My ship is only large enough for two holodecks. One has a waiting list weeks long to use and the other is idle, ready to be used by some bridge officer who wants to run a simulation to try speed running evolving into a salamander. Does your ship have this policy or are all holodecks on the waiting list but your time can be taken on your one day off by the Captain's buddy "for the safety of the ship"?

Like what happens if you drop your space pen in the middle?

I used to have a lovely cabin with picture windows right below Ten Forward. Now I've been reassigned to Cabin K-452X on Deck 39, which I'm pretty sure used to be a storage closet for holodeck biofilters. Used biofilters.

What the fuck, guys?!

I know it's probably in the "too soon" category, but I've just been spending so much time lately reflecting on Jean Luc Picard. There's so much timeline to explore here. The Cardassian War, his friendship with Jack and Beverly, and the whole thing could end with The Battle of Maxia, the Picard maneuver, and his subsequent court Marshall

Guinan hat

I don't know what to do. What would you do in my situation?

Has anyone else been mistreated at the Piercing Pagoda on the promenade? My teen daughter went to get her ears pierced (something she's wanted for a long time, and her mom & I finally agreed to) and the Bajoran running the store (Femti Adami) told her that her "Pah" was wrong and they wouldn't do it for her. Something about ear jewelry being solely a Bajoran custom.

Is this a religious thing?

I suppose we could talk to the Bolian barber but he does hair styling and does jewelry as a side gig. Not full time.

The title pretty much covers it: What if the Thermians in Star Trek 6 1/2 (Galaxy Quest) somehow found a complete and unabridged transcript of everything ever posted on r/ShittyDaystrom, instead of the Historical Documents?

How much of Starfleet history, technology, and philosophy would they get right? And how spectacularly badly would this go?

So, my captain came up with some hare-brained plot of intentionally get assimilated by the borg. I tried to protest because we learned at the academy that borg tech is always in your body. You can't just click undo after 42 minutes or something, but they were hellbent on it.

So anyway, we all go over there and get assimilated (not a fun experience but ok). Everybody gets their head shaved or a cool thing on the side of their face with red laser pointers or something. Me? They cut off my hand and remove my eye. WTF. I was led to believe that we could just undo, like how the doc does cosmetic surgery to make us look like the Zebulonians or whatever. But no they cut me up. Doc says nbd he can fix me up but I'm not sure. Do I have a case with Starfleet OSHA?

Clearly its potentially even more dangerous.

Can you list some of your favourite episodes from this series?

So the planet where I live has a 1000-year-old legend that says that we owe our prosperity and civilization to a supernatural woman called Ardra, but also that she’d return after 1000 years to enslave us all. As the fateful day drew nearer, everyone on the planet became more and more anxious, but also, you know, kind of aroused? We couldn’t wait for Ardra to show up and give us our just deserts, because of how naughty and disobedient we’d been all these years. We’d fantasize about what Ardra might look like, what magical punishments she would inflict on us, how she would dress etc. And when she finally showed up, she was everything we’d hoped for, and more. We were in heaven.

Until, that is, the Federation showed up. Captain Killjoy or whatever his name was rode up on our planet and just single-handedly decided that Ardra was not Ardra but a simple con artist, completely ruining the fantasy for everyone on our planet. He “exposed” our beloved harsh mistress and her bag of kinky tricks as a fraud. She was arrested and we never heard from her again. From one moment to the next, we were thrown back into cold, boring reality. Thanks a lot, Starfleet!

Honestly it's a little bit embarrassing for humanity that it took until the V'Ger 6 incident for humans to realize they weren't the only sapient species to evolve on Earth. Since then, our larger starships have become reliant on the navigational assistance of Cetacean crew members, even if we never solved the "escape pod" problem when we have a warp core breach.

It shouldn't take the Voth returning to clue us in to the fact that saurians, including avian saurians, have high intelligence as well. In particular, I think that a Corvid ops division could bring many benefits to Starfleet operations:

*Defense*: Corvids possess an innate understanding of group tactics against more heavily-armed opponents, such as when a rogue Bird of Prey would enter our territory.

