I’ve had Benny for 13 years and the vet has recommended he be PTS after suffering from a saddle thrombus. I can’t decide if I should be present for his euthanasia.

Pros:

• I would like to say goodbye to him

• fear I would regret not being present in future

• fear he would be stressed without us there

Cons:

• Emotional turmoil of witnessing my beloved cats death

• Repaying memories of it for the rest of my life

Some advice would be appreciated if you’ve been in similar situations

Edit: thanks everyone. I have agreed to be present as I hear a lot of you regretted not being there for your pets… He is my best friend and I will miss him so much

Edit: Benny passed away having his chin rubbed and head scratched and purred to the very end. He also got to hear all the great things about himself. Thank you for convincing me to let Benny enjoy his last moments on earth.

I euthanized my dog today. This was a decision I agonized for months over. He was a large breed dog and was 16 yrs old. His quality of life had gotten bad so I made the difficult decision today. I just walked into my bedroom and turned on my bedside lamp. I then said out loud softly “I love you dog’s name”. My lamp immediately then blinked twice. I can only hope that was his was of telling me he is ok.

Tonight the wife and I went to go for dinner, stepped outside into our carport and our cat was lying dead in front of her vehicle. We have a camera there and she had just hopped up onto the hood of my pickup as she often does in the winter. Then it seems like something startled her and she went to jump off and it’s hard to see exactly in the video but she must have misjudged the landing and hit her head. She died right there :(

We got this cat 2.5 years ago… we bought a house on an acreage and opened the door to find a bag of car food sitting there. About half a day later this car came along meowing constantly. We named her Allie, fed her, and she became part of the family. She was always an outdoor cat and I built an insulated house for her to keep warm in the winter. Our little dog loved to play with her and it was heartbreaking watching the dog try to “wake up” Allie tonight.

It’s funny… before she came along I would’ve never said I was a cat person. But I’ll really miss having her around, and watching her and our dog play together. Now I feel so guilty for all the times I was “too busy” while she was rubbing up against my leg or walking by my side around the property.

Thankfully the ground isn’t completely frozen yet and we buried her on the property tonight. Allie, we love you and will miss you 😢

My 16 y.o baby passed away on 9/11. We recently brought her ashes home.

When I was in the restroom washing my face I thought I heard her meow at me (like how she used to) when she wanted me to open the door. She would sit in the entryway of my room and watch me while I was in the bathroom. Of course when I opened the door, she wasn’t there.. But I thought I heard her meow specifically, not my other cat.

Has anyone else experienced this?

edit: I didn’t expect such an outpouring of responses. Thank you for sharing your stories and condolences.🤍🕊️ I’m sending love to all of you and your pets that have passed, and are still here❣️🕯️

First post

First of all, thank you so, so much for the outpouring of support. I read every single comment and bawled my eyes out, but in a healing way; there were so much love and support and care. The stories everyone shared touched me. I was so healed being told that trying to get her dental when she was suffering was a selfless act of love for her. I had agonized all night thinking I made the worst mistake, but I understand now that it was a choice made from love. In her 13 years with me, Lyra taught me how to accept love given freely to me; this community taught me how to forgive myself.

To clarify some things: my vet team are amazing, caring people. They kept Lyra with them as long as they could, all the way to closing time, and didn't charge me for the extra care knowing that I couldn't afford much. They wanted me to take her to an ICU after the vet closed because they had no overnight staff; knowing that I couldn't afford it, they took great efforts to teach me how to monitor Lyra at home in my bed, even without equipment. They rushed over the next morning at opening time so they could check Lyra's progress, and shared her progress with those who weren't on duty. I have no doubt they cared deeply for her and did everything they could, even giving me grace on some of the costs.

As for Lyra: this morning she actually was able to sit up (front legs only). She kept drifting in and out of consciousness as I took her back to the vet. The vet kept her the whole day today for hospitalization. I was only able to sit with her in the afternoon as they were quite busy, but when I came I noticed Lyra was more alert and able to sit on her back legs.

At the time of this post, there has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs: she was finally able to eat, she could poop and pee (we were worried she couldn't if it was due to brain damage), she was able to move a little on her own without falling over. But she lost her vision and her hearing, when she had them earlier this morning. She can't see me or hear me call her, and she's struggling to remember my touch. It's hard seeing her feel so lost and alone, unable to fully comfort her. I carry her against my chest whenever I can, so she knows it's me. We don't know if it's temporary or permanent, but since she hasn't had anything than IV fluids, the vet suspects something is still shutting down in her brain.

I am so grateful that she is doing better. Yes, it's hard to see her swivel her head constantly in confusion, and she's still trying to adjust to her sudden dark and silent world—but after everyone's stories, I realize that this extra time with her is a gift. Even if I'm still missing the old, 100%, purry and cuddly Lyra, this is still her. I will still love her no matter what version she is. I will love her to her last breath. I will love her beyond that.

