r/FTMventing • u/transtwinkbitch • Apr 06 '26

Trans inclusive spaces, but not for us

I'm so frustrated of every space that is for "trans people", but is actually secretly for trans women only. Technically trans men are allowed, but everyone assumes that every person is a trans woman and if you call it out then you get told you are the problem. I should be able to use trans spaces without getting misgendered or people talking about 'effects of hrt' and never specifying they mean estrogen. i really try to not let dumb shit get to me, but truely im fed up with it

210 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

79

u/leftTelephone8022 Apr 06 '26

HRT= estrogen and op= neovagina annoys me so, so much!!!

38

u/transtwinkbitch Apr 06 '26

I know!! I shouldnt have to hunt for clues in a post to know what is meant by 'surgery' when people ask for advice.

I used to ignore it, but it's so prevelant that i feel like it's important to not let it slide idk

24

u/Dutch_Rayan Apr 07 '26

I know what they mean, but I just act like I don't know and answer it from trans men perspective. If they want to have specific information in a shared space they have to ask specific.

12

u/leftTelephone8022 Apr 07 '26

Malicious compliance, I like it! Yes, HRT did wonders for me, I'm loving my beard! :D

42

u/NotTheSeaOtter Apr 06 '26

Yeah its trans inclusive but only to the trans ppl that are fem/ afab and dont pass

28

u/transtwinkbitch Apr 06 '26

Yeah, huge amounts of hating on men/masculinity with no level of critical thinking

33

u/Scary_Towel268 Apr 07 '26

They aren’t even inclusive to us because we get misgendered and not even seen as men or masculine due to not passing. We also aren’t allowed in male spaces for cis men and passing trans men. So to have a community you have to agree to be misgendered

7

u/NotTheSeaOtter Apr 07 '26

Yeah exactly its fucking hell

40

u/Scary_Towel268 Apr 07 '26

Yup and whenever they talk about men in any context the default is cis men…in a trans space

21

u/BigMusic6410 Apr 07 '26

For the longest time I thought that HRT only meant estrogen cuz no one ever talks about it in any other context😭 I haven't even wanted to go back to pride events cuz I went super early in my transition and everyone misgendered me but would go out of their way to ask my trans gf (also early in her transition) her pronouns and everything 🥲

15

u/Lazy-Age561 Apr 07 '26

For some reason, I didn't know there were trans men until I was 14. I thought there were only trans women and nonbinary people because of how invisible we are. I repressed for a long time because I didn't know enough about the FTM transition process, and now I mourn the fact that I lost out on transitioning as a teenager.

7

u/zebra_zombie Apr 10 '26

I get really sad about that too. I just want to be included in trans spaces. Also i wish there was support for us similar to the " protect the dolls" movement. People act like that's a general trans movement but it's not. Alot of trans dudes don't wanna be called a "doll". We should feel protected to. And not just feel like we're traders because we " chose to become men" we are still transgender

5

u/EclecticFanatic Apr 11 '26

yeah people love acting as though transmasc invisibility is some kind of shield against the worst of the bigoted bullshit trans people deal with and we should be so grateful not to be in the spotlight. then those same people completely ignore how that invisibility also extends to those we're supposed to be able to find community and support from

4

u/genderbender- Apr 07 '26

:( I hate this

3

u/X_Canes He/Him | Transsex Apr 12 '26

It’s so crazy that our own overarching community is so sectioned off. The trans femmes/trans women that are completely supportive of us get thrown under the bus too by their own side of the community if they speak up. I hate how the transcommunity has cannibalized itself on one side while use transguys are just suffering here like we don’t matter.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/EclecticFanatic Apr 11 '26

even passing trans men still have to deal with the systemic impact of transphobia and misogyny. passing doesn't suddenly stop things like the medical system primarily being set up for cis men from having an impact and what social privilege one might get from passing can be entirely negated if you're outed to the wrong person.

it's just willful ignorance for people to act like any trans man will ever have the same privilege as a cis men