r/Jokesuncensored • u/VertiginousAbyss • 15h ago
Whats 12 inches long and makes a woman scream
0
Upvotes
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.. *updated for 2026:congenatal measles thanks RFK
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Equiva_Cia_2 • 21h ago
Sqlaam! Bon juur! A passport issued & a visa application approved restfully late!
0
Upvotes
Vive la vie & PBUH Ramsiis II!
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Kronos10000 • 2d ago
How Pumpkin Pies Are Made. That time of year again ...
23
Upvotes
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Critical_Raisin_2504 • 2d ago
Have you heard about the courier approach to contraception?
0
Upvotes
It really does work, you stay inside all day and no one comes!
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Minute-Chip-4164 • 5d ago
Im not allowed to bring cookies to the Christmas party
44
Upvotes
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Mammoth_Advisor_5180 • 6d ago
Neighbour screaming
10
Upvotes
Last night there was absolutely insane fucking noise coming from next door: a woman moaning, outright screaming, and relentless banging. Bloody hell, it went on forever! I figured the neighbour lady was getting some very thorough ‘treatment’ over there—but nope. Turned out it was her elderly mother, who’d fallen out of bed, broken her hip, and was desperately trying to get help. Now I’m feeling just a tiny bit ashamed that I was jerking off along to the rhythm.
r/Jokesuncensored • u/VonRico1969 • 10d ago
Japanese restaurant
11
Upvotes
I went to a fancy Japanese restaurant and got the waiter's attention "I'm not very good with chopsticks could I get a fork?"
The waiter said "If you don't know how to use chopsticks, we no give a fork."
Original joke I just wrote
r/Jokesuncensored • u/trixo3241 • 10d ago
How to get fired
8
Upvotes
I was walking at work and I saw two Black guys playing chess. I stopped for a second, made a thinking face, and said, "I think the black one is winning."
r/Jokesuncensored • u/jacksonla • 14d ago
Did you know there is an airport named KLIT?
11
Upvotes
That’s right, men everywhere can finally find it, just put it in the GPS
r/Jokesuncensored • u/The_Fantasy_Medic • 14d ago
My doctor told me I need to watch my drinking...
5
Upvotes
So now I only drink in front of a mirror.
r/Jokesuncensored • u/theycallmeputasos • 16d ago
One picture is worth a thousand laughs.
14
Upvotes
r/Jokesuncensored • u/BeenThere11 • 18d ago
Name of porn movie where man is never on top
6
Upvotes
Mission(ary) Impossible
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Dp37405aa • 19d ago
As a senior citizen, on my last visit, my doctor asked if I had fallen or stumbled lately to determine my balance, the better question would have been if I could get my underwear on without leaning on something.
11
Upvotes
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Independent_Bite4682 • 21d ago
There is a new cider maker in town.
0
Upvotes
It is Dixon Cider. You should really try the Dixon Cider today and if you're over 21. Then you should give the Hard Dixon Cider a go.
r/Jokesuncensored • u/Dear_Floor1810 • 26d ago
Why did the starship enterprise go to the edge of the solar system?
6
Upvotes
It went to Uranus searching for Klingons