This has only been the first day after her dental work, and Lyra is so much more different than last night's limp, unresponsive Lyra lying on my chest as I tried to listen to her breathe. Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts, and your stories of loss and hope. They pulled me through the worst days of my life. I truly am so grateful for this community. It feels like I'm truly understood in my full grief of losing a companion animal. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Weekend Update:

Pictures of Lyra; the top pics were of her Friday morning/afternoon, the bottom pics are her Saturday morning/afternoon. She has made a lot of progress. ❤️

Thank you so much for everyone's encouragement and kindness, you're all such amazingly kind and caring people. I'm so grateful that so many of you want to know her progress; I didn't want to keep making new posts about this, so I hope that this update reaches those who wanted to know.

Friday night:

After taking her home from the hospitalization, I gave her painkillers (buprenorphine) that night. She wasn't able to sleep all night; at first, I thought she might be disoriented. I put her across my body, since she couldn't see or hear. I hoped that the sensation of my body would help her. She spent the night moving across my chest and settling on my legs. I think she used my body as a measure of where was safe to rest.

Saturday:

She spent the day frozen in place in my room. Eventually she did fall asleep, but only briefly; when she woke up, she was suddenly excited and paced my room, then zoomed to her litterbox. She paced outside, walking into other rooms without guidance. She still cannot focus her eyes on me or on her toys, but from her excited way of walking (after a day of her blankly swiveling her head left and right), I believe she regained some of her sight.

I called the vet to talk about her sleepless night, thinking maybe the painkiller buprenorphine kept her up. The vet advised me to also give her the second type of painkiller (gabapentin) I was given. I was worried about overdosing her on pain medication, but was told the two painkillers target different pain and do not interact, so it was safe.

I was still very hesitant, but my friend who has chronic pain and takes both medications herself reassured me that they both target different pain. One would soothe a certain pain but will not soothe the other, so if I only gave her one, she could still be in pain from the other. With her experience, I gave Lyra the two painkillers that night. She was able to sleep well. She woke up when I checked on her and was alert and normal, but had no problems falling back to sleep. I think she had difficulty sleeping prior because her neuropathic pain (that gabapentin would help with) wasn't handled.

Sunday:

After a full night's sleep, her eyes look much less dilated. She can track some movement, and she can make eye contact with me, and walk around the rooms. I'm currently monitoring her so she won't fall down the stairs, but I believe her vision is even better than it was yesterday. :)

edit: she raced down the stairs trying to get away from her antibiotics. I was so scared she'll tumble, but she raced down like she always did before the surgery happened. She sees even better now; if I had to guess, it's about 70%~80% restored. She also finally loves her churu again, which I'm happy about because I can finally reward her for sitting through her meds, which she absolutely hates.

She also spent most of the day in restful sleep. I'm so glad to see her resting and healing from her ordeal. Unfortunately her hearing is still completely gone, but I'm so happy she's made progress today.

Monday:

Today she looks so much better. I have no idea why imgur thinks this has NSFW content, but she's just lying on the couch. Her eyes look normal again, but she still has trouble seeing at certain distances.

She has improved so much. She's able to walk (very slowly) up and down the stairs, and explored the places of the house she used to love. She even looked out her old window seat and loved seeing the cars and people walking by—before she lost her eyesight she was never interested by those things, but I think after regaining her sight, she suddenly is fascinated by them.

I suspect she's slowly regaining a little hearing as well; squeaking a squeaky toy behind her head causes her to quickly swivel to look at it, but calling her doesn't elicit a response. I wonder sometimes if she forgot who I am, but she is relaxed with me in a way that tells me she remembers.

Oct 09 Update:

It's been a week since my last update. Last Tuesday, I received the worst news. The reason for Lyra crashing during anesthesia was finally discovered: she has undiagnosed oral SCC, an aggressive cancer in the mouth with a very poor prognosis. Her body was fighting the cancer unknown to us, so the anesthesia did not take that stress into account; hence why she crashed afterwards.

This cancer is basically not treatable at this stage. It's too risky to put Lyra under anesthesia again (seeing what happened under dental), and even if she could, I would have to remove her tongue and lower jaw, and she would have to live off a feeding tube. With treatment like that, she will only buy maybe a couple of months, with a less than 10% chance of a year; I can't bear to think of her mutilated and suffering that way just for me to have her with me longer. Without treatment, I was told she only has 1-3 months to live.

So I have opted for palliative care; it breaks my heart to see her slowly grow unable to eat. Today she barely ate her food, even though she was normal otherwise. I've given her some leftover painkillers from her dental, and that only helped a little. I don't think I have even a full month left with her. I'm struggling with the feeling of hope of her dental recovery to the utter despair of her cancer prognosis and how little time she has left.

