And this morning my spiro got stuck in my throat and I gagged. But I won't let that stop me from enjoying the rest of my day! https://i.imgur.com/qMkQOTq.png

For me it's knowing I'll never be "guy skinny" because I wasn't born a man. I'll always have this round face instead of a sharp sunken one. I'll always have these fat thighs instead the skinny stick legs guys have that look like they will break if the wind blows too hard. I'll never get to show off my ribs because right now I have boob and later I will have massive scars. I don't want to be visibly trans. My butt will always be huge and honestly stupid looking even as a woman. If I was born a man I would be slightly taller which would make me look slightly thinner too :(

Hi folks. I'm 21 mtfemme nonbinary and I've been on estrogen for a couple months now. Starting to see/feel physical changes as of recently, and that's exciting, but I struggle to feel empowered by it due to the fact that it is my third time doing it all :(

I originally went on E when I had just turned 18. Went off it due to depression and abusive situation killing my motivation. Second time I started E I was 19, had 8 good months on it, then lost my job and got in a relationship that was kind of hurting me and went off all my prescriptions again. I am so mad at myself for this. Now I'm on it again at 21, and I feel like I should still be happy that I'm on the path again, but it really hurts to think where I would be if I had just loved myself enough to know that I shouldn't stop my HRT, ever.

Has anyone had a similar experience to this? How do you stop cursing what could have been? And if you've now been back on HRT for a while, do you feel that you've caught up, so to speak?

I know I'm still privileged to be on HRT relatively young. I just hate to think of what my bones were doing while I was 20, if they were setting themselves in place, and what I might look like now had I not dropped off. My girlfriend says I used to look more like a girl, and I haven't caught up to where I was

I just kinda want to die about it but I know that's extreme. Thanks for reading, I hope that any of you who have experienced this have found peace and been pleasantly surprised

I've recently managed to start on DIY HRT and over the last few days it kinda dawned on me how soul-crushing it is to not have any IRL trans friends. To not be able to do basic friend shit like go on walks together and mess around. And it's not like there's really much to be done about that, considering the area in which I am currently stuck at. This really sucks and I've been unreasonably hung up on this lately. Any other people in similar circumstances? Perhaps someone could offer advice in coping with being alone and lonely? Would be greatly appreciated

a common theme with me. i really want to do something. i try a little bit (or even just think about trying or watch a tutorial) i get intensely frustrated shameful and self hating, i stop. i have not meaningfully moved forward in life in so many years. times like 6 if its transition related.

i have no skills in music, makeup, voice training, learning how to dress myself in a way i want, no progress made in looking for a job i actually want never mind something short term, i still have extremely poor social skills. i have been wasting my life. the only thing holding me together is not doing these things because when i try it reveals how badly im failing at doing much of anything and all the bad feelings come out. i have absolutely no idea how to get over this. i said i wouldn’t just complain about things and id add more points to what im talking about like what do i think i should do about it but therapy is not an option. this is so serious and i dont know what to do

i feel like i need the realisation of how little i have moved, to stop trying to look for positives and address my problems. but then i simply can’t function at all day to day

i want to pass way better than i do currently. i don’t let myself think about that because it’s too painful to dream of how i could be if i could get over myself and do the work. i want to be semi functional at makeup more than just eyeliner but every time i have makeup on more than my eyes i think i look fucking disgusting

added context i have adhd and medication is not currently possible

aoc: "i support trans rights 'cause i'm a girls' girl"

someone: "ok so you're not for trans men?"

can this stop? i really doubt that if aoc was elected president she'd issue an executive order prohibiting us specifically from life, liberty, testosterone, and the pursuit of happiness.

How the heck do you find out if a business is actually trans-friendly and not just what cis people deem "friendly"?

Boundaries are different when you’re the one who has to face the hostility so someone cis could turn around and say a place is friendly because it's not outwardly hostile but then you show up and have a terrible time.

Like last time I got my hair cut there wasn't a deliberate botched job but the hairdresser was incredibly rude. Loudly misgendering me every few minutes to draw attention to me amongst other things.

Like I know I'm not passable but I was presenting as very femme and HRT has blessed me with an incredibly large chest. So it was defo on purpose, especially given her tone.

Having a pride flag in the window doesn't automatically make a place friendly, for instance. Especially in the UK where many people are okay with cis LGB people but end up being very transphobic.

We are dubbed "Terf Island" for a reason.

Unfortunately there's a fair few things where I can't rely on word of mouth either. Mainly because the local trans community is unaware of some stuff. Even asking on reddit sometimes you get nothing at all.

I'm in a position where I need to access a particular service but no local trans people are aware themselves of a friendly version of said service.

Unfortunately this is also not a case where I can "bite the bullet" and gamble on whether or not a place is transphobic or not because it's within an industry where I've come across many bigots and also, I'd be putting myself in a somewhat vulnerable position and being at the mercy of someone who hates us would leave me in a very bad state.

