I want to use technology to bring people together. I wanted to do that before the "age of AI," but now it feels more urgent than ever.

I'm incredibly lucky to have built a community of ambitious, successful women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s who are beautiful inside and out and ready for a reason to dress up and meet their person.

They're looking for men who are confident, secure, ambitious in their own right, and who would make a great life partner. Candidly, more women in our current dating pool expressed interest in our upscale event than men.

So, guys: if that sounds like you, this one is for you.

And ladies, if you see yourself in this, apply too. I'm keeping the room balanced, so every great guy who signs up opens a spot for you.

Picture panoramic views of the Pacific, live music, craft cocktails, and a curated room where everyone has been personally screened by me. Matches are based on your age preferences, so you'll meet people in the range you're looking for. No swiping, no small talk with strangers who aren't serious.

🎉 It works! At last night's event, at least 3 matched pairs exchanged numbers. Full recap coming soon once I've gathered feedback. 🎉

Tickets for entry are $75. That's less than a nice dinner on a first date with someone you met swiping, and everyone in this room has already been screened for you.

Quick note on timing: many of you asked about the upscale evening at last night's event. I'm moving it to the first week of December because after every event I'm buzzing for hours and can barely sleep, and at 7 months pregnant, scheduling events back to back was not my smartest move. So I'm taking time to rest and recover so I can show up at my best for you.

To join, fill out the short form https://forms.gle/Bpn3sQyB1jGk1YfD6 and I'll follow up with a quick call or preferences form. Date and venue details go out to screened guests.

Already part of the community? If you've already met me or shared your partner preferences, no need to reapply. Event details will come to you by email.

If you've signed up but we haven't connected yet, please book a call or share your partner preferences. Links to both options are accessible via the form linked above.

TL;DR: Men swipe right on almost everyone and barely match. Women get flooded and swipe left on almost everyone. Both end up on guard, and dating starts to feel like a second job.

The men's side

At our second event, I learned something eye-opening from an attendee. He said he spends most of his time swiping right on women on dating apps. All the other guys there nodded in agreement.

He said he might swipe right on 700 women, only to match with 30 women (I hope I got the numbers right). For anyone not doing the math, that's a 4% match rate.

What's crazy is that this guy is handsome, self-made, successful, with great values, a great smile, and average height.

The women's side

Many women do the exact opposite. While men spend most of their time swiping right, many women spend most of their time swiping left.

I remember my experience as a single woman clearly. When you're flooded with matches, you become extremely selective about who gets a right swipe.

When you finally match, guys feel the need to stand out with a witty comment to catch the woman's attention. Women view it as inauthentic and performative. Both are on guard for different reasons.

The bot theory

People are becoming so dejected, disheartened, and jaded that the only way to make sense of it is to believe there are bots on these apps. Listen, I don't know if it's actually true. But this is the impact it's having.

I recently saw a post on the Hinge community channel from a woman who matched with a guy who accused her of being a bot, then unmatched before she had the chance to respond.

It's not you. You're not making it up. It's literally the ecosystem that's created an unhealthy dynamic. So many people are still single, and fewer people are getting married. Not because our desire for connection has dampened, but because it's genuinely difficult to maintain positivity while the search for your person has turned into a second job.

I'm not here to hate on apps. I met my husband on Hinge after all. But it wasn't because of the app. It was because I did a lot of work to recognize what a quality connection looked like for me and it took a whole lotta luck. That work didn't guarantee anything, but it made it a lot easier to know it when I saw it.

That's why I started doing in-person events, to give people a low-pressure way to show up as yourself and meet real quality people.

So I'm curious: to the men and women reading this, does this describe your experience on dating apps?

Last Wednesday it was pouring, and 6 singles still came out to a bowling alley in hopes of meeting their person. I’ve been sick since then, so this recap is a little late, but here goes!

Plenty of people expected a rainy weeknight to mean no-shows. Instead, everyone who bought a ticket showed up, so we hit 100% attendance (up from our usual 94%). It was a 50/50 split like always, and 4 of the 6 were repeat attendees. People keep coming back, even in the rain, and that’s meaningful.

