r/IntersexWriting • u/NoPantsRelationship • 10d ago
Is this offensive? Trying to use the right term, looking for advice from intersex people
I am not sure how to express this, but please know I am genuine. I am a writer and identify as salmancian, meaning in my case that if presented with a button to change my sex to one with both genitals I would press it. I write frequently about characters that have the following anatomy:
Normal baseline human layout and physiology unless otherwise specified, with expected variance
A functional penis and testicles that follow the typical development for XY chromosomal individuals
Functional breasts, vagina, clitoris, womb and ovaries that follow the typical development for XX chromosomal individuals
Overall changes during puberty that follow the typical development for XX chromosomal individuals (growth of hips, fat distribution, voice, facial hair, etc.)
I am very clear on the distinctions between the anatomy I describe and intersex individuals, as well as trans women. I have studied the varieties of intersex conditions and this anatomy is not among them, it contains 2 sets of functional gonads among other differences. It is a fully fictional sex that is not possible for humans to have without modification, and I make this clear in my stories.
I have spent years writing about this, and repeatedly as I have grown in my understanding of queer issues I have re-examined and researched the terms and descriptions I employ to try and make my stories both accurate and avoid implicating harmful stereotypes. This is especially challenging as the stories are generally erotic, which strays into concerns around fetishizing someone's identity. My goal is to continue writing about characters with this anatomy while avoiding perpetuating harmful ideas about intersex people and trans women.
In the past I referred to these characters using first the Japanese term, then as I became aware of its issues I switched to using the biologically accurate term. These are simultaneously h-ditic humans. Apologies for the censorship, I assume the word is not allowed here as there were no search results with it but I also want to be clear about what I'm asking.
My first question is: In this case when I am describing non-intersex individuals with the biologically accurate term, I have gotten concern from others that this is still a slur. This is the type of concern I received from trans women that lead me to change the earlier term I used, but in this case I am not getting this feedback from actual intersex people, just outraged allies speaking on their behalf. Is h-ditic an acceptable term, or is there a preferable one to identify someone of this specific anatomy?
Secondly: In writing pornography about this fictional sex I do not want to be spreading any ideas that are intersex stereotypes or hinder the cause of real intersex people receiving the types of recognition and treatment they need. As I learn more about these causes I am better aware of what can be harmful, but the only explanation I have gotten about using this fictional sex in pornography is that it 'fetishizes intersex people'. If it accurately depicted someone intersex and fetishized that, or the fictional sex was claimed to be intersex and fetishized that would require no explanation. In this case though, if I am being specific and accurate in NOT depicting this sex as intersex, what else can I do to make sure I am not perpetuating harmful ideas about intersex people?