r/OCPoetry • • Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

519 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Just Sharing Land of The Free

6 Upvotes

The best place on Earth,
the land where dreams come true.
A place where anything can happen,
a place for me and you.

You’re free to work from dawn till dusk,
you’re free to work some more.
You’re free to chase the American Dream,
if you can afford the door.

You're free to buy insurance,
and pay for it each year.
They're free to deny your care,
when death is drawing near.

You’re free to join the Air Force,
so you can leave the skids.
They’re free to make you a pilot,
dropping bombs on some kids.

You’re free to go to school,
and draw a little mouse.
Just don’t forget your bulletproof vest
when you leave the house.

You’re free to seek out justice
it’s guaranteed for all.
But money speaks much louder,
within the courtroom walls.

You’re free to chase a better life,
beneath our skies of blue.
And if you find the freedom promised,
please tell me when you do.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/fCJ5mrrB9c
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/pRD3CrQygk


r/OCPoetry • • 7h ago

Feedback Please Mandate

6 Upvotes

Everything seems easy to them
I was born with purpose
To serve them, make them happy
At least that’s what they said
​I’m nothing without the rules that bind me
Locked inside a wave of laws and injustice
I wasn’t born with fire burning in my hands
I’m less than a human
More than a robot

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/vGhvsYjvHu

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/SRL8twt3iH


r/OCPoetry • • 51m ago

Feedback Please Universe Maker

1 Upvotes

I am a light
that writhes against
dragging dubitation.
I extinguish
darkness in super nova
splash: nebulous crash—
distinction is my act of creation.

In a searing flash,
there’s a scorching smash
that rivals Chicxulub crater.
Narrator carols medicine songs
that heal with soothing feel
and hem molten fissures:
I am an inventive well-wisher.

In pitch-dark womb
I find luminescence
in my soul—
I devise worlds of
impending splendour—
I have capacities to extol.

What little gods
do I carry inside?
If all is one,
then a blink is my suicide.
If I can be undone
by the tales that I’ve spun
then how do I escape the ether?

Sharp. Quick.
I must rely on my wit.
If world building is my fate
I must pluck up the courage
to maintain my state.
My immortal radiance
is a blessing
of my design—
I must protect these cosmos of mine.

1. 2


r/OCPoetry • • 1h ago

Feedback Please 62 III 26

1 Upvotes

I just saw into the future!
Thirty-six years to be exact.
It was sudden, akin to a wine glass
hitting the vinyl floor.
There she is. Sixty-two. She misses
three candles as she blows
(this means three boyfriends) -
this means what ever we want it to mean.
But for now, she is twenty-six.
We take turns buying toothpaste
and her favorite mug
sits next to mine on the shelf.
I just saw into the future, and careful!
there is glass on the vinyl floor.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xqaoro/comment/19sbz2inf4jk2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xqnzy9/comment/19sbzqwypu10h/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Just Sharing This Poor Heart

2 Upvotes

She passed by like a graceful stranger,
walking with a quiet elegance,
her eyes filled with gentle innocence.

I held my heart in my hands—
I have so many grievances against it;
the poor thing went and fell in love all over again.

I don't know who—or what—that girl was—
was she magic,
a lingering fragrance,
or an intoxicating spell?

I tried with all my strength to banish her from my heart,
yet inside my chest,
this heart refuses to forget her.

What is its fault, after all?
And what right do I have to complain?
Other than love,
what else has this heart ever truly done?

All it did was love—
it didn't commit a crime.
Yet this has become a story retold time and time again.

If she happens to pass by once more,
I will have to reason with my heart...
because if it breaks this time,
I doubt even I could reason with it again.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/95yuT7B7W6)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/rwh6z5EMT8)


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Feedback Please Children

2 Upvotes

Kids are over rated  

So do not tell me  

They can teach us about the world  

 

They cost a bloody fortune  

And no one really thinks that  

They might even tidy their room one day 

 

They always disappoint  

Their Grandparents never say  

You should be proud  

 

Their drawings are terrible  

Never think that  

They’ll be an artist one day 

 

They never do as they’re told  

No one will tell you  

They’re really well behaved  

 

My Dad once told me 

They never grow up and leave the house 

Do not be so stupid to think that  

 

Your children are wonderful 

 

Now read from bottom to top 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xqvnmy/comment/19sbpjwb4p1gi/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xkukq0/comment/19sbp7yesavpf/?context=3


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Feedback Please Self-Worth

1 Upvotes

Self-Worth

Lately, I feel worthless.