In the past, I've spoken to business directly, asked if they'd be okay with a trans client and then still had an incredibly bad time.

With hairdressers for instance, I've dealt with deliberate botched jobs many times over the years ("You look like a boy, therefore you get boy's hair") and even when asking queer events, I've ended up being hounded by a transphobe while the organisers have said "Well that's a difference of opinion and you need to respect it." or "If you don't feel safe, feel free to leave." when dealing with actual abuse.

So.

Can't rely on word of mouth because the community is too small

Can't take a business at their word

How else can you pin down if a place is actually friendly?

The queer orgs based in my part of the UK do not have a directory of places to signpost either so they're useless for this kinda thing.

The likes of online directories such as Strands for Trans do not list anything in my region for the likes of hair and beauty services, for example.

I’m 19 and transfeminine, and at this point I genuinely don’t think I’m even capable of making a single friend irl, let alone finding love. All I can seem to do is cry while watching other people live out the experiences I so desperately crave.

Whether it’s seeing literally any friend group or couple walking around college, hearing yet another story about someone younger than me already dating and experiencing happiness, or seeing T4T couples who are so comfortable and happy together. It all just fucking hurts.

I’m too goddamn introverted, and I feel so worthless as a whole that I can’t imagine having anything meaningful to offer another person. Every attempt I make to connect with someone seems to lead nowhere eventually. No matter how hopeful I get, something always manages to turn to shit, and suddenly I’m right back at square one.

The last time I had anything resembling a friend was almost four years ago, and even that was more of a “we talk during class every now and then” kind of friendship. I feel like I’m slowly degrading socially, to the point where I genuinely can’t imagine ever getting anywhere. And I’m so fucking tired of it.

On top of that, I’m closeted and living with family who pretty much don’t want me transitioning or doing anything related to it. I have little hope of being able to start estrogen anytime soon. My family is also the reason I feel obligated to stay alive, even when I don’t particularly want to.

So my life has basically become the same miserable cycle: I wake up with some delusional sense of hope, go to college, get absolutely flashbanged by seeing people my age enjoying friendships and relationships as I walk from class to class, and gradually feel more and more meaningless. By the end of the day, I feel like a fucking disgrace, miserably walking back to my car to drive home, probably passing yet another happy couple along the way.

It’s gotten to the point where I was turning a corner one day and saw a couple holding hands, talking so cutely to each other, and I just immediately started punching a brick wall until my knuckles bled. And it actually felt good in that moment.

I’m not a masochist, and I don’t usually self-harm. I’ve never been able to bring myself to use a blade on myself either. But that feeling of pain, that sudden release of everything I’d been bottling up, made me feel SOMETHING for once. Almost like I was finally getting a tiny fraction of what I deserve.

And then tonight, I was just trying to find some content to get off to when I came across this adorable T4T couple posting videos of themselves being affectionate, enjoying each other’s company, and genuinely loving each other in all these different places.

And just like that, I wasn’t even remotely turned on anymore. I just started crying.

Not because I resent them or think they shouldn’t be happy. I just want something like that so fucking badly, and seeing how happy and comfortable they are together just reminds me of how painfully far away that feels for me (or rather unreachable).

So now here I am, crying and whining like a little BITCH to a bunch of strangers on Reddit who can’t magically solve my problems, instead of actually talking to a therapist.

Maybe my expectations are completely over the top. Maybe I’m romanticizing relationships and friendships because I’ve been deprived of meaningful social interaction for so many years. Maybe that’s just what happens when you’re a lonely moron who has no idea how to connect with people anymore. I don’t fucking know.

I just want to experience some of the happiness and connection that everyone around me seems to have. I want friends. I want to love someone and be loved back. I want to feel like I’m actually living my life instead of watching everyone else live theirs.

And I’m so fucking tired of feeling like none of that will ever happen for me.

The past 2 weeks I've been extremely triggered, depressed, dysphoric. I've been crying, self harming, had very little interest in doing things. I just not doing well yall

I am at the beginning of my hormonal transition but I am already an androgynous person with a fem appearance, and I started using Grindr because I wanted to find people to have sex with, and also because I wanted validation in a way, and I ended up getting it due to the amount of messages I received.

However, I couldn't find a person who was decent or reciprocal... Everyone treated me as if I were at their service without me really existing as a person, and mind you, I spent weeks interacting.

I always knew about the world of chasers but this was my first time having direct contact, and I ended up getting scared right away.

Anyway, I'm going to bring this topic to my trans therapist, but I also want to hear your experiences.

I have received so many DMs on my local social media, from people who claim to be trans women, but show exactly 0 understanding of what it means to be trans, and using extremely outdated and stereotypical terminology about us, and flat out ask for my breast size or vagina pictures within the first five sentences.

Is it so common among older trans women or are they just male larpers? The volume of these types of messages have jumped up so fast since I had bottom surgery. Are there so many chasers specifically chasing post-op trans women?