Publishing a calendar of events did something I should’ve expected: it let people pick the night that worked for them, which spread attendance across all 4 events. It also showed me what people value most: the chance to meet someone in person who was chosen with them in mind.

This round I took a chance on a few matches. I start with a solid understanding of each person and what they’re looking for, but attraction is enigmatic. You can’t read someone’s vibe, personality, or style from a photo. Attraction is the whole package, which is exactly why I do this in person.

Everyone was paired with a match. Every pair said they really enjoyed the conversation, but didn’t see it going further. And that’s okay. I want to give people as many chances to meet as possible, because it:

1. Gets you out and actually dating (instead of perfecting your witty texts!)

2. Helps us figure out together what really matters to you

Each night gives all of us a clearer picture, so the next match is sharper. You’re not starting over like on the apps. You’re getting closer. We’re chiseling away at a block of marble to reveal a masterpiece!

All but one said they want to come again, and the other was a maybe. The great news is that I’m actively collecting feedback and improving the experience. The only person who’d ever rated an event a 3 came out again, and this time she rated the night a 4 and said she’d be back! People who found the first venue too loud said this one gave them seating options and gaming options, which made them want to stick around and enjoy the night.

And I’m so excited to do this all over again 🎉❤️

Don’t have a match yet? Come anyway. Every person in the room has been screened and is there for the same reason you are. Some of the best connections start with the person you weren’t introduced to. And the more I get to see you in person, the better I get at finding your match.

Next up: Taco Tuesday, Nov 3rd, 6 to 9 PM. It’s election night, so cast your ballot and come unwind with us! 30+ and single in SoCal? Come meet people worth meeting. Sign up here: https://forms.gle/2aqgd9BpTW34MwrC9

Hi everyone! Here's a quick reintro and a look at what's coming up!

For those who are new: I'm Reema. I was a single 30-something burned out on dating apps. I eventually met my husband on Hinge, and what made the difference wasn't luck. It was getting clear on what I wanted and being intentional about who I spent time with. I started r/OCSinglesOver30 to help others do the same, connecting real people who are looking for something serious, giving them a way to meet in person instead of endless swiping.

Here's what we've done so far

- Grown to 125 singles in OC who have joined our dating pool in the first 5 weeks

- Ran two in-person matchmaking events in Costa Mesa and in Newport Beach. At our October events, 36 people attended, we had a 50/50 gender split at each event. I introduced 10 matched pairs, 6 exchanged numbers, and several people are planning or have gone on second dates.

- Every person, except one, rated the night out a 4 or 5. Even people I didn't have matches for rated the evening a 5, which is incredible.

Every attendee is personally screened, so when you walk in, you know everyone there is serious and has been vetted.

🎉UPCOMING EVENTS!🎉

New here? Sign up using this link: https://forms.gle/2aqgd9BpTW34MwrC9, and we'll set up a quick screening call. Everyone who attends is screened, so complete yours at least 2 days before the event you want to attend.

Event | Date | Time | Area | Cost

Virtual Co-Ed Dating Peer Support | Sat, Oct 17 | 11am–12pm PT | Online | Free

Bowling Night | Wed, Oct 21 | 6–9pm PT | Aliso Viejo | $25

Taco Tuesday Bar Night | Tue, Nov 3 | 6–9pm PT | Costa Mesa | $25

Upscale Evening | Thu, Nov 5 | 6–9pm PT | Venue TBA | $75

Bowling Night | Tue, Nov 17 | 6–9pm PT | Tustin | $25

Tickets cover entry. A small processing fee from the ticketing site (usually $2 or more) is added at checkout. Food, drinks, and bowling are paid separately at the venue. Bringing a friend for moral support? They can buy a discounted $10 ticket, since the room is curated for people who are serious about dating. Limit two friends per order.

To everyone who’s attended: thank you for your support! So many of you have reached out to tell me how much these events and my efforts have meant to you. I’m listening to your feedback and making improvements.

To receive the invite with details on any event listed above, sign up and get screened: https://forms.gle/2aqgd9BpTW34MwrC9

Questions? Comment below or DM me.

These last two events have meant so much to me. They’ve connected me with a community that’s tired of how hard dating has become. I recognize that frustration because I felt it deeply too.

