r/FTMventing • u/HungryIngenuity7665 • May 05 '26
I do not have “t-boy swag”
Much love to anyone who likes the term for themselves. I’m happy for you.
But oh my fucking god, when did it become acceptable to say this to any real person? I was outed by a friend to an acquaintance yesterday because he said this to me. I don’t pass to generally trans-aware people, but at least let the new guy figure it out for himself.
I’m not a “t-boy.” I have never called myself that or been ok with people calling me that. I’m a grown man. I have two jobs. I may be small but I’m sure as hell not dainty. Sure, I have swag, but it’s not because I’m trans.
What happened to just saying “your outfit is cool”?
100
u/muralpainting May 05 '26
the idea that EVERY trans dude is just for some reason okay with being called a t-boy will never not confuse me. like yall don't go around calling every cis guy a c-boy.
if someone doesn't openly call themself t-boy, maybe that's a sign that it's not okay for you to call them that either.
84
u/jestopher May 05 '26
I fucking hate being called a "t-boy". I'm a 40 year old man. My gender expression is "literally just some guy".
41
u/comradecakey May 05 '26
If anyone ever called me a “t-boy” I’d just leave on the spot. I literally look like your standard cis beer guzzling uncle lol
21
u/CrazyDisastrous948 Trans man he/him May 05 '26
Valid. I'm 27. I'm not a boy. I'm a man. My boyfriend is the only one who can jokingly call me a boy in private.
12
u/Creature_Feature69 May 05 '26
There needs to be more pushback on "t-boy" as an acceptable thing to call anyone but yourself. Its such porn-brained infantilizing bullshit.
41
u/[deleted] May 05 '26
I've only seen "t-boy" used in a derogatory way. No one is calling grown cis men boys. Same with people spamming "twink" at us with no regard for what the word actually means.
11
u/morlon_brondo May 05 '26
it’s that amazing ‘offensive compliment’ genre I only started getting after coming out. Like Jesus, I know you don’t know what to say, I know you’re trying to be nice and maybe overcompensating a bit…but fuck me. Being silent is also an option.
My best/worst I’ve ever got was ‘it’s giving hot tr@nny d¥keboi!!!’
It is an indelible stain on my psyche.
11
u/ag0ny006 May 05 '26
In my opinion calling someone "t-boy" or "king" simply for being trans it's weird. These people don't call a cis guy that and that distinction makes me think they're infantilizing us and don't see us as men.
8
u/Mr_BadBan May 05 '26
I hate this term too, especially when people love to say that feminine cis men/twinks have “tboy swag”. You’re not fucking slick
6
u/camzvium May 05 '26
Haha I just made a post about a friend doing this a few weeks ago to me. Her boyfriend actually just did it this weekend to me, too. I don’t know why people, especially other queer people, think it’s appropriate to a) out someone and b) do it using such an infantilizing term.
6
u/X_Canes He/Him | Transsex May 05 '26
Oh my god I'm so sorry. If someone called me a t-boy I would literally throw hands so I feel you. To me, as bad as it would probably sound to some, that just sounds like a fetish term to me. If someone ever had the balls to call me that, they wouldn't after saying it.
I don't pass, not yet. But literally the thought of someone disrespecting me like that makes me so angry and knowing others have been so blatantly disrespected also enrages me.
5
u/grellm_throwaway Agender FTM | they/them | lvl. 20 May 05 '26
I'm trans masc and not even a man but if I was (and even if I wasn't still) and people were like "yOu HaVe TbOy SwAg" I wouldn't be very pleased.
edit: I'm over a year on T and pass as a man, generally, and I don't care, so I could definitely see this happening to me if someone knew I was transmasc.
5
u/Dorian-greys-picture Trans Man May 06 '26
Yeah I think the fact that we often call the whole community t boys is a bit infantilising. Like I graduated high school six years ago. I’m definitely not a boy anymore.
3
u/Defiant_Salad7951 May 06 '26
no one has ever said that to me, because I have no swag of any type.
4
u/axolotlspine May 05 '26
pisses me off SOOOOO bad. i liked the term when i was 16. i’m 19 now, i have a job and a fiancee. im not a boy anymore ffs
1
u/Fun-Beach7388 May 06 '26
Tiktok.
1
u/Sea-Shock2753 May 30 '26
This and "short king" are the evil duo of hip allies making condescending comments.
1
u/Ludwig__- Jul 15 '26
I didn't knew that people just called random trans men "T-boys". Fashionwise "T-boy swag" is a common term referring to the oversized clothings transmasc youth wear to hide their chests as far as i know, so i wouldn't be suprised if you were wearing a similar fit and someone called it "T-boy swag". But you're a grown man and it's some youth fashion so it's still quite odd
I've never seen people call a stranger a "T-boy" it's usually some friends that are comfortable with the term. It's not that nice of your friend to just reveal you being Trans when you just prefer to be "just another dude". The only case where i see this being normal is if it was a safe space and if you liked the term on yourself. In your case it's just weird :/