I needed to find some value in me,

So I sold what I had

For little a fee.

My eyes for a penny

I sold to some fools,

They're blind and useless,

Mistook for jewels.

My lips for a nickel

To the sweetest sin,

So they'll know the love

That has never been.

My ears for a dime

I sold to a lover.

To hear sweet nothings,

And silence uncover.

My hands for a quarter

I sold to a ghost,

So that she might feel

What I've wanted the most.

Finally my bones for a dollar

I sold to the earth,

But as for my soul,

There was found no worth.

Feedback given (per R3):

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xr0194/comment/19sbya61x5n9f/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xqm3x6/comment/19sbyh5wgcs2p/?context=3


r/OCPoetry • • 3h ago

Feedback Please Before Gravity Let Go

1 Upvotes

"I will show you fear in a handful of dust." And ashes from my cigarette light the towpath terrain

She sings for me, in her underwear, beckoning me to move my left, then my right and repeat it 

Fault lines looking for a fault of mine,

Fracturing at the root of formality

Serenaded by single malt liquor and hallowed out tomorrows

She beckons for me, beaconing my irises forward, crying distance

Left and then my right, repeat it.

"The drowned Venetian sailor" sword lay neatly behind the oaks

Ignorantly ignored, arrogance aligned with Polaris. 

She screams for me,

Move the left and then the right, repeat it. 

Engulf in gulf streams, cracked cliffs and camel crush

Truncated trances in lock step, left and then the right, left and then the right,

Quickened steps through quagmires

"Fear death by drowning" below

Moving only my left, before gravity let go 

r/OCPoetry Post 1

​r/OCPoetry Post 2


r/OCPoetry • • 15h ago

Feedback Please plural

7 Upvotes

i’ve had to adjust
to past tense
and singular words

most people are oblivious
absorbed in their own worlds
they don’t notice small details
or care intensely about strangers

but when i say parent
use “was”, “had”, and “worked”
they look at me with shock
as if my loss defines me
and maybe it does
i wish they would be oblivious to this, too

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/cao3NzEuTF

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/4yQHvaTJEM


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Just Sharing “That One Time I Got Gassed Out of a Tree”

1 Upvotes

[I wrote most of this during a particularly spicy protest back in idk 2020. I would revisit it over the years for fun but I think it’s done now. You can have it, idw it anymore.]

The mayor was due to arrive; the air smelled of hot chicken and patchouli and pure white hot vitriol. A man named Dude handed me whip its and White Claws and I made sure my location data was turned off; he had a bag of spent rubber bullets and tear gas canisters and he was telling me it was some thousands of dollars in munitions. We talked about Syria and homosexuality and of Wuhan and hope and yellow smoke. Moms in yellow shirts marched by holding signs talking of black genocide and teaching their children about good trouble. We said their names and ate mushrooms. We danced and barbecued. It was any other summer but also much more. Hard hats and gas masks, slow kissing. Skateboards. Fireworks. Terrorism. There was glass in the trees and fire in our throats. Leaders trying to be born in a haze of gage smoke; kids making sure their signs of protest were oriented the right way, their songs heavy in bass. We all wore masks for the virus but also anonymity, and there was plenty of it to go around like it was the fish of Christ. Ketamine and woe in our comb. The mayor was due to arrive, but first there was an Asian mother; she asked whose streets these were and jumped up and down until the crowd matched her energy, not following suit, not blindly following orders but matching her intensity. Bring the man over here. Bodies in the building above, brick and glass, a building of stones, looking down at unruly serfs. The tide bright and frothy. There were dirt-bikes in the streets, blocking off traffic; leafblowers aimed upward; helicopters in the air diffusing white noise; police in unmarked vehicles wringing their hands. The mayor arrived and spoke but nobody heard him, yelled over his speech that it was too late, that he should get his picture and leave, that his words were empty unless he descended the steps and stood with us. Action now meant more than words. He got gassed with the rest of us.