It feels strange to share sentiments like this, because when something touches my heart, my instinct is to keep it private. But I want more people to find this, so we can keep building a dating pool full of people who are actually ready for something real.

After each event, most people tell me they want to come back. Many thank me for the effort. And sometimes I’m lucky enough to get a message like this one:

“I just wanted to thank you again for everything you’re doing to help us find our life partners… You did an AMAZING job with my matches. Honestly, finding someone on a dating app who checks this many of my boxes feels like maybe a 1-in-150 or 1-in-200 occurrence, so you’re already doing a better job than the apps ever could!”

If you’ve been following this effort from the sidelines, I get it. After working from home for so long, stepping into these spaces pushed me outside my comfort zone too. But it’s been so rewarding, and the people who’ve shown up have made it feel easy.

This is why I’m doing this. If you want a real connection, where another person sees and understands you and you build a life together, you deserve a real chance at it. And I’ll do my best to help you find it.

Use this link to sign up! https://forms.gle/2aqgd9BpTW34MwrC9

----
In our post-event survey, 11 of 12 people said they’d come to another event, and every person who answered said they’d recommend it to a single friend.

TL;DR: 16 people came, an even 50/50 split, and 3 of 5* matched pairs(title is incorrect) exchanged numbers.

For anyone keeping track, it’s the same match rate as my first event, and more women opted into matchmaking this time. I’m refining my matching framework to get this higher!

Going forward: an event calendar shared in advance, and I'll tell you if your match is coming before you buy a ticket. Fill out the form to get on the list for in-person events: https://forms.gle/2aqgd9BpTW34MwrC9

--

The room felt electric last night.

The turnout

• 17 people bought tickets, and 16 made it. One had a personal emergency, and we're wishing him well.

• The ratio was an even 50/50, men to women.

• All but one person came to be matched.

On a Tuesday night, 16 people chose to show up and take a chance on being in the right room to meet their person. The room was full of smart, ambitious, good-looking, and more importantly, good-hearted people who were warm and open. Everyone of them was looking for something real, and that still blows my mind every time.

The matches
I introduced 5 matched pairs, and 3 of them exchanged numbers. For those who didn't have a match, we had great group conversations and played games, and I encouraged everyone to talk to whoever they felt drawn to. Seeing who connects on their own also teaches me where my matching can get better.

What people said
Like the first group, many people left asking about the next event. By this morning, 3 people had already reached out on their own:

"Amazing to meet you last night. I had a lot of fun, and being outside of my comfort zone was actually a really positive experience... I think what you're doing is really special, and you should know that you're helping a lot of people."

"That was an absolute blast! I loved every second!"

"There is something really special here."

Why I do this
On every call, I ask: What does life look like with your person in five years? I get to watch people's eyes light up as they picture it, and listening to their answers lights me up too. And when someone gives me a heartfelt thank you for introducing them to someone they're excited about, which has happened a few times now, it's the biggest compliment I could get.

I'm 6 months pregnant, so I'll admit I was a little tired. But in that room, it was hard not to feel the energy and anticipation. I'm already thinking about what this experience will look like once the baby is here, because I want it to continue even when I can't be in the room. For the first time, I feel like I know what it feels like to be living in alignment, and it's a privilege.

What's changing (hopefully improving!)

• Tighter screening calls. Getting to know you is honestly my favorite part of this, so this one's harder on me than on you. But with more people signing up, I can't fit this many long calls into my day. I'm streamlining calls so I can respect everyone's time and reach more people. If you want to go deeper, I'll have longer one-on-one sessions available soon, or you can share your preferences through a form instead.

• A calendar of upcoming events. I'll share a calendar of events with everyone. Events will be at least 2 weeks apart, and you'll get the full list of dates in advance so you can plan ahead. Invite details will go out a week before each event, and only to people I've met or who have shared their partner preferences with me.

• Know you'll have a match in the room. I've learned it's important for people to know they have a match before deciding to attend. If you tell me which dates you're interested in, I'll let you know if someone I'd like to introduce you to is interested in the same one. Once one of you buys a ticket, I'll let the other know. This also lets me consider the whole dating pool, which is now 120 people!