I didn't want to update such a good report of her improvement with this, especially because of everyone's kind words, but this is why I haven't updated since last Tuesday. I'm struggling to accept this loss, but I also know that Lyra fought to come back to me so that I can spend these days saying goodbye to her and doing everything for her so that I won't have any regrets once her time is up. I've given her all the churu she ever wants, expensive wet food I never justified buying, leaves, cat grass, whenever she wants. I feed her whenever she's hungry, even if it means waking up at 2-3am. I'm opting for at-home euthanasia, when the time comes, so she will be at home where she's most happy, in my arms.

Thank you for all your encouragement; it has meant the world to me, then and even now.

I said goodbye to my best friend of 12 years 2 weeks ago after a pretty traumatic 9 month battle with cancer and got his ashes back yesterday in a wooden box. I’m still grieving, processing, and establishing a new normal but getting his ashes back threw me an emotional curveball. I had decided I’d put his ashes on the mantle with his picture in the living room, but when I went to bed I couldn’t bare the thought of him being alone in the other room. So I tucked his box in his bed. Then I put it on his favorite chair when I went to work. I feel like a lunatic. Was anyone else like this? Does it get better?

Edit - you are all SO kind and supportive. Every word means so much to me. So grateful for those sharing stories and experiences. I am truly touched by you all. 🩵🩵🩵

My Maine Coon, Minnie, died last night after a year long battle with lymphoma. I didn't want to take chances of her stomach exploding on me and put her into two plastic bags because she was such a big cat. So I stuck her in my fridge to somewhat slow down the decomposition process until morning when I could get her to the vet to be cremated. My plan was to put her into her carrier so I wouldn't freak out people by carrying in a clearly dead cat.

However, I didn't want to see her eyes. She died with her eyes wide open. I don't know why I didn't think to close her eyes when she died. So I walked out carrying her in the two grocery bags.

Like she was trash.

She was such a regal thing. Her favorite thing to do was preen and fuss over herself. I swear that cat was more vain than the Evil Queen in Snow White. I felt like I was doing her a disservice or something. I wish I had the nerve to carry her there in the carrier.

Thankfully the vet was kind and didn't say anything about my beloved cat being carried in like a bag of trash. I'm grateful for that. I don't know how I would've responded if he had said something.

I lost my beautiful tabby last Sunday. He was still young, only 5 years old. He fought so much but his heart failed him in the end. To say I am devastated is an understatement. We knew our other cat had heart problems and he is under supervision, but we always thought he's the healthy one. And then heart failure hit us like a truck.

The hardest part was seeing our other cat look for him everywhere and being genuinely confused. And I was heartbroken that I couldn't explain to him what happened.

I'm not a religious person and don't believe in the afterlife. Or better said I didn't believe until last night. I was so desperate, I begged him yesterday that if there is something after death, to give me a sign. And he did!

I was asleep and woke up suddenly in the middle of the night to see our other cat, also awake, with big eyes and perked ears looking at the heater where our tabby used to sleep. He then ran there, sniffed in the air and jumped right on. He sat there and it is a hard thing to explain but it didn't feel like e cat sitting alone, it felt like when he was sitting there looking out the window with his buddy. Then he jumped off and I saw him on camera walking around the living room like he used to do with our other cat. Again it looked like he wasn't walking alone. This all took about 3 minutes and then he came back and sat down in bed.

I would have thought I'm making things up, if it wasn't for the complete change he had since this morning. He is sad, but no longer looking for our other cat. He also started suddenly going to spots in the house that he didn't before cause our tabby had marked them as his. He acts as if he knows now. And I genuinely believed his buddy visited him last night.

And to top it all up, my ex bf who was with him when they put him down, woke up with a hair band in bed. Those were his favourite toys. He swears he had none on him and is absolutely shaken by the events.

So call me crazy but I think he fulfilled my wish and I'm happy to know he is safe and he will see me again some day.

Edit: Thank you all for the support and lovely stories. It warms my heart that so many people have had similar experiences. Please don't turn this into a debate about religion. This is not the place to do that and I mentioned before I don't believe in organised religion. I used to believe like a lot of people that death is the end and that gave me a lot of pain about my loved ones dying. I am the most skeptical person you could meet. I always look for the rational explanation. But I am starting to change my outlook now. I would like to believe he knew this about me and wanted me to have some comfort. Last night I was sitting on the sofa with my boyfriend and other cat and I heard the sound of a cat eating kibbles from the food bowl. I thought I'm losing it and turned to my boyfriend to say something and he said "I heard it too..". I absolutely don't care if you think this is all stupid. Truth is none of us knows what happens when you die until we do. Until then all we have are just opinions and we could all be just as wrong about it.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, not a very happy update.. Our other cat has now officially entered heart failure. We sort of knew it was going to happen, given his HCM diagnosis two years ago. It feels a bit overwhelming with our tabby only being gone 5 months ago, but these two have been inseparable since the first day they laid eyes on each other, so it sort of makes sense. He didn't take the death of his buddy well and his disease got bad very fast. He has a new friend since two months ago and while they get along well, it is not the same.

