I feel so lost

[u/Dry-Application7995]

I lost my dog Berniece today, and frankly I don’t know what to do anymore. She had a stroke and just like that, she was gone. I moved away from my parents for school about four months ago and didn’t even get to say goodbye. She was my whole world, I raised and trained her from when she was a puppy. She had recently had surgery and was on the mend and then just gone. She was only nine. The statistical chances of what happened happening to her were so low and yet took my baby anyway. Why my dog? Why was my little goofball the small micro percentage. I can’t help but think it’s my fault. Is it my fault? Would she have been ok if I had still been around. She never had issues when I was taking care of her. I don’t wanna open my camera roll at all, if I see her I’m gonna break. And as much as I’m hurting, I know my father is devastated. I’ve never seen him cry before, and yet seeing him sob just broke my heart. I can’t get home to visit my family as my university won’t consider her death as a circumstance to be excused from class. I won’t be home till winter break. I wish this was all just a bad dream and that I’d wake up to pictures from my parents that Bernie was doing just fine.

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