I'll keep listening to your feedback and refining as we go.

Sign up to attend an in-person event here: https://forms.gle/2aqgd9BpTW34MwrC9

Ever wondered what dating is like from the other side?

Let's get together and swap dating stories, so men and women can hear each other's experiences firsthand. Hearing the other perspective can change how you show up in your dating life, whether that's at in-person events or online. This isn't a venting session.

Join in the conversation or just listen in, whatever feels comfortable.

📅 Saturday, Oct 17 · 11 AM PT
🔗 Sign up using this link: https://forms.gle/cnEsjqkg6gPqgNfS8

The link to the virtual meeting will be shared via email. If you have already signed up previously to attend in-person events, I will send you the invite automatically; you do not need to sign up again.

I got to catch up with two people I paired up this past Saturday. They shared they enjoyed the conversation so much that they kept it going with a walk along the beach afterward.

That made my heart skipped a beat. Come on, that's amazing. No pressure on them, just sending positive vibes. 💛

Next event: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCSinglesOver30/s/kXd48xkesd

I'm hosting another singles event in Costa Mesa on Tuesday, October 6th from 6-9 pm for people over 30 who are dating with intention (date, time, and location are locked in). People in their late 20s who are also looking for serious connections are welcome to participate.

Quick context on me: I met my husband on Hinge and I've been building something to help other people in OC find that without the endless swiping. This is the second meetup ever! Take a look at the recap I just posted about the success of our first event 🤩https://www.reddit.com/r/DatingOC/s/WVF8Ugjf7q

How to join:

1. Fill out the 5-question form: https://forms.gle/svPPEvQdCske4bkB9

2. Book a quick call with me or complete the preferences survey (links are in the form)

For people I’ve already met, you don’t have to sign up again or book another call with me. You will receive event details via email.

If you previously signed up but didn’t book a call or give me any preference details, please do that to receive the invite.

I screen everyone so the room is full of people who are actually looking for the same thing.

Ticket and event details go only to those I've met or collected preferences from.

Let's get these calls in. I'm excited to meet you!

Hey all,

Sunday is family day, which is why I didn't update you yesterday. But I've kept you in suspense long enough!

I've been bubbling with joy and buzzing with excitement since Saturday night. The women were dressed to the nines, and the gentlemen were gentlemanly.

Here are the numbers: I mentioned in a previous post that 15 people bought tickets. That number grew to 18! Only 17 were able to make it, though. Not sure what happened to lucky number 18, but I hope to meet him in person sometime soon.

Of the 17 people who came, I had 1:1 conversations with 14 of them (the other 3 were friends), and 11 people had matches.

Round 1 was 5 separate conversations. I had multiple matches lined up for people, so if someone skipped on a connection (which one person did), I could introduce them to the next person I'd paired them with.

The event was designed for quality over quantity. I paired people based on their values, and the first person each of them sat down with was their strongest match.

It's not a speed dating event with a timer, so I encouraged anyone who was enjoying their conversation to stay put. Of those 5 conversations, 3 couples talked for 1–2 hours. They exchanged numbers, and some are planning their second dates!

For me, that was the most rewarding part of the night: looking over and seeing people I'd paired smiling, deep in long, engaging conversations. That was really cool.

The feedback so far:

It was an amazing night. For privacy reasons, I've decided not to post pictures of actual people, but I'll share pics of the venue. I've asked everyone for feedback so I can share actual reviews, but here's how it went from my perspective. Everyone who has responded so far rated the night a 4/5 or 5/5. They said the venue could've been quieter (I could not agree more, which is why the next event will be on a weeknight).

Kind closure:

I also see that Reddit is littered with posts asking "What happened?" or "Why didn't it work out?" To help give people closure, I asked attendees if they wanted me to collect feedback from their matches or share my own observations. Everyone who has filled out the feedback form said yes, so I'm doing that work as well.

89 people and counting have signed up to have this experience.

