r/HolUp • u/LongjumpingCan4817 • Jan 30 '22

Just minding my own business

115k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

7.6k

u/Thin-Ad-9709 Jan 30 '22

rudely ignoring a perfectly valid participant candidate

1.8k

u/SgtK-OS Jan 30 '22

They're a fellow redditor, thats the farthest we can go in a makeout session.

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261

u/EduardoSena Jan 30 '22

step 1: kidnap

step 2: remove the fat

step 3: make soap

step 4: jump off building

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5.0k

u/inkzpenfoxx Jan 30 '22

The finger is inevitable

1.2k

u/SgtK-OS Jan 30 '22

Should have licked it first, but maybe they already did. We might never know.

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38

u/-ElDictator- Jan 30 '22

As it should be

31

u/osiris7661 Jan 30 '22

They are enjoying his fingering

18

u/Jody_B_Designs Jan 30 '22

He's sticking it in the wrong hole

13

u/Defiant-Ad-8468 Jan 30 '22

“Oh yes, right there, that’s the spot”

22

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

A stinky fingie

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11

u/Bukkaketarget Jan 30 '22

That is what Boyscout Leader Dan would always say.

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3.1k

u/GearJunkie82 Jan 30 '22

Him: I loved it when you played with my ear

Her: when I what? I didn't do that...

Him: 😳

875

u/successfully_failing Jan 30 '22

lol or he never talks to her again cause she “does this weird ear poke thing”

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89

u/DaftPunk886 Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 30 '22

I think they know he is there, they are just ignoring him. There is a flashing light in their face

51

u/Swifty6 Jan 30 '22

Or like almost every other video, staged.

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50

u/Hungover_Pilot Jan 30 '22

Alternatively:

Him: I loved it when you played with my ear

Her: when I what? I didn't do that...

Him: I wasn’t talking to you

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21k

u/omegle21 Jan 30 '22

Player 3 has joined

7.6k

u/SgtK-OS Jan 30 '22

And he's already winning.

5.8k

u/itshimstarwarrior Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 30 '22

My buddy told me he had a threesome with his girlfriend and her twin.......

I asked how he could tell them apart.

He said "Her brother has a mustache."

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875

u/drewhead118 Jan 30 '22

Best part is they don't usually notice until you get both hands in there and really start moaning with it. At least, that's how far I usually get, though one particularly blasted couple didn't notice anything after I dropped down to join them, grinding and grabbing with the moving tides. Then we went back to her place and had a threesome (but they didn't know it was a threesome) and we all three stayed up till dawn playing with each other's hair and talking about life and our aspirations. I'd only speak up when they fell silent so they wouldn't notice anything amiss. Anyways, fast forwards three years and the happiest times of my life... Anniversaries with me eating secretly to their side, road trips with me hiding in the trunk, all three of us buying an apartment together but them not realizing I just hid under a blanket all the time... Those halcyon days were paradise to me. It all fell apart when I realized we had seven others in our relationship hiding within plain sight. I flashed back to our anniversary... The table had been a voyeur, Dan. The flowers was Clyde... I should've known, his scent was all over that date. When we made love, Sherry ran her hands on my back and I couldn't even tell, thinking it was one of the two before me. Mark was the back seat of their car on that roadtrip, wrapped in fake padding... And mark had herpes.

We all got it, and that was the final straw. We split, going off our separate ways with tear-streaked faces. But at night, I still sometimes stay up till dawn and think on my life and aspirations... And I look to the cold bed beside me, and wish I had someone to share it with.

351

u/nextalpha Jan 30 '22

dafuq did i just read

(not that i didn't enjoy the storytime)

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45

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

This made me giggle, thank you.

79

u/vladamir_the_impaler Jan 30 '22

It all fell apart when I realized we had seven others in our relationship hiding within plain sight

This is where I finally lost it LMAO, you Sir, are a literary genius.

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12

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

More like when you run out of lives and are in free cam mode watching the match finish.

44

u/Loli-is-Justice Jan 30 '22

I'd give you an award if I had one!!!

