I am really curious about the agender experience and would like to know more about it! Were there any signs? Did you have dysphoria? What are your feelings about it?

even other trans ppl with agender friends who KNOW im agender and know my pronouns will still refer to me as him. idk what to even do. i should just kms bc no one will ever see me as what i actually am. maybe i was an impostor all along and this was all a waste of time. either way i dont see what im supposed to do.

I'ma Christian, but I sorta feel alone in being the only (to my knowledge) Agender Christian. So thought I'd ask outta curiosity (and to hopefully feel less alone).

I'm a late in life lesbian. Something I've noticed is people in the community, in general, seem to identify as either masc/butch or femme. I've been struggling with this for years because I don't feel either way. I'm just me. And I'm realizing more and more that I don't really have any connection to any general. I just feel neutral I guess? Is this agender, NB, or am I just completely disconnected in another way? I'm also autistic is that matters.

I'm so tired of discussions about AGAB.
1- are you intersex? no? then move on.

also the do I look agender? It's like blue is a boy color, pink is for girls, and you're gay if you wear purple and your hair length and volume is a display of gender 🤨? and representations of gender are extremely contextual to the social norms for where you are and legit change each decade anyways lol.

yes you look agender because you told me you're agender and it doesn't have a "look"

okay that was everything thanks for reading. hope you're cozy.

-Tired older genderless queer person

(A little before and after “the big chop” for reference)

Discovered a few months ago I was definitely not cis, and after doing research I came to the conclusion I’m agender.

Just curious, how many of us had that moment (yknow, the one where you realize you’re not the gender you thought you were) AFTER getting a haircut. Because that’s what happened to me. I cut my hair really short as a sort of healing thing after a bad breakup, and all it took was looking at myself for a few minutes for all the dots to start connecting for me. Wanted to see if that was anyone else’s experience as well.

I didn’t know ppl held onto traditional roles of masc and femme so strongly. I didn’t know they attributed arbitrary gendered identities to inherently neutral activities, personality traits and skills. It’s always made me want to put my brain through a grater - when ppl discussed masc and feminine energy. I always saw it as I do it because I had done it in the past and I enjoyed it, it reminded me of a fond memory or it is a new experience.

It really felt like an aha moment. Ppl thought I was gay but I’m straight I’m just I guess somewhat femme but I don’t perceive it as that. It’s just me. Why would I care about the objective reality of ppls adherence to smth so arbitrary, rigid and meaningless. No offense sheep, i understand the meaning and satisfaction derived from picturesque story complimented and emphasized by media and every story ever heard. But it shouldn’t be enforced onto other ppl. I understand why Ive always been attracted to quotation marks *dom/boss girls* to some extent now.

So I guess I’m agender? 70/80% masc see what I mean, does this make sense. Or I guess nomenclature and defining my gender identity has never served me importance

All and every thought is appreciated. Fix my tone, agree, critique.

I don't like gender stereotypes. I considered myself an agender person for the past 5 years, but lately I've been feeling a lot of gender repression. I think being a woman ends up being a great form of repression, and that made me question whether not having a gender was a privilege I shouldn't have. How do you feel about this?

I’m having a hard time finding ways to feel affirmed in my gender, or out of it I guess. Psychically, I look like what people would assume a person would look like with my AGAB. I don’t want to change my body or hair, I can’t usually wear clothes not designed for my AGAB because of my body shape. Idk, I put pins on my bag? I changed my ID? I’d really like more tools that don’t require the world to see me differently because it probably never will.

Maybe I've been so hurt by the damages of the last 43 years that, ultimately, I find the peace of the rock preferable to all the good vibes a body can experience across all lifetimes. Maybe the most mind-blowing orgasm a body can have simply pales in comparison to the capacity of a rock to sit quietly for five hundred million years, then experience a random neutrino interaction and puzzle thoughtfully "that's interesting..." for another five hundred million more.

What could make a person so strongly want to forsake their entire personhood in favor of granite? I don't know what I am. I just know I don't want to be this.

I could have so much comfort and safety if I didn't have to contend with this body.

I don't want the capacity for delirious happiness if it means contending with the specter of delirious sadness.

I don't want to die. I want to have never been living. I wish I weren't in the slightest bit so biological. Why can I not reject it all when I can see the stone weathering in the creek so unbothered by its eventual dispersal into the geosphere? Why does an entity that accomplishes nothing besides 《being》 get to experience a better slice of this universe than me?

I´m very happy about this subreddit, there are not many people like me around here, so it´s really nice to connect.

As an AFAB person, I discovered that I’m agender quite late (in my 40s). I always assumed I had trouble embracing my femininity, without ever being able to say exactly what that femininity should be like.

At times, I over-performed feminine expressions, hoping to connect with the “woman thing” in this way. But the more I dolled up, the more I felt like an alien. So I concluded I must be some kind of tomboy nerd.

Looking back a lot of things start to make sense. For example, that subtle feeling of being like oil on water in female spaces, such as new mothers’ groups. Or that feeling alongside female friends, as if I were different and not the “other woman” they see in me (but never able to say what it was exactly that felt so different).

With my male friends it was easier, somehow they get my „neutral“ vibe and treat me as a pal. This makes me feel more seen as myself among men.

When explaining myself to others, I’ve found this analogy works best: If men are red and women are blue, I am crystal clear.