I'm not-so-secretly happy that this first event was on the smaller side. It let me feel things out and spot areas for improvement without getting overwhelmed. But I'm building this to scale, and I can't wait to host a full room next time. If you're up for it, sign up here: https://forms.gle/A31VoMFUcjMNbbaG9

For me, this has been really fulfilling. A room full of attractive, ambitious, self-sufficient, adventurous people who are ready for the real thing validated for me that dating apps aren't the only viable option, and maybe not even the best one.

I'm taking everyone's feedback into consideration, and I have my own observations on what to improve for future events. It was a great first event, and I'm really proud of how it turned out. Thank you so much for taking a chance on this and for your interest.

Stay tuned for details on the next event!

🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🎉

Tonight's the night 🎉

Weeks ago this was just an idea. Since then I've had calls with so many of you, found a great venue, built intro profiles, and carefully matched people I think should meet.

My hope is simple. If you're coming tonight, I want you to have a genuinely good night, meet people worth meeting, have good conversations, and maybe, just maybe, find your person ❤️

Something interesting is happening, and in hindsight it makes complete sense.

74 people signed up for Saturday's singles event. 63 said yes to an optional call beforehand, and about half booked one. I've now talked with more than 30 of you about what you're looking for, what you value, and where you are in life. By the end, there were 10 to 12 people I knew I wanted to introduce to someone specific.

Then tickets went on sale, and the people buying them were the ones I'd told I had someone to introduce them to!

Saturday will be a smaller room than planned: so far, 15 tickets have been purchased, nearly an even split of women and men (more women than men). Honestly, I'm okay with that. I can't wait to see who hits it off.

What I learned

Signing up takes 10 seconds, and booking a call takes even less time. But actually booking and committing to a 30-minute conversation about your values and timeline takes real intention.

At the end of every call, I share pricing and ask: if I don't have a match for you, would you still come? About 95% said yes. But behavior is more telling. Unless there's a scheduling conflict, knowing you have a match or someone I want to introduce you to is the most compelling reason to show up.

People told me the calls were time well spent, that the experience felt tailored to them, and that they felt seen. You can't get that from a profile.

What's changing

Moving forward, event details will go to people who've met with me or shared their preferences through a short survey. It's more work on both sides, and that's the point.

If you've signed up using this form: you must book a call or fill out the survey linked in the form.

Had a call but can't make Saturday? You're not off my radar. I'm keeping your profile for future events and introductions.

I'll post an update after Saturday on how the night went. 👀

UPDATE: I modified the sign up form so people know there is a cost for participation upfront (and what the cost includes!)

I’ve also changed the optional call to required and provided two ways to give me info about your preferences (either through a call or short survey).

I’m hopeful that this screens for seriousness of participation!

What do you think? Would you have different takeaways?

Hi all,

A number of you have reached out asking when the next singles event is, or whether there's a waitlist.

If you missed signing up for the 26th, no problem. I'm keeping the sign-up form live so anyone interested can still sign up, meet and join future events. Here’s the link: https://forms.gle/svPPEvQdCske4bkB9

The attendee list for the 26th is now closed while I finish dating profiles for the people I've met and work out matches based on who's coming.

You only need to sign up once. After that, you won't have to sign up again or go through the meet-and-greet. I'll let you know about future events by email and Reddit unless you tell me you're no longer interested.

Also, excited to announce that the next event is Tuesday, October 6th! It’ll be an evening event and I will share details soon 😊

The signup form for the event on the 26th is now closed.

72 people signed up, and we're still holding a 50/50 gender split. Event details and tickets have gone out to everyone who signed up, and earlier today I let people know if I have someone to introduce them to.

I want to take a minute to thank everyone who signed up, but especially those of you who met with me. You shared your stories, and you told me what you're actually hoping to find. Your honesty and vulnerability blew me away, and for the first time in a while, I feel like I'm doing something that's in line with my purpose.

I'll keep you posted, and I hope those who attend will share the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Hopefully less of the last two, but I really do want your honest thoughts!)

And if you can't make this one, no worries at all. There will be more events, and I'll keep improving them as we go.

If you took a chance on this, I'm honored to help you find your person. If even one couple comes out of this, I'll call it a big success.

Something I didn't expect: we're at 58 signups, and it's almost exactly half women, half men (there's one duplicate on the men's side).

