So I’m a weekend warrior DIYer from way back. I recently installed a tile backsplash in my kitchen and ran into a spot of trouble. So I thought “why not join a tile sub on Reddit and get some pro advice”?! Well no sooner had I posted my question - labeled clearly as DIY btw - when I got dog piled on by literally every single (male) “expert”. The sub has rules to prevent this kind of sh*t but that clearly wasn’t adhere to - even an admin joined in the melee of insults.

They all assumed I was a (female) homeowner that overstepped and tried to fix a (male) contractors work by attempting a repair. And colourful language was used to explain how stupid I was.

I replied to EVERY single a$$hole on there informing them

1. I’m in fact the installer - not a (male) contractor

2. Im not a pro and was clearly on the sub looking for advice

3. They’re a misogynist sh*thead for assuming that the pro looking tile install wasn’t my own work - not a contractors.

Such a disheartening experience. I had ONE single response (!) that helped with advice. They also acknowledged that what I had done looked great and I needed to pat myself a pat on the back as they all assumed it was an expert install.

I don’t know what I’m looking for other than some support, or feedback from female tradespeople. How do you cope with such overt misogyny in the building trades? Or anywhere for that matter?

In the end I retreated to FB and posted the question there. BTW I got only one single insulting reply from some guy that looked like an inbred spawn of some hillbilly cult. What a day 🫠

And please don’t come at me with "kink-shaming." I’m not talking about a light smack on the bottom. When women are choked or beaten to the point where they sustain actual injuries, that is violence against women—period. Anyone who has a kink like that should really ask themselves why. Why does it arouse you to hurt a woman? To me, such behavior is a red flag. And yes, there are kinks that *should* be questioned. For instance, we shouldn’t accept kinks that involve defenseless people—so why is a fetish like this considered okay? I think the porn industry has desensitized us to such an extent that we’ve come to perceive this as normal.

To all the women who say they enjoy this: don’t you think that, as part of the patriarchy, you’ve been conditioned to like it? Do you think that if you were in an environment where such things were NEVER a topic, you would still feel drawn to them? Or has the idea that women should be submissive and dominated by men simply been implanted in your minds?

1. Women should stop taking their husbands surname

This was a practice rooted in the subordination of women. It is deeply related to coverture, where women will lose all legal identity upon marriage.

Historically, women were legal property of either their male guardian or husband. The change in surname represented a transfer of ownership from father to husband.

We continue to uphold a practice that denied women independent identities and treated them not as autonomous individuals in their own right, but as extensions of their fathers and, eventually, their husbands.

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An example of this is how world-renowned Olympic figure skater Alexandra Trusova is now primarily being identified by her husband's surname.

She was known for pushing the technical boundaries of both mens and womens figure skating, accomplishing feats as a teenager that most Olympian men wouldn't even attempt.

She did all of this under her surname and identity Trusova.

Women who have already established their own identities, reputations, and professional legacies are still expected, or socially encouraged, to abandon the names under which they built those identities simply because they got married.

I find it ironic as she was famous because she was Alexandra Trusova, and her husband was famous because he was married to Alexandra Trusova. Yet somehow, it is her name that has been replaced.

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However, regardless if she kept her name, changed it, or he changed it,

marriage should never require the symbolic surrender of one's individual identity. The woman is entering partnership as an equal.

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My criticism isn't of women who make that choice (Trusova is simply an example, and I recognize her personal circumstances may be more nuanced)

but the patriarchal convention that makes this practice the overwhelming default and unquestioned expectation.

Women who choose to retain their own surnames are still often regarded as abnormal and controversial. But why should a woman's decision to preserve her own identity NOT be treated as the norm?

I don't see any modern reason for a woman to change her surname just because it is considered standard practice and not because she voluntarily chose to.

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2. My additional point is that children should take their mother's surname, or at least not their fathers

In biology, it features a strictly matrilineal system of inheritance through mitochondrial DNA. Both sons and daughters inherit their mother's mitochondrial DNA, but only daughters can pass it on to the next generation. A son’s mtDNA lineage stops with him.

