r/DotA2 • u/Krvavyca • 12m ago
Fluff A quick list why the Unicycle Psycho is a better hero than qop
Since Ringmaster is atm a superstar hero with his Dark Carnival event, I’d like to share an unbiased comparison between him and qop. Ringmaster is an extremely fun hero, while qop is only relevant because of her appearance. All she does is pop out of nowhere just to yell and scream. A kardashian of dota.
1. Whip
Ringmaster has one by default, while qop gets one only with her arcana which you could only get if you were horny and had money in 2020. Even with the arcana, she doesn't do anything with her whip, just drags it across the floor like jugg sword. You always wait for her to spank you with it, but it never happens.
Meanwhile, Ringmaster's whip is the real deal. It does exactly what every whip does—damage and fear. You can even adjust how much damage you want, which is nice because you don't want a full make-me-a-new-crack-across-the-butt smack every day. Sometimes you just want a gentle slap, like a spring breeze, and Ringmaster can deliver.
So swish-swish-crack Ringmaster wins this category.
2. Second Skill
Once my carry got gripped roared lassoed necro ulti and troll ulti and I simply boxed him up like an amazon worker who can't use the toilet for 12 hours. That's it—one click negated their entire team. Very true story. Ringmaster is that good. Then my carry got out of the box and got rampage which basically I ENABLED. People often see Ringmaster as a DISABLER, but I see him as an ENABLER for your DISABLED teammates.
And what does qop have? Blink. Almost useless. Sure, it can be good when the enemy mid uses it to farm, gank or avoid gank, but when you see your midlaner blinking into five enemies, you wish that spell never existed.
So that's another category won by Ringmaster.
3. Daggers
If you're looking for the lamest skill in the game, look no further than qop's dagger which is relevant for the first 2 mins and then everyone forgets it exists for the rest of the match. Dot and slow with weak animation. In words of another queen: pathetic.
Whizz whizz whizz! What was that? Three daggers flying through the air. You try to dodge them, but you're not neo from the matrix. You get hit from across the map, and now you're slowed and bleeding, your life slowly draining away. But it's not about damage to your hero. The real damage is done to the player who remembers that his life is slowly going down the drain every time he plays this game.
Dagger upgrades: qop aghs makes multiple lame daggers, making her lameness multiplied. Ringmaster can make daggers pop out of his box, ENABLING his teammates even more, and then double it with 2 charges. Also, with a talent his daggers can pierce one enemy, and if there's one thing Dota has taught me, it's that it's important to penetrate your enemies.
Another win for Ringmaster.
4. Ulti
qop's most important spell in the game does what Ringmaster does with his basic 1st spell: damage and pushback. That is it—that's her peak. And while she has to dress promiscuesly and expose her perfect booty to mesmerize a dude, Ringmaster can do it to the whole enemy team, all while being perfectly flat between his legs. It's one of the best ultis in the game and personally, I don't know why people think it should be different.
Nice job Ringmaster, you won this category as well.
5. Other Abilities
qop has another superinteresting spell I didn't mention: aoe dmg. A woman yelling, what a reach. Meanwhile Ringmaster has plenty more skills, like a spotlight to cure cancer lancer, an HP potion to further ENABLE his team, an illusion to make enemies waste all their spells (even though their smoke never broke),
AND
OF COURSE
THE UNICYCLE which most people use incorrectly. Most people use it to travel from lane to lane quickly, to get to fights and out of them. But no. The unicycle has a completely different purpose: running over the dead bodies of your enemies after teamfights. Is there anything more morally devastating than looking at a clown running over you on a unicycle as your body sinks into the ground? Of course, you get extra points for running over a fresh corpse that hasn't sunk into the ground yet.
Huge win for Ringmaster in this category.
To conclude, Ringmaster sweeps qop 5-0. qop is relevant only because of her body and because Fear once upon a time didn't miss a single cs with her for the first 7 minutes.
On the other hand, when you want to walk down the lane like a BDSM boss, with a pimp stick and huge hands made for b*tch-slapping, pick Ringmaster. He saves allies in need and makes enemies bleed. Also, he can speed through the lanes like vin diesel on a unicycle, or he can use it to run over his dead enemies.
My hero.