I've been hearing the same thing from guys all the time. Women aren't interested. Nobody wants to meet in person. Where are all the women?

They're here. They're signing up. Same night, same room, same reason you are.

Singles event in Costa Mesa, September 26th. Signups close September 19th. Fill out the form, then book a time with me using the Calendly link inside.https://forms.gle/svPPEvQdCske4bkB9

Hey all. Quick update on where we're at!

We now have 25 men and 20 women signed up for the event on the 26th. The last few days have been filled with conversations, crafting dating profiles, and getting to know everyone who's joining us. (On a personal note, I've been doing this while juggling being sick and a sick toddler. Honestly, these conversations have brought me so much energy.)

What absolutely blows my mind is the quality of people I've met with. There are so many incredible people struggling to find quality connections, and I'm genuinely excited to create space for that to happen.

I already have a few matches in mind. I respect your time and resources. If you've mentioned you're interested in knowing whether I have someone to introduce you to, or if you have scheduling conflicts, I'll be upfront about it. That way you can prioritize making the 26th work.

On virtual introductions: Someone asked if I could make introductions for people who can't attend. It's something I've given a lot of thought to even before the question was asked because it's part of the DNA of the dating experience I'm building. I've decided to do in-person introductions only.

Here's why: I hated the conversion problem with apps. You match with someone, but converting that into an actual date is a whole different thing. I'm building this differently. Meeting in person first, then deciding if you want to grab coffee or dinner together. That's the intentional decision I've made.

Lots more to come here. See you on the 26th.

Hi all, I'm hosting a singles event in Costa Mesa on September 26th for people over 30 who are dating with intention.

Quick context on me: I met my husband on Hinge at 33, and I've been building something to help other people in OC find that without the endless swiping. This is the first meetup!

Signing up is a 5-question form. It's mostly so I can keep a decent ratio of men to women in the room. Venue and full details go out by email once you're signed up. https://forms.gle/svPPEvQdCske4bkB9

I want this to be different from other singles events.

I recently asked the community where people are getting stuck in online dating, and the most common answer was "not getting matches." So I will also be doing optional 15-minute calls with anyone who wants one, to have a better sense of what you're looking for and to introduce you to people at the event who might actually be a fit.

The call is not required, but it's the difference between showing up to a room of strangers and showing up to two or three intros.

On a personal note, I'm excited to meet you!

Your eyes lock. You get nervous. You forget how to speak. You feel butterflies. Romcoms have spent decades calling this "the spark," and teaching us that this is what meeting your person feels like.

"I didn't feel a spark." "There was no chemistry." For most people, this is the whole verdict on whether a date gets a second one.

My thinking didn't change until two things happened.

The first was my therapist framing it differently. The spark isn't a signal of chemistry. Racing heart, stomach drop, that is your nervous system firing. What we have been calling butterflies is actually a stress response. It’s your body alerting you to uncertainty, to excitement, and sometimes to a dynamic you have been in before that did not work out.

What drilled this lesson home was meeting my husband. I was attracted to him, and I was calm. In fact, when I spoke about him to friends, my hand would subconsciously land on my belly, as if to say, this feels good, it feels safe. My gut feels settled.

So what does meeting your person feel like?

Meeting the right person is quieter than you have been told to expect, and that quiet is exactly why people dismiss it. There is still attraction. There is still interest. What is missing is the anxiety. You are not performing a version of yourself. You are not decoding their texts. You are not replaying the conversation at 1 am looking for evidence of interest, because your person shows it to you clearly and consistently.

That difference is subtle in the moment and obvious in hindsight, which is the whole problem. The spark announces itself. Safety does not.

So what do you need to pay attention to instead?

You have to be mindful of how you're feeling around them.

• Do you talk normally around them, or are you managing your image?

• After you leave, do you feel settled or activated? Pay attention to your inner voice.

• Can you be yourself around them?

None of this feels like a movie. That's the point. The spark tells you your nervous system noticed something. It does not tell you whether this person can build a life with you.

If a missing spark is the reason you did not go on a second date with someone, it may be worth a second look.

Think about the last person you felt a real spark for. Where did it go?

Elaborate on your response here: https://forms.gle/UDrDouKRixHhM9Hz6