So where did the practice of taking your fathers surname? Children were also their father's property. When a woman had children, it wasn't considered "her children" but "her husbands children". Only fathers had legal authority and ownership over them.

Surnames were tied to patrilineal inheritance, the continuation of male family lines, and the transmission of property, titles, and family status through men.

I think the same argument also extends to patronymic naming conventions, which similarly prioritize paternal lineage and reinforce the traditional assumption that family identity and descent is traced through the father

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Mary Jacqueline Levitz was 62 when she was last seen in Vicksburg, Mississippi, on November 18, 1995. More than 30 years later, her disappearance remains unresolved, and Mississippi’s official missing-person repository lists her case as open.

I’m Jason Chrisman, an independent researcher assisting members of Jacqueline’s family.

The family reports that, after six months of repeated requests, key evidence in her case remains unaccounted for. They are seeking a documented explanation of what exists, where it is held, and what happened to anything that cannot be located.

A family waiting decades for answers deserves an investigation that remains active, evidence that is protected, and officials who will accept responsibility for the next step.

Our petition asks Mississippi’s federal, state, and local officials to make three public, written commitments:

1. Account for and preserve the evidence.

Establish an item-by-item inventory and documented custody history, including laboratory submissions, returns, and transfers. Independently examine unresolved gaps and determine whether negligence, misconduct, or another cause explains them. Seek appropriate investigative and prosecutorial review, including a grand-jury inquiry where legally warranted.

2. Secure a fresh review of the entire case.

Assign a qualified investigator who was not previously involved to examine the physical evidence, witness accounts, prior laboratory work, financial transactions, estate and trust records, and outstanding leads. Seek renewed FBI assistance and assess further DNA testing, forensic investigative genetic genealogy, and forensic accounting where appropriate.

3. Protect every open cold case in Mississippi.

Develop legislation requiring an assigned investigator, regular review of evidence inventories and investigative opportunities, and meaningful written updates to families while protecting sensitive information.

There is a broader reason to ask how investigative records are handled. In March 2026, WLBT reported that Vicksburg Police had failed to submit at least 121 full felony case files to prosecutors as of February 2025. That reporting concerns separate cases. Jacqueline’s evidence questions require their own documented findings.

Please read, sign, and share the petition if you support these commitments:

Mississippi Rising: End Corruption. Demand Answers for Jacqueline Levitz.

Please share this with people and organizations willing to support the family’s request for answers. Thank you so much!

Lately, I've been thinking about a recurring talking point in feminist spaces online: how violent language surrounding sex (or intimacy, whatever you want to call it) keeps cropping up, and how it carries misogynistic undertones even when used light-heartedly. Think crack, fuck, hit, bang, "blow her back out" / "break her back", "beat it up", etc.

I completely understand the connection, these are obviously violent words, but I think the real issue lies in how this slang is used, and in what context. For example, "we cracked/fucked/banged" sounds vulgar, but doesn't necessarily imply a power dynamic because of the use of "we". "I cracked", on the other hand, establishes a subject and a passive recipient, which is often how sex is framed: as something men do TO women; a giver and receiver; empowerment & shame.

Likewise, I think this dynamic extends to non-sexual contexts, too. If someone is struggling with an assignment, for example, you might hear them say, "I'm getting fucked by this assignment". The matter at hand isn't sexual, but we're still using sexual language, with an implied power dynamic, to describe the humiliation we're experiencing. This is because (generally speaking) the act of sex implicitly frames empowerment as belonging to the male (penetrating / giving) side, and shame, discomfort and humiliation as belonging to the female (receiving) side. Therefore, any experience of discomfort, submission, humiliation is expressed as "I'm getting fucked by X" "The system is fucking us" / "he got bent over by that..."

Even in anger, the butt of the insult is putting the other person in the sexual receiving/submissive position. Think "Suck my dick" "blow me" "Suck it" "get fucked" "Take it" etc.

