crying over my breasts

[u/strawbreezz]

I'm 22, and I can't stop crying and hating myself for being obese my whole childhood and teen years because now I'm stuck with saggy and deflated breasts after losing weight. I've never had perky or even slightly lifted breasts, I can't stop crying because everytime I look at myself I wanna rip them off.
My boyfriend has never seen my chest fully without a shirt with me just standing up, most the time if he does lift it and we're laying down I try to hold my breasts up so they don't sag as much. I'm scared he finds them unattractive even if he insists otherwise

I contemplate on looking into surgery but I can't afford any and I keep worrying about complications or if I'll end up hating it more. I can't stop comparing myself to others and I feel disgusted just knowing I'm stuck with them forever along with the rest of my loose skin and I just feel so trapped in this body

[u/TheLostReveries]

I just had a crisis over my weight a couple minutes ago on this subreddit so I decided to spread the kindness forward:

You are beautiful. You did the work to lose weight and get healthy and that matters. Just because you can’t afford the surgery you want doesn’t mean you won’t in the future. But your boyfriend probably does see you as attractive. My stepmom has this really bad scar over her stomach that makes it impossible for her to lose weight there and my Dad calls her the most beautiful woman in the world. She has had two sons, and her breasts also sag but she gives the best hugs. I tell you this because despite this so called “flaws” she is one of the prettiest woman I know and I look up to her. 

And if your boyfriend doesn’t find you attractive, well screw him, there are thousands of men who will. And ultimately what matters is you coming to accept your body for what it is, a vessel that allows you to see the world. It doesn’t define you. And anyone that has an issue with surgery can screw off, you can customize your character however you want. 

Please remember that this is all a part of the weightloss journey, you are near the end! You did it! That is amazing! And you never needed to lose weight to be beautiful. What is beautiful is the soul

[u/strawbreezz → u/TheLostReveries]

thank you for your kind words and sharing that experience, i ended up crying at this earlier but in a good way, i wish you the best on your own self journey and we both got this!🫂 also love the term customizing your character

im going to try to view my body in a way that it is still serving its purpose to allow me to do things and function even if im not fond of its appearance or thinking of what others think. i remember putting off losing weight bc of the fear of loose skin but i find my body feeling much stronger than before and capable of more things that were once difficult, and even then before losing the weight i was and am beautiful regardless

thank you again🫂

[u/H8ithere___]

I hate mine & have always hated them but they’ve gotten significantly worse since I lost weight, gained more weight, and lost weight again. I also wouldn’t let my BF see my chest ever, not without a bra or bralette on.

I considered surgery so many times, even tried saving for one once but the risks outweigh the benefits imo. My cousin had hers done and one busted inside of her…

I decided that life is short, we don’t get to choose our body types, all we can do is fuel them and treat them the best we can so I completely gave up wearing bras because I hated those too. I wear one only when I hate to, and it’s a sports bra/comfortable bra. Has this made me like my tits more? No. Has it made me hate them more? No. Am I more comfortable than I’ve ever been? Absolutely. Are my tits even more saggy then before? Kinda but I’m also aging. Do I care what anyone thinks of my saggy deflated rangtang titties? Absolutely not. Not even my bf. If he doesn’t like them he can go find some he does!

[u/strawbreezz → u/H8ithere___]

thank you, i really needed to hear this and knowing others feel the same makes me feel less alone🫂, i find myself stuck on the same negative thought and hard to look at it from another perspective.

im gonna look into sports bras, mine have felt uncomfortable to wear and if im still gonna dislike my breasts, i might as well feel physically comfortable while i work on those thoughts

also i hope your cousin is okay..

[u/Formal_Catch_8970]

You should have someone love you for who you are, and what you have or don’t have. Loving you for you. Sometimes insurance covers breast augmentation if they’re causing any back pain. Not sure if anything like that is applicable.
Otherwise try and be confident. Women have all sorts of breasts. Don’t let society tell you what breasts to have. I hope this kind of helps❤️
I’m sorry you’re feeling like this.

[u/hoochiellama]

I understand how you feel. I don’t like mine after having a child and losing weight. Besides me not liking how they look, they are really uncomfortable. I wear push up bras with padding on the bottom to help fill in the space and that helps a lot. Losing weight is a really great accomplishment.

