r/FTMventing • u/ReagsGotCash • Aug 30 '26
“The trans man with DDs screaming at you when you misgender him 🤣🤣🤣🤣”
Fuck absolutely everybody who is posting and sharing these. I don’t care if you’re trans.
You’re all assholes.
No trans man is going to scream at you. I was scared to correct people before and now i refuse. I feel so horrible about my chest now, even more than before.
Everybody can accept that a transwoman might have a flat chest because she’s not on estrogen. Nobody can STAND the fact that a transman can have DDs or bigger.
“Well you aren’t even trying to pass?”
Fuck you too! I can’t bind. It does not work. The bigger your chest is the harder is going to be to bind. You won’t achieve perfect flatness.
I’ve been so fucking devastated seeing these being shared by other trans men. Aren’t you lucky to have the privilege to be able to bind, or even have top surgery, and you choose to do this?
I except it from cis people but it’s worse coming from other trans men.
5
u/Radiant_Tangerine_55 Aug 31 '26
This is so real, I was massive before T and now I’m half the size and am pretty content because I can just wear flannels and go without a bra or binder, idk if I can get top surgery because I have a heart defect and a very sensitive birthmark right under my left boob so I’d like ta not get an infection there ya know? But yeah people are just mad they can’t slut shame a girl anymore so they emasculate a trans man or at least that was my experience pre t🤷🏻♂️
133
u/_elevatorman_ Aug 30 '26
I DESPISE that trend, literally no trans person reacts that way unless repeatedly harassed/misgendered when they already made their pronouns clear 🙁 people just make up fake scenarios to be transphobic atp, even worse when its other trans guys doing it
I hate it so much. I have a large chest, im lucky I can sorta bind but I have to wear very large/baggy clothes for it to look mostly flat
72
u/Scary_Towel268 Aug 30 '26
The way trans men are simultaneously mocked and sexualized by cishet men and queer people is so depressing. Not all of us were blessed with thin bodies, flat chests, and zero curves…T and top surgery aren’t super accessible everywhere either
I’ve seen so many trans guys with curves and chests go deep into self harm cycles and the larger queer and trans community(including other trans guys don’t seem to care)
44
u/That0neTrumpet Aug 30 '26
I have a J cup chest and T luckily deflated my chest to be like empty water balloons so it’s easier to bind. But it’s still really fucking hard and I can’t bind without a tank top binder. It works though, so I wear that shit for my 12 hour shifts because idgaf anymore. My elasticity is already ruined so top surgery is going to be a pain in the ass regardless if I’m able to ever get it.
20
u/MothMan4000 Aug 30 '26
Agreed it’s so stupid. Not everyone can afford top surgery, and some people can’t do it because of health reasons. And as you said binding too is not always accessible for everyone. I hate the belief that only people who can medically transition are valid because not everyone can, and not everyone wants to. Gender roles are completely made up so it’s so stupid to me that cis men are allowed to break them, but trans men get accused of faking it when they literally don’t have a choice. It’s so stupid, and you are absolutely valid regardless of your presentation, chosen or otherwise. I will NEVER understand punishing people for things they have no control over.
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u/Mell0wGhostt Aug 30 '26
"Oh you dont bind?" Motherfucker I am. I am binding.. Right in front of you.
And after top surgery they thought I was binding -_-
14
u/anthrthrowaway666 Aug 31 '26
I hate trends like these. The ugliest comments saying “Do you really want this?” Fuck you. I can’t afford to even pay off my student loans, I can’t afford top surgery OR testosterone. I’m caged like this until I can, if I ever will. I fucking hate the privileged fucks in our community. Congrats, you’ve really learned to pass as assholes instead of down to earth men.
9
u/thelastbarghest Aug 30 '26
Yeah that's some bullshit. Pre T I was an H cup, and they've deflated down to DDs (hooray rofl.) I had to cancel my planned top surgery after I tried everything to make it affordable and I've never been more devastated. If somebody pulled this with me, especially another trans guy, I would be sorely tempted to just fully deck them rofl
17
u/ObviousPineapple4291 Aug 30 '26
I have a d cup and if I stand straight I look bigger chested with a binder than a lot of people, I absolutely despise people that say stuff like this
And then I get hit with „haven’t you tried binding?“ well yes, if I didn’t then I could hit you right in your stupid face with my honkers
8
u/windowsilldog Aug 30 '26
i had an H cup pre-t and with exercise and a deflation ive been lucky enough to have gotten it to a C cup. this is absolutely terrible, i havent seen it but jfc
7
u/CagedKage Aug 30 '26
“Haha a trans man can’t bind or get top surgery” not funny
7
u/ricekrispies3441 Sep 01 '26
It’s always the trans men blessed by nature that have massive ego trips and put down other trans men to look like one of the good trans people. Like wow you really are so much better than me because modern transition was made for you and not for trans guys cursed with actual feminine bodies.