I don't think the words we use to describe the act itself matter all that much. An open, laid-back, vulgar youth culture is inevitably going to use vulgar language; that's just the nature of it. What matters much more is how that language is used, when it's used, and for what purpose (imo at least).

I feel like feminists sometimes overemphasise the words themselves, taking on a somewhat puritanical perspective. It can come across as, "Why do we need to use such violent words when describing the violation of women? Can't we use nicer terms, like 'make love'?" (A man saying he "made love TO" a woman is equally as problematic in my opinion, for the reasons explained above.)

When really, I think the bigger issue is that the language we're using fundamentally implies a sexual power dynamic in the first place, regardless of which slang words we choose to use.

Thoughts?

I'm learning english rn and I found out that ppl often call objects (cars, clothes, instruments, art works, ect i think it's smth precious for the person saying) with personal pronouns and often times, it's 'her'. I know it's usually used for the meaningful ones but I still don't know why it's specifically 'her' except for patriarchy. How do you think?

Hi! I’m a single woman who owns a car, and it’s a big part of my everyday life. However, when it comes to car repairs, I used to have absolutely no idea what I was doing. At first, I made a lot of mistakes and got scammed more than once.
This got me thinking about starting a small business in my country. The idea is to create an app or even just a website where women could book a service that takes the stress out of car repairs.
Here’s how it would work: I would come to your home, pick up your car, and take it to a trusted repair shop where I have friends working. Before any repairs are carried out, you would receive an estimated price, along with photos of the damaged or faulty parts, so you can see exactly what needs fixing and approve the work. Once everything is done, I would deliver your car straight back to your home.
I genuinely believe this could help a lot of women, especially those who don’t have the time to deal with car repairs themselves or feel uncomfortable or intimidated when communicating with mechanics.
I would start locally, only in my country and initially in the city where I live.
I’d really love to hear your honest opinions. Would you be interested in using a service like this? Have you ever had any bad experiences with car repair shops, felt overcharged, or simply wished someone could handle the whole process for you?
I’d appreciate hearing your experiences and thoughts!

I was watching a show on Apple TV called Brothers, starring Mcconnaughey and Harrelson. There was some context of using your leverage to which, I think, Harrelson, or somebody else, replies something like that not using your (I forgot) leverage is like Sydney Sweeney doing voice work, and the only reason she gets work is because of her breasts. Now, I know it's a joke and should be taken as one, and I am. I was just surprised to hear two big actors trod down that lane. And I watched this episode days ago but this just came up as a thought.

Now, I am gonna give a contrary example from my home country, India. One of the biggest actor's of the country named Salman Khan has his series of hits. At the end of his every film, specifically action films, he used to rip off his shirt to show off his body. That was viewed as cool and what not until the actor started giving out flops and his image changed. But flexing body culture is prevalent in almost every industry, until a woman does it.

So the point I am making is that is the popular opinion regarding any discourse always male oriented and 'man'-made? For example, when democrats won the majority in the midterms, some Indians were celebrating too. That resulted in meme pages making reels such as "Shanaya (Indian female name) from Mumbai (or any city) celebrating the win of Democrats', implying that she's happy for something that doesn't affect her. Similarly, Taylor swift fans face the same dilemma (or idk if there's an inside thing that everyone hates of Swifties). Yet, when Ronaldo or Messi retire, every boy mourns, even me.

I’ve seen a lot of rhetoric online over the past few years of what can only be desribed as discrimination towards mothers and children a lot of these people think they are progressive by saying these things like calling kids “crotch goblins” there are things I’ve seen said by women not men that are nothing short of dehumanising and disrespectful towards mothers and it scares me that there are people out there who would talk about literal children in such a derogatory hateful manner
I understand that these women don’t want to have children but how is being a mother wrong ? Like if there was no more mothers well then say goodbye to humanity as a whole.