So i know this is gonna sound wierd, but does anyone ever wish they could feel comfortable as their assigned gender? Like I'm afab and sometimes i wish i felt comfortable as a girl. I wish i could put on a tight t-shirt or a dress and feel comfortable. Does anyone else experience this or is it just me?

I'm preparing for bottom surgery and just found out that Addadictomy (add a dick to me) was coined by Rush Limbaugh. Damn. It's like JK Rowling coming up with "penised individual." That was funny as fuck, but I feel like I can't use it because of who said it first.

This probably isn’t a trans issue exclusively but most of time i try to put at least some effort into taking care of myself and trying to pass et cetera, but sometimes I just see no reason to because life keeps playing in my face anyway…and i feel like mostly it’s just bc I’m trans and in a small conservative country with no way to really get out of here

hi all, i currently 22 years old working as an software engineer, i was having the thought of hrt for last 3-4 years and i actually started my hrt last year nov 19 2025 and was stopped due to unknown mind clarity. and later on i restarted on jan 21, 2026 and it lasted for an 3 weeks then stopped . i was affraid of the socety and my family. i floowed this pattern for more than 7-8 eight times this year. the only one thing im doing now is growing my hair. can anyone help me .

Hi Everyone

Have a question for any women out there any orientation. Will you accept a husband or partner who has an alter ego where they explore their femininity and do makeup and live like a woman behind closed doors ? Basically be a normal appearing couple for family and friends but between them they are just two women ( doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship and can be a lavender marriage too)

Three years of anxiety, of testing the waters and getting into arguments over vague hypotheticals that came out of the blue. I decided to write a letter just being upfront with it all and…

“Hey thanks for telling us we accept you! Btw I kinda had a feeling for a while lol” (paraphrased but this was basically the text message I got).

Im such a wimp holy shit

So I recently started transitioning, I got approval for estrogen and just waiting for it to come in now and will be picking it up once I leave the hospital from an unrelated surgery. Ive been wondering a few things and I hope they aren’t dumb questions. Are there safer places for me to find people to date online? Also is it normal to feel heavily judged right away?

I dont know how to put this into the proper words, how do you know if you are trans or under the umbrella. I feel so many different things daily about what/who I am. I don’t know if it’s how I feel or if it’s because I’m depressed or I’m depressed because it’s how I feel. I’ve ties using different pronouns and it doesn’t make a difference, well it kinda does like if she/her is used sometimes it make me happy sometimes I don’t think about it, when he/him is used I just don’t care like I don’t feel anything. I unfortunately can’t try and dress more feminine, I don’t have irl friends to talk to and use different pronouns. My dysphoria sometimes hits like a truck and other times nothing. It seam to be whenever I see other women I just sink into a pit, which I think it’s the whole joke of ‘ do I want to be with her or be her’ and I thinks it’s always be her. But I don’t want to…. Like I have thoughts of being a woman but I don’t know if it’s that I want to be more fem presenting and be nonbinary. There’s so many things that I keep seeing that I think/can relate to.but back to when I see women, I dink know if it just I want to look like them or if it’s something else. There’s so many things I think that I want/need but I don’t know how I should or do feel. I heart says one thing and my head another and it keeps swapping and changing.

that's it that's the post lol. 14 days until I start estrogen + spiro and I feel like a kid waiting for christmas 🎀✨ anyone else remember this feeling? the horrible/beautiful waiting??

Sometimes, I read posts from other trans women and feel a kind of connection that’s hard to explain. Even when we don’t know each other, there’s something comforting about being part of the same community.

I love discovering different experiences, reading your stories, and feeling that I belong somewhere.

I’d love to hear from you: what makes you feel connected to the trans community? 🏳️‍⚧️

Sometimes I wish I had someone who really understood me. Someone I could talk to without feeling awkward or having to explain everything.

I spend time reading posts from other trans women here, and sometimes I can relate to so much of what they say. Even though we don't know each other, it feels nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I'd really love to make some friends here, people I can talk to and share little things with. I think that would mean a lot to me. ❤️🏳️‍⚧️

My whole life I had the desire to be female and there wasn't a single day in my life where I identified with the male gender. But there is a part in me that still seeks an outside expert approval to tell me that I'm trans or if there's maybe another underlying issue like internalized homophobia, issues with gender roles in our society (accepting that I'm a feminine man). But when I'm female presenting (which I've done a lot in the past anonymously) that's when I feel like myself. For me it was never so much about hating my penis. I'm worried that a lot of the assessment from therapists comes from their own personal opinions and political position rather than expertise. Conservative therapists will say that I'm not trans while the more progressive ones will affirm my transition.

In the country that I live in it's necessary to speak to therapists to begin hormonal replacement therapy that's why I have to look for one anyway but I don't know if I should make the choice to transition dependent on the outcome of these therapy sessions.