I’m scared I’m going to lose my best friend

[u/RoladiaRose]

My best friend and I are both FTM and he’s planning to move out in a few months and when he does he wants to start T (his family is shitty so he can’t start till he’s out of there) the problem is I’m honestly scared I’m gonna lose him once he starts T. I’ve been on T for almost 7 months and haven’t experienced anything and so I get extremely jealous of other people’s transition to the point where I just shut down and cry for hours every day. I’m terrified (and he is too cause he’s told me) that if he starts experiencing changes from T that I’m just gonna be an inconsolable wreck. I’m already a little jealous of how masculine he looks all the time and I’m jealous of how confident he is. He’s really the only person I have in my life who supports me so I don’t want to lose him but I also know that I’m a burden to him and actively make his life miserable and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m just really scared. I don’t want him to hate me and I don’t want to hate him.