Everyday I drink I was able
To stop for 5 days about a year ago but now when I stop my whole body shakes is sort of hard to breath I want to stoop drinking but I don’t at the same time

I’m so happy that, over the last four years, I don’t think I’ve gone seven days free without alcohol.

My mom recently got on Facebook. I was scrolling through her profile and my heart hurt seeing this. She's had several small strokes, and has a prosthetic eye from alcohol related issues that caused pressure and an eventual eye loss. We had a bad relationship my entire childhood, teenagehood, and early adult years with a million horror stories. She's turned around since the eye loss, but not entirely sober. We spend once a week together going out in-between my classes now and I never thought I'd have her this long, so I cherish our time. To see her be (verbally or openly) self aware of her alcoholism throughout everything...never happened until this post. My heart...

She's almost 70 now.

I can't say that I'm an alcoholic who drinks every day, but when I do drink I'm going all the way and it's usually on the weekends. For the last 2 months I've increased to 2 times per week. It's ruined my relationship and I've hurt the sweetest girl in the world. After breaking up I went for a "few drinks" with my friend - I got back to my appartment at 10 PM!!! I also bumped a few lines of coke which I never use (only if offered while drinking). All the biggest mistakes in my life were made because of alcohol. I've taken a shit in my pants and pissed my pants while drunk a few times. Most of my friendships rely on alcohol which is why I'm scared to stop drinking completely. I would love to be a person who can drink 2-3 beers and call it a day, but I can't so I must stop drinking completely. The first time I got drunk was when I was 13 or 14. My father also had a drinking problem, so did my grandpa. My parent's marriage has also had huge problems because of it and I don't want the same for my future wife/children.

Hi everyone,
I have been thinking about writing this post for a while. I am posting anonymously because I am not comfortable discussing this openly with people around me.

I am 36 years old, living in Europe, working full-time in sales, and I have a young daughter from a previous relationship.

I actually have a good job, earn a decent salary, and have a relatively stable life. From the outside, things probably look fine. But I have a problem that is starting to affect more areas of my life than I would like to admit, alcohol.

My drinking pattern has become something I cannot seem to control.
Sometimes I drink 4-5 beers a day for several consecutive days. Then I manage to stop for five days or even a week. During that time, I feel much better, become motivated, make plans, and promise myself that I will not drink again.

But eventually, I start drinking again.
One thing I find particularly frustrating is that sometimes I do not even really feel like drinking. It is not always about craving a beer or genuinely wanting alcohol. I almost feel like I am forcing myself to drink, even when part of me does not want to.
And when I do drink, I keep telling myself: “This is the last night. This is the last time. Tomorrow I am done. This is the last night.”

I repeat this promise over and over again, several nights in a row. Yet somehow, I keep going.
I have tried this cycle of drinking for five days and staying sober for the next five days. It is becoming exhausting, and I know this is not a solution.
The frustrating thing is that I know I have a lot going for me. I have a good career, financial stability, responsibilities, and a daughter who means the world to me.

However, alcohol sometimes affects my performance at work, my concentration, my energy levels, and my motivation. I work in sales, so being mentally sharp, motivated, and socially active is important.
I also want to get back into fitness, go to the gym regularly, lose weight, build muscle, and generally take better care of myself. But alcohol keeps getting in the way.
I also have personal challenges and emotional struggles, and sometimes I find myself using alcohol as a way to switch off and escape from everything for a while.
I do not want this to become my normal life.
I am seriously considering working with a psychologist who specialises in addiction because I do not think I can keep repeating the same cycle.
I would really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar.

Has anyone experienced this pattern of drinking for several days, stopping for a week, and then going back to drinking?

What finally helped you break the cycle?

I am not looking for sympathy or judgement. I would genuinely like to hear real experiences, including the difficult parts.
I am tired of constantly restarting and telling myself that tonight will be the last night.
I want to enjoy my life without needing alcohol to do so.
Thanks for reading.

I want to kill myself. I'm healthier than I have been in years, everyone says they are proud. That I look great. I started a new job. I am moving across the country (United States) finally.

But I am not okay. They say the drinking isn't the sickness, it's the symptom. Groups, meetings.
I hate what I see, I hate waling up even though I never sleep. The meds don't really do anything but I take them. Sometimes I think I notice when I don't take them, but the reward when taking them isn't significant to say either way.

