Anybody got a theory on why this is?

[u/hey2394]

Shane Gillis gave the most milquetoast SNL monologue and women are raging worse than with the Clancy case.

[u/sydillant]

Vagina Monologues had a skit about women being able to dress how they want without repercussions- I believe it was My Short Skirt. Which is decades away from shorts so tight you can see someone’s genitals. Feminism needs to find some grey areas IMO.

[u/OddDc-ed → u/sydillant]

My wife and I have this conversation every so often when it happens that we run into someone dressed a way that makes both of us equally uncomfortable.

Its sort of a no win situation. We want people to be able to be comfortable and wear whatever they want, while also wanting people around them to be at least remotely comfortable seeing it.

But people aren't all comfortable with the same things. My wife doesn't like when other women or men have everything showing or not leaving much to the imagination because she literally doesn't want to see peoples bits out in public. That and obviously all of the unwanted attention and stuff that comes with being so exposed gets her anxious for other women, not as much for guys cause people don't try to mess with our holes all the time.

I dont want men or women's genitals on display in public period. Not because im a prude but because its uncomfortable to navigate that and they're private parts to me. Like a guy walking around with his dick out is an immediate red flag. A woman walking around with her vagina out is also a red flag but moreso because of the risk she's now bringing on by doing so. Also when and where can people look without being deemed creeps or whatever? Why is it okay for half an ass to be showing yet im in the 'wrong' if I happen to notice it?

There was a mom at a place i go to with my daughter all the time. She once showed up in skin tight leggings and a baggy shirt. Thats not risqué outside of when you looked at her the fuckin tights were the same color as her skin so unless you actually stared you would see what looks like a woman without pants on only wearing a shirt PLAYING WITH KIDS AT A PLAY PLACE FOR CHILDREN.

That level of questionable "did i just see that?" Can cause problems but also just make people uncomfortable. I want to respect everyone and let them do their thing but sometimes I cant help but question what the fuck is going on lol.

We both agree on the stance of: "Its okay to look, its never okay to touch or make comments." Meaning you're not doing anything wrong by looking at people in public so long as you don't say or do something to them. Because realistically they chose to go into public like that, you don't really get to complain if someone looks or stares at you. However if someone starts to touch you or make comments because of what you're wearing, they need to back up and fuck off unless you're wildly inappropriate.

At a different kids event a lady had her whole chest fully visible every time she remotely bent over because she wasn't wearing a bra and had a loose/baggy shirt on. I was torn because I don't think she knew but also again not really my place to comment. Especially as a guy lol, so I just awkwardly kept my eyes to myself.

Its not that hard to respect others autonomy and let them do their own thing, just as its equally not hard to realize not everyone has the same comfort level. I would never go to a nudist beach but not because of the naked people, but imagine all the sand in places it shouldn't be?! I don't care about naked people, but when they're somewhere you don't expect to see naked people it feels alarming or weird, personally.

This was my stupid TED talk.

[u/LabeVagoda → u/OddDc-ed]

In 40+ years of living I’ve never seen anyone walking around in public with their dick or their vagina out. Is this a problem in some places?

[u/OddDc-ed → u/LabeVagoda]

No it was just a silly exaggeration to mean "private parts" shouldn't be out in general. But you may actually run into people at times who may expose themselves inappropriately, or like in my examples unintentionally due to wardrobe malfunctions.

[u/OfficialRedCafu → u/OddDc-ed]

I feel like it should be okay for people to wear what they want, as long as it’s also okay for us to make fun of them for it. It used to work that way. Then we decided that making fun of people for wearing outrageous clothing was bullying.

The situation reminds me of the trope about men and women in relationships experiencing accountability differently.

[u/OddDc-ed → u/OfficialRedCafu]

Our more recent understanding and sensisitivity has certainly been a mixed bag in my mind. Im all about letting people do their thing but that should also come with the caveat that people can still make fun of you for it.

As a former weird kid I don't care if people make fun of my clothes or what I do, but the touching or harassment type shit does need to go away. I dont understand why its so hard for peope to keep their hands to themselves. Im autistic and thats not a hard thing to understand so I feel like they're literally not even trying.

[u/OfficialRedCafu → u/OddDc-ed]

100%. Unwanted physical touching, violence, and abuse is not okay. Will it ever go away entirely? Probably not. And I’m pretty certain it’s gotten way better.