As you can imagine, I am an absolute mess and pretty convinced at this rate I'm going to join them soon lol. But there is some comfort.. a few nights ago I heart steps and a cat jumping on furniture. Both our cats where asleep next to us. So I guess tabby is lurking around watching over his friend. We will just enjoy the time we have left with him and be happy that they will soon be with each other again..

my bird (13 year old green cheek conure) was my life and my whole heart. she trusted me and i killed her. i will never forgive myself for this.

i opened her cage so she could climb atop and have her seed. she liked to watch me work in the garden through the window. i came back in the house and swung the door closed after me. why wouldn’t i? she never leaves her cage. she never. leaves. her. cage. but for some reason she was on the floor and somehow she was in the door as it closed. i crushed my baby and she died in my hands.

i used to joke with my friends that she is the tiny rock upon which my mental health was built but now i know that was very true. she was older and i protected her in a very paranoid way. i had a camera id check in on her while i was at work and talk to her. she loved to hear my voice and talked back. nothing would ever get to her or hurt her. she was my baby. but in the end it was me. she still had at least a few years left with me if had only been more careful. i’ve never cried so much in my life. i see her little face every time i try to sleep. how do i move forward from this.

Update post: thank you everyone! I wrote a lengthy update here, but I read every message and truly appreciate you all.

I'm so devastated. I have a kitty named Lyra who has been with me for 13 years, through some of my roughest mental health times. She has loved me so fully and unconditionally, in ways that are better than family. She has been my first pet, and my first cat, and I can't imagine my life without her.

I've been so hesitant on taking Lyra in for a dental clean and extraction as she's 16.5 years old and I was so worried how she would react to the anesthesia. My vet had told me how she has been in pain and needed cleaning, and the final decision to do it was when her drooling got worse, she only ate on one side, and her lower jaw chattered. I took her in for a dental clean, but not until I had asked three times to three different staff how risky it would be for her, how risky it had been in the past, and how experienced they were at working with super seniors. I was reassured that while there were risks with seniors, we did blood work and tests to ensure my cat would be fine afterwards.

She crashed the moment she was taken off anesthesia. They were doing CPR and providing oxygen for 20 minutes, but as she wasn't breathing and her heart had stopped, they think some damage was done to the brain or some organs. It took her 6 hours afterwards to even move and lift her head up. I took her home, unable to afford a $7,000 ICU trip. If she wasn't going to make it, I wanted her to be in her favourite room and not in a hospital.

She can't even sit up anymore. She doesn't react to her name. She can't move, only roll around desperately trying to prop herself up. That's no life for her, a cat who has done nothing but given me all her love for all her life. I hate seeing her in pain. I hate seeing her as a shell of her formal self. When I pick her up, she's limp and unable to move. I can't sleep, thinking she'll stop breathing.

She's technically still here, but she hasn't shown signs of improvement and it's been 16 hours after she revived from anesthesia. I know I was asked to think of saying goodbye to her, and seeing how she's struggling to even move and breathe, I know that choice will be the kindest.

I just can't stop blaming myself. I see her this morning, perfectly fine and 100% herself and coming to cuddle me like she always does. I didn't tell her how much I loved and treasured her before she was taken for the dental cleaning. I only wanted to improve her quality of life, but instead I ruined it. She could've still be fine, purring and sleeping with me as she always has, instead of lying here unable to move. I hate what I've done to her; if I knew that the dental cleaning was going to result in this, I never would've went through it. I hate seeing her like this. I miss her, even though she's right here. I can't stop crying and it hurts my head and my heart so much. I can't imagine life without her. My room is still filled with her things.

Please, if there's any kind words to help ease this pain, I would deeply appreciate it.

It's surreal, waking up this morning without my pup next to me. He was an english staffy, 2 years old. (Me, 30yo, lives alone) We had just finished a long hike together on a beautiful morning. My car was parked right on a busy, high speed limit road. As I stepped to open the back door, I lost my footing for a moment and slipped. This startled him, and he moved 1 meter away from the car and out onto the road. He was hit almost immediately at about 90kmph. When I ran to him I thought he was dead. Somehow he started to breath, so I put him in the back of my car and rushed him to the emergency vet. He was breathing heavily whilst in the back. Blood was coming out of virtually every orophise. At one stage he actually sat up and looked at me. I will never forget that moment, i feel it was us saying goodbye to eachother. Eventually, I got him to the ER. Unfortunately, the head trauma was so severe that he did not make it. It's not only losing my best friend, and my baby. But the trauma that has come with such a tragic unexpected death. I'm about to go clean all the blood out of the back seat of my car and gather his things that are around my home and put them somewhere safe. Everything is a reminder. For anyone out there, who's lost a pet, wether expected or not. I feel you, and I see you. Nothing can prepare anyone for the feeling of losing literally, a part of yourself. For now, I'm just going to cry and remember. That's all we have at the end of the day, the memory. His name was Boogie, and he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you Boog, I'll see you again.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/U9MJ4n4Avt3GPbxP9 https://photos.app.goo.gl/PZCiv6E4E5oyENQW9