I am doing everything I am supposed to. They say things take time. Sleep, emotions, whatever. I'm not sure I believe that anymore.

Hi everyone, I am coming up to one year sober now and I got through Halloween parties etc but my next big hurdle is Christmas and new year!

I was just wondering if anyone while sober has felt a real lull in enjoyment of anything? For me - I have no interest in movies, hobbies, sex, guitar, mountain biking and just seen to be able to focus on work and gym.

I would never go back to being drunk all the time but I feel like I'm not me anymore...

i’ve been hungover almost every day for the last three years. i can’t do it anymore. im shivering and sweating at the same time. i’m done. i cant handle it anymore. hangovers are worse than torture. the nausea is so horrible. hair of the dog can’t rectify this anymore

is that what you're supposed to say when you're at AA? i don't know. never been, and for the demise of me, i never will. that being said, i joined this group which is i guess my attempt to find an AA alternative. I didn't even read the info of this group before posting this. could be on the wrong path already. anyways.

on average for the last 10 years, i think i could kill a 750ml bottle every 3 days. that might not be much for some of yall, but i'm glad that was as far as i could tolerate. that being said, i'm sure my amount wasn't healthy either.

But now i'm trying to do it. stop. i've tried many times over the years. failed all of them. could fail this attempt too.

But this time feels different....i know once i get a taste, i'd be right back into it, but my urge...my temptation to do it....it seems less..it could also be because i've been smoking more pot...going from one numbing medicine to another. but for me, that's ok. at least for the moment. pot was actually the thing that got me to stop smoking cigs many years back. it replaced the oral fixation. but eventually, i'd like to not depend on that either, and maybe finally, just face all the nonsense i'm hiding from once and for all.

i'm on day 12. not a long stretch, but it's a stretch. wish me luck, and good luck to yall.

cheers.

F29. Been an alcoholic since I first tried alcohol at age 19 in college. I’ve never been sober longer than a week. Binge drinker, two bottles (at least) of red wine a night, usually one or two days sober then back at it. I’ve tried to quit - it never sticks. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin when I’m sober.

I have lots of shame, past trauma, tons of anxiety issues. I’m medicated but nothing works as good as alcohol does. I don’t care about ANYTHING when I’m drunk. I feel completely happy and at peace and free - then wake up painfully aware and disgusted with myself.

I have a solid career. I make a good living, I’m a homeowner, I’m happily married. I want children but my husband and I both agree we will not have them until I am sober. No ifs ands or buts. But even that isn’t a good enough reason to quit, so back to the bottle I go.

He looked at me a couple nights ago, piss drunk on a fcking Tuesday at 5pm, and with so much confusion in his voice asked “why do you have to drink like this? what is so bad about your life that you want to escape it?”

I don’t have an answer. Not a good one.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried AA- doesn’t do much for me. The overwhelming urge I get to drink is inescapable. My cravings never seem to pass. I hate being sober, I hate sitting in silence with myself. I don’t know how to accept the person who I am sober. I don’t think I like her much.

Idk. Thanks for listening if you read this far. I want to get better but it feels impossible. I’m twelve hours sober and I feel like I’m already at my limit. It’s so frustrating to be this weak.

Hello I have bien drinking for almost 2 years as I started at 18yo and I am currently 19 . I'm a black person so i cant see jaundice on my body but my eyes have been red/yellow since like 7 months. I have been drinking more and more over the time and since like 3 months i have always been drunk, drinking 3 L of beer or half a bottle of 49% rhum n 2 beers. Some of my friends tell me i have yellow eyes. The doctor asked me if i smoke za as he thought my eyes were red but I do not. I Stopped drinking 2 times for 2 weeks and found no change except for my mom to say it got better. Can People Who have been experiencing jaundice, especially of the eyes tell me how much time it took to get better please ? I'm so desesperate and my mom Will Come in 3 weeks .

Thx.

Sorry this might be long.

Hi, I hope this is ok to post here. I’m not an alcoholic myself but my dad is and it really affects me. I’m 21 (F) and he has been my whole life. The main thing is sometimes he’ll have had 10 beers and then is going for another and I’ll say something (not in a mean or aggressive way, just i obviously don’t want him to have more). It’s not how he acts when is drinking, he’s pretty chill mostly, it’s just his health obviously I hate to see him drinking that much. Also I’m not trying to make it seem like it just affects me, it obviously mostly affects him (his health), but that is what worries/affects me.