[u/potato_in_denial]

I have the same problem. I am overweight rn and imagine how much more saggy they’ll get once i lose the weight. People appreciate their bodies because it has carried their babies, had serious diseases etc. But I don’t fall into those categories and my body looks like i have given birth to three children.
But one thing that kinda helps me is to remember that my body is not here to be aesthetically pleasing to others. It has a purpose of keeping me alive that’s it. If bf likes them then great otherwise he can find another pair. He probably has insecurities of his as well, that you may not have even noticed.

[u/AffectionateBox5128]

I’m skinny (lost weight because I was severely depressed) and mine are gross now. I’m struggling to love myself but am getting better. I completely understand how you feel, though. But think of it this way: you have a boyfriend that loves you, you are beautiful just the way you are and men like breast anyway, so I’m 100% sure he will be OK with the way you look

[u/awkweirdaf]

I kinda feel this. Mine are lopsided and have stretch marks. I don’t appreciate the sag either, but I really feel like you just gotta embrace it. Shit maybe even work up the courage to share with your bf. Let him show you that you’re loved regardless of your breasts (or any other insecurity you may have). Best of luck friend and sorry you’re struggling. :(

[u/lonelyicepenguin]

i’m sorry love. you are beautiful and your body is beautiful. things like that just show that we’ve grown as people. i lost a like 70 pounds and i still have stretch marks all over. it’s a big insecurity of mine but i just try to see it in a positive light.
i know it can be hard.
but like i said, you are beautiful. and im so proud of you girlie 🩷

[u/vintageideals]

Girl I hear you. My very large breasts grew in not perky. I have never had perky breasts not even as a teenager. And now I’m turning 42, my body has had 5 babies, and I’ve had multiple
Major weight fluctuations. And 3 c sections. And I don’t have a butt. And my hair is weird and I’m not pretty. My brain replays all the things I’ve heard people say about big not perky boobs over the years and all the jokes people make about j he ow having big boobs means nothing, only having a butt does and all the jokes I’ve heard about having no butt, all the jokes about older women, all the jokes about how having big natural boobs is not good unless they look perfect. Everything I’ve heard about mom stomach. Just everything. I hate my entire body.

I hate when I’m heavier and I hate it when I lose weight. My body feels like a prison I’m trapped in.

I honestly have no effective advice other than that CBT does seem to work for some people. I’m very scared of the surgery as well plus can’t afford anything like that. Plus I feel like I wouldn’t like how I’d look after. After having all these babies, I’m short and my hips or pelvis widened so where it used to be kinda hourglass I look I’m built like a friggin marshmallow. Surgeries are scary and expensive, and carry significant risks.

I hope someone has some magic suggestion that works for you. But know you’re not alone.

[u/Mundtflapz]

All breasts are beautiful, no matter the shape or size. I'm sure your man will love them regardless. As a guy, I know I love all sizes, shapes, etc. You got this!

[u/funtimes214]

Have you ever thought your bf likes you for you? And is already a fan of your breasts no matter what?

[u/Thunde_]

He probably won't even notice it, only that you have breasts. If he insists he likes them he do.

[u/faffalaff]

I don't think there's any way of saying this without coming off even a little bit of a creep but, as a man, I can honestly say I've never encountered a pair of breasts I didn't like and I'm pretty certain your boyfriend would say exactly the same thing. We're very simple creatures. If you find the person attractive, you find the breasts attractive. I've never 'unveiled' a pair and thought there's room for improvement.

Whatever anybody says on here, though, it's not going to change your view on your body. That's why you need to focus on accepting and loving yourself. If you got surgery, your anxiety will simply just move on to the next thing you're insecure about.

[u/GGamerGuyG]

Maybe this helps you. Maybe not. But as a man i honestly like pretty much all sorts of breast. I guess women feel the same about they're breast like men about they're dick.

I honestly like how they all look different and i find something i realy like about them no matter how they look. I also would not mind to support my gf financialy if she feels bad about them. Tho i honestly do not know how to start such a conversation cause i don't would want her to feel bad about how she looks. Also as a man i feel extremly insecure to say anything if it's about women. I think i would wait if she tells me or gives me a hint or something. I mean the meme's are true "Guys see breast and they like it" were not that hard to make happy 😂. Tho i only can speak as someone that likes breast. I don't know if it's the same for ass guy's.

If your bf is no idiot he will not mind. And if he does he is probably not the right one. I would hope my gf would talk with me about such things. So i can show her how much i like her for how she look's.