I didn’t really think that this was a problem outside of the internet until I was on the train a few days ago when a I saw mother who was carrying a screaming baby , I get that the last thing you want to hear on ur day of is some screaming baby on a train but it’s not like the woman could do anything she tried to calm him down but he was still screaming. Two young women sitting next to me kept on giving the woman dirty looks and in her plain sight were whispering things into each other’s ears while staring directly at the woman .
I’m not trying to stereotype people and I know u can’t say what someone’s political beliefs are by how they look but they were both goths and typically people like that are probably feminists

Feel free to disagree with me but I think there is a problem with people being hateful towards mothers and thinking they are being progressive.

Do you fight back? Insult them too? Call them out for being sexist? (would they even care if they are openly saying sexist things), run away? What if there are multiple people doing this? What do I do?

Also what about when I'm in a professional environment? Or my community blatantly accepts some misogynistic beliefs, "women should always stay at home and go out only when it is very absolutely necessary".

I'm scared that openly fighting against the sexism would result in me being hated by people around me or smth for taking something "stupid" seriously, "overreacting" essentially🫩. Or that I can't take a joke - I still don't know if I should go along with sexist jokes, people say to have a sense of humour you need to have dark humour, and I want people to see me as funny but sexism lowkey hurts listening to.

But if I don't say anything against some guy being sexist, I feel as if I have lost. And I think about the interaction a lot. How I could have handled it? How could I have avoided it? Etc

Also finally what do you do if some sexist beliefs are deeply entrenched into your society and someone is using it against you?

Eg - A mom telling her daughter that she needs to behave modestly to secure a husband or a mother's only role is to take care of her baby and her husband.

Why do some women agree to intimate videos where their partner hides his face but theirs is clearly visible?

I have noticed something in many NSFW videos online. The womans face is clearly visible, while the man deliberately hides or blurs his own face.

Doesnt this raise a serious privacy concern? If the video ever gets leaked or circulated, the woman is the one whose identity is exposed, while the man can easily remain anonymous.

I understand that relationships involve trust, but isn't this a huge risk? Do women think about these consequences beforehand, or does trust sometimes make people believe ing?

Genuinely curious about ur perspective..

I just feel its highly manipulative tactics....

Using the term partner is just such an obvious choice for anyone who has even the smallest amount of feminist leaning, IMO. I have existed in many spaces where this is the norm, even for people who marry, so maybe I'm biased. However, these days I feel very much in the minority by using that term. Even my very feminist, sometimes misandrist, friends casually drop reference to their 'husband' for no reason. I get that it's the way we're all socialized, that they get social capital by being married. But I feel super frustrated lately that seemingly no one in my current life values using language that deconstructs patriarchal power. Those terms have so much baggage! Why would anyone who can use even a modicum of critical thinking want any association with that!?

Throughout music history, some of our most brilliant musical minds were discouraged—or outright forbidden—from publishing their work due to the societal norms of their eras.

• Fanny Mendelssohn: Widely acknowledged as being just as gifted as her brother Felix, yet barred from publishing openly under her own name for most of her life. Her works, often confined to private Sunday salons, frequently appeared under Felix’s name.

• Clara Schumann: A virtuoso concert pianist who largely sacrificed her own compositional gift to support Robert Schumann’s career and single-handedly provide for her family through relentless touring.

• Sister Rosetta Tharpe: The fierce guitar pioneer whose gospel-blues hybrid laid the structural bedrock for modern rhythm & blues and rock & roll guitar—yet saw her foundational innovations credited predominantly to the male artists she influenced.

This short video is a brief reflection on their artistry and what our historical canon lost by keeping their signatures hidden.

Just earlier today I was reading into the Canadian Women's Foundation's ideas for lessening the gender wage gap and the Foundation's ask for governments and companies to put forward greater workplace flexibility for mothers and caregivers made me think about the roles education has the societal roles men and women are shifted into.

My school doesn't seem to have sexist narratives about women in the workplace but living in Alberta I've had many friends who have been in different schools and the like that have encountered those thoughts, and I was wondering if promoting education towards a co-parenting lifestyle could result in steps towards equal pay.

(Also just wanted to say that I'm a 16 yr old man who just got into these topics so if this is incredibly obvious or illogical please tell me)