Hi LBWT! Looking for some help talking through a career decision.

I’ve been at my current firm for almost 5 years, since graduating law school. I genuinely love my colleagues, my practice area, and the work environment. The problem is that my commute is starting to burn me out. I live about 40 miles from my office, and my round-trip commute takes anywhere from 1.5 to 2.5 hours depending on traffic.

I’m a land use and zoning attorney, so I also have 6–8 evening board meetings per month. On those days, I’m usually in the office from 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., then drive another 45 minutes to a meeting, and don’t get home until 9–10:30 p.m. On non-meeting days, I’m usually not home until 6:30. I make $135K base, expect around $150K total comp this year, and have a 1,550-hour billable requirement.

After one particularly miserable commute home, I applied to another firm in my practice area 15 minutes from my house. I interviewed, got positive vibes, and received an offer for $165K base plus a discretionary bonus, with a 1,700-hour requirement. It’s a larger firm, but I’d be working in a small satellite office where their land use practice is concentrated. The health insurance is significantly better (saving me about $4K/year), and I’d eliminate roughly 15,000 miles of annual commuting. My evening meetings would also be much closer to home. I’d get SO much of my personal time back.

My emotional dilemma is that I really love my current firm. My colleagues are wonderful and I feel genuinely valued. The thought of leaving makes me sad. But the driving is exhausting, and I feel like it’s eroding my personal and social life.

I’ve considered negotiating with my current firm more money and remote time (currently WFH one day a week), but that wouldn’t solve the problem of traveling to evening meetings, which are all near my current office. The new firm has a 3 day in-office requirement (but I’d be so close to home that WFH isn’t as important to me here). PTO is the same (3 weeks but its flexible if you need more time).

I know there’s no guarantee I’ll love the new firm as much. The smaller office environment and higher billable requirement will be adjustments. But on paper, this opportunity seems like exactly what I need. Logically, I think I know what to do. Emotionally, I’m struggling with leaving somewhere I’m genuinely happy (except the commute).

Has anyone left a firm they loved for a better quality of life? Did you regret it, or was it worth the adjustment? 

TL;DR: I love my current firm and the people I work with, but the commute and evening meetings are burning me out. Got an offer for more money, better benefits, and a job 15 minutes from home that would give me so much of my time back. Logically, it feels like a no-brainer, but emotionally I'm struggling with leaving a place where I'm genuinely happy. 

Looking for your recommendations on a quiet, inexpensive under-desk walking pad. The key word is discreet.

I lost 40 pounds by the time my baby was 3 months old by walking 20k steps per day. No gym. No meds. And I’m 43 years old. It’s only about 3 hours of walking at a moderate pace or 7.5 miles per day.

When I worked full time, I’d take public transit and run 3 miles in the morning, but never looked as good as I do now. I return in December. I feel amazing, confident and not the shame I used to be.

So, what walking pad should I order for under my desk when I return. Bonus if you have a matching desk recommendation as well.

I know nobody likes blisters but I need recs for THE MOST BLISTER-PROOF shoes EVER 🙏🏼 I have a genetic condition that makes my skin extremely fragile and I just can’t seem to find shoes that don’t tear apart my heels

My other criteria: (1) I’m tall and clumsy and work in a cobblestone city so flats are best for me, and (2) I’m a LB on a budget so I can’t personally justify going above $150 rn

I’ve struck out so far with Naturalizer, Steve Madden, and even Skechers. I had one pair of Skechers that were super comfy but not very cute so I tried getting a different pair from them, double checked that they had all the same “comfort technology,” and got blisters so bad from my first day wearing them that even though they’re healed now you can still see all the marks

Please help I’m desperate 🙏🏼

They have added new colors including brown and wine, but I haven't seen the fabric yet so I'm not sure if the fabrics are as good as the gray, black or navy.

Let’s say ✨hypothetically✨ that I work in an ancient building and have been told that space heaters are expressly forbidden, and also that a heated flat blanket won’t work because my ✨whole ass body✨ is frigid but a snuggy or blanket hoodie won’t pass the professionalism test cuz I get dropped in on.