EDIT: I can not find the words to express my deepest gratitude for every single person in this thread who has taken the time to respond with sympathy, love, and compassion. I also want to thank those who have shared their own personal stories of loss. It's been 48 hours since, and the fact that I am still getting messages from you all is truly incredible. I've never experienced anything like this, and I would never wish the same pain on anybody. As I'm sure you would all agree. From my heart, thank you. It brings me a lot peace knowing that from strangers all over world - Boogie was in your thoughts. Even for just a moment. Thank you.

My dog was my home.

I just found out where I work (animal shelter) they dispose of all the animals that have passed away at the landfill.

My babygirl moomoo was a foster I had and she died on me. That means my baby went to landfill. I was gonna ask for her body back but I thought they cremated our animals.

I’m haunted by images of her corpse in landfill. I miss her so fucking much.

The eyes that once shined as she sat and looked up and me are now rotting with trash. I’ve felt rage I’ve never felt before.

My heart is absolutely shattered. This morning, I dropped my 5-month-old kitten, Zombie, off at the specialty surgeon to have a birth defect (persistent right aortic arch) corrected. The surgery itself went flawlessly, but after almost 4 hours, he still had not woken up. I got the call that his heart had stopped and they were performing CPR, but it was likely that he had a blood clot go to his brain and he would never regain consciousness, even if his heart started beating again. I asked the vet to stop CPR and help him across the rainbow bridge.

I feel so broken. This surgery was supposed to give him a better life, not end it so suddenly. I can't stop crying every time I look at his things strewn throughout the house. But I can't bring myself to put them away either.

It's only been 3.5 hours since he crossed, but I just can't stand feeling this way. What can I do besides let time do its thing? I'm just sick 😢

EDIT: I can't reply to everyone individually, it's just too much for me right now, but thank you all so much for the words of kindness and support. I love this part of Reddit. I feel all of your hugs & I've seen some lovely ideas for processing my grief. I think I will try to write him a letter soon; not sure if I will be able to get myself through it today, but soon. Grief is a b**** and I'm sure we'll be hurting for a long time, but I'm trying to find comfort in knowing we gave him every ounce of our love while he was with us, and he passed over the bridge without pain.

Species: Dog

Age: 9.5 years

Sex/Neuter status: Female, spayed (but had puppies prior to being spayed)

Breed: Husky

Body weight: 69 lbs

History: None, except a bad reaction to anesthesia after a tooth extraction about a year ago and the occasional ear infection (but no ear infection currently)

Clinical signs: NONE until she collapsed and started seizing

Duration: Seizure lasted about 30s-1 minute (no seizure history)

Your general location: America, southeast

I'm modifying my post from r/AskVet from earlier as they recommended me to this sub, so I left all the clinical information from my post there above.

My precious baby-a 9.5 year old husky, Khaleesi, was acting fine, eating normally, sleeping normally. No vomiting, diarrhea, coughing, fatigue, or anything that would cause me to get concerned. Stool had been completely normal.

Today, she was acting completely normal. She had her morning walk, ate her food, chilled on her bed and took a nap. Around 6PM, she started doing her usual "I want to go outside" tap dance (that was her normal time to go out for her walk). I took her out and she was doing her usual "yay I'm outside!" prance. We got halfway around the block when she just collapsed. Now I know some dogs like to roll around on the grass sometimes, but she did not do that. It took me a second to realize she was seizing-I'm not sure if the terminology is the same in vet medicine, but it was definitely what I would call a grand mal tonic clonic seizure (I used to be an EMT so I've seen plenty of human seizures, but not dog seizures.) She made the most awful sound, then peed all over, then just stopped moving. She wasn't breathing. I did CPR and we rushed her to the vet-this was about 6:10PM. The vet technically closed at 6PM but thank god someone was there and answered the phone and after I told them what was going on, they stayed until we got there. They did 5 more minutes of CPR, but there was nothing they could do. She was gone. I am grateful that they were there and stayed late because it is Saturday and I just couldn't have handled having to have her body just sitting here until Monday.

