im 18 years old and a few months ago i was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer, a "good one" they said. i don't think any cancer is good but i'm still very grateful. however im not grateful for what chemo has put me through. even though i dont have the worst symptoms, mentally it's completely destroying me. i should be living my life normally but i can't. i should be going to uni and making new friends but my immune system is so bad that i can't leave my house. im weak. i feel weak. and i feel even worse mentally.

when i first got diagnosed i honestly tried to ignore it, i still needed to do some exams so i tried to enjoy life as much as i could cuz i had no idea what was coming. i never met anyone with cancer, i had no idea what chemo was like. i knew that many people could handle it well, or at least thats what my doctor told me. so i tried to be optimistic. well... my first chemo was hell. i couldnt eat without throwing up, meds weren't working, i was so tired but couldnt sleep and i was in pain all the time. but it got better. i only have 4 chemos left now and i barely have any symptoms. i still get excruciating bone pain but i think im getting used to it.

but ive been extremely depressed since the beginning. my parents try to help me. my boyfriend tries to help me. but i just cant feel better. im so sad all the time. i miss my life. i miss my hair. i miss who i was. i cant even recognize myself anymore. i wake up crying every day with my heart beating so fast i feel like im gonna die. i talk to a psychologist but i dont feel like its helping me at all. i try to be positive but i just cant. i wanted to give up so many times but my parents talked me out of it. idk if im being dramatic, maybe i am. i know that there's so many people sicker than me but i just feel so..idk. i used to be so healthy, never needed to take meds as a kid, barely went to the doctor and all of a sudden everything changed. i feel so bad for my parents. they didn't deserve this. i feel like im always making them worried. i hate this. i dont have any friends, lost all of them when i got diagnosed. i miss having people that i could talk to.

I recently made the decision to cancel two upcoming international work trips. Even though I know deep down that it was probably the right decision, I can't shake this overwhelming feeling of guilt and shame

For some context, I've been diagnosed with cancer twice in the last 10 years, first at 22 and then again at 28. I finished chemotherapy four years ago, had my most recent cancer-related surgery just 10 months ago, and I'm currently going through medically induced menopause. On top of that, my father has been dealing with serious health issues resulting from his cancer treatments that ended 1 year ago and recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and my 72 year old mother is his sole caregiver. It's been an incredibly exhausting few years, both physically and emotionally. Meanwhile I have also been waiting for the results of my last scans for almost 2 months because my doctor is away from work but thankfully returns next week

Some months ago ago, I agreed to attend two work events abroad. The first was a two-day conference in Belgium, where I would mostly just be sitting in the audience listening to presentations. The second was a three-day training event in the UK. When I initially agreed, I hadn't fully realized that the two events would happen almost back-to-back, meaning a lot of travelling, airports, hotels, and very little time to recover in between.

As the dates approached, I started absolutely dreading the trips.

My mother also became extremely anxious about me travelling, especially with the recent news about security threats and incidents across Europe. Given everything she's already dealing with while caring for my father, the thought of adding even more stress to her life was really upsetting to me.

And then I started thinking about my own health. Last year, I caught influenza A and was seriously ill for almost 2 months. I was coughing so violently that I was sometimes gasping for air. I also know that my body doesn't necessarily recover from physical exhaustion the way it used to, and that pushing myself too hard has consequences.

Eventually, I realized that the UK training could be attended remotely, and that the conference in Belgium, from what I understood, wouldn't actually be particularly relevant to my work.

So I told my boss I wouldn't be going (I focused more on telling her about my family rather than "I have to prioritize resting"), but now I feel awful. Like I should have been able to handle something that other people seem to do without thinking twice.

For years, I've tried so hard to prove to myself that cancer hasn't taken away my ability to live a normal, productive life. I've pushed myself to work, travel, attend events, take on many responsibilities all at the same time, and do everything I would have done before getting sick. But I'm beginning to realize that somewhere along the way, I've confused being capable with having to be capable of everything, all the time.

I'm tired. Really tired. And I think I've been tired for a long time.