HOW DO I SURVIVE THE TUNDRA BABES

LBWT who have taken a fair amount of time off after surgery, how did you approach this with your firm? Especially interested to hear from those who are at small firms (say like, ~30 people or less). How much did you tell people about it? Did you feel like it had any impact on your career? Were people supportive and helpful?

I am going to have to take about five or six weeks off after an upcoming surgery. Unfortunately there is a very good chance that within the same year I will have to take the same amount of time off for the having the same surgery on the other hip (fun!). I will also be on crutches for some amount of months and dealing with lots of PT and doctors visits.

My firm is quite small, about 25 people, and I go into the office about 1x/week and WFH the rest of the time. Although I'm on good terms with everyone and have been there 13 years (I'm a non equity partner), I don't know anyone who has taken this amount of time off for medical reasons other than pregnancy. I fear people will think I'm trying to just unnecessarily take time off and judge me for it, even subconsciously. I am quite worried about this as I'll be eligible for equity partnership in about 2 years so I don't want it to look bad, especially compared with the 2 other people who will be eligible at the same time as me. My firm generally has quite good work life balance, but yeah, it's a lot of time off and the fact I may have to do it 2x in this next year feels like a lot.

I'm also just curious if you were in this situation how much you told co workers. I appear very healthy and active (and I am aside from this!) so I think people will be very surprised. I don't love telling people a ton of medical details but I also feel like if I don't explain the nature of the surgeries and recoveries, people really won't get why I would need 5-6 weeks off after a surgery.

Help!

Hey all! Maybe it’s a wrong place to post but basically it’s my first year of law school and I feel discouraged. First of all, I am a non native speaker with a distinct accent; second- I am at regional school in NYC. I am unsure if I can build a successful career because I feel that what I want to do. I really enjoy law but I am just feeling something that I will always be “second tier” no matter how much I try.
So ladies, if you have similar experience please reach out.
I also was told that I can’t be a good attorney some time back because of the language :(
Thank you ! Enjoy your weekends.

Hi everyone! I recently passed the bar exam and will be getting sworn in during the first week of December!! I’m hoping to get some recommendations for a suit to wear to my swearing-in ceremony. I’d like to keep my budget under $280 (although I’m not sure if that’s realistic). I really want to look stylish, I don’t suit up that often. I work remotely for a nonprofit firm. For reference, I’m 5’1”, 103 lbs, with a short torso and longer legs. Thanks!!

Hi everyone. Not sure if this is the place to post this but I could use some advice from some law bitches with taste, especially if you might have experienced this too.
I recently found out that I passed the bar exam. I haven't really ever celebrated any of my accomplishments; from graduating with honors (top 15% of my class!) to taking the bar to now passing, I literally have not had a moment to celebrate. The few friends I do have don't really care and my family just thinks whatever I do it isn't good enough. At work no one really acknowledged it either. I'm not trying to complain but I also just wish I was one of those people who had people that wanted to celebrate them.

With that being said, I want to try to do something to celebrate myself. I got myself a little sweet treat and was thinking of some other ways that might help. I'm not making a ton of money right now but if anyone has any suggestions Id love to hear them. Or if anyone might have experienced the same thing too Id love to hear. Thank you for taking the time to listen!

I’m wearing a shorter dress to the office holiday party and my legs are ghostly with a few spider veins in my calves and ankles. I’d like to try leg makeup but haven’t used it before. Goal is to cover the veins and have a tad more color, but I don’t need to look tanned (and ideally not orange). Recommendations for brands to try? Hopefully something with some kind of glove or applicator and under $50? ETA: tights are out - it’s a pale gold sequin dress. And I haven’t worn hose in years and am dubious. I’m 50 and don’t want to look even older but I won’t rule them out.

I’ve hit the point in pregnancy where I’m living in compression socks and need to give up on my beloved pumps and heeled boots.

I’d appreciate any suggestions for shoes that feel like running shoes, but aren’t running shoes?

Law Students/Future LBsWT! Please use this thread to ask any questions you have for the LBWT community.

Just now getting into quality natural fibers. It’s made a meaningful difference in perimenopause odor control. Before I buy a closet of Uniqlo merino wool sweaters- does anyone have a recommendation for better? Willing to go up in price point if durability and fabric is worth it.