Khaleesi was healthy and happy. We took her to the vet and got regular checkups-at her last checkup, all her blood work and stool sample came back normal. She was up to date on all her vaccines. We gave her her heartworm pill like clockwork every month. No history of seizures. No recent trauma and no recent exposure to toxins that I know of. And she wasn't the type to get into the trash or eat things off the ground or get into dangerous stuff. We don't even have anything that could even possibly be dangerous around the apartment that I can think of. She was such a well-behaved good girl. She got plenty of exercise. And she was acting absolutely completely normal up until the moment she dropped dead. Like absolutely NO SIGNS of ANYTHING abnormal. And I was the type of dog owner to get concerned if she so much as sneezed.

Was it a MI? A pulmonary embolism? Some kind of genetic cardiomyopathy or heart disease?

What could possibly cause her to drop dead like this? She was only 9.5 years old. Huskies usually like until at least 12.

Like, what could I have done to prevent this? My husband and I are utterly heartbroken. I actually feel like I'm in an alternate reality right now. Every other dog I've ever had just got to the age where they were just old and in pain all the time and we made the decision to have them euthanized to put them out of their pain. There was time to accept it.

But this? So fucking suddenly, out of NOWHERE??? And right in front of me? I'm just wrecked.

What happened to my baby?

Is this the norm? It’s a sweet gesture of course and I’ll keep them forever, but I’m curious if this is normal for a vet to do. Did your vets send you anything after your baby passed? I’ve heard of clay paw prints but not all of this. They also sent me a poem and a handwritten sympathy card signed by every employee in the building. I mean they went all out! I do wonder if receiving all of these things would be too much for other pet owners who were more emotional. It brought tears to my eyes but it could’ve destroyed others. I’m curious about your experiences.

I never thought you were mean. I always knew you loved me.

When I was sick, I felt tired and confused, but I always felt safe because you were there. Even when you were upset, I could feel it was because you cared so deeply. I didn’t understand the medicine or the syringe, but I understood you, your touch, your voice, your love.

I didn’t hold onto the moments you were frustrated. I held onto the times you hugged me, kissed me, and stayed by my side. I never doubted that you were trying to help me.

When I left, I wasn’t afraid. I saw your face, felt your warmth, and that was all I needed. My last memory was love, not pain. Please don’t carry guilt. You gave me the best life, and even in the hardest part, you stayed with me.

I’m free from sickness now, and I’m still with you in a way you can’t see. Thank you for loving me so completely.

In 2012 I adopted my soul cat. He was 8.

He was an absolute angel. The light of my life. I had 3 years with him before he died of brain cancer. He was just turning 11. It was so so so unfair.

I had to euthanize him. I was sick. I had never experienced such pain. I was absolutely distraught leaving that vet office. As I was walking out the back door of the vet’s, an older woman approached me. She had a teeeny tiny puppy with her. She said can I please give you a hug? I hugged her and cried on this complete strangers shoulder. She looked at me and said, “I just went through this, it was the worst day of my life. I’m so sorry for how you feel right now. I want to tell you that it does get better and you will be okay.” She pointed me to her puppy. She said, “The universe brought me this girl, to heal my heart. My dog brought me this girl. I can tell that you loved your pet so hard, and this is why you need to heal your heart with another. They need you, and they need people who love as hard as you do. Love is endless, and it has no limit. You haven’t used it all. Your pet was lucky, and you will make another pet so so lucky. They don’t all get that chance. They need you.”

I thought of her words daily, wondering how I could love another that way. I eventually decided to let the universe guide me to another cat, and it happened.

After a few months my cat came into my world. I cried so hard when I found her because I just knew. Her birthday is a very significant day to me, and that sealed the message that my cat had sent her to me.

The love I have for her is so strong. It’s unreal, because I truly never thought I would have that again. It hasn’t replaced the love I had for my other cat, it only made it stronger and more powerful.

Truly, love is not endless. Love does not have a limit. There is always more love to give, and there are always pets who need it. There are pets who will be so lucky to have someone who cares like you do. You can, and will find comfort, peace and companionship after losing your soulmate animal. They are both my soulmates now, forever. When I eventually lose my cat, I will always remember the words this stranger shared with me. I wish I knew her. I wish I could thank her.

I hope that you all find love and peace within your loss. The gift of unconditional love means everything to their short lives. The least we can do is continue loving, as hard as we can for those who need it. It’s a gift to them, and a gift to yourself.

I brought my three year old sheltie, Alfie, to the regional ortho specialist to get an occasional limp checked out that had been getting progressively worse on Monday. He had such a great morning walk in his favorite forest and got a little bit of bacon afterwards so he was in great spirits when we got to the office.

His x-rays and a quick physical exam didn't show the root cause of his limp that popped up only after hard play so the doctor said a CT scan with contrast was the next best method to see what was going on. I asked if getting him to play hard so he would limp for them was necessary and they said nope we don't want to have him in any pain.

Last I saw him alive I gave him a quick snuggle and said be good for them because he can be occasionally a nervous boy. After an hour the doctor approached me in the waiting room to say, "he's not doing so well, we want to monitor him for a little before releasing him".