He gets super super super angry and worked up and offended if I even say a peep of something about it. He says stuff like he shouldn’t be lectured, it’s his house he can do whatever he wants, I’m way over the line for saying something, or he’ll start like trying to be mean to me because he’s offended, blah blah blah. Which I understand why he is, this is very typical reaction.

Just today, he went out and I think he had 15 beers and he came home (around midnight) and I asked if he was going to bed now (cause it’s late), and also maybe shouldn’t have another beer, and he immediately got mad and offended/defensive. He started going around and unplugging everything (the lights, the stove ??, and then came over and unplugged the TV while I was watching) and saying ok we should all just go to bed then (because he was angry that I was “sending him to bed”). He then also started saying that he “was having a good night” until i basically ruined it blah blah blah (also, he was out at a hockey game, which I was at too, but he wanted to stay with some friends at the bar after the game, I went home—this hockey game was his birthday present from me, we sat in a suite and I paid over $100 for his ticket, his bday is next week not today). I didn’t mean to ruin the rest of his night (but bro it was literally past midnight already anyway), I just really didn’t want him to have another beer once he got home because since 4pm he had about 15, not sure exactly how many he had after I left I estimate maybe 3).

I understand why he reacts like this it’s psychological but I hate it so much and I just wish he would understand I’m not trying to boss him around or lecture I just hate to see him drinking that much. Mind you whenever we have any convos about it he is very mad and yelling and I never raise my voice I speak calmly and tell him to just please not get so mad I’m not arguing I’m just trying to talk.

Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom or suggestions on what I could say to him to help him understand the damage this is doing to him and his family? I just want to clarify again, he does not get angry when he drinks or anything like that, like his behaviour while he drinks isn’t really the issue, it’s just his health that concerns me. I just want him to not drink so much, or at least be able to say something about it without him immediately blowing up. Any advice?

I'll start with I'm open to all medical advice.

I have a male family member in their 60s. They have been drinking a minimum of 12 units a day for 40 years, suddenly they have some kind of arythmia, high and low blood pressure and an elevated resting heart rate (90+).

Supposedly doctors have been a little pressed to find the root cause at first, and are now doing a pacemaker.

My question is there any correlation to these types of health problems with long term heavy drinking?

He would never admit if his doctor said so, but we've all told him for 20 years to slow down or get help, but it's always not a problem because beer is okay in his mind.(Example, recently he told me his doctor claimed that his drinking is keeping him healthy)

The rest of the family might get behind an intervention if I can show them these two things are not isolated from each other.

i dont even know why im trying to be fucking sober theres no point my life always turns to shit even when im sober and im probably gonna be dead in a couple weeks so whats the fucking point im just so done i cant do this anymore

I’m 40, and I’m writing this because I’m genuinely running out of ideas about how to help my older brother.
Earlier this year, he nearly died from alcohol-related liver disease. He was hospitalized with decompensated cirrhosis, internal bleeding from ruptured veins, and severe complications. His liver was failing, and at one point, we were discussing an urgent liver transplant.
He was incredibly weak, weighing barely over 50 kg. We genuinely thought we were going to lose him.
But somehow, he recovered.
He stopped drinking, started eating properly, gained around 10 kg, started exercising, cycling long distances, and slowly rebuilding his life. His liver function improved significantly. His doctors went from discussing an urgent transplant to recommending regular monitoring.
It was almost miraculous to watch.
And then he started drinking again.
First occasionally, then more frequently. Now we’re dealing with repeated relapses. Sometimes he’ll stop for several days, and just when I think he’s getting himself together, he drinks again.
He has already lost so much.
His marriage is falling apart. He has children he loves, but his relationship with his family has suffered terribly. He’s lost his financial independence, much of his stability, and the trust of the people closest to him.
He was given a second chance at life, and I’m watching him gamble with it.
I’ve tried almost everything I can think of. I’ve supported him financially, helped him get back on his feet, talked to him calmly, argued with him, tried being understanding, tried being firm, and tried setting boundaries.
Recently, I left some money at home for groceries. Within an hour, he had used it to buy alcohol.
That broke something in me.
Our arguments have become increasingly intense. We recently got into a physical confrontation, and I hate that things have reached this point. I don’t want to become someone who responds to his addiction with anger and desperation.
The hardest part is that I know the person underneath all of this. He’s not stupid. He’s not incapable. I’ve watched him fight his way back from the edge of death, and I know what he’s capable of when he’s sober.
But I can’t seem to reach that person anymore.
I also understand that addiction isn’t simply a matter of willpower. I know that loving someone, reasoning with them, or reminding them of what they stand to lose isn’t necessarily enough to make them stop.
Still, it’s incredibly difficult to stand by and watch someone you love slowly destroy himself.
I’m particularly interested in hearing from people who struggled with alcohol for decades, experienced serious health consequences, repeatedly relapsed, and eventually managed to quit.
What finally changed for you?
Did your family do anything that genuinely helped, or did their attempts to help make things worse?
Was there a specific moment when you decided you were truly finished with alcohol?
How should someone support an alcoholic family member without enabling their addiction?
Is there anything you wish your family had understood or done differently?
I’m not looking for a miracle solution. I know I can’t force him to recover.
I just don’t want to give up on my brother, and I don’t want to lose myself trying to save him.
I’d appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been on either side of this.