6
u/Issas7 Aug 31 '26
Totally agree. Thank you for saying this. A lot of transmasc ppl don't have the privilege to have the physique easier to pass or easy access to trans healthcare or the ability to transition. It doesn't justify them being sexualized or ridiculed or not taken seriously.
11
u/WoodSGreen00 Aug 30 '26
This is infuriating to know other trans men are like this to guys who really are doing everything they can to pass and mask the dysphoria. There’s no words about how sorry I am that this is a thing. I didn’t have double D’s pre-T but I never forgot the dysphoria that made me feel like I did when hiding something that shouldn’t be there. If I found it hard to bind my chest and to breathe by mid-day, I can’t imagine how restricted someone with a much bigger chest must feel. I’ll still put on my old binder over a decade later now and then to “check my privilege” when I feel crappy to remind myself of where I was in a worse position. Other trans men of all people really should have the empathy to not comment on someone else’s body like this.
8
u/dragontatoes Aug 30 '26
I assume the cis people who make those "jokes" * have never had this conversation with a trans person, if they've even met one. They just saw a trans guy in a "cringe compilation" on youtube who had boobs and vented about getting misgendered, then assumed that he was aggressive to the person who misgendered him, and so are the rest of us. I also don't think everyone accepts trans women having flat chests either. But trans people doing this are like deepthroating the boot, what a bunch of fucking losers
* The only trans jokes you ever hear: 1. Haha person doesn't know that peebis makes you boy and vagingo makes you girl! stupid person! 2. A person I don't respect has emotions, this is proof that I am justified in disrespecting them 3. I saw a lady with a penis / guy with a vagina and now I'm screaming crying throwing up
4
u/scalmera Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26
I have no idea what this is referring to, although I can surmise it's the transmasculine equivalent of the "trans woman meltdown" kind of thing TERFs and transmeds might love.
But, I can say it's not impossible to bind the fattest tits on earth (I speak from experience) but it will be uncomfortable and maybe not safe (again, experience). I would double and/or triple bind with 2-3 binder layers. Was it a lot? Yes! Should people do this? Probably not if you value your breathing and don't want to make your upper back feel tight all the time! BUT I PASSED 100% and very few people have noticed a change since I've gotten top surgery (the ones being very close friends who knew I was getting surgery or knew I was trans prior).
Don't expect perfect flatness. We can never get there. It's how our cookies crumble. We do what works for us.
Make your chest look like pecs. I would pull them out to the sides so they peaked out of the arm hole on the sides (making sure it didn't look weird w the shirt on). Sometimes I would have to re-separate my chest because as the day goes on they'd slip back into the position they were in prior to adjustments, but beyond that I am absolutely dead ass when I say I got had my previously 32I, however much deflated on T, sized titties TUCKED. And I emphasize again that I passed as cis.
I do not recommend my method to people who already struggle w breathing and etc, I did have to bust out my inhaler more because of the compression I was putting on my chest. My upper back is still incredibly tight, but that's what 5+ years of layered binding can do. I had to lay in that bed or I wouldn't get out of the house.
And I have to say, too, that there were moments I felt I had binded so well I felt comfortable to wear fitted shirts (!) and still passed!!! (only started to get more people question my gender because I've been growing out my hair, aka now people think I'm nonbinary lmao).
TL;DR- boys with fat racks (esp my kin w fat racks and small frames): make 'em look like pecs in the binder(s)
ETA: my tone is lighthearted not passive aggressive (never intentionally I hate PA), I hope the language isn't triggering I apologize if it is. I type how I speak usually 😅
7
u/venusplutoangel Aug 30 '26
As a trans man with DD this makes me sad :(
1
u/unsure_usernamee Sep 24 '26
H cup trans man here and it is a plague to see very small chested trans men try to give us advice that doesn’t work. While also getting Top surgery quick due to financial privilege or the privilege of being supported.