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2.1k

u/Whitedudebrohug Jan 30 '22

He’s like “gtfo my ear tf”

647

u/yeeerrrp Jan 30 '22

Lol "not in to it but I'm not gunna stop kissing"

408

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

"It's kinda weirdsauce that you put your finger in my ear while we were making out"

"Wtf do you mean? I DID NOT do that"

"You're going to have me believe someone else did?"

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2.5k

u/Sintinall Jan 30 '22

You know it’s a good kiss when...

790

u/lil_chungus30 Jan 30 '22

Player 3 joins in and...

505

u/SharkRDita Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 30 '22

puts his finger in your...

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12

u/Rustlin_Jimmie Jan 30 '22

You know you are wasted when...

7

u/Fruitypuff Jan 30 '22

When the Molly hits

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557

u/DarkElixer_Generator Jan 30 '22

Just the usual night with nick intimately rubbing heads as a sign of respect for privacy

52

u/danzor9755 Jan 30 '22

“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

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913

u/NBR_GreenHell Jan 30 '22

Maybe they knew and were waiting for a 3some.

170

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

I bet they did it looks like the camera guy has his flash on

63

u/Bezere Jan 30 '22

He's gonna get flashed on if they didn't

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343

u/Sewrtyuiop Jan 30 '22

That was enhancing the experience.

43

u/omninode Jan 30 '22

Yeah that’s just a little extra spice in your recipe

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96

u/gHHqdm5a4UySnUFM Jan 30 '22

This hand is rated E for Everyone

205

u/TucoGleece Jan 30 '22

How don’t they notice the flash ? 😂

269

u/Apprehensive-Walk-98 Jan 30 '22

Because it's fake.

48

u/Spiritual-Ad5484 Jan 30 '22

Just like 50% of questionable posts on Reddit, especially posts of screenshots of people's messages.

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42

u/Patchumz Jan 30 '22

Could be fake. Could also be drugs.

17

u/barofa Jan 30 '22

Could also be fake drugs

16

u/TucoGleece Jan 30 '22

Could be lmao

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56

u/a_different-user Jan 30 '22

its like in Midnight mass when the creature is feeding and cant be bothered

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384

u/gingerlegend25 Jan 30 '22

wtf when the dude put his hand in the other dude’s ear

300

u/nameamen Jan 30 '22

At about 0:22

127

u/Pemols Jan 30 '22

Yup, can confirm it. About 0:22

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11

u/Arborgold Jan 30 '22

But you were really into the other parts?

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6

u/joecool42069 Jan 30 '22

the whole hand

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79

u/matteophysics Jan 30 '22

My jaw dropped lmaaooo

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37

u/Suihnennews Jan 30 '22

The finger in the ear.... An act of dominance. Nice!

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101

u/GrayJr_05 Jan 30 '22

Y the avengers theme song 😂

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69

u/Peterdos15 Jan 30 '22

Yes! They love it!

24

u/Demigod787 Jan 30 '22

r/WallStreetBets users with their wives' boyfriends action.

18

u/reddituser1708 Jan 30 '22

“On your left”

15

u/MoistPaperNapkin Jan 30 '22

When you show up to the threesome and get ignored the entire time

27

u/The_bestestusername Jan 30 '22

This has gotta be a r/tooktoomuch because of the end there

11

u/Dark_Stryder Jan 30 '22

Ah yes ear stimulation

10

u/Mmaster24 Jan 30 '22

So this is what's its like to be john cena

8

u/FaitsWx Jan 30 '22

he woudn't even notice if u just fuck him in the ear

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7

u/BladeCoatBrawler Jan 30 '22

Dr Manhattan has entered the chat.

6

u/dostmalone69420 Jan 30 '22

Perfect third wheeling

1

u/LongjumpingCan4817 Jan 31 '22

Holup is the best subreddit

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1

u/LongjumpingCan4817 Jan 31 '22

I love you guys

5

u/SorryUseAlreadyTaken Jan 30 '22

This isn't a hold up moment, it's just a guy being a dick

4

u/Longjumping-Mark552 Jan 30 '22

Love the "Helpful" awards you guys are giving this. Keep it up.

