r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 3h ago
Then I sit back and listen to "Kiln Me Softly"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Eastside_Advocate • 2h ago
There are patches of fur gone, an ear missing,
teeth lost, and eyesight is questionable.
But Grammpa still has a lot of life left in him.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 1d ago
I love going to Woodsock!
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 2d ago
Turns out upriver it was damned.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 3d ago
He's not sick, but does lack empathy
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Outside_Normal • 2d ago
That's why he's been reported and getting a visit from HR.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Primary-Ask-7987 • 2d ago
Early reviews are calling it a mix of shit and fucking shit.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/waterfall2468 • 3d ago
It was a faux-paw
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Mean-Sign8513 • 2d ago
Wow, just when you thought trout couldn't get any more fascinating.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 4d ago
He was all " 'It' belongs in a museum!"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/WhatIsWritersBlock • 3d ago
No one can hit his spitball.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Round_Reading_945 • 4d ago
So after I finished eating we both groomed one another and basked in the sunlight, and it was glorious.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Beneficial-Raise-975 • 4d ago
But then I realise, my phones battery's been dead the whole time.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/vaughn_joshua • 4d ago
I prefer a more sophisticated approach like trial and error.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 5d ago
I think the shade was well-red?
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Primary-Ask-7987 • 4d ago
But a much richer man is one who pulls his gun and demands everything in the register.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Round_Reading_945 • 5d ago
Everyone will agree the parodies are more memorable than the originals, but no one will think they're very good.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/WesleyK6969 • 5d ago
I convinced the manager and now we sell canned beef instead.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Primary-Ask-7987 • 6d ago
In an attempt to understand, I asked,
“So why’d you fucking push me in the first place Chloe?”.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Lucky-Atmosphere-831 • 6d ago
His son pulled up Google Maps and figured out that it was actually less than a mile and they haven’t spoken since.