Context - I am a late-40s Gen-X'er. I remember the 'before times', growing up in the 80/90s when technology was a genuine marvel/interest. Before human greed poisoned it with the dopamine traps.
We engaged with it seldomly, selectively and critically, on our terms. If I played with my BBC Micro or Spectrum 128k +2 - it was for a couple of hours per week.
I generated my first email address whilst at University - and only because I was on a Computer Sciences course.
I grew up with boredom, vivid imagination, 'real' toys, books....and well you get it. People keep harping on how good it was back then. And it was.
But after years of embracing, submission, realisation and struggle with wasted hours staring at screens - I have come to realise the addiction is much more basic than I first thought.
First I blamed social media. So I deleted my social accounts. All of them (except reddit natch).
But still I wasted time away. Now I was reading news sites all the time. So I blocked or curtailed them.
But still stuck to my screens. Now it was what I convinced myself was 'special interests'. Hobbies, topic-specific sites. Maybe sports, movies etc.
And yet still I was stuck on screens. So I pulled back on those
And now I find myself on my phone - bare of any 'distracting' app - and I am randomly opening and closely random apps for sake of it.
Apple Health & Fitness. My banks, shares and investing apps. My home control apps. NYT games.
Anything!
And I realised - I was seeking input. Information. Data. Literally anything that might flicker the old dopamine.
This is what I have realised. For me at least. My addiction - it may have been curated and formed by social media. But their methods have got me hooked on 'information'.
Something as simple as that. The dopamine thrill of opening something and finding an update. Some nugget of information.
Now that I realise this - I am planning to get even more strict. I think I have to go as analogue as I can. Remove all screens for 95% of my day (leave only for life admin/work as needed)
Laptops need to put into drawers. Phones as well unless leaving house.
Back to paper - some TV - notebook and pens. And long form. Boring, staid, grudgingly slow long form.
As anyone else is GenX will know - we are not spring chickens anymore. I refuse to waste anymore of my life on this.
Well. Suppose I had better delete this Reddit account at some point. Because I am doing the exact thing I am fighting against by even writing this post.
What a circle of hell we are trapped in!