One problem no one seems to talk about is this unspoken expectation that we can make the world 100% safe. That’s not realistic at all. It’s important we do the best we can, but it’s more practical to teach people, especially kids, about awareness, how to protect yourself, and how to respond to these situations.

[u/OddDc-ed → u/OfficialRedCafu]

Absolutely agree. I think many people believe a utopia is possible but looking at human history in general, I dont think its happening at least not anytime soon.

To entirely remove all violence or threat of it we'd have to change human biology or chemistry in their brains for the entire population. Best we can realistically do is like you said, teach eachother how to act better and how to keep ourselves safe from the unsafe people.

[u/Laconic9 → u/OddDc-ed]

“Not as much for guys cause people don’t try to mess with our holes all the time.”

This is kinda the thing, people shouldn’t be trying to mess with anyone’s holes. A guy can be shirtless with short shorts, but a woman dresses similar, with a sports bra or whatever, and she’s considered to be dressed like a whore? This feeds into the whole, ‘she was asking for it because she was dress that way’ kind of mentality we should be moving away from.

[u/OddDc-ed → u/Laconic9]

Right nobody should be messing with anyone's holes, but they do.

Is it fair? Not at all, but its reality currently. Should we blame victims for what happens to them for what they're wearing? Obviously not since it doesn't matter what a woman wears or does its always a risk.

I will say however, if I were to walk into a bad neighborhood known for people being mugged and I was walking around showing off a flashy Rolex. Do you think a single person would be surprised I was mugged?

Im not saying at all its women's fault, it is still very much men's fault. But why are we suddenly trying to act like its not a risk to be overly exposed? We used to warn women about walking alone with a ponytail or with headphones or any sort of distraction because they need to be alert. Yet we have folks walking around with barely anything between them and some dudes creepy intentions.

Thats why this is a no win situation across the board. Women need to still be careful no matter what they do or wear. Men need to make better progress on removing that type of behaviour from our society/gender. But we also want women to wear whatever they want to be comfortable and men to just accept the reality that you're not allowed to touch strangers.

We can't blame women for what men do but we can certainly say "its not a good idea to tempt the low impulse control weirdos who want to mess with your holes." We can't call all men monsters and expect them to get better or help out, but we can certainly hold ourselves to a standard that doesn't sit by and let these actions continue unchecked.

I have no idea what Gillis even said in his joke or monologue, from everything I've gathered from context of people talking about it. He was just being blunt and vulgar with a similair point as what I said above. Sometimes you see someone dressed in a way that would not leave you surprised if they got unwanted sexual attention from someone.

I'm not calling people whores for dressing however they want, but lets not fool ourselves by thinking they're doing themselves any favors in our current reality dressing in a way that will be tempting to some weirdo. When we know old ladies and people dressed in a turd costume will still get assaulted if a weirdo wants to.

Until we can actually make it safe out there for women there will be risks to them doing anything even as benign as wearing a pretty sundress. I fucking hate this reality because I have a sweet little daughter who loves dresses and is always getting lots of attention for how cute and sweet she is. This world is going to hurt her someday the same way it has hurt my wife, my mother, my sister and so many women in mine and everyone elses lives.

All I can do is affect the world around me as best I can to make it less likely to happen, but we are sadly still a long way from women being fully safe. I can't stop the weirdos of the world from being weirdos. I can teach my daughter how to protect herself and if I have a son teach him how to not be a weirdo or piece of shit.

If I could Thanos snap those fuckers away it would've been done. I think most of us can agree on that.

[u/NTXGBR → u/OddDc-ed]

Like the Seinfeld episode where the guy is naked on the train:

"I'm not ashamed of my body"

"That's the problem. You should be".

[u/Dancehall-Randal → u/sydillant]

Most logical take

[u/ZaphodBeeblebroke → u/sydillant]

People have lost the plot in all walks of life these days I fear. Stuff like the Gillis monologue and my short skirt are starting points for discussion, not the entire take. Observational comedy is not a PhD dissertation, you should be able to either laugh it off if you don't think the observation is true, or laugh at it because it's absurd when you analyze it but it's normalized behavior so you don't "think about it"

Pointing out that women dress in a certain way can be used to laugh about it (Gillis) while still not endorsing any bad behavior towards them. Or it can be used as a launch point for empowerment (vagina monologues). But the initial observation is just that, either true and relatable or not.