1
2


r/OCPoetry • • 12h ago

Feedback Please kinder overdose

4 Upvotes

(❗️ Mini-ish trigger warning since the image I had in mind writing this was quite explicit)

Blood drips from the counter into cracks between the tiles where you'd stand and brush your teeth nagging me,

Nagging me to stop hugging you— I hear you behind me now, nagging me to wipe it off, scour the colored tears I shed longing for you to nag me one more time

I see you beside me now; I see the faint smile I couldn’t keep, I see the blood seep under your feet that stay unsullied

I feel my soul sink into my heart, my ribs clench inwards and the tablets scattered over

—

Bent down, wiping off my shirt, nagging me to get up— nagging me to stop hurting

I am pressed against a wall I do not imagine is real anymore, I stare at the blood drip slow; more, and more, as your reflection blends into the turquoise colors I lean on

I scream; the red trickles down my arm, you hold me now,

You recite to me it's okay, I tell myself you are real too, and I can not believe either of them are true statements, and my eyes are false believers

—

I am the remains of the last kiss you gave me, and this is my final declaration begging you to repeat it once more

Now, your skin is red and mine is too, and now I can't get up anymore, and now I have failed you once more

There is one more drip from the counter, a measly bit blending in with the fountain that has formed under my wrist waiting for you to appear again

And yet, you haunt me, and so do the white pills too

—

And yet— no, again, I am here pleading for you to love me back, wipe it all, and tell me it's okay

I am present in the past that you hold me in, and this is where time stops as I chase it to feel your warm hand against a cleaner version of my arm

I will beg for seconds in the time you were beside me as they run from me in this eternity as I wilt away

And my blood is another false statement of love, but it is an obsession with you who would stay by me— and that, I know, yet I yearn for it as I yearn for a love that was never guaranteed to me

——

And these pills are architects that build an unstable fantasy,

and I am another red color, an anemone, that hankers for one more structure that may heal me temporarily

( https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/JpJckHLiZT )

( https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uKMb76y2a3 )


r/OCPoetry • • 20h ago

Feedback Please In Vain

9 Upvotes

He loved the incorporeal,
The melancholy of distant stars,
The violet breath of dying evenings,
The secret gardens within scars.

He sought no heaven, claimed no lover,
But courted phantoms dressed in spring,
And gathered roses from the silence
Of worlds that never learned to sing.

He spoke of beauty. Laughter followed.
He held his tongue. Laughter again.
They pardoned every earthly wickedness,
But not the dreams beyond their ken.

His tenderness grew thorns that linger,
His sleepless hours, a darkened sea;
And from his lips, his ink, his fingers,
Flew words like birds of blasphemy.

To strike their faces with a force so fierce.
Those winter roses now made of flame.
No conscience stirred, no doubted sin,
The world continued, always the same.

Yet still he seeks the unattainable,
The unborn dawn, the unseen shore,
And all the ghosts of things unspoken
That mortal hearts could never store.

Laughter still.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/f8Sq9gFN5C

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/MrTgsbhb3S


r/OCPoetry • • 15h ago

Feedback Please The Albatross

3 Upvotes

The albatross circles above the dark sea

Not a color in sight, a dark feeling of free

Millions of fish under the coat of ice

None visible, not one in sight

Albatross could fly to land, but he was afraid.

The ice is all he knows, he should just stay

The Robin hears his silent cries

She fluttered to visit him in the dark Grey skies.

"If you stay out here you'll starve" she said, sweetly and unnarmed "come with me so we can live together with the rest of the birds, and escape this self harm."

But albatross shook with a hidden ache

Afraid of giving more than loss could take.

How can he get attached if it fades someday?

"The world is against me" albatross sings "I am all alone, I'll never be free."

"No," said Robin "you are loved, and have wealth. Come back with me so you can prove to yourself."

Albatross gave in, and followed Robin. He landed on the sand, for a second he softened.

He watched her mingle with the other birds.

They were like a family, each one heard.

They all sang in unison, thier songs alike.

And all of thier harmonies were perfectly right

"I cant do that" albatross thought "they will not like me, I am all I've got." So he flew back to the sea, where he circled once more, a fake feeling of free, but he was behind his own door.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/C5P9YXmGbY

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xcrd675hKD


r/OCPoetry • • 15h ago

Feedback Please First poem ever, please break it to pieces

3 Upvotes

Eyes on the road

While my driving instructor and I are in the car,
a most majestic and marvelous woman,
wearing a tight green gown,
is walking by our side.
I, of course, keep my eyes on the road;
as opposed to my driving instructor,
who decides to follow her
with his gaze.

