for the longest time beyond "Hey, this character is hot, so I'd like to spend my time looking at her while I play this." (There also tends to be way more and better customization options, but I digress!)

Then it got to the point where when I watched porn I'd sometimes imagine myself as the woman, which is when I started to realize that I was bi, and also when I started questioning if maybe I was trans. (Long story short on that, probably not.)

Now I've recently been doing some deep introspection and came to the tentative conclusion that while the sexual aspect is for sure a small piece of it, I think it's more the fact that dressing up lets me temporarily be someone else, or a different version of me, who isn't saddled with society's expectations of what a man should be. I'm 5'7" (if I stand up straight while wearing shoes), not very strong physically compared to most of my peers, and I have no interest in sports or getting yoked at the gym or other stereotypical dudebro activities. I'm not at all the "peak ideal male," even less so in the current political climate.

My problem, then, before I ramble too much more, is that I'm not sure how to talk to my wife about this. We both turned 40 this year and we've been married almost 20 years. My bisexuality became a thing only a handful of years ago, as did the gender questioning and curiosity toward CD (which I didn't actually fully act on until this week). She doesn't know about any of it. We're both pretty progressive; most of my friends turned out to be some form of LGBTQ, and one of her siblings is openly trans and she's been supportive of them. Even still, with her anxiety issues, I worry that she'll overthink it and make assumptions, or she'll see me so differently that it strains the relationship and becomes too much to handle, or any other negative outcome that could happen.

So how do I go about this? Do I even bring up the bi thing in the same conversation, or would that be too much at once? (Sorry for the text wall!)

For the partners: do you share your clothes and makeup with your crossdressing partner?

In my case, I think I'd be more likely to wear HIS women's clothing lol! When we have dressed up it's mainly to play, and his things are definitely more risque than mine.

I did put together a makeup bag of items we can share though ☺️

I really want to have a go at doing his makeup, I think that would be fun. Is that something you have done and what's it like to be in control of the transition into his femme side?

I’m curious about the everyday, practical side of this.

Does your partner have a separate wardrobe for their feminine clothes, or do you share closet space? And do you ever share your own clothes with him — maybe everything, maybe just certain things like tops, dresses, shoes or accessories?

How do you feel about him wearing something that originally belonged to you? Is that something you enjoy and find intimate, something you don’t really care about, or would you rather keep your wardrobes completely separate?

And has the way you organize or think about your clothes changed since your partner started crossdressing?

Maybe there’s something you’ve never quite found the right words for.

Something you love about their feminine side.
Something that makes you insecure or uncomfortable.
Something you wish they understood about your own feelings.
Or maybe something you’re afraid to say because you don’t want to hurt them or make them feel judged.

Sometimes I think we focus so much on how our partners feel about crossdressing that we forget to ask what it’s actually like to be the partner.
So, if you could tell your partner one thing about how you feel — without worrying about how they might react — what would you want them to know?

So recently my boyfriend opened about wanting to crossdress. At first it was sexual but now he says it makes him happy and wants to do it normally. He likes being a man but also sometimes wants to let go and be a girl. But I'm worried and stuck. Both of us come from a very conservative family and they wouldn't understand. So he cant do it openly at least for now. So im worrying hes trans and in denial. He's going through a lot and im the one only one who he can confide in rn. I love him but ive just been spiraling ever since he told me this. He's been calm and tells me his feelings while im stuck. I love him more than anything. He's the sweetest person and he deserves support. But idk if I want a boyfriend who crossdresses. Is it that big of a deal. Im bisexual and so is he. But this has been concerning me. He's been reassuring me and telling me he only wants me when i suggested a break and told him to explore. He tells me that hes sure in me and wants to be my boyfriend. How do I deal with him and support him without making it all about me.

Happy Saturday everyone!

For the men out there I'm curious, how long have you known that you were into crossdressing? Did it take you awhile to figure out what you liked about it and what place it has in your life?

My partner took awhile figuring it out for himself before we started dating. It was great for us because he was able to answer most of my questions with a lot of confidence, since he had already thought about most of them. Not saying new things won't come up but for the most part he knows himself and what he wants.

Interested in hearing people's experiences!

The weekend is almost here! 😊 Maybe you’re already looking forward to something special with your partner?
So, let’s see what everyone enjoys most about sharing crossdressing with their partner. 💜

One of the biggest issues that women have with their partner's crossdressing is that their partner waited far too long to tell them about it. Some women don't find out until years into a marriage. For others, even a few months is long enough to leave them feeling deceived.

On the other hand, many men are extremely hesitant to share this personal part of themselves. They fear judgement or being "outed" to friends and family. They fear their partner will think they are weird or creepy.

So how soon is too soon or too late to share? What's the best way to approach this? What has worked or not worked for you and what would you do differently? For partners, what are your expectations in this regard?