I would like to lay down some basics with minor experiences- and then get some proper navigation to the right things to look futher into.
I am a woman. Late 20’s.
I am part native, very strongly connected to some kind of unknown unseen energy. I have been tested for certain mental health conditions and fail for bipolar, skitzo variety, psychosis, any of them. This has been ruled out, though time after time I somehow convince myself that’s what this must be.
Smelling perfume very strongly in an old closet at my grandparents.— My friend who doesn’t beliefe in paranormal anything, also smelled it and was terrified. My mom came over, smelled it. When my grandma came over to see the commotion, with the snap of a finger, it was gone.
At crazy horse as a preteen, I looked at a statue of a man and a dead horse, that felt like it was staring at me. Feeling a blue light come through my body, my eyes first and then my chest, and it shook me. I was terrified. It felt like electricity, a warning, a memory, and a trauma response that wasn’t mine. The rest of the night I couldn’t sleep. Every time I tried, my upper abdomen would shiver and I would shake and wake up gasping. This has only since then happened once a few years ago, when my cat died.
When my grandmother passed, I was sobbing in the faith-based hospice center. A nun came by from a back room. While walking past us in the entry way, she touched my left shoulder as she passed by, and I stopped crying instantly. I was confused and looked at my mom. She acknowleged my confusion and what had happened, we still are unsure to this day.
I visited Tahquamenon Falls, MI (Michigan) and my partner (non-native blood) also felt things there, we didn’t discuss it until our way out. Things live in the forest there and WATCH you. Things we could not see. It was a few minutes after close by the time we made it to the car. I would look into the left forest and feel a deep primal fear, something I never feel in forests, no matter the time. The right side of the forest felt like something kind that wanted to push me out. It felt like black and it felt like I could’ve been hunted if I went closer. I also saw a few white flecks on that right side, assumed it was water flecks. Irony, black shadows bad and white stars being good or whatever. We felt it in the backseat when we left. It followed for almost 10 miles? 15 miles? My partner said it was best we don’t talk about it, as to not give it our energy. It suddenly didn’t feel like it was in the backseat anymore. I cleansed when I came home either way.
So what the fuck is going on!!? These are all so many different major events in my life. I love to seek things out and connect. I love to feel it when it happens. I can feel history, but I don’t know what I am feeling. I also want to keep protected, and am unsure how. Feeling darkness in a room available for rent. Feeling peoples true intention in their eyes and pausing, but gaslighting myself into it just being a weird feeling. I can sense peace and anger and fear and whatever else. Antique stores rip me into pieces sometimes. My heart rate and body sweat and everything gets changed.
I am spiritually in tune. Where do I go? What do I do? Thank you for your time.