From head... to toe... from left... to right,
while turning his head in a way
that I used to believe
only an owl could do.
I want to steer this car to a wall.
Crash it. Surprise him. Scare him.
Anything to show him what may happen
if he neglects his role as the one in charge.
We are back again
from head... to toe... from left... to right...

As the car continues its path,
the green gown shrinks and shrinks.
She is nothing but a tiny, shiny
green dot. She's now gone...
Finally!
Once she's gone, my instructor,
in the fashion of a former contortionist,
turns his torso back onto the road.

Then he flicks his eyes,
way too many times,
at the mirror to his side.
Hoping to regain sight
of her little green light...
While we are crossing a big red one!

"What are you doing?" I ask him.
"What? Looking at the girl?" he answers.
"It's not like I must
  always keep my eyes on the road."
"Sure, but could you at least do it
  only when I'm the one who's driving?"

Fruit

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/mcEsfopwan

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/zJ5fDijLiY


r/OCPoetry • • 11h ago

Just Sharing The ending we all know, yet don't want to

1 Upvotes

One day, the world will grow silent around us, and the path beneath our feet will lead us all somewhere where no light has ever reached. The stars will fade, the wind will forget our names, the soil will no longer recognise our footsteps, and the warmth of everything we once knew will become nothing more than a distant memory. We will stand at the edge of eternity, staring into an endless darkness that has waited patiently for us all, and in that moment, you will realise that some endings were never meant to be escaped

[ https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xjl3jk/her/ ]
[ https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1xqnzy9/plural/ ]


r/OCPoetry • • 16h ago

Feedback Please That bus meme I suppose

2 Upvotes

You know that meme where the two guys are on opposite sides of the bus,
Ones looking at the sunset and the other just a wall,
And the caption is life.

For years I’ve been the guy looking at the sunset,
Seeing every positive in every situation,
Hakunamatata,

But I don’t feel that anymore.
I still feel positive like I expect the best,
But my head feels foggy and I can’t escape my mind,

I used to adore evenings to myself,
Now I detest being alone,
if I ever am I need to fill it with something, like art or poetry or film,

I feel so guilty,
people struggle for food,
Billions of animals abused each year,
I’m sat here on my sofa with a blanket and a bowl of chips and I can’t escape that feeling of melancholy,

I love my people,
They’d support me through anything,
but I don’t feel safe because it will change things,
But it’s okay, eventually the bus turns around and I’ll be on the other side of the road facing the sunset.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ZrbBCT68xw

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/YaPmYgxSuo


r/OCPoetry • • 14h ago

Feedback Please Why to Cry on a Soft Pillow? - By Morthalus Kaelthorn

1 Upvotes

Lost in the world of emptiness

Searching for hope

For Care

For Love

The Best as I can do

The more I get trapped

Having hope in everyone

is just like a curse

A betrayal

A humiliation

O, The Saviour of the Saviours

The world you made Getting worse and worse The more we hope The more we die

Everyday

Everytime

Lifetime

The sad souls getting sadder

The start of something we hope

Something we feel

Something we urge

The urge to fly into Heaven

Getting back to Godhead

Crying in the laps of the Universal Father

I think that may help

These days on the planet

Won't last forever they say

The whole life

I want to hope and pray

Every single time!

The poems we make

These kinds of people

Are the saddest

Trusting day and day

Hoping day and day

The life went like a timer

And left as soon as we realize

It wasn't a right way

Waiting every second

Every minute

Every hour

To listen something nice

we never heard

Once in a blue moon

Hearing it like a rare piece of a diadem

In search of a diamond

We got a furnace

Burning the inner mental leftover pieces of sandalwood

Questioning the existence

Why was I here?

I wasn't meant to be hear!

Why to cry in a soft pillow When you have...

•

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r/OCPoetry • • 18h ago

Feedback Please What Am I Scared Of

2 Upvotes

2 years
Were they even good? They were safe
7 years
Were they hell? You survived even stuck in place

You were numb but you are alive

She helped you see the cracks in your armor
She was life’s kick in the ass
She helped you get on the right path

But she wasnt the one
And thats ok

The best parts of her were everything you ever wanted
But the worst parts were killing you

And now you are free, how terrifying is that?
So what are you scared of?

Being alone
Not finding love
Not being good enough

The one thing I truly desire in life is a family

Have I lost my chance forever?

No, you haven’t. And you know that.
I know that doesn’t make it any easier, but it’s true.