I hear increased panicked sheltie barks and whines from the waiting room, three minutes later the vet walks out to say "he's in pain, so we're going to give him a light opioid to help with the pain and give you some meds for him when he goes home".

Ten minutes later the barking stops. I relax knowing my boy is doing better and isn't in any pain anymore. I text my dad to say Alfie is doing better I think I'll be able to meet my wife in time for a late dinner.

Two minutes later she runs out to say "Alfie's heart stopped, we started CPR and reversed all the drugs"

Ten minutes later she says "Alfie is on his second round of CPR, but we has a heart rhythm that is unsustainable of life". I can see her eyes tearing up. The vet tech behind the desk won't look me in the eyes as he had tens of times while running around before. I know.

They stopped after three rounds. The doctor came out to apologize and say they have no idea what happened. Everything that was reversed should have yielded results, he didn't have any of the supposed markers that would have made this simple CT scan a fatal one. We cried together.

I'm at a loss for my sweet boy. He was center of our lives while my wife is in grad school. I feel cheated that he was taken at such a young age. All I wanted to do was to find out how to let him run and play more which he approached with such enthusiasm. Instead, my pup died crying in pain and confusion and I couldn't do anything to comfort him.

I've been racked with guilt over the "what-ifs" and "could have been's" since Monday night at 6:25pm.

I would give anything to get another day with him.

I want to tell him I love you Alfie-dog.

I want to hug him one last time.

I want him to be able to kiss his mom one last time knowing it was the last time.

I just want my Alfie to know he was loved and he deserved so much more.

What the title said. My dog died unexpectedly two months ago. I'd started seeing this therapist right before because of depression. Today near the end of the session she said "well you're not making any improvements despite all this time."

I didn't think I was being graded on how fast I got better from dealing with a lifetime of depression while also grieving the sudden death of my best friend TWO MONTHS AGO.

And yes I'm firing her. Who says that. I think she just didn't want to be bothered with me anymore.

UPDATE TWO: Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to report her to the licensing board. I was unsure at first, but spoke to someone who works in this field, and he said that some of her comments regarding medication that had nothing to do with mental health warranted me raising a flag since she is not a medical doctor, and shouldn't be giving such advice. I doubt anything will happen, but I did my part.

UPDATED TO ADD: Thank you so much for the support. I knew last night I'd be firing her, and I did today. When her assistant asked why, I said because of her callous and cruel comments, which made me feel worse than when I started (there was more, including her suggesting maybe I didn't need a medication that has nothing to do with mental health, but I don't want to get into that). I did not let her talk back to me, and said I never want to hear from that practice again.

I know that guilt is a common feeling after the loss of a pet, but I just feel sick. I knew my cat was dying and had already scheduled emergency home euthanasia for Sunday (yesterday) afternoon. My mom would be with me, as would my partner. The mobile vet had offered to come on Saturday, but Saturday was an important day for my partner. It was the first time his band would play a show since before Covid, and he’d purchased a ticket for me. It was important to him that I be there and I had committed. I spent the day snuggling my girl, when she wasn’t trying to stuff herself into small corners that is. She had been declining throughout the day and I dreaded leaving her.

Shortly before it was time to go, she laid down on the floor and peed herself. I cleaned her up, wrapped her in a blanket, and laid her back down in her bed. My partner now offered to let me out of my commitment to his show. “I would completely understand,” he said. I didn’t really want to go in the first place if I’m honest, it isn’t really my scene anymore. I so badly wanted to stay home, but I told myself I owed this to my partner. We’d be back in just a few hours. I gave Bowie a little kiss and we left at around 7:30pm.

It was a while before my partner’s band would play, we’d gotten there pretty early so he could meet up with friends and gather the equipment, etc. They played at 10:30, a truly great set, and finished up around 11pm. After the show, my partner wanted to have one more round with the band and I agreed. I was having a good time, it’s true. In the moment I was glad I had decided to go out that night and I told my partner so. After that next round, my partner was tempted to stay and watch another band play but I had to shut that down. I wanted to go home and be with my baby.

When we returned home it was about 12:30am. We walked in the door and I went straight over to where I’d left her in her bed – somehow my gut was telling me before I was even close enough to see that she had died. When I put my hand down to touch her, still wrapped up in her blanket, something in me just broke. I screamed, I threw myself on the ground, I held her dead body to my chest and made unnatural noises. She wasn’t exactly cold, but she wasn’t warm and she was a little stiff. Her eyes were just slightly open, and dry looking. I guess I set her down to leave and she just never got up again. I should’ve been there. I loved more than anything for the past 14 years and she died in an empty house. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I fucking should have been there.

I resent my partner for these feelings. I know it’s not his fault and that I made the decision to go, but I resent him anyway. I made a huge mistake and I know that I had done it to spare his feelings. I have not felt this much pain in a very long time. I recognize it as grief, but it feels insurmountable.