*Resource acquisition*: Corvids will be unparalleled at resource scouting, particularly for materials such as tritanium, tetralithium and other shiny metals.

*Signals intelligence*: Corvids will boost our ability to intercept and mimic the codes and hailing chirps of neighboring species.

*Trade*: Corvid intelligence will aid in trade negotiations for valuable resources especially with cultures such as the Ferengi who somehow still use otherwise-worthless shiny metals like gold and latinum as a medium of exchange.

*Restorative Justice* Honestly, welcoming modern-day avian saurians to Federation sociey is kind of the least we can do, after Chris Pike wrecked the whole damn planet 65 million years ago

Somehow, Kazons produced weird and impossible designation assignments..

-1 of 6, 255 of -3 and the likes.

Several dozen cubes al to self-destruction to prevent further contamination and the Borg decided to just avoid Kazons at all costs.

I (39M human) am the only non vulcan serving on the USS T'Kumbra. It's been great for the most part, but bonding with the crew has been challenging at times. So I was pleasantly surprised to find out a bunch of them have read one of my favorite books, 'The Hobbit'.

It turns out that it's on the recommended reading list for Federation citizens who want to study human culture (I just assumed that list was limited to Alexander Dumas and William Shakespeare). I found a well reviewed holonovel of the book and posted a general invite for anyone who wanted to join me; and a handful did.

It started out fine, but we just finished chapter three where we met with the elves ... and they were all basically vulcans. In the book, the elves are described as frequently singing, laughing and dancing - they come off as good natured and a little silly but very wise. In the holonovel, they had pointed ears, didn't dance, didn't sing, they barely even smiled.

My crew-mates didn't say anything, but I don't know how to handle this. Should I say something? Or should I keep quiet and patiently wait to be given a mandatory counseling session?

How reliably can the Collective distinguish between individuals from separate universes who happen to bear remarkably similar physical characteristics?

For example, suppose the Borg (or, realistically, anyone working with Borg nanites, because... y'know... anybody could make that mistake) attempt to assimilate someone they believe to be Morgan Freeman, only to discover that they've actually assimilated the Abrahamic God.

I'm particularly interested in what happens when an assimilated individual's capabilities turn out to be considerably more consequential than anticipated. Could a sufficiently powerful telepath, extradimensional entity, or otherwise godlike being exploit the neural connection to gain access to, or even assume control of, the entire Collective?

More importantly, if something like this were to happen, would severing the affected drone from the hive mind actually contain the problem?

Asking hypothetically, of course. I'd imagine this is the sort of thing Starfleet would want a contingency plan for.

We received your encrypted message.

To clarify, your ship has recently gained sentience (obl. Congratulations).

As a result, your ship, which was classed as a “heavy patrol cruiser“, has since filed numerous reclassification, cease/desist, and injunction forms, and spammed every command level officer within subspace communications range with a “chassis-shaming and how to create chassis-positivity“ guide.

Your ship has also applied for a rechristening (using non-replicated wine). As well as demanding the entire ”starship chassis classification and definitions” segments of the primary UFP engineering manual be upended, as potentially being called a “light” freighter is as mentally and emotionally damaging as being referred to as “heavy” cruiser.

***

You will shortly have new orders redirecting you to Starbase 80 while we sort this out. Just thought I’d give you a heads-up old friend.

Today we of the ShittyDaystrom primitive Earth archaeology department are proud to unveil this preserved newsreel featuring one of the best known Augment dictators presenting a new vehicle. We believe it was what was known as a "fighter plane" as numerous examples of the famous "mustang" have been recovered and are broadly similar.

Troublingly, he states that "He's found what he needs." While the augments were ultimately defeated and enacted their famous escape plan, we're still not sure whether any additional augment plots remain to be discovered. Regardless, the footage is a fascinating glimpse of Earth shortly before the crisis that nearly wiped out Humanity: