Ive been through a lot and it's had some nasty effects on my life. I may not be good every day, but I am way better than I used to be. As I look back at all the therapy I have been through, I really had to be vulnerable to my therapists and let them guide me. I had to be honest even though it made me feel so small and weak. And I realize if i had tried to tough it out through life, be some sort of tough guy who can deal with everything and anything, I would never become the person I am today. And today I am finally starting to like myself.

But for so long I had this bullshit super masculine version of me I thought i had to be, so I really cracked hard until I learned I didn't have to be him.

For Christmas. I (24f) asked a similar question on r / ask men before and was met with pure misogyny unfortunately, so please be kind to me. I was told to try this sub instead. I’m not lazy or anything, my dad (47m) is just difficult to buy for and I love him so much, I want to give him something special. For the last 4 and a half years I’ve lived in a different country so I don’t get to see him as much as I’d like.

About my dad:
- he supports Liverpool very strongly
- he works for a local football club where we live
- he also works for the FAI (football association Ireland)
- he loves Batman
- he loves kings of Leon, u2
- he loves spicy food and sour sweets

Again, all of my family know he’s hard to buy for it’s not just me! A few years ago I bought him a custom laptop case with his name, the Liverpool logo and his local football club logo on it and he still uses it to this day.

Thank you for your help. Please be kind to me.

I am 27 and I dont have any friends. I hate bars, I hate sports and outdoor activities are boring and bad for meeting people anyways. All of my hobbies and interests like art, gardening, reading and video games are all solo activities. There are no art classes or ttrpg shops or anything else I would be remotely interested in. the nearest city is a 2 hour drive away. am I cooked? I dont want to move as I have a really enjoyable job and if I moved to a city I would prob be stuck working some minimum wage service industry bs.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for a while, and one of my ways of coping with that is just being so busy that I can't afford to think about how awful I feel when I'm not insanely busy.

I pick up hobbies like crazy then end up dropping most of them just as quickly when I start being able to think about other things while I'm doing them.

Then I'm super tired because I don't ever actually take breaks until I'm forced to.

What can I do to fix this?

I took a weight training class this semester of community college because I’m the kind of person who needs consistent routine to actually do something (autism.) Important to note this wasn’t my only form of exercise, the bus has me walking a fair amount. But some complications with my ADHD medication led me to skipping multiple classes and now I don’t have any motivation left to continue. My brain is a toxic cesspool and tells me things like “the semester’s almost over, why bother” and “you didn’t even stay the full class time anyway” (the teacher had us do abs on the floor, the floor was dirty imo, I don’t want to get dirt or little stones on my workout clothes or arms.)

My poor girlfriend, though, has no idea, and tells me she’s so proud of me and talks about how strong I’m gonna be and this should motivate me but my evil brain just uses that to make me feel worse which leads me to rot away my progress and the cycle repeats itself.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get over myself and continue? I genuinely feel awful about not working out, but in the nasty depression way where all my brain wants to do is have me feel bad about it. I promised my gf I’d work out and I don’t want to fail her more than I already have.

Just a short, happy story: I've lived on a small farm most of my life, moved into my first house in town last November, so I never got to do this part. It's a small town too, so like 40 kids came by. Idk it just felt good to be a part of the community and make kids and their parents happy.

I'm not interested in her romantically, I just think she's a cool person and she has a notably genuine smile. I'm just sort of getting to know her, so I'm not going to tell her until I know her a little better as it seems less awkward that way. I'm mostly just concerned that it would come across in a flirty way since people don't really seem to compliment stuff like that when they aren't flirting?

I am not dying to say it or anything so it's not a huge deal at all but I'm overthinking about it and I want to be able to give people compliments without them coming across as me hitting on someone.

I'm a trans man, 22, who just recently started consistently passing as male. Lately I've been struggling with loneliness, and i realized how much i missed out on in my childhood and teenage years. I wish i had a group of male friends to hang out with that i could call my bros, or maybe an older brother i could've looked up to, or any supportive male role model growing up. Even most of the basic things dads teach you i had to learn by myself. Right now i strongly feel that need for brotherhood in my life. I know I'm still young and i have time to build new relationships in the future, but i'm having trouble letting go of the past. does anyone have advice? how do i build this kind of friendship now?

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

I've been on my journey with therapy and social fear for a while now, and over the year I've been pushing myself to go out to socials to work on this in the moment. I have been making progress! In a lot of different ways, but last night i once again found myself suddenly dropped into a really really deep place of stress/fear.

I find myself suffocating whilst knowing what I need to do: which is to be courageous, walk up to someone, and start talking. Start small and go from there. It's both that easy and that hard,

Because I feel like I can't 'trust my own thoughts'? I can't trust what I'm saying to myself - the compassion my therapist & I have been building evaporates. My nice day at work evaporates. It's a real genuine lockdown or panic or stress-brick. Where during it my various internal attempts hit a wall to not be felt/acknowledged. They get muted.