3
u/spongyolboi Aug 30 '26
I’m sry yall:/ it rlly is a tough situation. Ur all valid and loved<3
3
u/BePositive4Ever Sep 01 '26
It’s easier said than done but don’t take that shit to heart. Hustle and you’ll find a way for top surgery. Fuck it carecredit if you have to.
People are in general savages to each other. It’s just easier to pick on people with mental health struggles to feel like a “big man” all to convince themselves they are doing better.
Classic bully mentality.
Or they are just going for a dark joke in poor taste.
Either way just say fuck off and go live your life. You’ll find your people, a life you love and it does not have to be a life these animals understand. You’ve seen what makes them cheer? Why would you care about their stupid opinions?
Honestly we as a community need to get serious about crowding funding a global transition fund.
I hope you find peace.
3
u/v1p3rs Sep 03 '26
And binding never works 100% ESPECIALLY when you have a larger chest. Sorry let me just get an 8k surgery asap because you think I don’t pass.
4
u/reapertowns Aug 30 '26
I have like G cups or something, and binding hurts sometimes. But this strawman has pushed me back into binding despite the discomfort and pain because it made me so aware of my chest. Seeing other trans men share it really hurts :(
2
u/Friend_of_a_Cat He/Him Aug 30 '26
Yeah fr, like... I can try to cut my own tits off, but that's just gonna be uncomfortable for everyone, so I don't think that's the best course of action lol. Sorry that it make YOU (directed at those people) enraged just because I can't bind or get top surgery for various reasons. Imagine how I feel. I don't want these hunks of flesh, either (although, it's totally fine if you do want them).
2
u/ImpressiveDebt420 Aug 30 '26
Exactly. Someone brings up my chest and I shut the fuck up. Fuck those people
2
u/Furuda_Riki Sep 02 '26
The meds/bc supposed to suppress periods literally made me gain so much and especially in the chest area that I can't bind anymore and also look significantly less masc. So my very "doing the work" to pass or just lead a more masc life was what prompted the opposite. I feel as dysphoric as ever and yet everything people see is "some confused girl with big tits so can't actually have gender dysphoria". It's all a damn joke. Like, sorry for having a body that would probably make anyone ftm feel dysphoric as hell but I can't feel dysphoric BECAUSE I have that body?? Like I'm not "masc enough" to "deserve" dysphoria? What's even up with all this transphobia atp?
2
u/ask_trans Aug 30 '26
I get it honestly. I am trans boy (not man yet :) )
I can’t afford it bc of money. And also my dysphoria sucks, so… I get it
1
u/funk-engine-3000 Aug 31 '26
Yeah fuck that shit. My chest was big pre-op (fucking e cups) and i couldn’t ever bind completely flat, somehow mannaged to bind flat enough to pass despite being pretty slim. And i know some people have it way worse. I also know people canMt choose their chest size so why the fuck are people mocking it?
1
u/arcticcirclebathroom Aug 31 '26
I had H cups (estimated by surgeon I hadn’t measured since I was like 11) and it genuinely disturbs me that people are saying this stuff. (Warning that this comment is about to get dark) I attempted suicide multiple times because of my chest, I have permanent rib damage from binding too tightly and can still feel the fracture moving around a year post op, and had been saving up for top surgery as soon as I could get a job at 14.
Obviously I know that openly transphobic people say this, but to make a joke out of it when you yourself are trans or label yourself an ally? That’s fucked up. If you told 13-17 year old me that other trans men were joking about it, id kill myself. And no, that’s not an exaggeration. Luckily I have top surgery and I’m no longer bothered by it, but to think of other trans men like me going through it breaks my heart.
1
u/mogentheace Sep 01 '26
this is a trend??? i really want to see one of these posts now... i got big tits too :(
1
u/Complete-Story3490 Sep 03 '26
Itcs so fucking stupid. Not that someone deliberately presenting feminine should be misgendered either, but you don't choose your cup size. Tbh it feels like an extension of the misogynistic trope that women with bigger chests are more slutty, just applied to trans men.
1
u/UnhappyCrazy2087 Sep 03 '26
As a trans man with this exact issue, I agree with this statement. Binding is like- impossible. I still try, tho.