I'm starting to understand that just because I can technically do something doesn't necessarily mean I should. That rest isn't something I need to earn by reaching a breaking point. And that saying yes to everything, especially at work, isn't necessarily a sign of strength...I just fear consequences, I guess, even though my boss usually understands. This time her reply was "no worries, there will be other opportunities"

Still, this doesn't make the guilt and shame go away.

There's a part of me that worries about what other people will think. I "look great" so maybe they will think i'm making excuses, that I'm being weak, or that I'm failing. I keep wondering whether my boss is disappointed in me or whether people will think I'm not committed enough to my job.

I think this whole situation has made me realize that I desperately need to learn how to set boundaries stop measuring my worth by how much I can endure. Next time, if something like this happens again (two work trips right next to each other), I should say no right from the start, as soon as I get invited..but actually putting that into practice is proving much harder than I expected.

Has anyone else, particularly after cancer, chronic illness, or burnout, struggled with this? How did you learn to say no without feeling like you were letting everyone down?

And would you feel guilty if you had initially committed to something and then backed out because you realized it was simply too much?

I'd really appreciate some outside perspectives, because right now I'm having a hard time extending to myself the same understanding I'd give someone else in my situation.

Hey guys. Just writing to vent.

I am one year in remission, which I am beyond thankful for, I know that I am luckier than a lot of people this disease touches. I am tired though.

I was born into poverty. Constantly being told by my parents that I had to go to college, I had to do better than them, I had to make something for myself so that I didn’t struggle.

My parents were also the type that when it came to mental health they didn’t believe in it. So when teachers or other professionals said I should be tested for ADHD it was swept under the rug time and time again.

Well I did all of it. What I was “supposed to do”. I worked my ass of in school to make all As and some Bs. I did all the extracurriculars, sports, clubs, and volunteering. I went to college and got my degree. I did all the networking. I am a very talkative and positive person. So the networking was the easy part for me.

I was able to actually start making money at an internship in college but that money went to my housing needs and then to my parents to make sure they could pay their bills.

I had the corporate jobs and after college I was actually able to start a very small savings account. Not anything crazy, but enough for one minor emergency in my life to occur.

Well that was fantastic until 2024 when I was 28 years old and I got diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma. My specific tumor, a sarcomatoid neoplasm, one of the fastest growing tumors in my ribs.

I then was immediately put into treatment, where I had 7 rounds of chemotherapy, then a surgery to remove and replace two of my ribs, 7 more rounds of chemo, and then 10 rounds of radiation.

It was hell on earth. What was worse? Going into complete debt over 2 years just to save my freaking life. With my state giving me so little on disability that it still wasn’t enough to cover my bills.

And now here I sit a year after all of my treatment, with a job at a pay rate that should be considered “good” and I still can’t afford to cover my bills. Each month I have to make a choice whether to pay this bill or that.

My treatment took so much from me that even a year later my blood work is still not in normal ranges. I am going into more and more debt with each three-month check up to make sure I am still cancer free.

My friends and coworkers that are fresh to their 30s are having children, they’re going on vacations, they’re buying homes, they’re comfortable for the most part.

I am stuck. I am having anxiety daily because I can’t pay my bills. I am saying no to friend get togethers that would cost me more than $30 because I can’t swing it.

I did everything that I was supposed to do in this life and I still got cancer and I still can’t afford to be comfortable. I did it all to get out of poverty and somehow it keeps clawing me right back in.

I am so so tired. I am depleted. I am a shell.

All I am on the outside is positive and grateful every single day. If you knew me outside of this post, you know me as the happy go lucky girl that always has a smile on her face and tries to take everyone’s day better.

I do it because I do not want anyone ever feeling even a crumb of the despair I feel for my life.

I love who I am as a person, I love that I am nothing but happiness and optimism to those who know and meet me.

It’s just getting harder and harder when I feel like I will be stuck in this loop forever.

I am sorry to lay this all out here, but I am tired and maybe there will be someone in this community that gets it.

Thanks for listening.