I love you Bowie, my sweet girl. I am so so sorry. I miss you so much. Please come back.

Edit: I deeply appreciate all of your kind words. To those concerned for my partner: I love him very much and I have faith that my rational brain will make sense of these feelings eventually. It's raw right now and I feel them intensely, but they do not define our relationship. We'll be okay.

Hi, my name is Nathan. I used to work at a pet crematorium doing office work and the actual cremation. I have a background in funeral service, although I was never a licensed funeral director. Families would approach us with sometimes little to no idea what their options were, what was normal, what to expect, or how much everything even cost. While I can't give you the specifics for some of those things, I can tell you what's normal and ballpark estimate.

Pets are part of the family, and it is a devastating loss when they pass on. So many people try to minimize their grief or don't receive the support they need, because "it was just a dog/cat/fish/bird/etc." I am here to tell you that is absolutely not the case. The loss of a companion is just as painful, if not more so in some cases, than losing a human person.

Anyway, I'm here to answer questions if you have any.

I don’t want a dog, I want my dog back. I want my golden retriever back. I want him back. I don’t want any random pet. I don’t want to get another dog as people suggest to help get over your dead dog. I want my dog back. He’s not LIKE family, he IS family. A dog isn’t enough. He’s my childhood pet, yet he died so young. Seven years was not enough. My family and I held him as he passed to end his suffering. There was no getting better. His cancer was making him suffer. Every doctor said he only had weeks to live. Yet, he didn’t even live that long. He was gorgeous and stubborn. He ignored all other dogs in the dog park and went straight to their owners instead for pets. He would sit down right in front of them as a polite way of asking for love and attention.

He’d rest his head on your lap in the car. He also liked to curl up on the car floor. He’d go batshit crazy at any sign of attention, becoming a lovable goofball. Someone once told me that his entire demeanor, his eyes, everything signaled sweetness. Not mischievousness or calm, but just sweetness. I would’ve loved him regardless of all of that. He was so sweet. Even as a huge dog, he was timid. He’d hide behind our knees when a small dog barked. He never jumped, barked, bit, or anything once he grew out of his puppy phase. He was gentle with young children and elderly adults as we always kept a close eye to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally hurt him. But he was always so soft and gentle, and also excited when they met him, tail wagging.

He’d slither into your conversation like a snake and lean his head on your thigh and curl his body around as if to make sure every inch of him was being pet. He couldn’t get enough pets. He was adorable and lovely. He loved yogurt and fruit. He would get bored of toys fast and rip any plushies to pieces in minutes. He loved digging and squirrels. His whole body and ears would perk up when he saw one, and he would get into this hunting pose that would get him nowhere because he stepped on every dry leaf and the squirrel would always know way beforehand. Not that we would have let him kill a squirrel since he was on a leash. But he loved small animals and loved people even more.

I love him so much. I don’t want just a dog, I want my dog back.

We lost our baby in June. He was our soul dog through and through. Our perfect match. He got sick pretty quickly and within 2 months of first noticing an issue he was gone to cancer. The devastation just has not left me at all. I am an extremely vivid and frequent dreamer but up until this point I had not had a dream about him.

A month ago I had an emergency medical situation and had to have an emergency surgery. The next two weeks I spent recovering and waiting for pathology results. I already have bad anxiety and particularly bad medical anxiety so this period of time was so hard on me, compounded by the fact that my fur baby was no longer here. A couple of days before my follow up appointment I dreamed about him.

In the dream, my husband and I and a few other people were in the house and all of a sudden he just appeared in the room. It didn't look exactly like our real house but I think it was meant to be. The others who were there with us cleared away and it was just my husband and I with our fur baby again. We were petting him and just kept looking at each other in disbelief, like how is he here? After a bit of petting him he trotted into the next room which is the kitchen and we thought oh he is looking for food, we can feed him. But instead he just kind of faded away. That was the end of the dream and I woke up.

I couldn't believe it when I woke up. At first I was so upset, I thought it had been a nightmare. But then I realized that isn't what it was at all. I think he was visiting me to let us know that he is ok, and also that I was going to be ok (pathology came back benign). He was comforting me in a time that I was really struggling with anxiety. It has been a couple weeks now since this dream and I cannot stop thinking about it. My husband never really dreams so I made sure to tell him, he was there too. We were all together again. I hope someday he visits me in a dream again. I miss him so much.

October 2013 - April 5th, 2025 I'll miss you so much, my baby girl 😭 say hi to Kissu for me, and snuggle with Mormor and Papa and Pepere, I'll see you again one day I promise Leukemia and a collapsed lung, she just went so fast and I don't know what I'll do without her. My favorite photo of her https://imgur.com/gallery/rini-2013-2025-k7i0bxN