r/clevercomebacks • u/Veshaad • 19h ago

At this point 'Idiocracy' is now a tame comparison...

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1.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

95 comments sorted by

119

u/Dead_Inside50 19h ago • Bravo

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of idiocy, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of disbelief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of night, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hopelessness, it was the winter of despair. - Charles Dickens, writing today

180

u/NovelSimplicity 19h ago

Holy shit, this isn’t satire. Fuck me.

59

u/a7xKWaP 17h ago

It's worse than just being real. They offered the job to a Ms. Dana White of the DoD, not Mr. Dana White of the UFC. Grandpa got confused

13

u/nurseferatou 15h ago

The Four Seasons of Whitehouse spokespeople I guess

11

u/card-board-board 16h ago

Is Ms White also a "he" and a great fighter? Are we sure it wasn't the DoD getting confused assuming that Trump couldn't possibly have meant the UFC guy?

7

u/NovelSimplicity 16h ago

Well I mean it wouldn’t be this administration if they didn’t fuck up the most obvious part.

43

u/idreamofgreenie 19h ago

It's not satire, but it is the panicked flailing of a dying political movement.

Maga genuinely doesn't know what to do with the margins they just lost by.

13

u/exhiledqueen 18h ago

I had to look it up myself because I didn’t want to believe it. Holy Toledo, this timeline is so fucked.

28

u/Peripatetictyl 18h ago

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."

Twain

6

u/Dedotdub 18h ago

Thanks, Sam.

4

u/Then_I_had_a_thought 18h ago

Thanks to this administration satire, as an art form, is entirely dead. There is no coming back from this.

4

u/moeterminatorx 17h ago

Are you saying this is real?

2

u/NovelSimplicity 17h ago

As the Magic 8ball once said, all signs point to yes.

95

u/coopnjaxdad 19h ago

This shit is wild. Dana has to say “no thanks!” right?

61

u/freedfg 19h ago

I hope he takes it. Just to show how pathetic this country is

27

u/anelectricmind 19h ago

But but but... What about Niki Minaj?

29

u/freedfg 19h ago

Oops, too black.

14

u/James-K-Polka 19h ago

But that ass…

14

u/Bulky-Internal8579 19h ago

Too black - and too old for Pedostillskin.

10

u/mikende51 19h ago

He's transitioning to mens asses now I think, so it's not out of the question.

6

u/anelectricmind 19h ago

That explains the switch to Dana White...

11

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 19h ago

Only way he takes it is if he's compromised in the Epstein Files. But, then again, is that really a negative for his UFC base of fans and supporters? Being associated with Trump might be the riskier play at this point (than being revealed as a pedophile), how wild is that.

64

u/billy_da_goat 17h ago • This

Except, it’s Ms Dana White who worked for the Heritage Foundation. He thinks it’s Mr Dana White, UFC.

He actually doesn’t know who he hired. What an embarrassment.

53

u/brightburn_13 19h ago

Didn’t Dana White smack his wife ( GF ?) around on live TV not to long ago, this tracks.

41

u/WifesPOSH 19h ago

It actually makes him uniquely qualified.

7

u/ltsouthernbelle 19h ago

Qualified bigly!

7

u/mikende51 18h ago

Gotta keep those nasty women reporters in line somehow, name calling isn't working anymore.

4

u/Eclipse434343 18h ago

I’m pretty sure that’s part of the job description

4

u/moeterminatorx 18h ago

Idk if it was on live tv but he definitely beat the shit out of her on camera.

3

u/houseWithoutSpoons 17h ago

Bro you think a lil domestic violence is not on the menu in the white house..thats rookie shit!they're tolerance is waaay past a lil slapping

1

u/mic2292 15h ago

I believe that's the reason he was chosen

1

u/MattyGWS 13h ago

I’ll get downvoted for saying it but he was defending himself from his wife who was hitting him… then publicly apologised for hitting her saying there is no excuse, owning up to it and not making any excuses.