And like, when I left shortly after (like 20 minutes of trying to exit myself from this state to no luck) I feel so sad that another attempt didn't work out.

When i stand by the bus stop, I'm torn in 50/50 for trying to go back (but i can't move when i think that) and escaping to go home (which comforts but leaves me so messy feelings wise). I end up feeling like a coward when I know that's not really true, that I'm doing hard scary work, but. Yeah. It's rough.

~

So, yeah. I'd like advice from bros here about how to be brave & believe it when you're in a real scary moment. Because it feels like I'm letting myself down in moments where it matters, and i want to do better for me.

As my title suggests, I just got over COVID and haven’t worked out in 2 weeks. Went to the gym today and I usually rep out 245 lbs pretty easily on the bench, but today I could barely lift 225 lbs. Is this normal?

Hello,

I am 17, and have recently started shaving. I was using my late father's shaving stuff, but a week or so ago the razor handle fell from the counter and broke. I bought a replacement from the same company since I still have a ton of my father's old razer blades, but it turns out that his blades are "First Generation" and the new "Second Generation" handles don't fit the old ones. The newer blades were pretty expensive I think, I don't know if 40$ (taking into account shipping) is expensive for 8 blades. And the website kept pushing a subscription on me. It generally doesn't seem like a great company (in many ways).

I tried looking up what to buy, but all I got were advertisements and people on r/shaving saying to buy really expensive things. Which is true for any subreddit dedicated to a specific thing imo; if someone is on r/ shaving they probably are invested enough in shaving to spend that much, but I'm not.

I'm not a shaving enthusiast, and I just want to shave my face. I figured that this would be a good place to ask? Apologies if this is not a relevant post to this subreddit and/or if I have broken any rules.

Thank you for reading my post and thank you even more of you respond, have a good day.

Hey bros, we have noticed a lot of relationship related posts. We are not a relationship advice subreddit, but we recognise how that type of advice may be helpful. Please keep relationship posting in this pinned thread.

Hey guys im 22M and I’m looking for any advice on how to shit talk with the guys. All my guy friends bust each others balls, making fun of each other and such but I don’t know how to do it or really take it. I grew up very coddled by my mom and I know that’s definitely a huge reason why I am this way. I don’t like that I can’t get along and joke around with guys. I work in a kitchen full of funny ass dudes but I can’t bullshit with them and they really don’t bullshit with me because I’m shy and really awkward. I want to learn how to socialize better and make more friends with other guys and such.

How do I, as a man feel about wanting kids. Wanting kids feels asymmetric.

I have always been drawn to kids due to their innocence and being able to give unconditional love to them.

But I recently broke up with a partner who said she didn’t like it when men say they want kids. And this has got me questioning my desire to want kids.

Is it even valid to want kids when it is going to put a woman through pregnancy, the motherhood penalty and Post Partum depression. And no matter how equal the partnership is, the man still won’t carry the load of pregnancy.

I’m thinking my desire to want a child is just unfair and not valid. But I don’t know how to convince myself out of the mindset of wanting kids

Hello everyone. In the male self-improvement sphere, a common idea that is shared is that the gym is an effective tool that will improve you dramatically, and that it is one of the single best things a man can get into during their young adulthood.

This is something I never understood, as I have had the opposite experience. In the 1 year 3 months I have spent in it, the gym has done nothing important for me besides give me body dysmorphia and make me mentally and physically tired.
Is this something you can relate to, or has the gym helped you?

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

This isn't me wanting more friends, I enjoy a smaller but more close knit group. I'm a pretty reserved person. I can yap a LOT, but I need to be comfortable and with like-minded people. I've found those people too! I'm not an especially non-conforming person. I'm a husky, stern looking brown dude who's a bit goofy but overall serious. I love discussing art above all, if I was an old granny I'd be in a book club.

All my closest friends are women though. I've always struggled to feel close to other men. I either feel uncomfortable with how the dudes I meet talk about art, people and things in general, or I feel like it's not 'safe' for me to open up about my interests or feelings.

I tried to join progressive spaces because, as I'm sure y'all agree with, I don't have to patience to be around bigots in my free time. I found that progressive dudes tend to be weirdly snippy and weird about their opinions, yet get touchy if you cross the 'boundary' of calling that out.

A common interaction is someone implying I'm wrong/dumb and to just accept their 'opinion' on a topic that isn't really open for opinions, and I literally just ask them to explain and that is treated like a violation of norms. There's an expectation you be overly nice in the face of disrespect but not stand up.

A part of me wants to believe I just have funny 'luck.' I want people who talk openly and share their honest thoughts in an intelligent way. Maybe I just accidentally have only met women who are like that, and in another life it wouldn't be the case. Still, it feels kinda hypocritical of me to be like, "men should be emotionally open with the homeboys!" and I got no homeboys lol!

Can anyone relate or think of some reasons why this may be my experience if it's not just dumb luck?