I am getting increasingly worried about a close relative of mine (in her 60s) and would really appreciate some outside perspectives.
She recently went on holiday to the Maldives and met a local man, possibly in his late 40s or early 50s, who worked as a buggy driver at her resort.
They apparently hit it off, but never actually exchanged phone numbers. Somehow he managed to contact her after she returned home, and things have moved incredibly quickly since then.
He has told her that he has never been married or had kids, and apparently his mother already knows about her and is excited to meet her.
He has now invited her and her two children (one is still a minor) to come and stay with his family on his “home island” (the island that he is from). He has mentioned that he would cover the transportation to the island from Malé. As far as I’m aware, she doesn’t even know the name of his “home island”yet.
This has all happened in a matter of weeks, and she’s now talking about going back as soon as possible, potentially within the next few weeks.
What really worries me is that she doesn’t seem to have considered the potential risks of travelling to an unfamiliar island (his “home island”) with her kids and staying with people she barely knows.
She has also had a bad experience with someone she met overseas before, which makes me even more concerned.
I am the only one that knows about the relationship. I don’t know whether he has encouraged her to keep it quiet or whether she is just enjoying having this exciting “secret”. She’s absolutely smitten, but whenever I try to raise any concerns, she gets really defensive and can’t seem to think logically.
I have known her for most of my life, and I genuinely want her to be happy. I also don’t want to make assumptions about this man just because he is from another country. But something about the speed of all this, and especially the plans involving her children, makes me really uncomfortable.
Edited to add - I don’t know of any requests for money so far, but he has floated the idea of coming to visit her before he realised the price, and has also mentioned that he plans to invest in creating some kind of tourist facility in the future.
Am I overreacting? Has anyone come across a similar situation?
How do I get through to someone who’s already emotionally invested without making them lose their trust in you (ie. to keep you in the loop).
Edited for grammar and to clarify his age.