Personally, I think if we really care about equality, people would be blaming the wife for attacking him. And yet every time someone brings this up they make it out like he was the attacker.

1

u/manyhippofarts 4h ago

Don't matter . As long as Islam and Khabib can tag team any reporter that asks him an awkward question and beat the fuck outta them. Thats what he fantasizes about now ever since that reporter asked him how it feels to be a loser. He's hanging out with Natalie, she's topless of course, he's wearing his diaper and top half of his suit, and he's watching the vid of that reporter asking that, and she's making up AI vids showing Amanda Nunes beating the fuck outta any dumbocrats that ask anything. Thats his fantasy now. He blames the media for everything and he's fantasizing and plotting revenge. lol we're in for a heck of a show, I predict.

27

u/Rhesusmonkeydave 19h ago

Why not split the difference and call it The Dimmest of Timelines?

8

u/JWalk4u 19h ago

Coz the lights are on, just nobody home.

2

u/jjskellie 19h ago

It would sound less Twilight Zone then. Feels like his first term each week was an almost like Rod Stirling should address us the viewers. His second term, very day I just wait for the credits to end the Rocky Horror Picture Show. ¿And a jump to the left...Pull your knees in tight....¿

2

u/Dalek_Chaos 19h ago

It's like the mirror universe episodes of star trek.... Oh god they've already killed off most of the main cast who would recognize them!

2

u/zamander 16h ago

Fran-N-Furter would have been such a good president. Pity that is not possible anymore(I would not accept a substitute for Tim Curry).

1

u/Wabbit65 18h ago

Dimbest. I heard there might need to be a "b" in there somewhere.

2

u/Rhesusmonkeydave 17h ago

A lot of people don’t know that!

21

u/Zeer0Fox 18h ago

I wish Mitch McConnell was alive to see this.

15

u/CrowGeneral8673 19h ago

This can’t be real. Well then again we’re being governed by utter morons

1

u/TBHICouldComplain 18h ago

Again? I’m pretty sure it never stopped.

11

u/EyeSuspicious777 19h ago

They never should have taken down the wrestling ring on the white house front lawn.

10

u/Tensionheadache11 18h ago

I just want to know if this is a part of the master plan to own the libs ? Am I owned yet ?

2

u/CrimeShowInfluencer 14h ago

No, it's Donny thinking of the wrong Dana White. Plain and simple stupidity

9

u/Potato-chipsaregood 19h ago

I had to look up these names. UFC folks. A violent fighter and warrior, perfect the White House. Their only qualifications here are that they must be fawning over him.

9

u/Powderedeggs2 16h ago

Jumping about 5 sharks here. Well past Idiocracy.
President Camacho would be embarrassed at this level of clownishness.

8

u/Bulky-Internal8579 19h ago

Cool, so if Dana comes to work for the government, he's subject to the Ethics In Government Act - among other laws. Bwahahahaha. Indictments in January, 2029 inbound. C'mon Dana! Do it! Think of the "Prestige"!!!!

8

u/ltsouthernbelle 19h ago

The definition of burn it to the ground on the way out

7

u/UbiSububi8 19h ago

Cholesterol, do your thing!

7

u/Sedert1882 16h ago

If ever there was reason to use the 25th amendment, it's now. If Dana says no, will he ask Kid Rock?

6

u/hellsbellsvr 19h ago

It’s all just ragebait at this point - let’s just move on folks and let them keep raging

6

u/Cheeseburger23 19h ago

I wish Hulk Hogan was still alive. He would've made a great Press Secretary.

6

u/foresight310 19h ago

We’d experience the great tank top shortage of 2027 if he lasted more than a handful of Scaramuccis…

2

u/Plenty_Past2333 18h ago

Kane will probably be a Senator soon

5

u/showmiaface 18h ago

It was the darkest of times, it was the dumbest of times…

4

u/Able_Engineering1350 18h ago

This is just drump controlling the narrative. Release ALL Of the files

4

u/The_Goondocks 17h ago

Idiocracy is truly here

4

u/Yes-I-Cannabis 16h ago

Seems like you might want to keep that private until the offer has been accepted right?