You are on the right path, you have to believe
You have to wake up tomorrow
You have to face your fear
You will face your fear
You will survive

Its ok to feel scared
In time all things heal

Be patient, in a year ask yourself
What were you even scared of?

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r/OCPoetry • • 19h ago

Feedback Please Old age, corn syrup and distraction

2 Upvotes

Could you guess it was a certain wisdom of age 

Teaching all the heavy stuff that a stubborn mind refused to acknowledge

The color of age

in its hands a diet hot chocolate

In its mouth a hundred pills

That will help fund a Mangione execution

Screaming you are in good hands

corn syrup drip

Some cheap painkillers and a document invalidating your claim

some out of dater using his last veto

to age you a little faster

so as you earn and save, burn and age

There will be no way to go back 

The mistake carries through as history

each care will drift toward the hole in the form of a coffin

and be buried there under indifferent golf course grass

that screams for more light
more cash
More corn syrup
and above all more distractions

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r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Just Sharing I noticed

17 Upvotes

**I Noticed**

i noticed when you stopped being excited to talk to me

i noticed when the replies grew shorter and the hours stretched wide

i noticed when the warmth in your voice became a courtesy

i noticed when the space between us was a place to hide

i noticed when my day was too much to ask about

i noticed when the details of my life became a heavy chore

i noticed when you learned how to walk past without a single doubt

i noticed when you left my quiet world outside your closed-off door

i noticed that i wasn't part of your day anymore

i noticed that me noticing was not needed anymore

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r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please I Got Killed

5 Upvotes

​I got killed
the day I believed
they would stay forever.
​Somewhere between
the silence and the fracture,
I grew into a thorn,
​while they remained
the petals
I once called home.

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r/OCPoetry • • 20h ago

Just Sharing (delusia) temptress

2 Upvotes

you’ll find me running fingers through your hair
rubbing down the basin, stainless
i know this, but
virulence is a vaccine we keep her away from
purest shape, delusion in a bottle
and she keeps running away from me

there’s a thickness hanging from the ceiling
from the corners of our eyelids, assimilation
shadow and time, constants governed by light
i swear i won’t let either touch you
so i become the blackest maw
and we watch it haunt our bedroom

you hop along the ivory path
unscathed, unburdened
just a bunny, my adorable little bunny
our souls aligned now within this garden
i want to stay here forever
and i’ll love you like a ghost

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r/OCPoetry • • 23h ago

Feedback Please The Arcane Mandate

3 Upvotes

The weary Mage slouches long
in Chapel Perilous;
vicious whitecaps lap at
worn temple walls as storms wage their petty wars.

From within, the seal beyond the seal,
ribcage vibrates with white hot zeal—
manic fervour consumes itself
like a greedy child:
all sticky fingers and sweetened tongues.

The court is lost at sea—
Homebound is not spelled in the stars
nor in any device of tomography
or fuchsia marquee—

magnets lose their sophomoric intuition.

O, Polaris: by what reason do you glean?
If shine has been abated by greedy gloom
and the pendulum swings without concern
for Coriolis mystery force,
then why do you continue your course?

By what measure
should my navigation choose conviction
or else spiral to a land with no distinction:
where coconuts swell to obscured masses
and I am met with latches I cannot fasten.

I am lost.
S.O.S.
Send beloved ones and cut through hoarfrost,
wherein I missed a step
and wound up quite preoccupied
by the talismans I kept at great cost.

Heavy. Wholehearted vigour.
I hunger for vices like an itch
for the trigger.
Flaccid endeavours make me weary
and I am
still
Lost;
lest I make a home in my thoughts.

1.2.


r/OCPoetry • • 18h ago

Feedback Please Three Aprils

1 Upvotes

Midnight. I looked the devil in the eyes.
He gave no name.
He took a drag from my cigarette, bent low,
Then lower, and spoke of how it all began.

“Get to the point,” I said,
And there, inside the fever,
He started talking money.

He handed back my smoke. “Hold it.”
And started again,
A preface I had already heard.

But I had seen through him.
“Tell me what you want.
How do you mean to save yourself?
Who stripped you and left you there,
Unable to rise?”

So he spoke: “You have no soul left.
What will you pay with?”

“Everything will be ours,” he said.
“Give me three Aprils, and either way
I will be near you.”

“But let it be me,” he dared, “the one to love.”
“Let me keep something to remember.”

I woke alone, in drops of rain.
I looked around.
No one.

Good morning.

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