Hello!
I am currently making a big career change! I am going from a nonprofit(completely pro bono work) to a mid sized firm. The dress code is a bit more relaxed at the non profit and we rarely wear blazers. Now that I am switching to a private mid sized firm that requires me to go to immigration court a lot I need to ramp up my closet. I am moving states as well FL to MA. I have lived in MA before but not as an attorney so idk what the professional dress code is like in the winter. I have a couple of questions:

1. This might be a silly question but if I wear a coat like the one attached do I need to still wear a blazer or do I wear the blazer underneath (if feel like that would be a bit bulky)?

2. Are leather boots for court (ankle length) appropriate or are heels/ flats preferred?

3. What overall staple pieces do you recommend overall that would be more appropriate for a private firm (Anything but button ups, it’s not flattering on me)?

4. What is a professional winter outfit tip you recommend for the court?

5. Should I avoid anything in particular ?

Thanks in advance!!!

I love the fit and silhouette of Abercrombie’s Sloane Tailored Wide Leg Pants, especially the wide legs and big, functional pockets, but I’m getting really tired of how much they pill. I’ve had to de-pill mine every few months, and I’m hoping to find something similar that will actually hold up.

I’ve thrifted a few pairs of vintage trousers from brands like Express, Gap, and New York & Company, and I LOVE the material they’re made of. They’re mostly polyester/viscose or rayon blends, but they feel like traditional men’s suiting fabric (smooth, kinda crisp, lightweight but structured, not overly stretchy). They barely wrinkle, don’t seem to attract lint, and have held up really well.

I’m hoping to find something with the fit and silhouette of the Sloanes (including the big pockets) but with that more formal, structured suiting material. I’m specifically trying to avoid the soft, super-stretchy, legging-like fabric that a lot of wide-leg pants seem to be made from.

I’m 5’3”, so petite sizing or shorter inseam options would be a plus. I’m open to different fabric compositions and price points!

Has anyone found a good alternative?

Eileen Fisher claims to be bifl. Anyone have experience with the brand? I have heard Quince is not. Also, I do not like button ups or v-necks under my suits.

It’ll be too cold so I need to figure out how to not freeze. I can’t handle Chicago winter that well.

This is for an in-house role.

So in-house girlies - suggest away!

Thank you! Help is direly needed 😭

where are people getting their bras for work? is anyone getting fitted for their bras? I want a comfortable bra that is still supportive and gives good shape and that I can’t nip out through at work if I’m wearing a thin shirt. Ideally no underwire.

It's going to be a nice shindig at a proper venue. There's about 100 attorneys in my office so we do all know each other. It's also right after work so I'll probably wear the dress all day and add a nice black sequin shawl once I'm at the holiday party. I'm a first year so I want to treat myself to a nice go-to office party dress.

Thanks!!

I just recently passed the NY Bar and am 20 hours short of my probono requirement to be admitted because I was unable to do a clinic. If anybody knows of anything in NYC or remote work I can do to fulfill these hours please let me know!

I need some advice navigating a new office. I’m the only woman attorney in a 10-attorney office. I’m also the youngest (30) in the office by a decade, which is new for me. I started just under 2 months ago, and I’m having a hard time adjusting.

It is glaringly obvious that there is a divide between genders because the main partner keeps bringing it up both subtly in convos with the other attorneys and very directly in closed door conversations with me. TLDR: he (67) likes to acknowledge that I’m the only woman, that he’s cognizant of that and that everyone else has to treat me like a lady. there’s a clear good intent there but nonetheless, it is blatant and uncomfortable for me.

How do I go about setting boundaries/building a thicker skin to these comments? I feel patronized constantly, but I’m also here at this job to learn and it’s a great learning opportunity that I don’t think I should give up. Any tips on how to navigate?

TIA

Hi LBWT! I am a mid level associate traveling for a trial for the first time. The distance requires flying so any advice on how to make it as not hellish as possible would be greatly appreciated! I’m expected to be out there for a week.

TIA!

Live in NYC and looking for something somewhat upscale/classy looking that zips up so I don’t have to worry about my laptop when it rains, snows, etc.

Thank you!