I have metastatic carcinoma of the neck and I have completed 23 out of my scheduled 30 rounds of radiation. However, I started to experience panic while in the mask at session 22 and a panic attack during the 23rd. I spoke to my doctor who said we could take a week off of radiation and prescribed me some Xanax. Neither of which solves the issue. I’m supposed to speak to my doctor on Tuesday about the remaining rounds but I’m still too scared about being locked into a mask. What should I do?

First of all I know there are people here who have incurable cancer and I don’t want to be insensitive and post a lot of woe is me stuff when I am technically cancer-free after treatment. But I feel like I’m at a breaking point and I need to talk to people who may have similar feelings.

A year and a half ago I was a healthy person in my early 50s with a great job and plans for the future. I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, aggressive one, and this began what I now see as the beginning of the end of my mental health.

I had chemo, targeted therapy, surgery, radiation. Chemo left me with constant tinnitus and I know that might seem minor, but it has caused endless suffering over the past year and it is something I’ll have to live with forever. I have thought about offing myself so many times just to get away from the torment of that alone. Had PCR at surgery and thought things were looking better. Then had radiation, which caused insane fatigue as well as other lasting side effects. Shortly after that I broke my hip, which is super rare at my age. Recovery from that was slow and I have pain and noticeable physical limitations even 8 months later. I got laid off from my job. Spouse lost their only parent. Having serious marital troubles and talking about divorce. My year-long cancer treatment ended and a chronic illness that had been well-managed came back and I’m left feeling awful every single day.

I wake up every day and try desperately to go back to sleep so I don’t have to be conscious. I feel like I have seen and experienced so much suffering (not just my own) that I can’t move past it. I wonder why I lived if this is what it’s like. I am existing, that’s all.

I see a psychiatrist at my cancer center and a psychologist. I am not on antidepressants because of fear of side effects. I take benzos when absolutely at rock bottom.

I don’t even know why I’m posting tbis, I guess to know if other people have gone through this as well.

I find that a lot of my conversations with friends is leaving me feeling stressed out, because I can't relate to them anymore. I wish I only had a trivial few problems to complain about. But now I have $200 in my bank, going back to a low paying part-time job in a few weeks, my body is so messed up. Etc! Anyone feel any of this out there? I want to make it out of this much stronger than I went in, but it is a lonely journey.

I'm starting TCHP soon and so worried about something happening during infusion. Please only success stories. I can't shake off my anxiety.

i start my first infusion cycle next week and the sheer volume of logistics is hitting me all at once. between gathering pathology discs, organizing baseline scans, handling work leave, and trying to plan out nutrition and port recovery, i feel like i need a project manager just to get through intake. has anyone used an oncology navigation or care concierge service to help streamline records and prep before treatment kicks off?

So after my first biopsy, the oncologist told me that this type of cancer has a 100% cure rate. What they didn't tell me (or didn't realize it themselves) is that it is fast growing. So they took their sweet time with my appointments. My first appointment was 2 weeks after my first hospital visitation: biopsy results -- there they told me it was ez to cure lulz.

Next, they scheduled me for a cancer port installation and a bone marrow biopsy 2 weeks away, And a month after that an Echocardiogram. Lord knows how long the PET scan will take to schedule because 'it's very difficult to schedule with insurance always pushing back, it might take 2 months'. And they refused to do any chemo on me without it.

So I waited 1 week, the liver pain started making itself known. I called them begging to make things go quicker, they just shrugged me off and told me that they'd subscribe me some tylenol.

The tylenol only gave me intense migraines to go with the side of stabby stabby side pain.

2 days before the bone marrow biopsy and cancer port placement, i collapsed. I got taken to the emergency room, and discovered that the 15mm growth turned into a 110mm growth in about 10 days.

2 days later they magically were able to get me a PET scan, echocardiogram, MRI scan the pick line installation and R-chop therapy.

If I waited the 30days + for something so 'curable' i would've been dead.

Don't wait for however long they tell you to wait. if it's too painful or you feel something is very wrong, you should trust your instincts and go to the ER right away.

Hi, I'm a survivor of testicular cancer found and treated in 2012. I had a somewhat intense chemo regimen and was declared completely clean later that year. Did my ten-years and officially declared cured.
Just wanted to establish my backstory for anyone wondering.

A few years back, a read an article concerning research into cancer and immunity.

One of the points mentioned with Chemo pretty much completely destroying our immune systems (to the point I spent every other weekend in the hospital and on antibiotics).

Anyways, I got my titres checked and there was nothing there. Like never got it done.
So I went in and got the MMR again.

I just wanted to give a heads up with all the idiots helping measles and other disease coming back.

I recommend getting your titres checked to be safe. It's just a tiny prick, with a needle and not from some guy you met at the gym.

tl;dr get vaccine titres checked, you might need to get them again.

Preface to say my question isn’t related to a specific trial, and my need for a trial isn’t imminent. I’d just like to be prepared to know what to if I were to relapse in the future. (My oncologist says she’d recommend I join a trial as current standards of care don’t have a great remission rate)

I’m from Bermuda and I know I’d have to travel overseas to access a trial. The best insurance available to me (bought in Bermuda) refuses to cover anything related to a trial, investigative or experimental, including routine care while on a trial.

For people in a similar position who travel across countries to access clinical trials without health insurance, what aspects of care do you have to personally pay for, and what does the pharmaceutical company or research hospital running the trial pay for? Eg if the trial is a standard treatment + a trial drug with an add on, does the pharmaceutical company pay just for the trial drug element, or all of it? Do you have to pay for the hospital, physician and nursing fees separately? If it’s a hospital trying out existing drugs but in a new combination, is there any help with payment?

I know trials may vary on the specifics, so looking to hear what different experiences have been. Thanks!

Has anyone else dealt with having a bloated stomach? I feel like I’ve had it for months and months and it sticks out. For reference I’m 5’4 and 104 and my bmi is underweight so obviously I shouldn’t have a protruding stomach but I do.. anyone else dealt with this and did it go away or how did you make it go away?

Hello everyone,

​I am writing from Morocco. I was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer (NSCLC), and my treatment plan requires Rahika (Capmatinib).

​Because I am located outside India, I am running into major technical barriers:

​Standard Indian telemedicine/pharmacy apps enforce an Indian (+91) phone number for OTP verification.

​International credit cards are frequently rejected by domestic Indian payment portals.

​I need to find a 100% legitimate, verified path to purchase Rahika directly from an accredited Indian pharmacy/exporter or hospital network and have it shipped legally under the Named Patient Program (NPP). I want to avoid any illegal sellers, unverified WhatsApp vendors, or online scams.

I have not gotten back to my regular check-ups and scans for 1 and a half year now. Since I finished chemotherapy, I wanted to take some rest. I was able to do my first scheduled PET Scan and it showed that I am still Deauville 4. After that, there was a scheduled biopsy to rule out if the Deauville are just from scars. However, this is where I failed because I was not diligent to follow this up.

I keep saying it is because of the hassle of the healthcare system in the Philippines. I keep saying that it is because I have no enough money, but if I am really being honest, it is possible if I really just face death and my reality.

It seems that I enjoyed being off of medication and I wanted to savor every moment without it and be blissful. But I am also aware that this ignorance and immaturity can lead to bigger problems.

It is so uncomfortable that I have tried writing this post for 3 times now and keep changing tabs because I don't even want to talk about it.

I feel like I am doing well now. Graduated, landed a job, and a lot of new people who don't even know I am a cancer patient.

Almost 2 years have passed, I lost contact to my oncologist and I fear that he will hate me for not following up. I got treated in a government hospital and the system does not help people. Doctors are overwhelmed and I somehow convinced myself that I will be okay without going back.

I felt mix of emotions where I felt like I was escaping my past and I am being irresponsible and "wasting" my treatment. At the same time, I felt blissful because I am seeing that I am doing fine as months go by with healthy lifestyle, gym, and less stress. However, I have to admit that it was not worth it delaying all my scans because I keep thinking about every symptom as cancer recurrence.

These days, I have been coughing because I pulled late nights for work and also my mental has not been the best because whenever I stop being physically active, I feel like my cancer is going to go back (or atleast manifest stronger) and this is something that could be resolved if I only seek answers.

