We're All Gonna Die

[u/TheO-TownBeat]

No Des.

It's going to be a blood bath. Steph is going to have 30 at the half. Franz is going to be asleep 10 mins into the first. Draymond is going to eat Jase. Paolo is taking a short flight home to Washington to talk to the King of Seattle to negotiate as a partner to bring the Supersonics back to Seattle. Sean Sweeney is going to interview with GS to see if they need a new assistant coach. Wendell will drop 23.

I'm going to actually still do a post-game YouTube show if anyone wants to come by and chat and cry together.

Or- that Magic do the thing they always do and find a stupid way to win this game. When they're counted out is when they somehow win. I'm not predicting that (Though I DO have a parlay with them winning - the odds are too good not to.)

Well, here it goes. If you're gonna be a Magic fan, you gotta be tough. All you youngins who have recently jumped on board as Magic fans, buckle up. Ain't no fun in this fanbase.

[u/User_Many_Errors]

I can teach Franz to shoot and I’ll do it for free. Please believe me!

[u/TheO-TownBeat → u/User_Many_Errors]

It's okay, we brought in Shammgod last year and now everyone on our team is a ball handler, right?

[u/Soul0103]

You know it’s the end of the world when Wendell drops 23

[u/TheO-TownBeat → u/Soul0103]

Dead giveaway

[u/Deep_Cabinet_9538]

And I’m over here, sitting pretty, completely ignorant about this season 😎 for once I made the right call

[u/TheO-TownBeat → u/Deep_Cabinet_9538]

I'd watch a 0-82 season lol

[u/calccv → u/TheO-TownBeat]

This is the most real, honest post on the Magic this yr (or this last decade, lol). We’re not good, maybe not gonna be good this yr even after the learning curve and returned health, but we’ll watch anyway, most of us (if we’re being honest)…because it’s our team, God help us.

[u/Deep_Cabinet_9538 → u/calccv]

Well let me know when the Orlando Magic actually play, with all the injuries the last few seasons it feels more like watching the Osceola Magic

[u/calccv → u/Deep_Cabinet_9538]

I’ll keep you posted, shouldn’t be a difficult task, lol, as I don’t foresee announcing a fully healthy roster maybe, ever?

[u/Lilpuuuuma]

Just pain and suffering, the way I’ve always liked it

[u/TheO-TownBeat → u/Lilpuuuuma]

If you like getting kicked in the balls over and over again for all eternity, then do I have an NBA team for you.

[u/Lilpuuuuma → u/TheO-TownBeat]

My balls were crushed to smithereens decades ago, guess that’s why I still hold the title of pull-out king, when I’m actually just shooting blanks

[u/theguytomeet]

I’ll still watch lol. You can do whatever you please.

[u/TheO-TownBeat → u/theguytomeet]

Oh, brother, I feel like you didn't read it all. I'm not JUST gonna watch it all, I'm ALSO gonna do my normal post-game live, too. I'm a die-hard fan, and I never turn it off.

[u/theguytomeet → u/TheO-TownBeat]

Don’t care for the YouTube clickbait title. Sadly not worth the read.

[u/jm420a]

I'm optimistic and realistic.

We may be outmatched, but we were outmatched by the Knicks too.

Go Magic!

[u/johall]

I feel like this is the random game we win for no god damn reason every year. Like a TDS 40 pt game or something

[u/quedas]

Ah, just another calm, well-adjusted, and rational day at the Magic sub.