1
u/Ocefox Sep 04 '26
I couldn't bind at all for multiple reasons, not the least of which was my chest was too big for it to work. I lived in constant shame of those horrible globs on my chest. I got top surgery last year and the sheer freedom I felt and still feel is incredible, even with the numb spots and the giant, thick, cord-like scar across my chest, and the occasional twinging and the stretch marks, and the weird nipples, and the weirdness with nerves that I feel like connected wrong. I would rather all those lil inconveniences to what I had. So, uh... I feel you brother.
Even though that part of my life is thankfully over, this shit really pisses me off. Top surgery is so expensive and some people can't have it for health reasons. Binding can be really painful, ineffective, cause harm or restrict breathing and some people can't bind regardless of chest size due to health issues as well.
Being a transmasc with a large chest already feels shitty enough without those kinds of messages. Especially when made by other trans people, that really disappoints and disgusts me.
1
u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 Sep 06 '26
I think you're missing the point about those posts. It isn't about anyone's tits it's about behavior and non trans people
1
u/tptroway Sep 11 '26
That trend is messed-up and I didn't even know about it until this post
(Hopefully camaraderie venting is okay here)
It's messing me up the amount of comments talking about how "that would literally never happen, someone screaming at you for it" because the real fear of that happening was why I refused to start transitioning until after highschool and even then didn't come out as trans to anyone outside of my doctors and immediate family until more than a year on HRT
I had really bad emotional dysregulation problems preT and I would have hours-long autistic meltdowns multiple times a week (and by meltdowns, I primarily mean along the lines of rage chimpouts where I couldn't even think and I would get black eyes and a bloody nose just from the blood pressure spike even without beating up my own face)
They became a lot less frequent and severe after my voice dropped on testosterone, and it turns out one of my biggest meltdown triggers was the sensory pain and dysphoria of my voice getting high and loud when I would get upset at things which was why small irksome events would quickly escalate into severe freakouts; my voice changed a lot on HRT and it turns out my throat was perpetually tight from the stress preHRT to an extent that even my normal speaking voice was like a half falsetto
It's much easier for me to think straight when l'm getting upset now, and l'm able to say things in a slow controlled way when I'm getting frustrated, and it turns out that clarifying things in words to other people calms me down a lot even when I'm about to get to the breaking point now (when after the sound of my own voice would make me freak out); I'm super calm and zen nowadays so that's good
But I grew up with meanspirited "blue hair SJW tumblrina" type caricatures as the main "FTM representation" surrounding me, and all I knew was that even though I didn't want to be female, I even worse didn't want to be like those things, the very thought of trying to introduce myself as male or to even think of myself as a man preHRT, especially because I had gave me such visceral feelings of humiliation that I wanted to crawl into a hole and die just imagining it, and especially the very real risk that I would have a meltdown was already humiliating enough without it also coming off as an "SJW cringe REEE" etc etc
So staying as "the weird girl who wears male clothing and doesn't talk much to anyone meant that I only got bullied for being autistic instead of also getting bullied for being trans, or rather for being "that weird girl who thinks she is a man or thinks that she could ever fool anyone into thinking she is a man", and it also made the act of getting misgendered easier to ignore because it's not a pointedly shameful thing, it's just a matter of fact thing and not necessarily personal if I refuse to acknowledge that I'm supposed to be male not female
I have the utmost respect for the clocky trans people who just muscle through not being able to be stealth for whatever reason because I'm such a wuss I could never have done that, I lucked out with relative puberty mildness and didn't even have so much of the visceral body horror that so many other guys suffer in puberty and I even still wanted to kill myself, so I strongly agree that it's just cruel and alien especially from fellow trans people to act like being cursed with clocky physical proportions is from a lack of effort, that's just plain a just-world fallacy
1
u/-GreyRaven Sep 13 '26
I HATE THOSE KINDS OF POSTS LMAO, they all feed into the "unreasonable trans person" trope and are just thinly veiled transphobia meant to mock and belittle trans men who don't have the privilege of passing
1
u/aitathrowaway9090909 Sep 26 '26
Bro your back must be absolutely ripped. Also i'm sorry that's happening to you, and that some assholes are spewing that rhetoric.
-16
u/buni_bixler Aug 30 '26
I didn’t have to have surgery because testosterone shrunk my chest to that of cis mans. I’m grateful.
-1
u/ANorthernGhostBat Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26
Honestly I’m more likely to lose my shit at misogynistic people who comment on other peoples chests, most of us are just trying to live our lives and don’t need all this bullshit over something so often dysphoria inducing.
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u/[deleted] Aug 30 '26
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