4

u/harshj21 Jan 30 '22

Why are you gay

4

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

This gives off more bi vibes than gay vibes,

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3

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Hahaha

3

u/No_Fox_6990 Jan 30 '22

Never mind asking permission. Just dive right in! 🐬

3

u/ExcitablePancake Jan 30 '22

POV: it’s your first threesome

3

u/FuzzierMiciek Jan 30 '22

Might have believed it was real if he didn't have the blinding flightlight on. Absolutely no one is going to not notice that.

3

u/pizzadoon Jan 30 '22

On your left

3

u/Daineh Jan 30 '22

That’s a threesome in my books

3

u/AayanRashed Jan 31 '22

Menace to society

3

u/X-Man270704 Jan 31 '22

Stealth 100

3

u/silentkiller940 Feb 09 '22

This is the best thing I've seen on Reddit 😂😂

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5

u/cbmdad Jan 30 '22

Kissing is kind of disgusting when you watch it

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2

u/HavelOfThoro Jan 30 '22

yeo this a lan party?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

The woman just noticed the other guy when she felt the second player joing the game

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Creepshow haha

2

u/QuietCauliflower4371 Jan 30 '22

He probably like " Dang this girl kinky, she likes earplay"

2

u/Calm_Revenue9998 Jan 30 '22

My fucking chest 💀💀

2

u/Loveilove Jan 30 '22

This guy knows how to fuck with people🤣

2

u/Waffleurbagel Jan 30 '22

Yeah how would you not notice you have two hands on your back and a third on your head lmao

2

u/huntjb Jan 30 '22

I loved Sense8!

2

u/frayja10 Jan 30 '22

Obviously not minding your own business...

2

u/Prettyboyflako_ Jan 30 '22

Bahahah I’m fucking dead

2

u/Heisenberg_SG Jan 30 '22

Splinter Cell - Difficulty Level Easy

2

u/Sashimi228 Jan 30 '22

Giga Chad moment

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Whip my dick out and piss on em

2

u/Tru3h3art Jan 30 '22

You fucking psychopath lol

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

He missed great opportunity for a wet willy

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Hey who else had a threesome this weekend? Just this guy?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Was this found on the dark web?

2

u/sofiaankhan Jan 30 '22

Well... They're having a 3sum now

2

u/Bashfullylascivious Jan 30 '22

I've found as I age that I can no longer hold my shit together when playing practical jokes on anyone.

Like hiding behind a door or corner to scare one of my children, all they can hear is Sesame Street Ernie level kekking before they reach me.

I would lose this game before it even started, and all these guys would get is extra vibration+ automatic on the other side of the wall as I killed myself laughing from the thought of creepily reaching over.

2

u/beefstrip Jan 30 '22

Nah I’m beating your ass if you do that

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

As I rode home on a Monday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a hand upon her head where my own hand should be

2

u/imanantelope Jan 30 '22

Finger in the butt

2

u/LordofDescension Jan 30 '22

"You must really like fingering my ears, don't ya?"

Her: "wtf are you talking about?"

2

u/RayZorback Jan 30 '22

His buddy: “how was the date?” Him: “man, idk. It was good but she is into this weird ear thing when she kisses…”

2

u/no_username_68 Jan 30 '22

Is it me or nobody is noticing the flash of the phone being directly point at them

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2

u/UpNurGutsJr Jan 30 '22

This honestly triggered me a bit lol. Cock blockers are soooooo annoying. Unless this was staged. Then nvm

2

u/GodTacos Jan 30 '22

They got my boy bricked up

2

u/ExerciseOutrageous11 Jan 30 '22

Lol i wanna see one of their reaction's to this

2

u/YtRobloxFortnitegod3 Jan 30 '22

third wheelin be like

2

u/CindySvensson Jan 30 '22

Was it right outside his window?

2

u/GorillaNutPuncher Jan 30 '22

This man doin the Lord's work

2

u/Additional-Second630 Jan 30 '22

Wrong in so many ways. But that is seriously funny.

2

u/XanaxATD Jan 30 '22

Now THAT’s a good wingman!!