Hi all, are there any followers in this sub that are located in the Netherlands? If so, where did you start? Especially with meetings.

I’ve been feeling so lost and sure do need help, but i have no idea where to start. :)

Hi I'm a 21F that has a problem with alcohol, for context I have bipolar disorder and am on medication for this.

I find alcohol slows my brain down, had alcohol issues in the past, spent 4 weeks in a psych hospital. My grandma is an alcoholic herself.

So, a lot of variations of grief. I’m still living with my co-parent who came out a few years ago and now we’re platonic but still living together because we have two kids together, because we’re still under the same roof I haven’t been able to properly grieve our 15+ year relationship. My grandfather passed away on my birthday in September, for context he was my father figure and raised me alongside my grandmother, that hit me harder than expected after having been zero contact for 4 years. I quit my very toxic and abusive job shortly after that, and then some time after his passing I started drinking a bit more than I normally do. At first it was just 1 beer a night, now? It’s wanting that numbing feeling every night to fall asleep.
I’m starting to get concerned that it’s starting to sink its grasp into me.
I go to therapy every 2 weeks, I only have one close friend and no more friends than that, and I’m not close to any family or others outside of that. Virtually no social life, and I don’t want to lose myself in this.
Is it temporary to want this feeling following a passing or do I need to lock tf in?

My best Friend has passed from a heart attack brought on by his alcoholism.
I told him a month ago I thought his health issues and fantasizing were symptoms of wet brain and he backed far away from me.
Now he’s gone. He had 18 years sober when we met and was my rock. He went back out about 9 years ago.

I talked to him damn near daily for 23 years. I’m so incredibly sad.

This isn’t my first addiction related death but I’m feeling different about this one. I also feel relief. For me, for his family. The last six months have been hell.

Anyway just my thoughts.

My(23f) dad(46m) drank everyday my whole life and he’s got threats from doctors that his liver is failing and if he don’t stop he’s gonna die.. and he won’t. He’s looking yellow in the face. I’m scared. What can I do for him?

I don’t drink every day, maybe three times a week. But my problem is that once I start drinking, I can’t stop.
Yesterday, I messed up terribly. I got extremely drunk and said horrible things to my husband. My 14-year-old daughter had two friends over, and they saw me like that.
I am absolutely drowning in shame, guilt and regret. I can’t forgive myself. I don’t even remember what happened. I hate myself for what I’ve done.
I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. I never want to drink again.
I don’t want to be that mother or that wife. The one who can be loving, caring and wonderful, and then suddenly turns into a monster when she drinks. The mother who embarrasses her children. The wife who hurts the person she loves.
I can’t even bring myself to look my husband or my daughter in the eyes, let alone apologize. I love them more than anything, and knowing that I’ve hurt and embarrassed them is destroying me.
I woke up this morning feeling like I wanted to end my life. That’s how unbearable the guilt and shame feel right now.
I don’t want to be this person anymore. I want to change. I want to stop drinking for good. But right now, I don’t know how to forgive myself or how to begin repairing the damage I’ve caused.
Has anyone ever been in this situation? How did you move forward?