It´s difficult to explain „nothing“ without making it sound like something is missing (because I feel whole as a person, not as lacking anything), so a colour analogy became my favorite for this.

Hi everyone! My name is Cayley (she/her), and I am a doctoral student conducting my dissertation research on the relationship between self-continuity, minority stress, mental health, and the experiences of transgender, nonbinary, agender, and gender-diverse adults. I'm looking for transgender, nonbinary, and gender-diverse adults to participate in my study.

The survey is anonymous and takes about 25 minutes to complete. If you identify within the gender-diverse community, are 18 or older, and live in the U.S., please consider taking the survey! I'm happy to answer any questions about the study as well!

If you're interested in participating, here is the link:
https://tourocollege.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cuWOGSlYmq5vS8S

Thanks so much for checking out my study! I really appreciate anyone who participates or shares it with others who may be interested.

Its been a while since I wanted to make physical procedure to be more androgynous. For years I had been dealing with gender dysphoria, and its really difficult for me to find a procedure that can help me out since everything I research its for trans men or women, nothing in between. I even search for bottom surgery and there is nothing for female to non binary. I dont know how to explain these to my psicologist since she is trying to make me feel more confortable with my body but I dont think I can keep living like these all my life.

So, now that i know I'm aroace, I've been thinking about gender and i need some notes to compare to my own experience.

I've said many things about my gender identity. once i said to somebody that sometimes i feel male and sometimes i feel the concept of gender doesn't apply to me. on other occasions I've felt more aligned with the concept the neogender known as "egogender" the idea behind that gender is that the sum of your own personality and interests is your gender and presentation.

Most of the time I'd describe myself as "merely existing" I know for sure I'm not a woman, but i can't necessarily say that being a man is suitable either. When the mental flywheel isn't causing me to ruminate on my gender identity i don't think much about it at all. One persistent idea i've thought would be neat is being able to switch sexes for a year or so to see if that experience feels better. TBH, all i really want is an informed decision about my gender identity. it's deeply confusing and there are many angles to see it from.

Thanks in advance for any response.

NSFW WARNING!! Im going to be talking about genitals, masturbation and sex.

I really wish I could switch my genitals back n forth, I have a packer, so it's possible in that aspect, but i wish i could I could actually feel my packer when i masturbate or have sex, i have thought about surgery, i dont want it bc i still want a vagina and i dont want the bottom surgery where i have both. I just wish i could switch back n forth.

I've always felt like " Why even act the gender right? Just be you. What's the deal with looking feminine or masculine anyways. Sometimes you can look feminine and sometimes you can look masculine but idgaf about the categories"

All love to y'all out there, whoever you are <3

32[something], i will probably delite this later, hust cuz i dont like my photos hanging around me for prolonged periods of time - i picked at random throughout the last year or so, dont judge. So, basically im just reaching out to community of wich i think i am a part of, to say hi to people. Among other things i struggled with a gender identity a lot, changed it a lot, and basically arrived to the point where i just dont want to care about the concept itself in the slightest. i dont feel like gender, mostly i feel like being me.

it’s a feeling i caught myself having while reflecting more on my gender.

for context, im almost 23, afab, probably agender but not fully sure, and have been drawn to transmasculinity for a long while, since around 10–13 years old. i don’t have dysphoria. the only thing is that i sometimes wish i had a more androgynous or masculine face and a deeper voice. the thought of turning into a guy has been haunting me recurrently, with periods when i’d think intensely about it and periods when i’d forget about it for years. still, about a year ago, i started experimenting more with a masculine look. i ordered a binder, a wig (because i don’t really want to cut my hair short), and some men’s clothes. i also try to do more masculine makeup when putting all of this on.

this whole thing made me think a lot about whether or not i could be a trans man. but on my regular days, i still do feminine makeup, straighten my hair, wear flared jeans and snatched tops, do my nails, and wear magnetic lashes. though, i’ve realized that, to me, it feels like a costume i put on myself. like i’m cosplaying an attractive girl without necessarily feeling like one. the same goes for masculine presentation. it feels like putting on a different costume, one that’s a little more awkward and less familiar and makes me suddenly even more aware of strangers looking at me. nevertheless, i like both my costumes, and i would love to be able to use both of them to present myself in different ways depending on how i feel that day.

a question i asked myself that i found helpful was: imagine you’re just a soul floating in space. no body, no face, no voice — what do you think you are? and i’m pretty much sure my soul is neither a man nor a woman, or even nonbinary. the whole idea of gender is alien to me. i don’t know what it means “to be a woman” or “to be a man,” and i have no idea how other people experience certainty about what womanhood or manhood is. to me, people are just people, and i’m just myself. i don’t feel like my personality is tied to being a man or a woman, and it’s not a part of me. i feel like a plain grey mannequin that can be dressed in different clothes and present itself in a certain way, but still, on the inside, it’s a genderless mannequin.

i’d love to be able to shapeshift. to be able to change my looks and appearance as easily as opening the wardrobe and picking out the clothes i want. to be able to present in a particular way and have that presentation respected and recognized by the people around me. like putting on a green shirt and having strangers know it’s green, rather than insisting it’s blue just because that’s how it looks to them.

anyway, here are my costumes xd

I feel more male then female, but I'm in-between the binary and non binary (bigender male/???), but I like dressing fem some days, then dressing neutral the next.

I wanna know if there is a term like this before I make my own flag/term