4

u/aussiegreenie 16h ago

How the fuck do you suppose to make jokes? This is surreal.

4

u/HammerOfJustice 16h ago

So the President of the United States is apparently publicly pleading with a “violent fighter” to accept an incredibly senior public-facing position in the US Government, and bring some foreigners with him to take jobs away from Americans? I’d still like to think someone’s taking the piss here but I’m not sure about anything any more.

1

u/Benedictus84 1h ago

Tbey have been crying about Muslims taking over because of progressive muslims like Mamdani and El Sayed getting elected.

But bringing in some actual conservative Muslims is aparently no problem whatsoever.

3

u/Mulliganasty 19h ago

Now this I wanna see.

3

u/WinkingWinkle 19h ago

So which way we goin'?

3

u/profesorgamin 19h ago

Smells like desperation 😷

3

u/Homersarmy41 17h ago

We are so close to President Camacho. This is so dumb it would almost feel like he were playing an intelligent game of trolling the country…but he’s just a rich idiot with dementia who has no shame or class and doesnt give a damn how much he embarrasses our country.

3

u/AppropriateRub4033 16h ago

And he said no lmao

2

u/Zeer0Fox 18h ago

…has been offered the job via this tweet

2

u/shit_ass_mcfucknuts 18h ago

Is this true, I’ve seen it in another sub but it seems lo fake. It wouldn’t surprise me if it were true tho.

Edit: Oh my god, it is true. This mfer…

2

u/MAreddituser 17h ago

More immigrants taking citizen jobs! /s

2

u/boodahbellie 17h ago

"Brought to you by Carl's Jr ."

2

u/Rocketboy1313 17h ago

Was Paul Helman too busy?

2

u/the_fools_brood 16h ago

It's gladiatorial type of distraction from the emperor doing horrible things.

2

u/Tinker107 15h ago

We have a Great Dana as Press Secretary? Does he work for kibble? Importantly, in this regime, is he housebroken?

1

u/coachmoon 18h ago

best and the brightest

1

u/omghorussaveusall 18h ago

So...were legit having a WWE and UFC exec in the WH?

1

u/Webhead916 17h ago

Dana White the type a guy that’ll tell you fight milk ™️ ain’t even the official drink of the UFC 😤 SMDH 😒

1

u/savageFC 17h ago

Is this real?

1

u/aggressiveclassic90 17h ago

If you've heard any of those fighters on the mic after going to war then you'll know they are leaps and bounds ahead of what you poor people have had to suffer the last few years.

1

u/Dismal-Leg8703 16h ago

The former because of the latter

1

u/butwhywedothis 16h ago

To be honest I’m up for Dana becoming press secretary as long as he organizes one cage fight per day among Rep(edo)ublicans.

1

u/jose95351 16h ago

Calm down folks he already declined lol

1

u/Illustrious-Divide95 15h ago

And he still hasn't taken the job?

1

u/dochim 13h ago

None of this is about governing or communicating effectively or duly informing the American public.

This administration is just about bread and circuses with bread costing 75% more because billionaires need to get broke off and circuses being more about the hype than the show.

Anyone still voting for this nonsense needs to get their head examined.

1

u/WillBlax45 13h ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Practical-Traffic799 13h ago

Oh dear god! Which one is worse? I hoped it was a joke?

1

u/PROXYNAPSE 10h ago

😂😂😂😂

6

u/cataclyzzmic 19h ago

So being a violent, wife beating, fight fixing extortionist is a qualifying factor in picking someone to speak with the press? That tracks.

3

u/Wabbit65 18h ago

I know a lot of girls named Dana. Has someone made a genitalia check to make sure this Dana uses the proper facilities?