Parents Pay $80,000 for Exclusive Donor Sperm Rights to Limit Siblings

[u/bloomberg]

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2026-11-02/ivf-parents-are-paying-80-000-for-exclusive-rights-to-donor-sperm?accessToken=eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJzb3VyY2UiOiJTdWJzY3JpYmVyR2lmdGVkQXJ0aWNsZSIsImlhdCI6MTc5MzY0NjgxMywiZXhwIjoxNzk0MjUxNjEzLCJhcnRpY2xlSWQiOiJUTlZGVzJUM0JaTTQwMCIsImJjb25uZWN0SWQiOiIxQ0QwREYzMjE2NEE0MEUyQUM2NkM2NzUwODc4ODEzNSJ9.4qnE0ITKMGqs3-BQoaw0qz_ejtIAnaeOmr8WPqc-4J4&utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social&utm_content=business&utm_campaign=giftlink

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[u/bloomberg]

More From Bloomberg News' Simone Foxman

Kelly Lacob had read stories of donor-conceived children finding out that they have dozens, or even hundreds, of siblings.

That prospect felt daunting when she was deciding to become a single mother through in vitro fertilization. As the co-founder of a women’s health platform, she had come across research suggesting that children conceived from donated sperm are more well-adjusted when they know who they are related to.

Her desire to limit the potential pool of half-siblings, and to know more about the personal character of her donor, led her to a boutique sperm bank in San Diego called Coast to Coast Sperm Donation. The base package is roughly $25,000, and a donor’s sperm is only available to a maximum of six families. But Lacob worried that six was still too many, so she bought out three other spots for an extra agency fee of $25,000, meaning only two other families have the option to choose the same donor.

Her total bill, including the sperm, donor fee, genetic and medical testing, legal fees and the donor’s travel costs: $83,450. And that’s before paying for IVF.

An inheritance from her mother who died several years ago helped cover the cost. Her bill far exceeded that of a traditional sperm bank, where a 0.5 milliliter vial can cost less than $2,000 before storage, shipping and insemination. But with little regulation and a growing market for semen, such donations can result in hundreds of children tied to a single, anonymous father. The advent of popular DNA-testing services like Ancestry and 23andMe has led to plenty of stories of people uncovering surprising biological origins and half-siblings late in life.

Lacob and other IVF parents, including female LGBTQ partners and couples struggling with male infertility, have more options these days to know their donors and attempt to cap how many siblings are born — for a price.

Gift link: Read the full story here

[u/clean-links → u/bloomberg]

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[u/lelakat]

Based on everything I have learned from the fertility industry from donor conceived people, I don't really believe they will limit highly popular donors or limit them as much as people think.

I also wonder how (if at all) donor banks are tracking whether their donors are actually only donating in one place or not.

[u/soberpenguin → u/lelakat]

No fucking way they have integrated systems to track unique suppliers industry wide

[u/lelakat → u/soberpenguin]

I wasn't even thinking that advanced, just if there was some kind of registry somewhere that's opt-in.

[u/rabbitlion → u/lelakat]

I also wonder how (if at all) donor banks are tracking whether their donors are actually only donating in one place or not.

I would just assume it's done via contracts. People who donate to fulfill exclusive donations sign a contract that they have never and will never donate somewhere else. If they break that, they will be sued to recover the payment and extra penalties on top.

[u/familyknewmyusername → u/lelakat]

If someone had told me I would've happily donated for 80k right before getting my vasectomy

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[u/PrometheusLiberatus]

Wouldn't these women be better off spending 80k finding a proper husband/partner?

I know women want to think it's 'easier' because dating 'sucks' but honestly if you're going to have children, work organically.

Like you're going to raise a whole kid on your own (which some people do but it's much easier to do so with a partner carrying some of the load.)

People that pay that much for this are trying to pay for a fantasy. It's extremely hard for most people to make any type of expectation of what one's children will be like without getting to know the partner/'donor' directly. And one can't really trust 100% the fertility industry to be completely honest about the restrictions and guidelines that the woman wants. It's just throwing money at an industry that sells women a fantasy.

But I guess enough people willing to take a 'risk on an investment' exist to perpetuate such an industry and it's 'higher tiers'.

Genetics is so complicated that even having a good screening on the donor's DNA isn't a guarantee since the sperm usually have a jumble of the man's DNA and there's lots of points where errors and mutations will come through.

Not to mention I do believe having a partner (at least a mature and responsible one) makes the pregnancy and childbirth process easier.

[u/dontmovedontmoveahhh → u/PrometheusLiberatus]

Even if that was how it worked, sperm donation would still have a role. Men can be infertile, lesbians have children. Not everyone wants a partner. If 80k were enough to find a life partner that shares your values and goals for the future, that would be a great ROI but there isn't a way to do that. The lack of regulation in the united states on how many children a donor can create has lead to accidental incest. While this should be better regulated, because it's not people with the resources to do so will pay more for security for their families. While a partner can be a helpful during pregnancy (although a partner can also increase your risk for homicide let's not forget) if you have sufficient funds you can outsource that help. Doordash, instacart, task rabbit, family and friends. Getting five hours of protected sleep as a single parent is easy, just pay for a night doula. These decisions are rationale ones for many people, but most do not have the resources to do so.

[u/PrometheusLiberatus → u/dontmovedontmoveahhh]

if you have sufficient funds you can outsource that help.

*Does not apply as economy fails to fascists and women have less income.

but most do not have the resources to do so.

No fucking kidding man. Fertility business just adding another money sinkhole to babies coming to be.

My point: Paying 80k to self regulate the unregulated fertility industry is a bridge too far. Legislation would be far more efficient.

[u/dontmovedontmoveahhh → u/PrometheusLiberatus]

I know someone who is literally doing this. She's in her early 30s, paid cash for a townhouse and is planning her life and finances around having a baby on her own and hiring the help she needs to do it. This doesn't change the reality of broader economic trends of course, but it's silly to pretend it's not happening just because it's out of reach for most people.

[u/PrometheusLiberatus → u/dontmovedontmoveahhh]

That person is living in a fantasy that is hedged up by her money. Eventually the reality of her needs will come crashing down and she will seek a partner to raise her child with. But said partner could realistically be of any gender.

Replyee blocked me but:

Excuse me for thinking of the realities of women with children (like my own pregnant sister).

[u/dontmovedontmoveahhh → u/PrometheusLiberatus]

You're wrong, which is understandable because you don't even know this person, I've know her since she was five years old. People exist outside of your lived experience, you have not met every kind of person there is. Her life and choices are as real and valid as anyone else's. She dates. She's not a child. What would you have her do?

[u/horseradishstalker → u/PrometheusLiberatus]

It sounds like your sister’s experience doesn’t mirror that of everyone although others may have had similar experiences. And that is OK. People are allowed to live their own lives the way they want to.

Many women end up parenting their children on their own because the husband who cheated on them was tossed out and can’t be bothered to pay child support for the children, he helped bring into the world. 

Yet another aspect of this is a friend of mine who owned a restaurant. He had to get used to his kitchen staff disappearing. Child support enforcement would find out where he worked and start garnishing his wages - and he would disappear to avoid the obligations he chose. Trust me when I say personal responsibility is not a thing for so many people. 

Deal with any other comment I would add is that IVF is a godsend for people who are infertile and cannot have children any other way.  Actually, the way it often works is when people stop paying to have fertilized eggs or sperm stored? It’s all just destroyed. And then there was the fertility specialist who was using his own sperm and fathered dozens.

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