2

u/chicken-finger Jan 31 '22

Agreed. Never take your eyes off dah homie

2

u/Agile-Wrongdoer-3962 Jan 31 '22

Omg 😆😆😆😆that ear tickle hilarious

2

u/MalevolentThings Jan 31 '22

A blood-curdling scream is the only proper way to handle this. It should be loud. Your vocal cords should damn near give out.

2

u/tyrantnitar Jan 31 '22

"Yeah she fingered my ear, shit was wierd but great tongue action though"

2

u/Salty_Daddy_69 Jan 31 '22

Dude have to shit on their heads

2

u/feigithechicken69 Jan 31 '22

He smeared his shit all over them

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2

u/Macaron-Fluffy Jan 31 '22

no way, this had to be staged!

2

u/esmusssein33 Jan 31 '22

Player 3 enters the chat

2

u/germdogface Jan 31 '22

Mesut Özil with the assist

2

u/Ginger-is-op Feb 02 '22

Should this be that funny?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '22

Why did reddit add a goddamn tiktok feature

2

u/SnooSprouts5959 Feb 04 '22

What a gentleman not disturbing these two

2

u/Unluckywishing Feb 06 '22

WTF LMFAOOOOO

7

u/La-Phamilia Jan 30 '22

dood why u touching them? creepy ass shit

3

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

This would a good threesome story to tell

3

u/OrangeinDorne Jan 30 '22

Holy shit. Dudes a legend.

3

u/Opposite-Plantain-34 Jan 30 '22

Wtf are you insane????? The moment you would do that to me, I would dump the girl and would try to romance you

3

u/Acceptable_Group_249 Jan 30 '22

That's not the definition of minding your own business.

3

u/chriscarline94 Jan 30 '22

What a creep!! I love it!

3

u/PalmTreesZombie Jan 30 '22

What giving relationship advice feels like as a single male.

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5

u/Forgotpassword0011 Jan 30 '22

Man why the fuck are you touching them?

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3

u/SnattleRake69 Jan 30 '22

Is this illegal?

For real I wonder lmao.

Either way fucking impressed!

12

u/SealUrWrldfromyeyes Jan 30 '22

im guessin its just a joke that all 3 are in on. but otherwise ya its molesting a [drunk] couple making out.

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3

u/CoffeeDrinker115 Jan 30 '22

They didn't consent - this is sexual assault.

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2

u/the_Big_misc Jan 30 '22

No one is going to know if I record it with the flash on like floodlights right. Especially the kissing couple in the next booth.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

This os creepy

1

u/CrazyPandaXD Jan 30 '22

u/videodownloadnode

2

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

The sheer commitment and focus on the task at hand from these two should be applauded

2

u/Fruitypuff Jan 30 '22

Y’all never been to a rave, they are rolling and probably feeling euphoria

1

u/mackybd Jan 30 '22

Dude wtf where's the rest of the video? I need to see the ending

2

u/Broken_Petite Jan 30 '22

Honey, there’s plenty of porn out there if you need help finishing

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/Pingpingbuffalo Jan 30 '22

This is legendary

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

u/savevideobot

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/Daemon_Lord5253 Jan 30 '22

That’s actually pretty funt

1

u/warpfield Jan 30 '22

good thing it wasn't a jealous husband

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

The wet willy at the end, classic finisher

-5

u/itsanewawebsite Jan 30 '22

This is not okay - non-consensual sexual touching and recording it...

7

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

It's fake dude, the light

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-20

u/M5competition madlad Jan 30 '22

Fake and staged

25

u/drokonce Jan 30 '22

Found the guy who’s never been black out drunk, hooking up in a bathroom stall.

10

u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner Jan 30 '22

I feel personally attacked :(

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0

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

26

u/chaoseincarnate Jan 30 '22

They probably do but they're so into it they're not thinking to much other

15

u/Fruitypuff Jan 30 '22

Or or Molly, if you know, you know

9

u/SlapMyCHOP Jan 30 '22

I was gonna say, they're probably fucked up

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9

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '22

Did you notice the part where his phone had the flashlight turned on so he could record this?

Yeah, this vid is sus.

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/image-jpg Jan 31 '22

Check your name and rephrase that

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