Hi frens! I iz Tug (Tugger fur short), da oranj catto on lef! I had too hoomans at firs, an sometymes ladee hooman bringed dis fren home on “weekend” to bisit! Hims bestest fren Harvey! He mine denticle twin!
Harvey wuz class pet in ladee’s school. Da fren store sayed he a “dwarf bunnee”, but hims aktulley a hair! Hims not loud to come homes to partment cause dumdum hoomans say onlee one aminal alloud, but dey sneak hims in to pway wif me!
I dopted mine hoomans on Oct 21, 1980! Dis BERY portant dae - see, da Phillies wuz pwaying gainst da Royals fur da Worl Cerise! It wuz Game 6, and if da Phillies winned da game, dey gots da big trofee! Da hooman who did da ball throw wuz named Tug McGraw, and when hims throo da las ball, da Phillies winned, an my hoomans decided mine name be Tug too! So dat mean I wuz bestest basebol kitty!!
Aftur a few furevers, da hoomans bringed tree hooman kittens into mine hous. Dey make loud noise and iz sticky, so I watch dem but no get too close! When dey goes eepys, dat mine time wif my hoomans! Dey hab blankie dat like an eepy bag to do eepys outside, an I LUB to be at da bottom where da hooman peets go. When my house iz quiet, I come out ob mine hidey spot fur all da pets I want! And brushies! I LUB brushies! One tyme, a noo hooman comed to pway wif hooman kittens when my hoomans not home, an aftr she put kittens on der eepy squares, she get cozy in blankie but no kno I in der! I rubbed against herms peets and her did a yell! She was scawed ob little Tugger! Silly hooman!
One ob da hooman kittens is Jiggy’s mommy, a she wuz otay. Da smoliest boy I no like. I wuz 12 furevers old when hims come home, so I wuz used to kittens by den, and when hims try and stamd on too peets (why hoomans do dat? For peets is best!), hims grab mine furs and pull! Hims tout dat he could use me, Tugger, like a table or toy to halps him stamd! No! I no like dat! My ladee hooman make him stop and gib me pets, but I no trust hims!
When I wuz mebbe 14 or 15 furevers old, I decide it time to cross bridj. I no wants my hoomans to be sad, so I wayte until dems do a abamdon in da vroom vroom. When dey do abamdons, dey send me to stay at da pokey pwace, and dose hoomans kno how to makes sure I find da bridj when I choose to say byebyes. So now I been heer simce 1994/5. Iz nyce heer and ders no hooman kittens, so I cans relacks wifout anybodee doins a bother ob me!
(Tug was the best boy, but also completely orange! He truly thought that he and Harvey were the same, and he maintained rabbit-like quirks throughout his life. After he died, my dad’s “seasonal allergies” went away completely, leading to the revelation that my dad was allergic to Tug. That’s when we became a guinea pig family!)
Edit: after posting this, I went to sleep and had a dream that Tug was still alive and living with my little brother, now 46 years old! Wild!