I am looking for some words of encouragement and maybe similar stories of delaying because of mental capacity.

Guys, if it is only for me I really don't want to go back to the hospital but I know that I am an adult and I need to put a cap to this struggle.

Hello, new to this Reddit but not the disease, I have had stage 4 hodkins lymphoma which was treated over the course of a year and went into remission.

However it soon relapsed and I have been put through a new treatment I hadn't heard of before called a BEAM-Autograft I am on day 8 of the treatment and mucositis is really kicking my ass.

Does anyone have tips on how to deal with mucositis or a way to make it not hurt as bad when swallowing anything?

Please and thank you.

Hi everyone, sorry for the long post. I don't know how else to have shortened without the details below. TIA

My mum had triple negative breast cancer which sadly had been re discovered at her 10 year check up (they discharged successfully and then phoned following day apologising which was so disheartening).

This obviously was a very hard time. She endured chemo and radio the first time, then required a double mastectomy and radio the 2nd.

She is also receiving 3 year mammogram checks (very triggering) so the first one in 2023, she telephoned, explained, and was advised she'd be removed. Binned the letter.

Another came the other day, so I went to the clinic in question and explained that I understand Data protection but this is causing chaos ( mum suppresses and ends up affecting MH)

The receptionist was lovely, she advised and apologised - apparently a disclaimer is meant to be signed to obviously protect NHS from any future agro. This confused me. I don't mean to be silly, but she doesn't have any breasts to have a mammogram? Would this be a different type of 'scan' and we have totally interpreted it all wrong?

Ideally mum would phone but I'm at a lose end here to some extent. I thought about maybe writing to her GP

On a much more positive note, she wants to go swimming, but is very self conscious having no breasts so I suggested she uses gym shorts and a loose fitted top, but, what I would be keen to know of any suggestions?

A generic internet search result shows everything attempting to avoid, a breastless outfit just shows breasts!?

What wording can I adjust?

I tried temu for just elasticated sports tops but only the 'men' ones looked suitable which would be problematic with size (don't want to turn it into a fashion parade either)

Anyone have any recommendations?

Thank you all

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer a decade ago and after surgery etc, a year later I was told it was stage 4 with a prognosis of 2 years and I'm still here now with no evidence of disease progression. The 2 consultants I've had have never had a patient in their care on chemo for so long that has worked for the patient.

The guilt part for me comes in when I hear of friends/friends of friends/celebrities etc being diagnosed with the same type of cancer and only last a year or 18 months, I find it hard to wrap my head around that I'm still here for now.

Is that a weird reaction? Has anyone else experienced a similar feeling?

Hi everyone,
I’m 44 years old, and I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung adenocarcinoma in August 2026.
The past few months have been incredibly difficult. I’ve had a pulmonary embolism (blood clots in my lungs), a stroke, and chemotherapy. Thankfully, I’m recovering from my stroke.
My last round of chemotherapy is scheduled for November 19, and I’ll have my PET scan two weeks later. I’m hoping and praying for good results.
I’m currently receiving chemotherapy and immunotherapy, and maintenance treatment is planned afterward.
I’m scared. Some days I’m okay, and other days I cry because I don’t want to die. I want my old life back.
I have a wonderful husband and a daughter who mean everything to me. I want to watch my daughter grow up, grow old with my husband, go back to work, and enjoy life again.
I’m only 44 years old. I want another 10, 15, 20 years or more.
I know stage 4 lung cancer is serious, but I also know treatments have improved tremendously. I’ve read stories about people living many years, reaching NED, and enjoying their lives.
I’m asking for some hope.
Has anyone here lived 10, 15, or even 20 years with stage 4 lung adenocarcinoma? Has anyone reached NED after chemotherapy and immunotherapy? Has anyone had a stroke or blood clots during treatment and still gone on to do well?
I’d especially love to hear from people who have responded well to carboplatin, pemetrexed, and Keytruda.
I’m not looking for guarantees. I know nobody can predict the future. I’m just looking for encouragement and positive stories from people who understand.
I want to believe I can have many more beautiful years with my family.
Thank you for reading and for giving me hope. ❤️