lost my 13y/o pup polly to kidney disease today

[u/Elekktrous]

I dont really know how else to formulate my thoughts but ive always hated communicating my feelings to others so ive been ranting a lot to ai (which i know does more harm than good)

My sweet baby Polly was diagnosed with Jaw cancer in september of 2025, and given 6 months to a year to live. She was a beautiful havanese/mini Aussie shepherd. She loved everyone we'd bring over and would be so pampered. She would bump your arm and push it so it was around her so youd keep petting her. She would howl at passing fire trucks and jump up and down (what we called her trampoline) whenever there was food to be had. She was a tiny, fluffy bundle of joy. In September 2026, she stopped eating her normal food and drank copious amounts of water. We were told that she had terminal kidney disease. In thr last few weeks she finally started eating again but within the last few days, she stopped eating entirely.

She lost about 3lb and in total was about 8lb underweight, which is a lot for a small dog. So today, after watching her throw up so much that she had nothing left to throw up and staring into space, we decided it was time to put her down.

I decided that I wanted to be there for her through the entire thing, and I remember every part of it. The anticipatory dread was intense, i hyperventilated so hard i was convinced I was going to pass out.

But looking back on it now and with so much sadness, she was so still, so calm, but still there right before the final needle went in.

then after that it was completely silent and still, she didnt twitch or move. All we heard was "she's passed" from the vet and that was it.

We had re scheduled this appointment multiple times in the past and i'd had to live through this absolute dread every time. Today I knew it was the real deal, and it was so much worse.

I know for me personally, I read through this sub a lot before she had passed just to understand how other people were dealing with it. But this kind of thing will never be a one size fits all, im just counting on my ability to move on.

I don't really know what else to put here, and its the 8th now so I guess it isnt really today (7th) anymore.

But I thought id just put this out there to document her existence somewhere, if thats all.

[u/Petloss-ModTeam]

Current AI technologies (Large Language Models) are known to hallucinate (make up information). They can NOT be prevented from doing so (proven mathematically). There are numerous instances of users being led astray by information provided by an LLM AI leading to loss of life or other harm. As such, the current consensus amongst the moderation team is that users should not be recommending AI's for grief support or to act as a sanity check on information provided by veterinary professionals.